The Best Professor Poopypants Quotes

Professor: Hiyah class, I'm your cool new teacher, not some scary guy with a secret evil agenda

Professor: You have no sense of humor, like a chair, or a supermodel.

Professor: This is the brain of an average child. Right here is the Thinking-about-candy-lopolus. The Fear-of-what's-under-the-bed Lobe. This is the The-only-thing-I'll-eat-is-pizza,-chicken-nuggets-or-bottled-noodles Lobe. Right here is the As-soon-as-someone-else-has-a-toy-I-want-that-toy Anterior Lobe. And this, this is the Hahaguffawchuckleamalus. This funny little purple part holds our entire capacity for laughter. For years, I've tried to shrink it or cut it out entirely. But frustratingly our survival seems dependent upon it!

George: Your problem isn't that people laugh at you. Your problem is that you can't laugh at yourself.
Professor: Oh, really, Oprah? Is that my problem?

Professor: Hello! I was just, like, admiring the view from your... broken window, in the shape of a naked balding man!