50 Best Sam Elliott Quotes

Shea: You're too smart to be workin' here.
Melodi: I make more money than bankers.

James: You do what you want. I'm heading west.
Shea: [emphatically] I said east.
James: I don't give a shit what you said. I don't work for you.
Shea: They won't make it. The country's too rough. No water. There's bandits in every canyon, and there ain't no wall around that reservation, neither.
James: I ain't asking your permission, I'm telling you my decision and my decision's west.
[reins and rides upbank]

Wade: [Eyeing the sign over the Double Deuce] The Double Douche!

Shea: That's too many to face.
- If we can get to the mountains, we can lose 'em in the timber.
- Can't run.
- My family's out there.
- Let's hope they made it to the fort.
- I don't hope. I gotta know.

Sergeant: Can't take no pictures lying down there, sonny. Down, right there.
Joseph: I'm a noncombatant, sir.
Sergeant: Ain't no such thing today, boy.

Maggie: [giving Beau a salad] Here you go.
Beau: What the hell is this?
Maggie: Your dinner.
Beau: This is *not* my dinner. This is what I *feed* my dinner.

Avery: [sees Boyd Crowder arrive to collect the $100,000 reward] You've got to be joking me.
Raylan: What's important is not who gets the reward.
Avery: It's not unimportant.

Gen. Buford: There's an old Indian saying: "Follow the cigar smoke, find the fat man there."

Shea: None of you have firearms?
Josef: Do we need them?
Shea: [laughs] Do you need them?

Doc: Is this the part where you tell me what a great guy your friend is?
Wade: Not hardly. This is the part where I tell you I want you for myself.
Doc: [laughs]
Dalton: Oh, yo. Whatever he's saying, you can be fairly sure it's a lie.
Wade: [giving Dalton a look and her a longer look] Don't bet on it.

Carrie: Who is that guy?
Cody,: Ladies and gentlemen... Wade Garrett.
Hank: Holy shit!
Wade: Exactly right.

Shea: You got any other family here?
Noemi: [shakes her head] You are married?
Shea: [shakes his head emphatically] No.
Noemi: I can be a wife for you.
Shea: I don't want a wife.
Noemi: My boys are good boys and I can be a good wife. I can be a good wife.
Shea: Stop.
Noemi: [reaches into Shea's pants] Please don't go.
Shea: [pushes Noemi away] Quit. I don't want a wife. I'll help you. I'll help you with your horses. I can help you set your camp. With your boys... I had a wife, and I ain't looking for another one. You understand?
[...]
Thomas: [Thomas returns with the two horses, freshly watered] What happened to her?
Shea: She wants to marry me.
Thomas: Guessing you said no... or you said yes and she already regrets it.
Shea: No time for jokes, Thomas. She's having a hard time of it.
Thomas: Hard times is the only kind out here, Captain. Laughing through 'em is how you get through 'em... and I ain't joking, she's lucky as hell she ain't marrying your sour ass.
Thomas: [Shea chuckles] See how I did that? A joke on top of a joke.
Shea: [dryly] Yeah. Real funny.
[Shea turns and walks away]

[dealer, with spike maul in hand, approaches Shea]
Shea: [draws cocked pistol and points it in the dealer's face and rises] You know what I'm doing here? Looking for a reason. You want to be my reason?
Dealer: No, I do not.
Shea: [emphatically] Then sit the fuck down.

Wade: I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead.

Beau: Global Warming was invented by Al Gore to sell books.

Shea: These people, they never been allowed to think for themselves. Now, they can hardly think at all.

- Hold on.
Shea: Hold him! Hold him!

- They're back early.
Shea: Who are they?
- A stroke of luck there, captain.

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: I think you oughta get yourself an M-16.
Sergeant: Sir, if the time comes I need one, there'll be plenty lying on the ground.

[Moore and Plumley are looking on at the NVA headquarters]
Sergeant: You want to know how Custer felt? Why don't you ask him?

Sergeant: If any of you sons of bitches calls me grandpa, I'll kill you.

Thomas: [Shea And Thomas pass James and John heading in opposite directions] Ain't much of a team player.
Shea: Yeah, but he's capable.
Thomas: I don't like him questioning us.
Shea: Not much we can do about it. He ain't on the payroll.
Thomas: Yeah. When there's two leaders there ain't no leader. Know what I'm mean? Need to figure that out.

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: They attack us; no casualties. They run and hide in the mountains. Naturally we chase them, of course. Smell like an ambush to you?
Sergeant: If they're trying to get us close enough to kill, I rekon we'll be close enough to kill them.

- Hyuleyup!
Shea: Ya! Hyupl
- Hyuleyup!

Thomas: [speculatively] Maybe you should have just shot 'em.
Shea: [assuredly] I absolutely should have shot 'em.

Shea: It shocks me, Thomas, that they haven't quit yet.
Thomas: I don't know why them folks'd want to go home. Their home sound like hell.
Shea: 'Cuz it's the hell they know. Most terrifyin' thing on this planet is the unknown.
Thomas: That's 'cuz you ain't never been whipped, Captain. Let someone put a whip to your back, tell me the unknown is what scares you. These folks ain't never goin' home.

Thomas: [Thomas walks up, stops 10-15 feet short behind Shea who is sitting in the grass with a cocked pistol barrel pointed up, pressed against his chin] Captain.
Shea: Yeah.
Thomas: We're ready.
[pauses looking over his shoulder]
Thomas: You coming?
Shea: [voice quavers] I'm thinking about it.
Thomas: [stoically] Think on it quick. If I'm digging a hole, I'd rather do it before the sun's high.
Shea: [sighs, pulls pistol away, resets hammer and holsters pistol] I'm coming.
[rises and follows Thomas]

Sergeant: Seen the new rifles too, the M-16.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: That's supposed to be a pretty good weapon.
Sergeant: Ahh, lotsa plastic. Feels like a BB gun to me. Believe I'm gonna stick with my pistol.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: Think we're gonna get close enough to the enemy to use that?
Sergeant: What do you think, sir?

Shea: What else?
Thomas: Water.
Shea: [addressing immigrants] Do not drink water from the ground. When we camp, we will choose a latrine away from our water source.
Josef: What is a latrine?
Shea: Powder room.
[Josef is perplexed]
Shea: Water closet. Thomas, help me.
Thomas: Toilette.
Josef: Aaahh.
Shea: What in the hell is a toilette?
Thomas: It's French for shitter.
Shea: When did you learn French?
Thomas: I don't know French, I just know the French word for shitter.
Shea: How do you know the French word for shitter?
Thomas: [defensively] I used to fuck a girl from France!
Shea: Fine. That's all you had to say. Don't have to get angry about it.

Beau: [yelling from outside] WHO IN THE HELL PARKED THIS CHEVY IN MY DRIVEWAY?

[Buford's cavalry has sighted the Confederate army on the evening of June 30]
Gen. Buford: You know what's gonna happen here in the morning?
Col. Thomas C. Devin: Sir?
Gen. Buford: Whole damn Reb army's gonna be here. They'll move through this town, occupy these hills on the other side, and when our people get here Lee'll have the high ground, and there'll be the devil to pay! The high ground! Meade'll come in slowly, cautiously, new to command. They'll be on his back from Washington. Wires hot with messages. "Attack! Attack!" So he will set up a ring around these hills. And when Lee's army is all nicely entrenched behind fat rocks on the high ground, Meade'll finally attack, if he can coordinate the army. Straight up the hillside, out in the open, in that gorgeous field of fire. We will charge valiantly... and be butchered valiantly! And afterwards, men in tall hats and gold watch fobs will thump their chests and say what a brave charge it was.
[he takes off his hat and rubs his head in resignation]
Gen. Buford: Devin, I've led a soldier's life, and I've never seen anything as brutally clear as this. It's as if I can actually see the blue troops in one long, bloody moment, goin' up the long slope to the stony top. As if it were already done... already a memory. An odd... set... stony quality to it. As if tomorrow has already happened and there's nothin' you can do about it. The way you sometimes feel before an ill-considered attack, knowin' it'll fail, but you cannot stop it. You must even take part, and help it fail.
Col. Thomas C. Devin: Sir.
Gen. Buford: We have twenty-five hundred men. They'll be comin' in force. There'll be twenty thousand comin' down that road in the morning. If we hold this ridge for a couple hours, we can keep 'em away. If we can block that road 'til the main body gets here, we can deprive the enemy of the high ground!
Col. Thomas C. Devin: Well, the boys are ready for a brawl, no doubt of that.
Gen. Buford: We can force the Rebs to deploy. That's a narrow road they'll be comin' down. We stack 'em up, it'll take 'em a while to get on track, to get into position. Is Calef's battery up yet?
Col. Thomas C. Devin: Sir, his six guns are deploying forward now.
[Buford turns to his officers]
Gen. Buford: How far back is Reynolds with the main force?
Cavalry: About ten miles, sir. Not much more.
[Gamble and his aide gallop up at full speed]
Col. William Gamble: Sir, you were right. My scouts report the Reb army is comin' this way, and that's for sure. They're all concentratin' in this direction.
[Buford sighs and looks in the direction of the Confederates' approach]
Gen. Buford: We're gonna hold here in the morning. Long enough for Reynolds and the infantry to arrive. We hang onto the high ground, we have a chance to win this fight that's comin'. Understood?
Officers: Yes, sir.
Gen. Buford: Post the cannon along this road, the Chambersburg Pike. The Rebs'll hit us at dawn, but I think we can hold 'em for at least two hours.
Col. Thomas C. Devin: Hell, General, we can hold 'em all the damn livelong day.
[the officers chorus in agreement]
Col. Thomas C. Devin: At Thoroughfare Gap, you held against Longstreet. You held for six hours.
Col. William Gamble: And they never came. We held for nothin'.
[Buford turns back to face the battlefield again]
Gen. Buford: Rebs'll hit us just about first light. Keep a clear eye! Let's have the pickets give us a good warning. All right, gentlemen. Let's get posted.

Beau: What're our options?
[Dale doesn't answer again]
Beau: For the love of God! What are our options, you old coot?
Dale: Our options are that you adopt a civil tone with me or I'm leaving!
Beau: You're right. I'm sorry.
[softly]
Beau: Jackass.
Dale: Jackass?
Beau: Oh, *that* you can hear!

Shea: I want to see it one last time, before it's settled... Before it's ruined.
Thomas: After you see it, then what?
Shea: Then I don't care. The world can open up and eat me.

Shea: There's a big oak, bent over like an old woman. Big boulder up against the trunk. Looks like it's cryin' over a grave. We'll meet you there.

Colonel: Last night, the enemy hit our Special Forces camp here at Plei Me.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: How many casualties did we sustain?
Colonel: None. The enemy forces withdrew here towards this mountain, Chu Pong, that sits right on the Cambodian border. How many men do you have battle ready at your disposal give or take?
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [to Plumley] Sergeant Major?
Sergeant: 395 sir... exactly.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [to Colonel Brown] What do you estimate the enemy strength is?
Sergeant: We appraise their numbers as manageable.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: [grim tone] You mean... you have no idea?
Colonel: No, sir. We have no idea. But we have our orders. Simple orders from High Command: find the enemy and kill him. Nothing more.

Doug: You saw what happened. There isn't anyone who would believe that wasn't you out there.
Mayor: It's a frame. The whole thing's a frame.
Paris: Who would ever believe it?
Mayor: You've been shot.
Paris: Just a scratch. You've got one too.

John: How long will Kohler stay black?
Doug: About a week. After which, both he and Maxfield will probably turn very red.

Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: I wonder what was going through Custer's mind when he realized that he'd led his men into a slaughter?
Sergeant: Sir, Custer was a pussy. You ain't.

Maj. Gen. John F. Reynolds: What goes, John?
Gen. Buford: There's the Devil to pay.

Wade: You got a skinny little runt named Dalton working here?

Wade: What's the matter? Still living in the past, aren't ya? We're a long way from Memphis.
Dalton: Memphis has nothing to do with it.
Wade: BULLSHIT. That dog won't hunt. I can't believe you're still draggin' that shit around with ya. It seems to me, you'd be a little more... philosophical about it. AND CUT IT THE FUCK LOOSE. You know, that fucking cu-... that *girl* never told you she was married. DID SHE? And when a man sticks a gun in yer face, you got two choices; you can die or you can KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER.

[Galloway is on the ground]
Sergeant: You can't take any pictures from down there, sonny.
[Galloway gets up and is handed a rifle]
Joseph: I'm a non-combatant.
Sergeant: Ain't no such thing today.

[first lines]
Beau: Rooster, you home?
Jameson: Yes, sir. Living room!
Beau: I thought you were gonna take a look at that tractor and try and see what was...
Jameson: [jumping up] Check it out. Colt's home.
Beau: What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were up in Canada playing amateur's football.
Colt: Uh, semi-pro. Yeah, I was playing for the Saskatoon Cold. It's like the Miami Heat, except you know, cold.

Mountain: You wanna fight, dickless?
Wade: Well, I sure ain't gonna show you my dick.

Thomas: Captain... Shea. These folks here gots to trust us. If they don't trust us they won't follow us...
Shea: [interrupts] Trust us? They can't even trust each other.
Thomas: It's a bad way to start the trip.
Shea: The trip's already started... it's been bad from the beginning.
Thomas: You having second thoughts?
Shea: You're gonna tell me you ain't?
Thomas: Yeah, I'm having 'em... but... I figure maybe if... one of their kids has a kid and that kid does something... something that... the world's better 'cause that kid's in it. Know what I mean?
Shea: World ain't getting better, Thomas, no matter how many kids are in it.
[...]
Shea: [after a time of introspection] My daughter was one of those kids who could've made the world better.
Thomas: Yes, she was.
Shea: [determined] We're doing this for the same reasons, Thomas.

Wade: This place has a sign hangin' over the urinal that says, "Don't eat the big white mint".

Beau: So, what's going on with the calf, Dale?
[Dale doesn't reply]
Beau: Damn it, Dale, I said, *what's going on with the calf?*
Dale: Why are you shouting at me?
Beau: Because you need a hearing aid, old man!
Dale: I do *not* need a hearing aid. You need to stop mumbling, Grandpa.
Beau: I don't mumble! Telling me I mumble...
[mumbles indistinctly]

Wade: That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.

[after Ouellette takes a NVA prisoner just after landing in Ia Drang, the prisoner talks in Vietnamese to Moore and the rest of the solders]
Mr. Nik: [translating] He say he deserter.
Sergeant: Bullshit, he's a lookout.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: Ask him where his friends are.
[Mr. Nik asks the prisoner in Vietnamese and the North Vietnamese lookout responds in Vietnamese]
Mr. Nik: He say this is basecamp for whole division. 4,000 men.
Lt. Colonel Hal Moore: Where?
[Mr. Nik firmly asks the prisoner in Vietnamese who responds by speaking Vietnamese and points to the nearby Chu Pong Massif]
Mr. Nik: [still translating] That mountain. He say, it's same army that destroyed French. They want to kill Americans very badly... but they have not been able to find any yet.

Maj. Gen. John F. Reynolds: [Has just arrived to reinforce Buford, surveying battlefield] Lovely ground.
Gen. Buford: I thought so, Sir.
Maj. Gen. John F. Reynolds: Now, let's go surprise Harry Heth.