Top 50 Quotes From Scrooge McDuck

Scrooge: Gyro, it's time. Unleash the Unstoppabomb!
Gyro: The Moonlanders... uh... already found that and stopped it.
Scrooge: What? Uh... alright then. Activate the Doomsday Ray!
Gyro: That was like the first thing they took out.
Scrooge: Ok... I swore I'd never have to initiate our worst weapon...
Gyro: And you never will, because they destroyed that too. This was a very well planned invasion.

[last lines, during a flashback montage, it is shown how Scrooge attempted to find Della, as his money bin decreased until the search was called off ultimately]
Louie: [voiceover] You're the richest duck in the world! Why didn't you send up more ships to look for her?
Huey: [voiceover] Then you encouraged her to keep flying through a cosmic storm? You could've called her down! There were too many variables!
Dewey: [voiceover] So you're the reason our mom is gone. Cheap old Scrooge probably bailed as soon as it put a dent in his money bin!
Mrs. Beakley: [voiceover] Well, you've successfully pushed your family and everyone who cared about you away... again. I hope you're happy.
Scrooge: [all alone and in tears] I am...

Louie: OK, being grounded forever isn't so bad. I've got my phone, my phone is also a TV, which is nice.
[He turns the phone on only to find Della on the screen]
Della: [video screen] Hi, Louie! You're super grounded, so I blocked your phone signal and replaced all your videos with this lecture on ethics!
Louie: Way ahead of you!
[grabs Huey's Waddle pad]
Louie: Thank you, Huey.
Della: Nice try. The dictionary defines grounding as...
Louie: Oh, man.
[throws pad away]
Scrooge: Hurry up, kids! Adventure calls, and I've got a bet to win!
[Louie peeks through the window. Outside the manor, everyone is getting ready to go on an adventure]
Louie: Well, at least I can skip out on another insanely dangerous adventure- wait. Hobo bindles? Cans of beans? A CAREFREE ATTITUDE? They are NOT!
Huey: Uncle Scrooge, your bet with Glomgold is over in two days. You clearly have more money than he does. Doesn't this seem, I dunno, mean?
Scrooge: I didn't come this far by not hunting for treasure, so to guarantee my victory we are going after the Hobo King's Ruby Bindle.
Dewey: We're going where there's Cherry Pep springs and the conman sings?
Scrooge: Where the gold geyser spews cash just for youse!
Della: Where all of your laziest, schemiest dreams come true!
Louie: You're heading to Big Rock Candy Mountain? Oh, I am going.
Della: No, you are still grounded.
Louie: What? No, WHAT?
Scrooge: Err, come on kids, let's finish packing.
Louie: Big Rock Candy Mountain is the laziest quest of all time! It's my dream.
Della: Your last "dream" made you take treasure from the past, which almost destroyed time, space, and your family! Now, to your room! You can come out when you learn that no good ever came from cockamamie schemes.

Donald: I KNEW IT! I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU WITH THE BOYS!
Scrooge: Not the time, Donald!
Donald: Crazy old man! All you care about is your next adventure! This is the Spear of Selene all over again!
Scrooge: I was NOT responsible for the Spear of Selene!

Scrooge: Oh I'm so mad I can't even alliterate!

Scrooge: I'm back!

Scrooge: Gyro! Find that Time Tub!
Gyro: On it!
Gyro: [time lightning whisks Gyro away] I've immediately failed you!

Mrs. Beakley: Mr. McDuck...!
Scrooge: Kids...!
Louie: Mrs. Beakley!
[beat]
Louie: Sorry, I just thought I could keep the blame circle going.

Donald: Move over! This is a ship. I am a sailor.
Della: This is a rocket ship, genius! I'm a pilot!
Scrooge: [Fondly remembering how Donald and Della used to bicker on their old adventures] Oh, bless me bagpipes, have I missed this.

Dewey: [using a toy dart gun] Take that!
Scrooge: Dewey!... Don't yell at your target *before* you fire, you'll lose the element of surprise.

Goldie: Oh Scroogie. Why do you suppose I came all the way out here?
Scrooge: To, uh, get one over on me?
Goldie: Well, that, but also I wanted to see you again.
Scrooge: Um.
[blushes]
Scrooge: It's good to see you too.

Scrooge: Way to despell your own spell, De Spell!

Dewey: Who's the Cyborg?
Huey: Is that?
Louie: No, it can't be.
Webbigail: Guys, I think that's your mom.
Scrooge: Huey, Dewey, Louie... meet Della Duck.
Dewey: Ya! I'M PART ROBOT, I KNEW IT!
[Runs into Della's arms]

Scrooge: [after being brought back from the parallel universe where "Catch as Cash Can" happened] A sea monster did *not* eat my ice cream.
Huey: What happened?
Louie: What does quackeroonie even mean?
Dewey: Why were our heads so round?

Scrooge: Alright, true explorers. Now this mountain is gonna throw everything she's got at us.
Louie: But it'll be worth it when we find the treasure of Mt. Neverrest!
Scrooge: There is no treasure of Mt. Neverrest.
Louie: [beat] Nope. Louie out. Already gone. Have fun!

Scrooge: [catches Louie attempting to dive into the money pit] Are you out of your head? You'll crack your skull open!
Louie: But you swim in money all the time!
Scrooge: Yes, but I worked hard to perfect that skill, building muscles and dexterity. If you want something, you work hard to get it.

Huey: Breathe, just breathe.
Donald: I've done nothing with my life! I'm a failure!
Scrooge: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Louie: I am so, so sorry!
Mrs. Beakley: [annoyed] This will be good.
Louie: I thought I had a foolproof get-rich-quick plan, but it turns out I was the fool. Can you guys ever forgive me?
Mrs. Beakley: [sigh] Okay.
Webbigail: Oh, you know we can. We always do.
Dewey: You know it's fine, classic Louie!
Huey: Of course, bring it in.
[Everyone but Della forms a group hug around Louie]
Scrooge: I'm sure you learned... something.
Della: No. Not this time.
Louie: What? But I really am sorry! We hugged and everything!
Della: I watched your brothers blink out of existence because you wanted a shortcut to riches!
Louie: I said I was sorry!
Della: You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences, or the people you would hurt!
Louie: [annoyed] ... I wonder who I got that from.
[everyone gasps]
Launchpad: Oh...
Mrs. Beakley: See here, young man!
Della: Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future, this all stops now! You are grounded! No schemes, no treasures, and Louie Incorporated is *done*, understand?
Louie: [desperate] Look, let me clean up, okay? Uncle Scrooge? Mrs. B? Come on!
Della: To your room!

Della: And... NOW I'm done. Thanks...
[Gasps while the camera moves to show Mrs. Beakley]
Della: Agent 22? You're the housekeeper now? Where's Duckworth?
Mrs. Beakley: He's moved on.
[Moves to take the plates to be washed but stops for a moment]
Mrs. Beakley: Though sadly not far enough.
Duckworth: [Duckworth phases into the dining table and spreads his hands] The underworld has fewer cobwebs to tend to.
[Beakley hurls a plate at her predecessor, but it goes right through and shatters against the wall. Duckworth moves his eyes, then bows and leaves. Cut back to Scrooge and Della]
Scrooge: You've been gone awhile, lass. A lot has changed.

Scrooge: I'm trying to save your life! Now come back here, or I will end it, young man!

Bradford: As a "chronicler of the unknown" for the junior woodchucks, my grandmother dragged me on countless so-called "adventures".
Scrooge: Isabella Finch? Your grandmother?
Bradford: Please hold all startled utterances of disbelief for the end.
[clears throat]
Bradford: Grammy Finch claimed these dangerous excursions were "fun" and "educational". Well I did learn one thing: The world is full of chaos, and it's only getting worse. I analyzed these trends. And found that in times of adventure, finances are thrown into a tizzy, and the world becomes increasingly unpredictable. So I dedicated my life to containing that chaos. First at S.H.U.S.H., then F.O.W.L., even as your CEO. Just in the past 30 years, we've seen hyper intelligent rodents, caped crusaders, flying bears, bouncing bears, living statues, and a veritable troop of goofs, misfits and adventurers. And all these events over the past century have one man in common. Who... Could... It... Be? I tried to rein you in. Isolate you, But your adventures just kept getting bigger, as did your family. Children belong in school halls and shopping malls, not gallivanting around the globe! After decades, I realized can't stop you. But I can make a deal with you. After all, I'm a businessman. Not a villain.
Scrooge: You're also not much of a junior woodchuck. These knots were terrible!
Bradford: [transforms into armor] Now, on to new business.

Scrooge: Used to be a big deal? I'm Scrooge McDuck! I made my name being tougher than toughies and smarter than the smarties.
Dewey: Sure, if you want to do it the easy way.

Donald: [Della stares at Donald wearing his classic blue sailor outfit] What?... It's a classic!
Della: And the cheapest thing on the rack. Don, I know you've earned a relaxing trip around the world, but won't you miss all this? Don't you wish we could go on one last adventure?
Donald: Nope. Nothing will stop me from going on this vacation.
Dewey: The clones are gone, they busted out!
Louie: Webby is missing! Maybe kidnapped or worse!
[Donald rolls up the window on the boys. Louie drops Scrooge on the hood]
Louie: I found Uncle Scrooge knocked out!
Scrooge: Beakley went rogue
Donald: Did you put them up to this?
Della: I didn't put them up to anything! I swear this is an actual crisis!
Dewey: Huey is also missing!
Della: What?
Louie: We think he was taken by F.O.W.L.!
Donald: Okay, this isn't funny.
Della: How do you know Huey's gone?
Dewey: [Pulls out Huey's Woodchuck guidebook] He left this! Huey never leaves without it!
Donald: [Donald steps out of the car and rips off his tie] To adventure!

Scrooge: Please, I... I can't keep you safe, all right? How can I get you to listen to me?
[beat]
Dewey: Tell me about the Spear of Selene.
[Scrooge takes Dewey's hand and puts him back on the plane as the whole family gathers around to hear Scrooge's story]
Scrooge: [sighs] It was just before you were hatched. Your mother, your Uncle Donald, and I have been going on amazing adventures for years. And things were grand. Except, we've been just about everywhere. Ever the aviator, your mother devised a plan to explore the greatest uncharted territory of all: outer space! Della had already been all over the earth, and she wanted to give you boys the stars. Donald thought it was too risky. Especially with you three on the way. So I did the only logical thing: I built the rocket and didn't tell Donald or anyone. It was meant to be a surprise for Della to celebrate your birth. But your mother was always good at sniffing out surprises. She found the rocket and decided to go for a little test run in orbit. Neither of us could've predicted that cosmic storm. But we both knew a little pan-galactic precipitation wouldn't stop her. After all, she was Della Duck! Curse me kilts, was that girl stubborn! I tried to talk her through it, but if anyone could make it, it was her! Until that very last bolt. I couldn't keep her safe. The rocket and your mother were lost to the inky abyss of space. Your uncle Donald and I never spoke again. Until you three showed up on my doorstep.

Scrooge: Wake up, kids! What are you lot still doing asleep? It's almost 6:00 AM! Go get some jobs!

Dewey: [after learning the truth about Della's disappearance; bitterly] Cool, so you're the reason our mom is gone!
Scrooge: [stammers] What? No! I... I...
[the Sunchaser starts to tip]
Launchpad: Um, guys?
Dewey: You built her a crazy dangerous super rocket!
Scrooge: Which she stole early!
Huey: Then you encouraged her to keep flying in a cosmic storm? You could have called her down! There were too many variables!
Mrs. Beakley: Now boys, you don't know...
Louie: And you're the richest duck in the world! Why didn't you send up more ships to look for her?
Scrooge: I spared no expense!
Dewey: [coldly] Yeah, right. Cheap old Scrooge probably bailed as soon as it put a dent in his money bin.
[the Sunchaser teeters some more]
Launchpad: Um, guys?
Webby: Take it easy, Dewey. He may have a point. Even if gifting an experimental rocket to a mother of three was clearly a terrible idea!
Scrooge: This is a family matter! You are not family!
[Webby stares at him, on the verge of tears]
Mrs. Beakley: [defensively] See here, McDuck. You will not speak to my granddaughter that way.
Scrooge: You will not speak to ME that way! None of you! After everything I do for you, you're all nothing but trouble!
Launchpad: Guys! This is your captain speaking, we are FALLING!
Dewey: WAIT WHAT?
[the Sunchaser falls as everyone screams. The fall isn't too high and the aeroplane survives]
Launchpad: Huh, that was weird.
[crashes into a canyon wall]
Launchpad: Phew, there we go!

Lunaris: [after Launckpad crashes into the Moonlander's Rocket] What? No!
Scrooge: You were prepared for our best, but not are dumbest.
Flintheart: And I'm the dumbest there has ever been
[laughs maniacally]
Flintheart: [realizing what Scrooge meant] Wait?

Louie: But it takes money to make money, right? I just need a tiny little bit, and I'll get out of your hair.
Scrooge: [frowns, takes out his wallet] All right, lad. How much do you need?
Louie: 2.5 billion, please.
[Scrooge snickers, and then starts laughing uncontrollably. He hands Louie 25 cents]

Scrooge: Webby, we need to keep him busy while you boys track it down. Do you think you could come up with some phony quest or trials to occupy him--are you crying?
Webby: This is my moment...

Scrooge: Where are those feckless flower children when you need them?

[At Donald's birthday, his candle goes berserk and tries to kill him]
Scrooge: It's a Promethean candle, guaranteed never to go out!
[gets stares]
Scrooge: Did you expect me to buy a new candle for *every* birthday? Do you have any idea what that would cost, at my age?

Huey: In all this time fixing the room, have you noticed it only has three walls?
Scrooge: Don't be daft, lad. Of course there's a fourth wall!
Huey: Ohhh, really? Have you actually looked at it?
[Their eyes widen, as they slowly look to where the fourth wall should be]

Dewey: You have a movie studio that could fulfill a starry-eyed boy's cinematic dreams. Why didn't you tell me?
Scrooge: To avoid this exact conversation.
Dewey: Okay, yeah, no, I can see that.

Scrooge: IT'S YOU! IT'S REALLY YOU! OH, I CANNAE BELIEVE IT!
[Scrooge steps back]
Scrooge: Oh, look at ya'! Oh, standing here! Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, I thought you were...
Della: [Cuts Scrooge off] Dead? Not yet!
Scrooge: Where?
Della: The Moon!
Scrooge: [Worried] On the Moon?
[Cross]
Scrooge: I searched the Moon!
Della: Not hard enough! There were mites and aliens and I had to rebuild the Spear with my tooth!
Scrooge: Don't raise your voice at me, you rapacious rocketeer!
Della: [laughing] I missed your Scroogeian alliteration.
Della: [as Scrooge looks at Della's prosthetic leg with a look of worry] Lost it in the crash...
Scrooge: [Scrooge looks up to Della, but then smiles at her metal leg] Out of rocket parts! Brilliant! Leg or no, you're every bit the woman you're were 10 years ago.
Della: [Getting through] Out of my way, old man.
[Della looks inside]
Della: Where are my...
[Gasps as she sees the kids]

Scrooge: [Yelling at bird] Do you mind? I'm speechifying!

Huey: Could we have a pit stop? I'd use the bathroom, but it's occupied...
[a squid pops out of the toilet]
Scrooge: We're in the ocean, there are no pit stops!

[Webby and Scrooge find the kitchen in shambles]
Scrooge: Great sacks of delirium!
Webby: Maybe Donald tried to make an omelet again?
Scrooge: Impossible. He still hasn't figured out how to get out of the pantry.
Donald: [sputtering angrily from the pantry] WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA?

Scrooge: What have you got there?
Dewey: [nervously] Not... secrets!
Huey: Literally the worst answer you could've given.

Scrooge: [on the phone with Donald Duck] I founded a multi-trillion-dollar business, I can handle a few juveniles for a the weekend. Besides, we've got a pretty low key day planned...
[Scrooge has taken the kids on a submarine to look for Atlantis]

Flintheart: I did it, I defeated Scrooge McDuck.
Scrooge: We were on the same team!

Scrooge: Something is terribly wrong.
[Scrooge begins walking through the Mansion. Grunting is heard and Scrooge opens a door to find Webby, Lena, and Violet fighting a werewolf]
Scrooge: No. That's not it.
[closes door]
Dewey: [Scrooge walks down the stairs hears faint wind noises and opens the door to the kitchen. Inside, Beakley and Dewey are caught in a windstorm stemming from a teapot] WOAH!
Scrooge: Tempest in a teapot. Pesky, but manageable.
[closes door]
Huey: [Scrooge approaches another door. In the living room, Della and Huey are dressed in fantasy game costumes in preparation for a game. On the projection screen is a loading screen for Legends of Legend Quest Dereznaroth] A prophesied hero has arrived. A hero who is- You! Rise, Legends of Legend Quest!
Scrooge: I mean, this is very wrong, but it's not this either. I've checked the whole blasted mansion. What could it be?
[Returns to his office]
Goldie: [Scrooge's eyes widen as he sees his chair turned away, the person sitting in it is flipping a coin into the air. Goldie swivels around to face him] Morning, Scroogie.
Scrooge: Goldie? What are you doing here?
Louie: She's with me.

Louie: [to Scrooge, who is taking too long to grab a golden idol] Just grab it already!
Scrooge: [frustrated] The Idol of Cibola is not a trinket to be unceremoniously swindled! Legend has it...
Louie: [interrupts] Can we just wrap up the "Whoa!" and get to the "Wait, what?" already?
[a confused Scrooge shrugs]
Louie: Whoa! Some cool hidden city or treasure or whatever. Wait, what? That cool thing is dangerous or cursed or guarded by centaurs?
[screams]
Louie: Louie almost dies! Can we please move it along? That's how it goes.
Scrooge: Adventure is an unpredictable paramore. You've got to judge every angle. No two perilous scenarios are alike.
Dewey: [sees the idol up close] Whoa!
[Scrooge looks over at Louie, who raises one finger as if to say, "One." Dewey lifts up the idol and its stand starts to sink]
Dewey: Wait, what?
[Louie holds up another finger as if to say, "Two."]
Scrooge: [nervously] Well, that doesn't mean...
[He's interrupted when the building starts to shake. The scene then cuts to the ducks running away from a giant stone disk and screaming]

Scrooge: [opens front door] GAME NIGHT!
Scrooge: [opens window to Donald's houseboat] GAME NIGHT!
Scrooge: [pops up next to a birdbath] GAME NIGHT!
Scrooge: [runs through the living room holding a pile of board games] GAAME NIIGHT!

Scrooge: You loved gold more than you loved me.
Goldie: And that's why you loved me.

Donald: Aww, phooey.
Scrooge: Curse me kilts!
Della: Back on the Moon...
Dewey: That's how we Dewey things!
Louie: Yuh boy...
Mrs. Beakley: I'm not a spy!
Huey: Everyone stop catchphrasing!
Mrs. Beakley: Wait, is "I'm not a spy" seriously my catchphrase?

Scrooge: There are Spanish freedom fighters on the roof!
Mrs. Beakley: Are you certain?
fighters: Vive la revolution!
Scrooge: Oh, no. They may be French.

Scrooge: You kids are nothing but trouble! Curse me kilts, have I missed trouble! I suppose I'll have to keep an eye on you to teach you how to get into trouble, properly!

Scrooge: Make a list: four oxygen tanks, two pressure gauges, a pilot...
Launchpad: I'm a pilot!
Scrooge: ...a week's provisions, an experimental deep-sea sub...
Launchpad: I'm a pilot!
Mrs. Beakley: And one secretary for an old man who seems to have forgotten that I am NOT his secretary!

Della: I missed you, girl. The Cloudslayer flies again!
Dewey: Cloudslayer? That is way better than the Sunchaser!
[Della twirls the plane around as she cheers]
Dewey: Why would Huey and Louie wanna miss this?
Scrooge: [Scrooge is falling after losing balance from all the twirling until he finally gets back on his feet and holds back a possible regurgitation] I think I may have some idea.

Jim: [threatening Darkwing with a Chainsaw] Show's over Deadmeat Duck!
Launchpad: Stop! You're not a villain, you're a hero! *Our* hero! No matter how hopeless things got, Darkwing Duck got back up and did what was right. For Darkwing Duck is bigger than one man, he is the hope that flaps in the night!
Scrooge: The may be the most eloquent Launchpad has ever been.
Dewey: He knows a lot about this one thing.