50 Best Ginger Grant Quotes

Professor: Well, until I can come up with a psychiatric approach to the problem, we're going to have to go along with her fantasy.
Jonas: You mean, we're going to have to go along with the fact that Mary Ann is Ginger?
Professor: Exactly, you see, as Ginger, Mary Ann will expect to see a Mary Ann among us.
Ginger: Well, where are we going to find a Mary Ann?
Professor: Well, one of us will have be Mary Ann.
Gilligan: Oh-no, I'm not going to be Mary Ann. I look terrible in pig tails.

Professor: Why, you ladies certainly look as beautiful as ever tonight.
Mary: Ha, ha. Professor, I bet you say that to all the girls.
Ginger: Mary Ann, we are... all the girls.

Professor: We haven't got time for tomfoolery.
Ginger: Oh, yes, we do. I've got time for tomfoolery. Dick and Harry Foolery, too.

Jonas: Oh, never mind, Professor, I'll test her myself! Now Ginger, start reading.
Ginger: Um, 36... 22...
[pauses]
Ginger: 36... Tsk-tsk-tsk.
Jonas: Well, Ginger, I was trying to figure out the longitude and latitude of... this island.
Gilligan: Oh-no, you weren't, Skipper. You were thinking about Gin...
Jonas: Never mind, Gilligan! You try, Professor.
Professor: All right, Ginger, read my mind.
Ginger: 36-22-36.
Professor: Well, that's just the atomic weight of sodium hydrochloride.

Professor: [All the castaways are present, seated or standing around the communal table with the radio on it. They are all ad-libbing as the Professor hears the radio] Wait a minute! Quiet! The announcement, quiet! Quiet!
Radio: And now they are activating the robot's receptor spools to see if they can find out how it got to Hawaii. The next voice you hear will be that of the robot.
Robot: [mechanically] I have been on a deserted island. The putt breaks to the right.
Thurston: Well, it was a lucky shot!
Robot: [mechanically] Sweep back and forth, back and forth. I was stranded. This is the way we wash our clothes.
Radio: Ladies and gentlemen, the scientists from the laboratory are checking to see exactly what went wrong. Perhaps now we can learn the reason the recorded messages are all scrambled... A WHAT?... Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, a RABBIT'S FOOT was just found in the robot!
[as the announcer continues, everyone slowly looks directly at Gilligan, with those who were seated slowly getting up. Gilligan smiles rather embarrassingly whilst shying away from their stares]
Radio: It demagnetized the entire receptor spools. There is now no chance of finding out where the robot has been, who reprogrammed it, or how it got to Hawaii. For that matter, how the rabbit's foot got in there in the first place!
Professor: [Almost unbelievingly] GILLIGAN?
Gilligan: [Still not looking at them and still smiling embarrassingly] I just thought it'd bring us some luck, ya know?
[Gilligan then slips under the table while the Skipper and Professor go after him as the scene fades out]

Ginger: We did find all the things you've lost on the island since we landed here, Bubblegum wrappers, baseball cards... .
Jonas: And your library card, your bank book... .
Mary: And the pages you've been tearing off the calendar...
Professor: And that great American novel you keep starting.
Gilligan: Well, at least we did clean up the island.

Ginger: Gilligan, what would you do if you looked like Eva?
Gilligan: I'd go right down to the draft board and get reclassified.

Ginger: Now, what does that totem pole got that I don't?
Gilligan: Three heads?
Ginger: [looking back at the totem pole] You win.

Ginger: Remember the plan?
Mary: Yeah, you're going to go in there and distract the Professor. You're going to put the hook on the briefcase, and I'm going to reel it in. You think you can handle it?
Ginger: Oh, believe me, for this kind of fishing, I've got the right kind of bait.

Ginger: My jewelry!
Thurston: My golf ball!
Jonas: My nails!
Mary: My dishes!
Gilligan: My teeth!
Mrs. Lovey Howell: My goodness!

Ginger: I want Cary Grant for Christmas but doubt Santa can fit that in my stocking.

Jonas: [During Mary Ann's dream after she thinks she ate some poisonous mushrooms] We've got to prepare for an operation. Where can we find a kitchen table?
Professor: Now just a minute, doctor. We've got to scrub up. Now nurse, where do we go to scrub up?
Ginger: Walk this way, gentlemen.
[Ginger walks sexily across the room to the sinks]
Jonas: We'll try and walk that way ma'am. but I don't think we'll make it.

Ginger: Mata Hari reporting for duty.
Professor: Ginger, this is neither the time nor the place for a woman.
Ginger: Forget that I'm a woman. I'm a secret agent trying to capture the enemy.

Jonas: I've got a problem. I've got a real problem. You're a girl, right?
Ginger: Well, if you're not sure about that, you have got a problem.

Mary: I used to be a Girl Scout, and they teach you a lot!
Ginger: I used to go with a Boy Scout, and they teach you a lot, too.

Ginger: Did you hear the one about the movie star who was divorced so many times she got custody of the judge?

Mary: Where's Gilligan?
Ginger: We forgot about Gilligan.
Jonas: Oh, the last time I saw Gilligan, he was collecting feathers for some ridiculous idea that he had.
Mary: Skipper, look.
[they see Gilligan on the roof of a hut with wings he made from feathers]
Jonas: Gilligan, come down here right now.
Gilligan: Skipper, I've been watching the birds fly. It's real easy.
Jonas: Gilligan, come down here right now.
Gilligan: Okay, here I come.
[he flaps his wings and floats in the air]
Jonas: Gilligan, you can't fly. It's impossible.
Gilligan: I can't?
Jonas: No!
Gilligan: Oh. Mmm.
[stops flapping his wings and falls to the ground]
Jonas: Gilligan! Gilligan, little buddy! Are you all right?
Gilligan: Why did you have to say that? Impossible? Why did you have to say that?

Ginger: If we had to get marooned on an island, why didn't we pick Manhattan?

Gilligan: Ginger, you're in show business. How were we?
Ginger: Gilligan, that act couldn't get booked on Devil's Island.

Professor: Oh, that wasn't much like Cary Grant, was it?
Ginger: That wasn't even much like General Grant!

Gilligan: I can't see how you are going to figure out how I read minds by asking me what happened as a kid.
Ginger: Well, I think I can. Did your father ever beat you?
Gilligan: Yes
Ginger: He did?
Gilligan: All the time.
Ginger: And your mother let him?
Gilligan: She used to beat me too.
Ginger: Oh, you poor thing.
Gilligan: How else could I learn to play checkers?

Thurston: [Ginger, as Evil Agent 5 in the dream, is contacting her boss, played by Mr. Howell, via a ladle in her soup. As he comes online, barley in the soup is severely obstructing his view] Evil agent 5, please.
Ginger: This *is* Evil Agent 5, can't you see?
Thurston: How am I supposed to see through all this barley?
Ginger: Oh, sorry about that, Chief.
[as he speaks, the barley fades away to have him in full view]

Professor: [the Professor takes a sponge and applies to Gilligan's nose by he pushes it away] Take it easy Gilligan it's just a cold compress.
Mrs. Lovey Howell: [Watching The Professor rubbing Gilligan's nose with a sponge] Ah, Your poor, poor nose! It really is an awful mess. It's actually swollen to the size of a 55 carat diamond!
Professor: Oh, please Mrs. Howell!
Gilligan: [Beginning to fret] Professor, it's broken; it's broken!
Professor: [Disagreeing] Gilligan, I'm sure it's just bruised; it's only slightly swollen.
Ginger: [Shocked] Slightly swollen? Gilligan, you'd better look out for the pelicans during mating season!"

Ginger: [She finished talking to Gilligan seductively with her arms around his neck in order to distract him enough to discreetly take his four-leaf clover medallion off his neck and slip it in her pocketbook, after she finished she seems disappointed she couldn't successfully seduce him] Oh well. I guess I don't have what it takes.
Gilligan: [Holding up the medallion to show her] You also don't have what you took, either.
Ginger: [Shocked, she opens her pocketbook to see it's not in there] Oh Gilligan! You're impossible!
[She storms off while Gilligan acts giddy]

Ginger: Mary Ann is under the impression that I've been getting you to do all my work for me.
[pauses]
Ginger: So you think so too? Well, do you know what I think?
Jonas: I most certainly do!

Mary: Ginger, we're supposed to be helping to catch a butterfly.
Ginger: Mary Ann, the only thing I know how to catch is a man.

Ginger: [She comes up to Gilligan, who is still seeing upside down, and he covers his eyes] Why are you covering your eyes?
Gilligan: Because I'm afraid to open them.
Ginger: Well, why?
Gilligan: Because you're upside down, and I'm afraid your dress will fall up.

Ginger: Is there a brave decent person on this island who would want to?
Gilligan: No, but there's a rotten cowardly person who doesn't want to.

Mary: [Kisses Dr. Balinkoff] That's for seeing our fire
Ginger: [Also kisses him] That's for coming to our rescue
Mary: [Kisses him again] That's for taking us off the island
Dr. Boris Balinkoff: [Ginger gives him a long passionate kiss on the lips and he's surprised] What was that for?
Ginger: [Happily] That's for being a man!

Gilligan: And another thing, the Skipper told me to tell everybody else, including you, to bring your, um, bare essentials.
Ginger: We'd be happy to.
Mary: Me too.
Gilligan: Oh, okay. I'll keep my eyes closed.

Ginger: Here. Twin beds. Now, I'll get you the victims. Meanwhile, you better hide.
Gilligan: Yes. That way, they won't know I'm here till it's too late. I'll run and hide in the alcove.
Ginger: We don't have an alcove, you schnook.

Mary: Back in Kansas, the farmers have a saying. It's the wolf you don't see. That's the one you have to worry about. Oh, but you don't come from a farm, so I guess you don't know anything about wolves.
Ginger: Are you kidding? I come from Hollywood.

Gilligan: He treated me like a father!
Mary: He was like a father to me!
Ginger: He was like a father to me!
Mrs. Lovey Howell: He was like a husband to me!

Ginger: [Gilligan puts a blanket around Ginger] Gilligan, it's much too hot for a blanket.
Gilligan: It won't be in a few minutes. I used a lot of bleach on your dress.
Ginger: [Looks at her dress under the blanket] Oh no!
Gilligan: Oh yes!
Ginger: [as her dress slides off under the blanket] Oh my!

Gilligan: [as a vampire, standing before an open window] I shall swoop down upon their unsuspecting necks!
[Gilligan jumps out of the window, followed shortly by a crashing sound. Gilligan is then seen climbing back in through the same window]
Ginger: [as Gilligan the vampire's wife] What happened?
Gilligan: I forgot to turn into a bat!
Ginger: What kind of a vampire are you, anyway?

Ginger: Mr. Howell, this is no time for a party.
Thurston: You might say that it's a coming out party.

Ginger: I learned a little Hawaiian when I was singing in a club in Waikiki. Wahine wiki huki luki nu, and every word of it comes from the bottom of my heart.
Gilligan: Gee, that's real nice, Ginger. What does it mean?
Ginger: "This bar is off limits to all military personnel."

Ginger: My, don't you look handsome today.
Gilligan: I'm all covered with tar.
Ginger: Some men wear tar better than others.

Ginger: [Looking into a mirror] All I get is a blank expression.
Mary: You don't need a mirror, you're still beautiful.
Ginger: Oh, I know. But I like to get another opinion.

Gilligan: My grandmother always said, 'Never criticize anyone else unless you can do better yourself.
Ginger: That's it! Gilligan, you've done it again!
Gilligan: I don't know what it is that I'm doing, but I sure as heck keep doing it!

Gilligan: [after the raft sank in the lagoon, and the castaways make it back to shore] Hey Skipper? We sank anyway without the gold.
Jonas: Oh, I'm afraid this is all my fault, folks. Why I didn't think one bag of gold would sink us.
Mrs. Lovey Howell: Two bags.
Thurston: Three bags.
Ginger: Four bags.
Professor: Five bags.
Mary: Six bags.
Gilligan: [after they all looked at him, he scoffs] That's a switch. Usually I'm one left holding the bag.

Ginger: [regarding his poor childhood] What did you and your family do for entertainment?
Norbert: We used to sit around and watch each other get skinny.

Mary: And bring him back alive!
Ginger: Not the ape... Gilligan.

Ginger: Where's Mary Ann?
Duke: Baby, we don't need a cheering section.
Ginger: I do, I'm an actress.

Mary: Gee, you were in The Land of the Vampires, weren't you Ginger?
Ginger: No, I was up for a part, but I was the wrong blood type.

Mary: Won't it be wonderful when those sailors pick us up, Ginger?
Ginger: Won't be the first time it's happened to me, Mary Ann.

Ginger: Professor, when you were a teen, didn't you ever go to a drive-in movie?
Professor: [Failing to grasp the implication of teenage sex] Once, but the curvature of the screen and the fidelity of the sound made it impossible to enjoy the movie!

Gilligan: [the Professor woke up from his sleep after Gilligan panicked] Professor, you shouldn't be walking around dead. It might be fatal!
Ginger: We were just rehearsing a scene from a play I was once in.
Gilligan: What about the gun huh? What about the gun?
Ginger: This gun?
[Shoots the gun]
Ginger: Blanks.
Jonas: Oh thank goodness it was just blanks.
[Gilligan shown on the floor unconscious]

Ginger: I think the two things I miss the most are vegetables and dates.
Gilligan: We have plenty of dates here on the island.
Ginger: Not the kind I miss.

Mary: [to Ginger and the others] Now let's not give up hope. We've got to believe Gilligan is still alive, and he's going to stay that way.
Ginger: [Referencing Mary Poppins film] You're not Mary Ann. You're Mary Poppins.