The Best Richie Cunningham Quotes

[watching a Chicago Bears football game in 1956]
Ralph: That Bears quarterback is no good. He's washed up. He's 30.
Richie: That's ridiculous. George Blanda still has a few more good years left.

Ralph: [Richie is worried that he's going crazy] Come on, Richie! You're no crazier than the rest of us! Look at Potsie. You think he's normal? And Fonzie... super-cool Fonzie. Fonzie with his "Ayyy!" I mean, that's pretty... that's really sicko when you come right down to it.
Richie: I wouldn't let him hear you say that.
Ralph: You tell him I said that, and I'll deny it! Every word!
Richie: OK, Ralph - take it easy.
Ralph: Now you take me - nice, normal Ralphie Malphie. I got no quirks. But I know what they're saying about me. They're saying my hair's too neat, I'm too cute, and girls crave my bod.
Richie: They're not saying that, Ralph.
Ralph: Yes they are. They're also saying that I look like a movie star because my teeth are too even.

Richie: I give up, Fonzie! I'm gonna be a monk!
Fonzie: Don't. You won't like their hairstyle.

[Fonzie's feet are sore from dancing and needs to be held up]
Fonzie: Aaaay, I'm up and moving!
Richie: You're in La-La land, Fonz.
Fonzie: Let me tell ya, it's a lot of fun in La-La land!

Richie: [an angry Richie has been drinking heavily at a local bar... Fonzie is trying to take him home] I would REALLY like to be alone right now.
Arthur: No you don't.
Richie: Let's get something straight right now, all right? The days when The Fonz can come riding in and solve all my problems with a few choice words are long gone! So why don't you leave-a-mundo?
Arthur: You're absolutely right. This is not a frosh mixer. I can't fix you up with a date, but you are my friend, we can talk about it and I haven't said 'a-mundo' in an awful long time!
[Richie turns away]
Arthur: Fine... you don't wanna say anything, we won't talk. Then we'll go home. You know why? 'Cause there's a lotta people worried about you.
Richie: [angry] I'll leave when I damn well feel like leaving!
Arthur: Good plan... good plan.
[gets up]
Arthur: Except something in my soul tells me that you want to leave
[yanks chair out from under Richie's feet]
Arthur: right now. So Richie, put the beer down and let's go home, OK?
[Richie stands up and punches Fonzie in the face]
Arthur: So we got that out of our systems, right? Come on, Richie. Let's go.
Richie: I said I'll leave when I feel like it!
[swings at Fonzie again and misses]
Arthur: [Fonzie restrains him and pins him to a pool table] What, are you crazy? You think I'm gonna let you do that a second time?
Richie: I'm gonna get you for that, Fonz! I'm gonna kick your butt!
Arthur: Right... right.
Richie: [Richie slowly comes to his senses] Fonz... what am I doing? I'm going crazy!
Arthur: [gently] It's OK... you're OK. Wanna get up.
Richie: [softly] Yeah.
Arthur: [Fonzie releases him and pats his shoulder] You're OK.
Richie: Man... I can't live like this. I can't go around living my life pretending I'm happy all the time! It's no good, Fonz! It's no good!
Arthur: I get the picture. You've been living your life for everybody else, right? You've been the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect father...
Richie: [interrupting] Perfect soldier!
Arthur: Perfect friend!
Arthur: It's time to take responsibility for your own life. You've gotta do what you wanna do, Richie.
Richie: [shakes his head] No, it's not that simple. See, my dad got me that job at the newspaper.
Arthur: So what?
Richie: My wife, Lori Beth, has her heart set on living in Milwaukee!
Arthur: Your wife Lori Beth has her heart set on spending the rest of her life with you! Don't sell her short! I mean, she loves you, Richie! She'll back you in anything you want to do! We all will!
Richie: Look, you're single. You don't know what it's like having people depending on you each and every day!
Arthur: [raising eyebrows] Are you delirious? All right, I'll be fair with you... I don't have a wife and kids. But if I had yours, I would let nothing stop me!

Arthur: [enters through kitchen] Hey Richie! I got 'em! Two first-class tickets to Tinseltown!
Richie: First class? Oh, Fonz... I can't afford First Class.
Arthur: Of course you can... I got 'em from Yolanda down at the travel agency. One more date and you're going to Europe!
[awkward silence]
Arthur: Well, I guess this is it, huh?
Richie: Yeah. Fonz, listen... um, I'm a writer... or at least I hope so.
[pulling envelope from his jacket]
Richie: Yet sometimes it's a little easier to express myself with words. I wrote this to you this morning. Because I knew when we were face to face like this, that I... well, I might not be able to find the words. How do you thank somebody who's been everything to you?
[Fonzie nods]
Richie: Your brother, your protector. You delivered my own child. I just don't know how I can ever say that.
Arthur: [shrugs] I think you just did.
[Richie goes to put the letter back in his pocket, but Fonzie takes it from him... he whispers as his voice breaks]
Arthur: I just wanna tell ya... that I love you. Very much.
[walks out]

Richie: So how did you do on that social studies test?
Potsie: I missed that question on Alaska. I hear they want to make it a state now.
Richie: That'll never happen.

The: You're dreaming about a girl you've never met?
Richie: Come on, Fonz, haven't you ever dreamed?
The: Hey I'm not the dreamer! I'm the dreamee!

Potsie: Rich! Rich!
Ralph: Come quick!
Richie: What? Is there something wrong?
Potsie: It's a shark!
Ralph: The Fonz...
Richie: Fonz got eaten by a shark?
Potsie: He did? Who said that?
Ralph: Not me! What're you talking about?
Richie: Well, you just said "The shark..."!
Ralph: Nooo! Listen! The Fonz is gonna jump *over* a shark!

The: [Marion has just told off the Fonz and stormed out of the room] I'm gonna hit her.
Howard: No, you're not gonna hit my wife.
The: Then I'll hit you!
Howard: You're not gonna hit my son.
The: Then I'll hit you!
Richie: You're not gonna hit my father either.
The: Well I gotta hit somebody. You know where Potsie is?

[repeated line]
Richie: Sit on it!

[Fonzie and Pinky have had a fight and are sitting at the dinner table]
Richie: Dad, uh, can you come upstairs with me for a minute?
Howard: I haven't finished my dessert yet.
Richie: Well, you can finish it upstairs, Dad.
Howard: What are you doing?
Richie: Well, we have to talk.
Howard: Talk about what?
Richie: I... I don't know... the birds and bees.
Howard: Oh, Richard, we already had that talk.
Richie: [refers to the table] Yeah, and you didn't learn much.

Richie: Hey, Fonzie, this Stripper she took off..
The: Nothing!
Richie: You knew?
The: Yeah, but Bull makes the World go around. I think I'm going to scratch that on the toilet wall.

Richie: [an angry Richie has been drinking heavily at a local bar... Fonzie is trying to take him home] I would REALLY like to be alone right now.
Arthur: No you don't.
Richie: Let's get something straight right now, all right? The days when The Fonz can come riding in and solve all my problems with a few choice words are long gone! So why don't you leave-a-mundo?
Arthur: You're absolutely right. This is not a frosh mixer. I can't fix you up with a date, but you are my friend, we can talk about it and I haven't said 'a-mundo' in an awful long time!
[Richie turns away]
Arthur: Fine... you don't wanna say anything, we won't talk. Then we'll go home. You know why? 'Cause there's a lotta people worried about you.
Richie: [angry] I'll leave when I damn well feel like leaving!
Arthur: Good plan... good plan.
[gets up]
Arthur: Except something in my soul tells me that you want to leave
[yanks chair out from under Richie's feet]
Arthur: right now. So Richie, put the beer down and let's go home, OK?
[Richie stands up and punches Fonzie in the face]
Arthur: So we got that out of our systems, right? Come on, Richie. Let's go.
Richie: I said I'll leave when I feel like it!
[swings at Fonzie again and misses]
Arthur: [Fonzie restrains him and pins him to a pool table] What, are you crazy? You think I'm gonna let you do that a second time?
Richie: I'm gonna get you for that, Fonz! I'm gonna kick your butt!
Arthur: Right... right.

Richie: A shark? That is the *stupidest* thing I have ever heard!
Fonzie: Stupid, yes. Also dumb. But it is something I've gotta do.
Richie: Fonz, you're not jumping over garbage cans on a bike. You're jumping over a shark. On nothing! On a couple of little skis! One little slip and chomp! Chomp! Chomp!
Fonzie: Thanks a lot for your support. Look, I was challenged. I gotta jump.

Richie: I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill.

Richie: [Richie tells his parents and Joanie that he's moving his family to California] Everything you said made a lot of sense... it was good advice. But I talked it over with Lori Beth, and we've decided that we have to give this a chance.
[pause]
Richie: Look, when we get to California, I might have to get an odd job or something. But this is what I really, really want to do.
[pause]
Richie: Now the only regret I have is that I have to say goodbye.
Howard: [standing up, addressing Marion] Give me that famous, pre-signed checkbook of yours, will ya?
[Marion hands it to him]
Richie: Dad, Dad... now wait... wait a minute... I really don't want to take any of your money.
Howard: Richard, you remember before when I was telling you about the sacrifices I made for my family? Well, for a little while, I forgot why. But it's because I wanted my children to go as far as their gifts could take them.
[hands him a blank check]
Howard: Now you take this and you fill in whatever amount you think you need.
Marion: [stands up] You know something? I don't know when I've been so proud of both of you. And now you're gonna leave just when I'm getting used to your moustache! It's gonna look very nice... on a screenwriter.
Richie: [gratefully] Thanks, Mom.