Top 20 Quotes From The Mad Hatter

Thug: Please, Mr. Hat, go easy on us.
Thug: We're sorry. Honest.
The: Why don't you do something useful, like, oh... go jump in the river?
Thug: Okay.

Dr. Jervis Tetch: It's impossible! No one's will is strong enough to escape my dream machine!
Batman: Why? Why did you do it?
Dr. Jervis Tetch: You, of all people, have the gall to ask me that? You ruined my life! I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted, just to keep you out of mine!

The: You're mighty in Gotham, Batman, but in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter reigns supreme.

The: I had to come back when I heard that cad abandoned you again.
Alice: How did you know? I didn't tell anyone.
The: Oh, pish-tush. What matters now is we have each other, now and forever.
Alice: [gasping as she sees Batman's sillhouette] Oh, this is getting too weird.
Batman: [stepping out of the shadows] What have you done with Marcia Cates and this girl's fiance?
The: No. I don't like this game. Let's play another.

Dr. Marcia Cates: Bruce, you remember Jervis Tetch.
Dr. Jervis Tetch: [shaking Bruce's hand] H-hello.
Bruce: Of course. I read your proposal on using microchips to enhance the brain's potential. Sounds intriguing.
Dr. Jervis Tetch: Actually, the prototype isn't quite ready yet.
Dr. Marcia Cates: Tetch, I think we owe our founder and employer, Mr. Wayne a little more than lame excuses.
Dr. Jervis Tetch: Sorry.
Bruce: That's all right, Dr. Cates. Mr. Tetch is a valued member of our research team. I'm sure we can spare him more time.
Dr. Jervis Tetch: As you say, Bruce.
Dr. Jervis Tetch: Thank you.
Dr. Marcia Cates: [to Tetch after Bruce leaves] You got off easy this time, Tetch. But heads could roll if you slip up again.

Bruce: [looking over a high ledge] You're wrong. There is a way for me to wake up.
The: N-now just a moment! You don't want to do anything foolish! This isn't an ordinary dream! What if you're wrong?
Bruce: Then I'll see you in your nightmares!

Scarface: Court is now in session! The Good People of Arkham Asylum vs. the self-righteous vigilante called Batman! Our prosecutor is ready, likewise our fair and impartial jury!
The: Hang him!
Harley: Shoot him!
Killer: Hit him with a rock!
Scarface: And now, all rise for the most honorable, most benevolent, most merciful Judge Joker!
The: [bangs gavel] Guilty!
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: I was promised a chance to defend my client!
The: Oh, very well. Like it'll make a difference.

Dr. Marcia Cates: Tetch! I don't know what you've done, but Mr. Wayne is demanding to see you in his office now! I'm warning you, if you've got my department into any kind of trouble...
Dr. Jervis Tetch: Oh, do be quiet, Dr. Cates!

Dr. Jervis Tetch: [after hearing Alice broke up with Billy] O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Ha ha, she's mine for the asking! I'll sweep her off her feet, treat her to a wonderful night on the town and -... and nothing. Oh, what could a beautiful girl like her see in someone like me? How could I impress her?

The: I'll cut that cowl off your neck before you take her! I've waited my whole lonely life for her!
Batman: Then all you've waited for is a puppet... a soulless little doll.
The: It didn't have to be this way! You made me do this to her!

The: Jury, you've heard the evidence. Consider your verdict.
The: [after deliberating with his fellow rogues on the jury, the Mad Hatter, acting as foreman, stands up] Your honor, in light of Ms. Van Dorn's stirring defense we have no choice but to find the defendant... not guilty.
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: [This verdict shocks everyone else in attendance, but none more so than Janet, who turns to Batman] Amazing.
The: Well done, counselor. You've proven that Batman didn't create us. That we, in fact, messed up our own rotten lives. And as we are so rotten, vile and depraved... we're going to waste you anyway.
The: [All the inmates of Arkham, including the criminals who just "acquitted" Batman, erupt in cheers, while Janet gasps] A-bi, a-bi, a-bi, that's all, folks!
[Bangs rubber chicken gavel]
The: Let's mambo!

The: [sobbing] Would not, could not... would not, could not... oh, could not join the dance.

The: Twinkle, twinkle, little bat, how I wonder what you're at.

Alice: Thank you for a wonderful time. You're a terrific friend.
The: Until tomorrow, dear Alice. Tomorrow and every day afterward.
Alice: [watching him waltz away] What a sweet, funny man.

Alice: [about Dr. Cates] She's always like that when the big boss drops by. Cheer up. My Wayne knows what you mean to the company.
Dr. Jervis Tetch: Sometimes, Alice, I think you're the only one who understands me.
Alice: That's just what my boyfriend says. I guess I'm lucky to have two such amazing men in my life. See you after lunch.

Alice: This is really a surprise, Jervis. You're so... quiet at work.
The: Oh, still waters run deep, my dear. It's always been my philosophy that people should take what they want from life.
Thug: Hey, ours too. Okay, Mr. Hat, let's have the money.
The: On your way, curs, lest I'm forced to teach you a lesson.

The: Good evening, Ms. Pleasance. I'm here to help you forget your recent heartbreak. Gotham can be a Wonderland, Alice. Tonight, let me be your guide.
Alice: I'll get my coat.

D.A. Janet Van Dorn: I suppose you, like your friends, claim that Batman 'drove' you to be a criminal?
The: He did.
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: And yet, as I recall your case, you brainwashed and kidnapped a woman who rejected you.
The: Batman forced me to do it! He was going to take her away from me, I had no choice!
D.A. Janet Van Dorn: You could have respected her wishes and left her alone.
The: I'D HAVE KILLED HER FIRST! Oop! I'd like that last statement stricken from the record please.
The: Record? Is someone supposed to be writing this down?

[after the Batman impostor is revealed]
Bruce: The Mad Hatter?
The: Congratulations are in order, I suppose. And you're right! This is a dream, a very special dream.
Bruce: Then you know everything about me?
The: I do! But I'm only a part of your dream. The mind control apparatus I've hooked you to reveals nothing to the outside world - its purpose is to create an ideal fantasy world for you!
Bruce: Then you're not the real Mad Hatter.
The: No. Just a figment of your imagination. But that doesn't mean I'm not real - in this dream world!
Bruce: Make it stop!
The: I'm crushed! You don't like the fantasy world I've created for you?
Bruce: It's not real!
The: Ah! Are you the dreamer or are you part of someone else's dream? That's exactly the question Tweedledee put to Alice in 'Through the Looking... '
Bruce: This isn't some silly storybook!
The: Oh, but it is! It's a beautiful story! You have love, wealth, a family, all you ever wanted! Your own private Wonderland!
Bruce: NO! I won't live a lie! No matter how attractive you make it!
The: It's a moot point, my friend. There's no way out!

Dr. Jervis Tetch: Of course, intellectually, I know it's all wrong. She's got a boyfriend, after all. Better to withdraw like a gentlemen. Forget her. Turn my heart to other pursuits. Never! Look, I've already developed a circuitry card powerful enough to control a human brain. It would be so easy to make her forget her boorish beau and love me. But it would reduce her to a soulless shell. Oh, no... not my Alice. Oh, it's hopeless.