The Best Tommy Elliot Quotes

Tommy: Get out of my cell.
Alice: But yours is so much roomier than mine, and there's going to be a vacancy when they strap you to the electric chair for murdering Lucius Fox.
Tommy: Oh, but, Alice, haven't you heard? I'm crazy! 100% unfit to stand trial.
Alice: Mmm.
Dr. Butler: Not anymore, I'm afraid. I got a call this morning from a judge asking my opinion in regards to your fitness to stand trial. As Arkham's chief medical officer, I could hardly lie, so the Crows will be here soon to collect you.
Alice: But we can help you.
Tommy: Why... would you help me?
Alice: Because you're gonna help us.

Alice: Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but he was an egg and never should have been sitting on that wall in the first place, and honestly, what were a bunch of horses gonna do?
Tommy: W-W-When do I get my face?
Alice: As soon as I get that journal. And it's not just a face, Tommy. It's a whole new you.

Alice: I couldn't help but listen in to your little visit with Kate Kane, because when my sister wants something, I want it more. What's so special about the dearly departed Lucius Fox's journal, just between us bad guys?
Tommy: I'm sorry. Are you two working together? What's going on here?
Dr. Butler: You can answer the question voluntarily, or we will extract it.
Tommy: Heh. Supposedly, it's a failsafe to kill the Bat if the suit ever got into the wrong hands.
Alice: Why's Bruce Wayne's R&D guy telling dear diary about that?
Tommy: [as if it's obvious] Because Bruce Wayne's Batman.

Kate: How do you know who he is?
Tommy: You mean Batman?
[Feigning surprise]
Tommy: Oops! Did I say that out loud?
Kate: How do you know that?
Tommy: Oh, because a few months ago, I paid a man to riddle me the answer. Gotta love the honorable Bruce Wayne for designing a fail-safe so he could never become too powerful in a super-suit. Such a great guy.
Kate: He's your best friend.
Tommy: Yeah, he was. The bestest. Nothing could be average with Bruce. Even had to have more dead parents than me.
Kate: Because he saved your mom's life?
Tommy: Oh, yeah. No, I am aware. Thanks to him, instead of collecting my inheritance, I was left wiping the spittle off of a jabbering madwoman's lips for 13 years.
Kate: You wanted him dead, why wait until he's in a bulletproof suit?
Tommy: Because Bruce didn't ruin my life. Batman did. Do you know what it's like to have the villain of your story be the hero of your city? He is a monster who left me anchored to a repulsive, gold-digging bitch, and now he's gonna die.

Johnny: How'd you know Batwoman would be coming for the journal?
Tommy: Well, I have friends in low places.
Johnny: Yeah, that I knew. The Bat's been a thorn in my bottom line for too long. Can't wait to clip her wings.
Tommy: Oh. Well, you enjoy that, buddy. Where's the journal?
Johnny: Yeah. See, here's the thing. If that book was so important that the Batbaby wanted it, I'm thinking that you undersold me on its value, so I'm gonna hang onto it.
Tommy: Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, don't be a dick.
Johnny: Tommy, your accounts are frozen, you're on ice. Can you blame me for giving you the cold shoulder? Take care of yourself, buddy.

Julia: I've had worse.
Tommy: Not yet. But you will.

Kate: Believe it or not, Tommy Boy, I'm not here for a measuring contest.
Tommy: Oh, that's too bad. Speaking of being the bigger man, have you heard from Bruce?

Dr. Butler: Give us the journal, and we will let you walk out of here.
Tommy: Really? What, just out into the street where every wanted poster will have my...
[taken aback when Alice measures his forehead with her fingers]
Tommy: ...face on it?
Alice: Not if we get you a new one.
Tommy: Oh. Tsk. This is what it's like bartering with a psychopath.
[with a nod from Alice, Butler pulls his mask off, revealing Mouse]
Alice: We can make you into anyone you want to be; real, imagined... whoever your little heart desires. So, do we have a deal?

Tommy: Visiting hours are four days a week. He's a total no-show. Is that any way to treat your best friend?
Kate: It is if you killed his actual best friend: Lucius Fox.
Tommy: [banging the glass in anger] That's an outrageous lie. Lucius was never Bruce's best friend.
Kate: Of course that would be your takeaway.
Tommy: What did Lucius Fox ever do for Bruce?
Kate: You mean besides turning Wayne R&D into the world leader in defense technology? Oh, but you already knew that. That's why you had him killed; for his journal. You wanted the keys to the candy store.

Tommy: If you can't trust your money launderer, who can you trust?