The Best Hannah Einbinder Quotes

Ava: [during the heated exchange that takes place the first time Ava and Deborah meet] I mean, the last thing on Earth I want to do is move to the desert to write some lame jokes for an old hack.

Ava: My mom's not a conspiracy theorist, but I think that's just because her internet is too slow.

Ava: Once when I was having an asthma attack, she said, "Do you have to do that in here?"

Deborah: [Deborah wants to sell her L.A. mansion] I'd love to sell it. It's been on the market for over a decade, but my asshole neighbors have tanked my property value. Built a goddamn treehouse that blocked the gorgeous view, which was the whole appeal!
Ava: Isn't the appeal that it's the castle from "Beauty and the Beast"?

Ava: [lamenting the controversial joke she wrote] I guess I crossed a line or whatever.
Deborah: Oh, honey, no. There is no line. It's just not funny. I mean, you should be blacklisted for how bad that joke is.

Ruby: Wow. Have you become a person that respects their boss?
Ava: [laughs] That or I have Stockholm syndrome, which is fine. I love Swedish culture. It usually comes with free health care.

Jimmy: Are you and Deborah Vance 'Thelma and Louise' yet or what?
Ava: No, but, uh, but I do want to drive off a cliff.

Ava: Aren't you in recovery?
DJ: Just for powder and pills, babe. Liquid's on the menu.

[Ava complains to her agent, Jimmy, that she can't get any work as a writer]
Jimmy: Look, you know I love your strong female POV. Obsessed. But maybe in the future, you don't need to say exactly how you're feeling about everything at all times.
Ava: Oh, my God. I'm sorry if I was unfiltered and honest or whatever, but that's literally what people like about my writing. Now - now all of a sudden, it's a problem? I mean, where's the line?
Jimmy: I don't know, okay?

Ava: [Ava tells Deborah about the Philadelphia 76ers] Their motto was "Trust the process." And I remember thinking like, "That's a good philosophy."

[Deborah laments not being able to find casino work on The Strip in Las Vegas]
Ava: I thought you said the MGM was interested.
Deborah: [sighs] Well, they're not. I should have... just retired and gone out on top.
Ava: [laughing] Who are you kidding? You could never retire. You're gonna be up on that stage until you die. At 109.

ER: Do you have any drugs in your system? Deborah Vance. Marijuana. A. Marijuana, yeah, marijuana. ERD. Wow. A. Yeah. ERD. Sounds fun. A. Yeah. ERD. Sounds like you're dehydrated. A. No. No, I drink, like, a glass of water a month. I'm always dehydrated. This is way worse. It-I think it's my appendix. ERD.
[chuckles]
ER: Miss, I know everyone has the internet now but leave the diagnosis to me, hm? All right? You just need fluids. DV. Hey, listen to her, you little prick. You're gonna examine her appendix then do a scan, and you're gonna do it quickly. I am very litigious. And I would love nothing more than to bury you in more debt than medical school ever could. ERD. RogerLynn, let's get a CT scan on Miss Daniels, please.
Ava: Uh, cocaine, uh, molly...
Deborah: Marijuana.
Ava: Marijuana, yeah, marijuana.
ER: Wow.
Ava: Yeah.
ER: Sounds fun.
Ava: Yeah.
ER: Sounds like you're dehydrated.
Ava: No. No, I drink, like, a glass of water a month. I'm always dehydrated. This is way worse. It - I think it's my appendix.
ER: [chuckles] Miss, I know everyone has the internet now but leave the diagnosis to me, hm? All right? You just need fluids.
Deborah: Hey, listen to her, you little prick. You're gonna examine her appendix then do a scan, and you're gonna do it quickly. I am very litigious. And I would love nothing more than to bury you in more debt than medical school ever could.
ER: RogerLynn, let's get a CT scan on Miss Daniels, please.