The Best Max Perlich Quotes

[first lines]
Whistler: [narrating] Here's the thing. There's moments in your life that make you, that set the course of who you're gonna be. Sometimes they're little, subtle moments. Sometimes, they're not. I'll show you what I mean.

Buffy: You don't have anything useful to tell me, do you? What are you? Just some immortal demon sent down to even the score between good and evil?
Whistler: Wow! Good guess.
Buffy: Well, why don't you try getting off your immortal ass and fighting evil once in a while? 'Cause I'm sick and tired of doing it myself.
Whistler: In the end, you're always by yourself. You're all you've got. That's the point.
Buffy: Spare me.

Whistler: [narrating] Bottom line is, even if you see 'em comin', you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does.
[long pause]
Whistler: So, what are we? Helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are.

Buffy: I have had a *really* bad day, okay? If you have information worth hearing, then I am grateful for it. If you're gonna crack jokes, then I'm gonna pull out your *rib cage* and wear it as a hat.
Whistler: Hello to the imagery! Very nice.

Whistler: [to Angel] She's gonna have it tough, that Slayer. She's just a kid. A world full of big, bad things.

Gabe: I've been working up in Denver.
BASE: Work? Don't say that word man!
Evan: Man, I hate work. Even when somebody else is doing it.

Angel: You're not a vampire.
Whistler: A demon. Technically. I mean, I'm not a bad guy. Not all demons are dedicated to the destruction of all life.

Whistler: [to Angel] I mean that you can become an even more useless rodent than you already are or you can become someone. A person. Someone to be counted.

Whistler: Angel's the key... His blood will open the door to hell. Acathla opens his big mouth, creates a vortex, Then, only Angel's blood will close it... One blow will send 'em both back to Hell. But I strongly suggest that you get there before that happens.

Whistler: You know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never gonna get the good stuff.