The Best Neil Kellerman Quotes

Neil: So is everyone gonna be in the show?
Jake: No. We're leaving tomorrow so we can miss the weekend traffic.
Marjorie: But Jake, we're payed up til Sunday.
Lisa: Daddy, I'm not gonna miss the show. I was suppose to sing in it.
Jake: I said we're leaving tomorrow.
Marjorie: Why would you wanna leave so early?
Jake: It was just a thought. We can stay if you want. So, Lisa, what we're you planning on singing?
Lisa: I'm not sure. What do you think I should sing, Daddy?

Baby: Who's that?
[they look over at Johnny and Penny dancing]
Neil: Oh, them. They're the dance people. They're here to keep the, uh, guests happy.

Neil: I have to say it. I'm known as the catch of the county.
Baby: I'm sure you are.
Neil: But last week, I took a girl from Jamie, the lifeguard. And he said to her, right in front of me, "What does he have that I don't have?" And she said, "Two hotels."