The Best The Missing Link Quotes

The: Halt! I, Gallaxhar, command you to hand over the prisoner this instant.
Gallaxhar: Clearly you are defective beyond repair. Guards, take this defective clone to the incinerator!
[pause]
Gallaxhar: Well, what're you waiting for? You, and you!
[points at B.O.B and Dr. Cockroach]
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Seriously?
Gallaxhar: Yes. Take the prisoner and the defective clone to the incinerator.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Uh, of course, sir.
Gallaxhar: And here's a security pass, just in case.
[he offers a laser gun to B.O.B]
Gallaxhar: Would you like a gun?
B.O.B.: Yes, I would. Hey, guys, look.
[gun goes off and hits clone]
The: Okay...

The: You see what I'm saying? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's ever getting out.
General W.R. Monger: Good news, monsters! You're getting out!
The: Until today.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Wow, what a shindig. Your parents really know how to throw it down.
The: What? No, that was a great party, one of the best I've even been to since I got out of prison.
B.O.B.: I must have been at a different party, 'cause that's not how I interpreted it at all. I don't think your parents like me, and I think that jello gave me a fake phone number.

Susan: I can't believe it! Soon I'll be back in Derek's arms... or... he'll be in mine.
The: Ahh I can't wait for spring break back at Cocoa Beach just... freakin' everybody out.
B.O.B.: And I'll go back to my lab and finally finish my experiments.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: No no, that's me, B.O.B.
B.O.B.: Then I'll be a really giant lady.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: That's Susan, B.O.B.
B.O.B.: Fine. Then I'll go back to Modesto and be with Derek.
The: Yeah, that's still Susan B.O.B.
B.O.B.: I think I at least deserve a chance to be with Derek!

The: No monster has ever gotten out of here.
B.O.B.: That's not true! The invisible man did.
The: No he didn't. We just told you that so you wouldn't get upset.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: He died of a heart attack twenty-five years ago.
B.O.B.: Nooo!
The: Yeah. In that very chair.
[motions towards an empty chair]
The: He's still there.

Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: They called me crazy, but I'll show them. I'll show them all! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Susan: Doctor, I'd prefer you didn't do your mad scientist laugh while I'm hooked up to this machine.
[Insectosaurus roars]
The: You're right, Insecto. You've been letting that quack experiment on you for over a month.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist. There's a difference.
Susan: Guys, what choice do I have? If he can make me normal, or even six-foot-eight, I can get out of here, get back to the life I'm supposed to have. I mean, I should be in...
The: Let me guess, Fresno?
Susan: Well, Fresno is just a stepping stone. Next stop, Milwaukee, and then New York and then some day hopefully...
The: Yeah, we know. Paris.
Susan: Throw the switch, Doctor. But-but don't do the laugh.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Now, you're going to feel a slight pinch in the brain. Mwa-ha-ha... Sorry.
[he turns on the machine; Susan is shocked with electricity until she passes out. When she comes to, the others are standing over her]
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Susan! Yoo-hoo!
Susan: Am I small again?
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: I'm afraid not, my dear.
[Susan sits up, her hair standing on end]
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: In fact, you may actually have grown a couple of feet.

The: [as the ship is about to explode] It's been an honor knowing you, Doc.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: The feeling's mutual, my friend.
B.O.B.: I'll see you guys tomorrow, for lunch.
The: That's right, B.O.B.
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: There'll be candy, cake; balloons.
B.O.B.: Cake and balloons for lunch? It's gonna be the best day ever! I love you guys!

The: [while outside for the first time in 50 years] It a little hotter than I remember. Has the Earth gotten warmer? It would be great to know that... that would be a very convenient truth.

The: [about Susan] She's speechless!
B.O.B.: She?
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: Yes. We are in the prescence of the rare female monster.
B.O.B.: No way! It's a boy; look at his boobies!
The: We need to have a talk.

The: Don't scare Insectosaurus! He's gonna pee himself, and then we'll all be in trouble.

[B.O.B. picks up a three from a deck of cards, Insectosaurus is standing behind B.O.B]
The: Do you have any...
[Insectosaurus stomps three times]
The: Threes?
B.O.B.: Yes! I do! How are you doing this? You're the luckiest guy I know!
The: Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it.

The: Anyway, how, er, how was Derek?
[Susan sighs]
Susan: Derek is a selfish jerk.
B.O.B.: No!
Susan: Yes. All that talk about "us" - "I'm so proud of us", "Us just got a job in Fresno". There's no "us". There was only Derek. Why did I have to get hit by a meteor to see that? I'm such an idiot!
[she kicks the roof of the gas station, sending B.O.B. flying]
Susan: Why did I ever think life with Derek would be so great anyway? I mean, look at all the stuff I've done without him. Fighting an alien robot? That was me, not him. And that was amazing! Meeting you guys? Amazing. Dr. Cockroach, you can crawl up walls and build a super-computer out of a pizza box, two cans of hairspray and...
Dr. Cockroach Ph.D.: And a paper clip.
Susan: Amazing! And you - you hardly need an introduction; you're the Missing Link! You personally carried 250 co-eds off of Cocoa Beach, and still had the strength to fight off the National Guard.
The: And the Coast Guard. And also the Life Guard.
Susan: Amazing!
[B.O.B. lands]
Susan: B.O.B., who else could fall from unimaginable heights and end up without a single scratch?
B.O.B.: Link?
Susan: Y-you.
B.O.B.: Amazing!
[Insectosaurus roars]
The: Good point, Insecto. Susan, don't short-change yourself.
Susan: Oh, I'm not gonna short-change myself.
[stands at full height]
Susan: Ever again!