The Best Ralph Malph Quotes

Ralph: [Richie is worried that he's going crazy] Come on, Richie! You're no crazier than the rest of us! Look at Potsie. You think he's normal? And Fonzie... super-cool Fonzie. Fonzie with his "Ayyy!" I mean, that's pretty... that's really sicko when you come right down to it.
Richie: I wouldn't let him hear you say that.
Ralph: You tell him I said that, and I'll deny it! Every word!
Richie: OK, Ralph - take it easy.
Ralph: Now you take me - nice, normal Ralphie Malphie. I got no quirks. But I know what they're saying about me. They're saying my hair's too neat, I'm too cute, and girls crave my bod.
Richie: They're not saying that, Ralph.
Ralph: Yes they are. They're also saying that I look like a movie star because my teeth are too even.

Ralph: You're such a Potsie!

[repeated line]
Ralph: I've still got it!

Potsie: Rich! Rich!
Ralph: Come quick!
Richie: What? Is there something wrong?
Potsie: It's a shark!
Ralph: The Fonz...
Richie: Fonz got eaten by a shark?
Potsie: He did? Who said that?
Ralph: Not me! What're you talking about?
Richie: Well, you just said "The shark..."!
Ralph: Nooo! Listen! The Fonz is gonna jump *over* a shark!

[watching a Chicago Bears football game in 1956]
Ralph: That Bears quarterback is no good. He's washed up. He's 30.
Richie: That's ridiculous. George Blanda still has a few more good years left.

Ralph: I've still got it!