The Best Sam Lindsey Quotes

Floyd: You know how we always do a pageant showing the founding of Mayberry? Well, how 'bout WITH that we also have a... beauty pageant?
Sam: Beauty pageant. You mean with girls?
Andy: Uh, well they help.

Sam: There he is. There's the weak-kneed, chicken-livered, yella-streak turncoat.
Barney: Now look, Sam. You got something to say, say it.