The Best Marjorie Travers Quotes

Chief: I hear Cam paid you a visit today. Him and that Bennett girl.
Marjorie: Yeah. Doesn't she think she's all that.
Chief: Yeah.
Marjorie: Pretty thing, though. Her mother was, too. That's why we hated each other.

Chief: I got you a present.
Marjorie: I love presents.
Chief: [giving her a small pouch] I nicked it off some asshole. Caught him with his pants down at the cruising spot at the brickworks.
Marjorie: [opening it to find a drug syringe] Is it good?
Chief: Only the best for you, babe.

Marjorie: Verna McBride. We're all shocked. No one can believe it.
Sgt. Cam Henry: Yeah. It's a real tragedy. It's been a long night, so...
Marjorie: But... but is it true? Was it the work of the Executioner?
Sgt. Cam Henry: Where the hell'd you hear that?
Marjorie: Word gets 'round. So do I.
Sgt. Cam Henry: Marjorie, I think you ought to be a lot more concerned with Verna's loss than with rumors of how she may have died.
Marjorie: Of course. God rest her soul.

Chief: Things could get complicated, Marjorie. You got caught in a lie.
Marjorie: I saw what I saw. I stick to my story.
Chief: Yeah, well, they're gonna be looking for inconsistencies in your story and they're gonna try and trick you.
Marjorie: They? I mean, it's your investigation, right?
Chief: Might not stay that way.
Marjorie: Well, don't worry, 'cause you know what? I am a very, very good liar. And I'm a lot smarter than I look.
Chief: What was Ariel wearing that night?
Marjorie: I, well, I don't know. What was she wearing?
Chief: Really? You remember what time karaoke was over, but you don't remember that? Which way was she walking? North or south? Or was she running? She probably was running, because she ended up on Sheridan Street seven minutes later.
Marjorie: Look, look, just tell me what you want me to say... a-and I'll say it. I'll say it.

Marjorie: I saw Ariel where I saw her and when I saw her. What more do you need to know?
Sgt. Cam Henry: Benny Peterson was at the Legion that night. That's right around the corner from where you said you saw Ariel.
Marjorie: Yeah, I know where the Legion is.
Sgt. Cam Henry: He left at 11:40 p.m. and no one saw him again 'til the next morning.
Marjorie: That's because he was busy raping and murdering his daughter.
Sgt. Cam Henry: Okay, well, we now know that's impossible. So I'm gonna ask you again, Marjorie. Are you sure that it's Ariel that you saw that night?
Marjorie: I was having a smoke in front of the White Onion Tavern. Ariel Peterson walked by me. I know it was 11:30, 'cause karaoke night at the Onion just let out. Starts 9:30, goes two hours. Unless my math is wrong, that'd put it at 11:30 p.m.
Sgt. Cam Henry: Well, thank you very much for your time, Marjorie. Let's go.
Sarah: [stopping at the door] You know, the fact that someone like you gets to live and waste their life is wrong on so many levels.
Marjorie: Sweetheart! Your mother might have been a whore, but at least she was fun.