The Best Wade Garrett Quotes

Wade: This place has a sign hangin' over the urinal that says, "Don't eat the big white mint".

Wade: I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead.

Doc: Is this the part where you tell me what a great guy your friend is?
Wade: Not hardly. This is the part where I tell you I want you for myself.
Doc: [laughs]
Dalton: Oh, yo. Whatever he's saying, you can be fairly sure it's a lie.
Wade: [giving Dalton a look and her a longer look] Don't bet on it.

Wade: [Eyeing the sign over the Double Deuce] The Double Douche!

Mountain: You wanna fight, dickless?
Wade: Well, I sure ain't gonna show you my dick.

Carrie: Who is that guy?
Cody,: Ladies and gentlemen... Wade Garrett.
Hank: Holy shit!
Wade: Exactly right.

Wade: You got a skinny little runt named Dalton working here?

Wade: That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.

Wade: What's the matter? Still living in the past, aren't ya? We're a long way from Memphis.
Dalton: Memphis has nothing to do with it.
Wade: BULLSHIT. That dog won't hunt. I can't believe you're still draggin' that shit around with ya. It seems to me, you'd be a little more... philosophical about it. AND CUT IT THE FUCK LOOSE. You know, that fucking cu-... that *girl* never told you she was married. DID SHE? And when a man sticks a gun in yer face, you got two choices; you can die or you can KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER.