The Best DJ Quotes

[DJ and Aidan pull up to a drive-thru chapel]
Tunnel: Hello. Welcome to the Tunnel of Love.
DJ: [accepting broachers] Hi. Thank you. The "MJ Package"? No shit. Michael Jackson?
Tunnel: No, no. Michael Jordan.

DJ: [holding up a necklace for her mother to see] It screams D'Jewelry. Don't you agree?
Deborah: It does. It does.
DJ: Okay.
Deborah: Are you putting an apostrophe in that word? I forget.
DJ: Yeah, Deh
[makes hand motion and clicking sound, indicating punctuation]
DJ: Jewelry.

Ava: Aren't you in recovery?
DJ: Just for powder and pills, babe. Liquid's on the menu.