200 Best William Daniels Quotes

Dr. Craig Thomas: Don't be crass. Women of your generation think they have to be crass, or no-one would believe their strength, when you're fighting a battle that women of my generation have already fought for you. You should have the grace to appreciate their work and move on to something else.

Eric: Thanks for coming with me, Mr. Feeny. It would've been so uncool if my parents came.
George: Well, I'm just here to see that you get settled. Now, remember. Keep both your feet on the ground. This town is swimming with sharks.
Eric: Hey! Stop attacking my town. The people here are real down to earth. Real kindly folk.
[Aggressive Actress slams her golf cart into theirs]
Aggressive: Hey! Get out of my space!
Eric: Hey, there's one of them now. Hi, nice person!
Aggressive: What do I have to do? Call my attorney? Get out of my space!
[with one final shove Eric and Feeny's golf cart moves and Aggressive Actress pulls into the space]
Aggressive: Thank you!
George: You're welcome. And who might you be, little girl?
Aggressive: I'm not a little girl. I'm forty-two! I just play little girls on TV!
[She walks by and pinches Eric on the rear]
Aggressive: Hello!

[rehearsing Hamlet]
Stuart: [as Hamlet, over-emphasizing and facing upstage] Whaaaaat is heeeeee... who's grief bears such an eeeeemphasiiiiisss...
[Mr. Feeny groans]
George: Stop, Mr. Minkus.
Stuart: I answer only to 'Hamlet.'
George: Stop Mr. Hamlet! You're supposed to be facing the audience!
Stuart: Aren't I?
[he turns and almost falls off the stage before Feeny catches him]
George: Hamlet, where are your glasses?
Stuart: Mr. Feeny, they didn't have glasses in the Middle Ages.
George: Put on your glasses and climb into Ophelia's grave!
Stuart: You know, I read an article that Elizabethan English is a lot like American southern. So let me show you a little something I've been playing around with.
[Southern accent]
Stuart: Shazam! Show me what thou't do! Woo't weep? Woo't fight? Woo't tear thyself?
Cory: Oh great. "Ernest goes to Denmark."

Cory: Mr. Feeny, under my desk is a key. It opens locker 703 in a Florida station. In there is all my homework from the past 5 years. I'm actually a wonderful student. I listen and I know everything.
Mr. George Feeny: What's the capital of Montana?
[pause]
Cory: You're not going to Florida, are you?

Mr. George Feeny: [passing by] Good morning, Miss Lawrence, Mr Matthews, Mr Hunter.
[stops, then turns to Shawn]
Mr. George Feeny: If there's anything you need to talk about, my door is always open. I'm not here to judge.

Mr. George Feeny: Believe in yourselves. Dream. Try. Do good
Topanga: Don't you mean "do well"?
Mr. George Feeny: No, I mean "do good".

Torie: Did he say I gave him the answers?
George: As a matter of fact, Mr. Mathews claimed...
Torie: I can't believe you, Eric! I just tried to help you, how could you do this to me?
Eric: ...I didn't!
George: I think the question, Ms. Hart, is how could you do this to him?
Torie: I didn't think he could pass the tests.
George: Oh? Why not? You see no potential in him as a student?
Torie: I just don't think he's the student type.
George: I see, are you the teacher type? Or the type that just writes people off?
Torie: [to Eric] It doesn't mean I didn't like you.
George: But you certainly don't respect him.

Sergeant: So, fill me in on this Shawn Hunter will you, Mr. Feeny?
George: Well, I have seen Shawn overcome every obstacle that life has thrown at him and grow up to be one of the finest young men that I know.
Cory: What about me? Tell him-tell him how much you like me.
George: Shawn is a deeply sensitive and caring indivdual, and I've never seen him as happy as when he is in the company of your daughter, and I always thought that Angela felt the same way.
Sergeant: So they were real close?
Cory: Until she ran away and do you know why she ran away?
Sergeant: Yeah, I think I do.
Cory: Topanga! She's poison but don't hate her, sir. She's my problem. I love her so much but poison she is!
[Topanga comes up and glares at Cory who flashes a goofy, innocent smile. Topanga walks past him and over to the front counter. As she leaves we see Eric hiding in the glass display, waiting for his moment to strike, his nose pressed right up against the glass]
George: Under no circumstances, however, let your daughter go anywhere near him.
[Feeny indicates Eric]

Eric: What's wrong with Feeny?
Alan: On the way over, he said I look spiffy. You're making me feel weird, George.
George: You look spiff
Alan: Oh, just keep it up.

Katherine: This Jonathan Turner guy, what's the deal with him?
George: It's really not my place to comment, from one teacher to another.
Katherine: Oh, come on. He asked me out! I just wanna know if he's an axe murderer.
George: It wasn't on his resumé.

George: Mr. Matthews, no running in the halls, we are not animals.
Cory: AAA-OOOOOH!
[keeps running]

George: Well, Mr. Turner, your little experiment in democracy has left the eighth grade leaderless for next year.
Jonathan: Too bad. I was looking forward to Matthews' five day weekend.

Alan: [to Mr. Feeny] You are the worst babysitter that ever lived.
George: And your children are the spawn of Satan.

Cory: [after having been paired up with Topanga] Uh, Mr. Feeny, may I approach the bench?
George: Objection, Mr. Matthews?
Cory: Can you be swayed on this?
George: I'm Gibraltar.
Cory: Come on, Mr. Feeny. Topanga's, like, totally strange.
George: Strange is in the eye of the beholder, Mr. Matthews. I, for example, have a young neighbor who sings along with his little sister's Barney records.
Cory: You hear that?

Cory: Uh, Mr. Feeny? I got a message you wanted to see me? You have two extra tickets to Sunday's Eagles game.
Shawn: Hey, Mr. Feeny. I heard you had an academic achievement award for me?
[Cory and Shawn notice they are in the same room]
Cory: You!
[They turn to Feeny]
Cory: Sting!
George: Oh, sit down!

Cory: I am never throwing a baby shower for those broads again!
George: A baby shower? That's wonderful.
Alan: It didn't go well?
Cory: No! They don't appreciate anything. I go to all this trouble of trying to find this great-looking guy to strip for Mommy and they're angry at me. Can you believe that?
[everyone looks at him; Alan makes a face]
Cory: There's a face.

Jonathan: I am never gonna look at you the same again. That took guts! If you want the Ski Club you've got the Ski Club.
George: Don't want Ski Club!
Jonathan: You want the Chess Club?
George: Don't want Chess Club!
Jonathan: What do you want?
George: I want you to help get the kid off my back.

George: How did you know what dormitory Topanga was in?
Stuart: She told me. She told me she lived in the McCay Dorms. She offered it to me un-prompted. Isn't that right, Topanga?
Topanga: Yes, that's true but that wasn...
Stuart: Thank you.
George: Did you really think it was proper? I mean, I'm talking about simple, human propriety. To be in a young female student's bedroom?
Stuart: A dorm room. Also serves as a living room, or a TV room or a study. It was not a bedroom when I was in there.
George: Stuart! Do you believe as college professor that it's okay to be alone in a dorm room with a young, female student?
Stuart: The door was open. I even asked her roommate to stay. In fact it was Topanga who shooed Angela away. Isn't that right, Topanga?
Topanga: She was on her way to the student union. I didn't feel the ne...
Stuart: Thank you. Anymore questions, George?
George: Just one. Is it okay if I rip off your head and roll it down the hallway?

George: And how do the Joads relate to you?
Cory: I guess they don't.
Shawn: Yeah, we're not really out in the world yet. They had nothing to eat, nowhere to live. All they knew was that they deserved a decent wage.

Jonathan: Hello, you're on the air.
George: Yes, I'm a first time caller. Love the show.
Jonathan: You have a question?
George: More of a comment, really. I thought you did a commendable job handling a rather difficult situation.
Jonathan: Thank you, caller.
George: And I do have a question. I'm curious as to what you think the appropriate punishment would be for your two guests.
Jonathan: I'm thinking a week's detention.
George: Couldn't quite hear that. There seems to be some static on the line.
Jonathan: A month's detention.
George: Loud and clear.
Cory: Well, you know, that's one man's opinion. Let's hear from some other listeners.
[He pushes a button]
Eric: I say lock 'em up and throw away the key!
Cory: Get off the phone, Eric!

Cory: So how long am I suspended for?
George: You're not. Detention for five days. One for each letter in Weeny. Which in this instance, should properly be spelled W-E-E-N-I-E, shouldn't it, Mr. Hunter?
Shawn: [to Cory] You told him?
Cory: What do you think?
Shawn: I think you wouldn't. I'm an idiot.
George: He refused to rat you out, Mr. Hunter, and he now faces a week of detention in your honor, but the punishment for not being caught, Mr. Hunter, is far, far worse
Shawn: I did it, Mr. Feeny. I confess.
George: I will be watching you every day of your high school career, which in your case could be decades.
Shawn: But I just confessed!
George: Too late, Mr. Hunter! You are my new special friend
[Mr. Feeny leaves and Shawn turns to Cory]
Shawn: Why didn't you turn me in?

Janitor: There's history between us, Georgie. You and me, we're like brothers.
George: No, we're not. Bud, you were caught on tape.
Janitor: But in two months I retire. Full pension.
George: I'm sorry.
Janitor: OK. I didn't want to use this, Feeny. But what about that time I saved your life?
George: Saved my life?
Janitor: You were walking down the hall when I noticed a patch of waxy buildup on the floor. You were maybe two, three steps away. There was no time to clean. I had no choice but to throw myself onto the wax.
George: I thought you were napping.
Janitor: Well, once I was down there.

Cory: Shawn is gonna kill me if he finds out he was not the first person to know.
Topanga: He tried every way he knew how to get us back together.
Cory: Okay, listen there is only one thing to do.
Mr. George Feeny: Ho Ho! Is that the Stupid Idea Train coming round the bend?
Cory: We have to pretend to still be apart for his sake.
Mr. George Feeny: All aboard! Whoo-Whoo!
Cory: It is so simple. We'll set it up so he can reunite us. It's a great plan.
Topanga: It's not a great plan! It's an anti-great plan!
Mr. George Feeny: If I may. Five words. Topanga is correct.
Cory: That's only three.
Mr. George Feeny: You moron!

George: Mr. Turner, I frown upon faculty becoming involved with faculty.
Jonathan: Then it's not a policy. It's just a facial expression.

George: Your young protégés overstepped the boundaries of good taste.
Jonathan: Well, who decides what's good taste?
George: You're looking at him, baby.
Jonathan: Look, Hunter and Matthews don't get stoked about much around here, but they really got into their radio show, and I think they deserve a second chance. With a little more adult supervision.
George: Who would be the adult?
Jonathan: You're looking at him, baby.

George: Is there anything more delightful than Philadelphia in February?
Alan: Nine months is too damn long.

[In the future, Eric goes by the name Plays With Squirrels]
Mr. George Feeny: Mr. Matthews?
Eric: Mr. Squirrels.
Cory: Eric?
Eric: Plays With.

Cory: You gave me bad advice, Feeny.
George: What do you mean?
Cory: You were in my dream, Mr. Feeny, and you gave me advice that sucked.
George: I'm not responsible for dream Feeny! Why don't you start from the beginning?
Cory: Every time I fall asleep, I dream that I kill Shawn. Now, what kind of person am I that would want my best friend dead?
George: Well, now, you know you don't want Shawn dead.
Cory: Oh, how do you know who I want dead?

George: Okay, uh, I've got one thing to tell you that's gonna make you feel real good, and then I've got another thing to tell you that's gonna scare the hell out of you. Which would you like first?
Alan: Feel good.
George: Ultimately, the reason that I never had a son is because of the sheer weight of responsibility for another human life is so enormous, so daunting, that I genuinely didn't know if I was up to it.
Alan: Oh, come on. You're a teacher. Your whole life's about kids.
George: No, no, no. My job is about kids. My life is my own, unlike yours, which hasn't been your own since the day Eric was born.
Alan: What are you saying? I'm a hostage?
George: Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. You are a hostage to extreme emotional joys and disappointments, which your children will bring you for as long as you live.
Alan: One day you're putting on training wheels. The next day you're teaching them how to drive. Of course, the first thing they want to do is drive away from you.
George: Mmm-hmm.
Alan: You're right. It scares the hell out of me. So, now tell me the part that makes me feel good.
George: [sighs] Mmm.
Alan: What?
George: That was the good part.
Alan: Where?
George: You know, the emotional joys, you had children and I didn't, and how lucky you are, and emotional joys, and, uh, joys.
Alan: How bad is it, George?
George: Well, I just had a phone call from Cory.
Alan: Is he all right?
George: No, he's fine. It's nothing like that.
Alan: Good, good.
George: He's on trial.

Mr. George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, I spend 35 to 40 hours a week dealing with the perceived problems of whiny, little people like yourself. Now, this is my lunch period. My respite from the fray. I spend four hours with you every morning and three hours with you every afternoon. Now, for God's sake get out of my face!

George: As some of you are aware, there have been rumors regarding whether our star player would actually be playing today. And I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Jack: Aww, bad news. YES!
George: Bad news... for the Amish! I give you our starting tailback, Jerry Mungo!

Dr. Craig Thomas: My name will be first.
Dr. Cristina Yang: Saw that comin' a mile away.
Dr. Craig Thomas: You will be the surgeon of your generation. I knew it as soon as I met you. People will try to diminish you, as they did me, and they will fail. I would like it be known in the medical community that I helped train you. Hmm?
[smiles]

Eric: Here you are, Mr. Feeny. A gift.
George: Two box seats to tomorrow night's opera? Is this a bribe?
Eric: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. This isn't a bribe. This is, uh... This is me doing something nice for you, hoping that someday you'll do something nice for me.
[coughs]
Eric: Yale. Yale.
George: Mr. Matthews, I will do something nice for you. Places like Yale embrace young people with culture.
Eric: I like what I'm hearing, Mr. Feeny.
George: Good. Then I'll pick you up at 7:30.
Eric: Feeny say what?
George: Feeny say 7:30.

George: Ms. Lawrence, you're butting in.
Topanga: Yeah, so fail me. That's life.
George: But you won't be perfect anymore.
Topanga: No one should be perfect.
George: You just yelled at me. But I'm Mr. Feeny.

Rachel: I wasn't talking about them, Topanga and I wasn't talking about you, either. For once, in all the time that we've known each other, I was talking about me. I was talking about how I feel.
Mr. George Feeny: How do you feel, Rachel?
Rachel: I feel like I don't fit in with these people and I don't think I ever have.

George: I realize that all you seventh-graders are delicate adolescent flowers just beginning your high school blooming so I say this with upmost sensitivity. Take this test or die.

George: It's nice to see father and son together again, playing a spirited game of hoops hmm?
[He notices the look on Amy's face]
George: You're not happy are you?
Amy: For years now I have watched you give advice to everybody but never me. Why is that? Why?
George: You don't ask.
Amy: Eric was supposed to be in college but at the first little bump in the road he comes running back home and Alan is okay with it!
George: But you're not?
Amy: It was hard enough saying goodbye to Eric. I don't want to do it again.
George: Well, perhaps Alan just misses the...
Amy: Oh, that's not it! This is it! He's Eric's father, he's Eric's best friend. The best friend can't bring himself to say goodbye and kick Eric out of the nest. Thank you, George. Oh, well said!
George: I have problems too, you know?

Jonathan: Alright, George. What gives all the beautiful women outside your office?
George: Oh, the secretarial prospects. Yes, I'm interviewing today.
Jonathan: What happened to Mrs. Willy?
George: She's moving to Florida to be closer to her grandchildren. The little one, Monty, turns 50 this month.

George: [trying to persuade Amy and Alan to name their new baby George] It's of nice Germanic background, meaning 'Look out, the sheep are coming'.
Amy: Look Out, the Sheep are Coming Matthews, we'll consider that.

Mr. George Feeny: [Last lines of the series] I love you all.
[pauses]
Mr. George Feeny: Class dismissed.

George: Hello, Eric.
Eric: I was wondering if you could help me out with a problem I've got.
George: Always happy to assist a former student.
Eric: See, our babysitter canceled, so...
George: Judy Horn?
Eric: Yeah, some kind of a skin crisis.
George: I don't even want to think about what a crisis for her would be. Her whole head would have to pop.

George: I would simply suggest that this being your senior year, and NYU having a wonderful film program, that this student film could be your foot in the door to a fine university!
Cory: [waving the film tape in Topanga's face] This film could be my foot!

Cory: I think in about five seconds, Feeny walks in here, takes a sip from the drinking fountain, flicks his mustache, goes to the coffee machine, sees me and says: "Good morning, Mr. Matthews. I trust you've done the homework?" Every day, the same thing. He's so predictable.
[Feeny comes in, does exactly what Cory said he would do, and then comes towards him]
George: Good morning, Mr. Matthews. I trust you've done the homework?
Cory: Yes, I did, sir...
Cory: [simultanously] ... but my little sister ate it.
[Cory, Shawn and Stuart look at him weirdly]
George: You are so predictable.

George: [Cory, Griff, Joey, and Frankie are sitting in Mr. Feeny's room in detention] Well, that was quite a stunt you pulled, Mr. Hawkins, but am I mad? No. Actually, I'm downright giddy.
[Feeny and Griff chuckle]
George: Because when the bell rings at the end of the day, I know you'll be on your merry way to my classroom, for detention, every day... for the next four years.
[Feeny turns around and heads for the door]
Cory: Mr. Feeny, you can't leave me in here alone with these guys. I'm not one of them. The walls, they're closing in.
George: Pity.
[he exits the room]

Shawn: You are making way too much out of this.
Cory: It's just stupid little fights that no one's gonna remember after next week.
Mr. George Feeny: That may be, Mr. Matthews, but it's been my experience that stupid little fights have a way of escalating into stupid big fights which can change the course of your future.

Jonathan: [to Mr. Feeny] I just made the kids a deal that if they do the work and learn this book, then I don't need a test on this book. I don't think that's radical thinking. Do you?
George: Oh, not at all, Mr. Turner. In fact, why don't we take off our clothes and run willy-nilly through the woods.

George: Oh, Eric. I just had a phone call. I need to ask you a favor.
Eric: Oh, no problem. Just give me your keys, I'll mow your lawn and water those ugly little plants.
George: You don't think I'd actually let you inside my house? No, no. No, what I'm talking about is a lot more important than watering plants.
Eric: Look, Mr. Feeny, don't get my hopes up that you're actually gonna trust me with something, okay? I'll wash your car. No biggie.
George: My citizenship class is starting a series of practice tests this week. Unfortunately, I have a scheduling conflict. I need you to proctor
Eric: Me? Proctor? Proctor Matthews.
George: You know what "proctor" is?
Eric: Yeah. It's a tushy doctor. Oh, bleh! I'm not gonna do that!
George: Maybe you better just wash the car.

Commissioner: Odd isn't it, how our enemies never change. During World War II, they recited Mein Kampf while shoving people into gas chambers. And during most of my professional life, they shot you in the back of the head, quoting Marx and Engles. And now, they misuse the Koran. Same people, different books.

George: Ms. Lawrence, Mr. Matthews, Mr. Hunter. You're early for my class. Why are you early for my class?
[Shawn raises his hand]
George: Mr. Hunter?
Shawn: Johann Gutenberg. Gutenberg invented the printing press in 1450.
George: Yes, I believe I taught you that.
[Cory raises his hand]
George: Mr. Matthews?
Cory: Can you teach us something else?

Mr. George Feeny: Well Mr. Stimpleman, what exactly did Mr. Matthews do?
Mr. Stimpleman: Get on my nerves
Mr. George Feeny: I can not possibly imagine

Jonathan: George, you live next to Matthews?
George: It's not something I brag about.

Cory: Mr. Fenny, you're putting your garbage back outside again. What about the wolf?
George: Didn't you hear? He was in the zoo the whole time. They found him in the aviary, dining on a cockatoo.
Cory: So he never really escaped at all?
George: Funny how rumors start, isn't it?
[Mr. Feeny picks up a soda can and shakes it]
George: Drat. Well, good night, Mr. Matthews.
[He walks away]
Cory: Wait a minute. No wolf? Well, then, what was...?
[the bushes rustle]
Cory: Oh, it's you again, isn't it? All right, come here, you creature of the night. Come out, you demon beast. Come out!
[a brown rabbit jumps out of the bush]
Cory: A rabbit.
[Cory picks it up]
Cory: A fuzzy, cuddly rabbit. I got all worked up over you?
[the rabbit growls ferociously]
Cory: That's better.
[Cory puts the rabbit down and runs back inside the house]

George: Care to join me for a drink?
Cory: [confused] Uh, sure.
George: Help yourself.
Cory: [takes a sip] Hey! This is apple juice!
George: Oh, gee. I must have left it in there too long

George: Mr. Matthews. I wouldn't take out that garbage, if I were you.
Cory: I had to. It was starting to move.

George: Topanga Lawrence is one of the best people I know.
Cory: I know. So what's happening to her? You've known her as long as I have.
George: She's growing up, Cory. So are you.
Cory: Why does she have to grow now? At a time like this?

Mr. George Feeny: Morning, boys.
Eric: Salutations, my didactic friend.
Mr. George Feeny: [shocked] ... Excuse me?
Jack: Hi. He said hi.
Mr. George Feeny: I know what he said. Does he know what he said?
Eric: [laughs] Oh, Mr. Feeny, I appreciate your sardonic jocularity.
Jack: It's his word-a-day calendar. It took him some time, but he's finally got it down.
Mr. George Feeny: Oh, well, Eric, I salute you. A good vocabulary is an important asset in life.
Eric: Well, thank you, Mr. Feeny.I'm certain my erudite loquaciousness will be most advantageous, particularly as regards to my intellectual discourse.
Mr. George Feeny: I can see where this is going to get old quick.
Jack: Can you? Snap him out of it.
Mr. George Feeny: So, Eric, have you perused the tastefully lascivious Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?
Eric: Tushies for sale! Cool!
Jack: You're a good teacher, Mr. Feeny.
Mr. George Feeny: Yeah, well, when you live next door to a house full of psychos.

Shawn: Well, Cory and Topanga aren't together anymore.
George: Yes, I know. I, too, read "Teen Beat," Mr. Hunter.

George: Unfortunately we live in a society where they tell us we have to look a certain way, so we're all under pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations.
Jack: Alright, I can't take it anymore. You know, I'm not really perfect. You know why I go to the gym? It's because in high school, they... well they used to have this little nickname for me. It was Jumbo Jack.
Eric: [laughs] Jumbo Jack! You were fat!
Jack: I was, alright? I just wanted people to like me.
Eric: Oh, that's alright. I like you, Jumbo Jack.

Mr. George Feeny: Friendship for example, is a real gift. It's given with no expectations and no gratitude is needed, not between real friends.

Cory: He made a move on Topanga. On my fiance. He used his power and authority to take advantage of her and he told me that there was nothing I could do and he was never going to stop. So, I did something. I mean I-I-I realize Dean that this wasn't the smartest thing in the world to do but it was all I could come up with at the time.
Dean: Striking a member of this faculty is inexcusable. No matter what the provocation.
Shawn: Can I just say something real quick?
Dean: Yes?
Shawn: Cory, it's okay with me that you hit him.
Cory: Thanks, Shawn.
[to Dean Bolander]
Cory: It's okay with Shawn.
Dean: Well, it's not okay with me. According to the bylaws of this university I am bound to expel or suspend any student for striking an educator for any reason whatsoever.
George: Dean, I beg you to reconsider this.
Dean: George. Sit down. You can't protect them anymore. Cory Matthews, I hereby suspend you from this university for a period of one day.
Stuart: One day?
Dean: You are, however, under probation for the remainder of this term and I will not take kindly to your solving any more problems with anything but words.
Cory: No, you don't have to worry about it Dean. Thank you.
Stuart: Dean, he hit a teacher!
Dean: A teacher must be someone a student can trust. The second a teacher uses pressure on a student for any reason whatsoever, other than academic... that trust is destroyed.
Stuart: Well, there must be some misunderstanding because as a teacher I...
Dean: Stuart!
[points at Mr. Feeny]
Dean: *This* is a teacher Stuart. I'm not sure what you are but you can be certain I'm going to find out.

Eric: Mr. Feeny. Imagine finding you here.
George: I live here.
Eric: You stop that. Anyway, you know, I was thinking about what you said, about how you had friends at Yale, and I was wondering what it would take for a man like George Feeny to...
[He not-so-subtly pulls an envelope out of his pocket and drops it on the ground]
Eric: Oh, look what Eric dropped. Aren't you gonna pick that up?
George: Why? Eric dropped it.

George: I'm going to try and put this as kindly as possible: the show has turned into a circus, and you 3 are driving the tiny car.

Cory: Mr. Feeny, look, the show's proving that we're absorbing the right kind of knowledge. I mean, that's why we're the champions.
[the class applauds]
George: Hold it, hold it. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Champions of what, Mr. Matthews? Of a generation whose verbal and mathematical skills have sunk so low, when you have the highest technology at your fingertips? Gutenberg's generation thirsted for a new book every six months. Your generation gets a new web page every six seconds. And how do you use this technology? To beat King Koopa and save the Princess. Shame on you. You deserve what you get.
[bell rings]
George: Sit down! Stay where you are. For the first time, I choose to walk out on you.

Raju: I'm lucky enough to have picked an ace!
Eric: Oooh! An ace, okay. Category is pop culture.
Raju: Uh, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Launched the movie career of funnyman Jim Carrey.
Eric: Very nice!
George: [Comes in] Do nothing! I said all I wanted you to do, was nothing! Just watch them take the test!
Eric: Oh, no tests. We tore 'em up.
George: You what?
Eric: I understand what you were doing. You were testing me to see if I had initiative. You think I should be a teacher.
George: No, I don't! I just wanted you to pass out the test! And what does Ace Ventura got to do with United States citizenship? Eric, for the love of God.
Eric: Mr. Feeny, if you don't mind I'm in the middle of teaching a class. Minh! Your turn. Come on.
[She takes a card]
Minh: I have a king.
George: Let me guess. King Kong. Don King. Donkey Kong King.
Eric: Okay, those were all good answers, weren't they? Except for the Donkey Kong King whatever. Look, Mr. Feeny, you can't play. You're already a citizen okay? Alright, Minh! You're holding a king. Category is, uh, civil rights.
Minh: I have a dream. That my four little children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. Dr. Martin Luther King!

Mr. George Feeny: [on the phone] Yes, yes, they are both fine, Amy. Now, be patient, you'll have your chance with them after I have mine. Take care now.
Cory: Mr. Feeny, I gotta go change, I gotta go shower. If you don't let me go home, I'm gonna be late for school.
Mr. George Feeny: Sit! Now, the two of you spent the night unsupervised on school property.
Cory: Oh, Mr. Feeny, what do you think happ... Oh, my God!
Topanga: Mr. Feeny, nothing happened. How could you think that? We're totally innocent. Tell him, Cory.
Cory: Oh, my God!
Topanga: Mr. Feeny, we were working late on our documentary. I fell asleep, then Cory fell asleep. That was it.
Mr. George Feeny: Serious violations like this call for swift, decisive action. Uh... While I decide what that is, you're both dismissed for the rest of the day.

Cory: Mr. Feeny, this war must be stopped!
George: Your passion for the material is admirable, Mr. Matthews, but not to worry. The Civil War was fought over a hundred years ago.
Cory: Oh, no one cares about that crap. I'm talking about now!

George: [after telling Eric that the college accepting him does not exist] But seriously... Boris College?
Eric: Mr. Feeny, you think that's bad? You see that girl over there? She thinks she's going to some school called Duke!
[giggles]
Eric: Are you gonna tell her or should I?

Rachel: [to Mr. Feeny about Cory and Shawn putting her car in her dorm room] You're not going to teach them a lesson?
George: No, and you can't make me.

Cory: Mr. Feeny, who cares about a guy who killed himself for some dumb girl?
Mr. George Feeny: The tragedy here, Mr. Matthews, is not about a dumb girl, or the boy who kills himself because of her. It's about the all-consuming power of love. And the inevitability of its influence on each of our lives.
Cory: [pauses] Are you aware that I'm only eleven years old?

Cory: Feeny...
[waves for him to come closer]
George: [Leaning in] I'm here, Mr. Matthews.
Cory: Closer...
George: I'm close enough.
Cory: Thank you for coming. Now I don't have much time. I need to make peace with you.
[Mr. Feeny looks over at Alan]
Alan: Sedative.
George: Ah. Well, all is forgiven, Mr. Matthews.
Cory: I wish it was that simple. I've done a lot of bad to you over the years; I want to make things right between us.
George: You're making me very uncomfortable.
Cory: [Pulling Feeny in by his coat] Ah, for once just listen to me man! In the classroom under my desk is a key. The key will open airport locker B378. In the locker is a tattered, plaid valise. In the valise you will find all my homework, for five years! You see, all these years I've understood everything. I'm actually a brilliant student.
George: What is the capital of Montana?
Cory: [Long pause] You're not going to the airport, are ya?
George: [Shaking his head] No.

Cory: [in the video] Hi. Look, I didn't want to be in this documentary, because I didn't have that much to say about sex and all.
Topanga: [turns to Cory in the classroom] What's this?
Cory: The special director's cut.
Cory: [in the video] And the reason that I don't have that much to say about sex, is because I don't have a lot of experience in that area. Some people think I do, but I don't. And if let some people think that I have some experience with someone, well... you know, it really isn't fair to that person I didn't have that experience with.
Mr. George Feeny: [in the classroom, to Mr. Turner] Well, perhaps this project is gonna serve some purpose after all. I'm shocked.
Jonathan: Me too.
Cory: [in the video] So I'd like to say I'm sorry to that person. And I should've acted more mature. You know, maybe we haven't come as far as we think in the last 400 years. Okay, cut it, Shawn. Stop the camera, Shawn.
Shawn: Okay, now, tell her how much you love her.
Cory: Shut up, I do not.
Shawn: Then why would you do this for her, if you don't love her?
Cory: Because she's my friend.
[Shawn makes sarcastic kissing noises against his hand]
Cory: Stop the camera, Shawn! Shawn!
[Topanga turns to Cory in the classroom]
Cory: Friend?
Topanga: Friend.
[they shake hands]

Cory: Boy, where's his Christmas spirit? Where's his gratitude? I can name one sixth grader who wasn't paying attention to "A Christmas Carol."
George: I can name one, too, Mr. Matthews.
Cory: Yeah, Shawn!
George: Cory.
Cory: Ha ha! No, I'm Cory. You've been calling me Mr. Matthews for so long you must have forgot.
George: Believe me, I know who you are. I also know that a true gift is given with no expectation.
Cory: What's that mean?
George: It means you gave the gift to get the thanks.

George: Miss Nechita, I'm a great admirer of yours. I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts about classic versus modern technique and the impact of the renaissance on the modern palette.
Shawn: Feeny. You're drooling, man!
George: I'm sorry, Mr. Hunter, but I get carried away when I see a young person with such extraordinary gifts.
Cory: Are you saying we don't have extraordinary gifts?
George: No, of course not, Mr. Matthews. You also have extraordinary gifts.
Cory: Like what?
George: [searches for a moment for the right answer] You have your health. Good for you.

Shawn: Cory.
Cory: Huh?
Shawn: What's the score?
Cory: Bottom of the third. Two outs. Dykstra's on second. Kruk's on first. three and two to Daulton.
Mr. George Feeny: [Mr Feeny appears and moves Cory's hand out of the way to reveal his earbud. Feeny then pulls it all the way out] What's this Mr. Matthews?
Cory: Huh? What'd you say, Mr. Feeny? You took my hearing aid.
Mr. George Feeny: [He puts the earbud in his ear] Smoltz delivers. Daulton swings Oh, he got a piece of that one. It's a long drive deep to center. Otis Nixon back, back to the warning track. Climbs up the wall and...
Mr. George Feeny: [Mr. Feeny pulls the earbud out before hearing the outcome and turns off the radio] Mr. Matthews, "Romeo and Juliet" is Shakespeare's ultimate test of love between a man and a woman.

[last lines]
Cory: You coming with us, Mr. Feeny? You gonna sneak up on us in Central Park or something?
George: No. I shall remain here.
Cory: No. You'll always be with us. As long as we live okay?
[leaves the room]
George: I love you all. Class dismissed.

George: Mr. Turner, I now return you your students, sadder but wiser.
Jonathan: What about Matthews and Hunter?
George: For those two, I shall have to go nuclear.
Jonathan: And that would mean?
George: I shall call their mommies.

Mary: Ingrid didn't speak English so she didn't know that Randolph was peculiar.
Heinrich: I said no details! Peculiar is a detail! You are all peculiar!

George: Ms. Lawrence, I have an assignment for you as well. Butt out of other people's business for a week. Otherwise, you get an F.
Topanga: But I've never failed before!
George: There's a first time for everything.
Cory: That argument doesn't get you anywhere with her.

George: [to Eric] And as for you, young man, I want you to go to your room and wait till your parents return.
Eric: Just because you were once my sixth grade teacher does not give you the right to tell me what to do.
George: Go to your room!
Eric: Apparently it does.
[goes to his room]

Cory: Shawn, what was your mother's maiden name?
Shawn: Cordini.
Cory: Cordini, so that would make you a WOP, right?
Shawn: [all the kids turn and look] What did you call me?
Cory: You heard what I called you.
Shawn: [to Feeny] Did you hear what he called me?
George: I heard what he called you.
Shawn: What're you going to do about it?
George: He's the teacher, what are you going to do about it?
Shawn: I'm gonna knock his head off!
Cory: What if you couldn't? What if you couldn't do anything about it?
Shawn: What?
Cory: What if you lived in a country where I could kill you just because of your mom's last name.
Shawn: Cory, what're you talking about?
Cory: A 15 year old girl is dead! Doesn't anybody care? She was really smart and totally cool. Her name was Anne Frank. She wrote this book. They say she died of 'typhus', but, *they* killed her, because her name was Anne Frank. Anne Frank was a victim of anti-semi-tism.
George: Antisemitism.
Cory: Thank you, Mr. Feeny. You have to read this book, and you have to pass this test. Not because of me, but because when somebody calls someone else a bad name, it's not right that just that one person stand up. We *all* have to stand up.

George: Your little bully tactics didn't work back then, and they're not gonna work now. Now, put him down.
Frankie Stecchino Sr.: Make me!
George: I'd be glad to... Leslie.
Frankie Stecchino Sr.: You wouldn't,
George: I would.

George: Ah, Alan, there you are. I was wondering if you'd care to join me for a little workout down at the health club.
Alan: What for, George?
George: For health?

George: You better stay too you little control freak!
Topanga: [shocked] You just yelled at me! But I'm Topanga.

Topanga: [to Mr. Feeny] How can you possibly keep us here against our will?
Mr. George Feeny: A-minus.
Topanga: Well played, old man.

Dr. Craig Thomas: Women of your generation are graceless. It's an affront to nature. Mediocre surgeons will see you and feel themselves wilting in your shadow; do not shrink to console them. Do not look for friends here, you won't find them. None of these people have the capacity to understand you - they never will. If you're lucky, one day, when you're old and shrivelled like me, you'll find a young doctor with little regard for anything but their craft; and you'll train them, like I trained you. Until then, read a good book. You have greatness in you Yang - don't disappoint.

Mr. George Feeny: Even though this isn't a classroom at the moment, would you mind if I taught you a lesson anyway?
Topanga: Please.
Mr. George Feeny: Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I cared for someone as deeply as you two care for each other now.
Cory: You believe we love each other?
Mr. George Feeny: And for no reason I understood, my wife was taken from me, and I haven't been so deeply in love since.
Cory: [to Topanga] Feeny believes we love each other!
Mr. George Feeny: I believe that when you find love, you hold on to it, and cherish it! Because there is nothing finer, and may never come again. And that, my dears, is the most important thing I could teach you.

Mr. George Feeny: Well Mr. Matthews, why don't we call this a dress rehersal for the many visits we will endoubtly have this year.
Cory: Huh?
Mr. George Feeny: Get out of my face.
Cory: Sure, my next class is American History with Mr, Um... Feeny... Mr... Fay... ayy
[the bell rings]
Mr. George Feeny: You're late!

George: Mr. Hunter, the girl in the white turtleneck, is that Ingrid Iverson?
Shawn: That's her.
George: What on earth has she done to herself?
Shawn: Oh, she didn't do it. We did it. Cory and me.
George: "Cory and I," Mr. Hunter.
Shawn: Oh yeah, sure, now everybody wants to take credit.

George: [to Shawn] An apple? Are you kidding me?
Shawn: What I did in class yesterday was so out of line. If you won't accept my apology, then I want you to have this $12.
George: The only thing of value for me, Mr. Hunter would be to know that you're all right. Are you all right?
Shawn: Yeah. Yeah, I'm all right. My brother and I decided to talk to this guy who's gonna help us understand how to deal with this.
George: Good for you, Shawn. That's the right thing to do.

Cory: [to Mr. Feeny] Do I not cherish Topanga?
George: Oh, here we go into Coryland.
Cory: Did I not raise her and bring her into my home?
George: Who talks like you?

Shawn: A twelve? How do you get a twelve?
Mr. George Feeny: I don't know. You ever open a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. George Feeny: A book! Do you ever open a book?
Shawn: What?
Cory: Don't ask me, I got a sixteen.
Mr. George Feeny: Gentlemen, do you ever go home and open a book?
Shawn: What?
Mr. George Feeny: I want you to go home this afternoon and open a book! I don't care what you had otherwise planned, I order you, nay, I command you. Go home and open a book.
Jonathan: George.
Mr. George Feeny: What?
Jonathan: Watch this. Hi boys. Nice boys. Nice boys. Now listen did you hear anything Mr. Feeney just said?
Shawn: No.
Cory: [Whispering to Jonathan] He's real mad.
Jonathan: Do you have any idea why?
Shawn: No. He just started yelling like a crazy man.

George: Class, as we continue our study of feudalism, I would like to focus today on the life of the serf.
[Shawn raises his hand]
George: Mr. Hunter?
Shawn: I don't wanna.
George: You don't want to what?
Shawn: Boring. It's boring! That's why the whole feudalism thing didn't work out. They got bored out of their freaking minds!
[Cory gets up to stop him]
Shawn: What?
Cory: It's too far.
Shawn: No, you know, just once, I would like to learn something somewhat relevant to our lives.
Angela: Shawn, shut up. I say this with love.
Topanga: [to Shawn] What's the matter with you?
Shawn: Nothing. Now, why don't you stop being so crazy and sit on Cory's lap?
George: Mr. Hunter, we will discuss your outburst at the end of the class.
Shawn: Cool. So let the boredom begin.
[imitates the "Charge" fanfare]
George: Mr. Hunter, please leave.
Shawn: Okay. But only because you asked me so nicely.
[leaves the classroom]

Eric: Mr. F... F... F... Feeny
Mr. George Feeny: I love the Feeny call

George: [Mr Feeny makes clear, without naming names, his choice to play Hamlet in the school play] Now, this is a tricky part to cast, because Hamlet gets on a lot of people's nerves. He makes one stupid mistake after another, and for five acts, he never shuts up.
Cory: [Cory slowly realizes that everyone is looking at him] What, do I have a booger?

Eric: I really wanted to go to Europe this summer and, I guess I saw my whole trip slipping away.
George: That's superficial, Mr. Matthews. Perhaps it's something a little deeper?
Eric: There is no 'deeper' with me, Mr. Feeny. I'm not a good student, I'm just an average guy who can get by on a nice smile. I'm never going to get an A, never going to make the honor roll, that's who I am. Might as well just accept it. I have.
George: The only thing that limits you, Mr. Matthews is your laziness. You're just looking for an excuse to never get the grades I know you're capable of getting.
Eric: I'm not capable, and they're just grades.
George: 'Just grades'? Oh well, it's just Europe, they're just girls, it's just a beach, unless you happen to know that on that beach in June 1944, 150,000 troops landed and began the liberation of Europe, so that 50 years later those girls could run around on that beach in freedom!

Mr. George Feeny: If I may, five words. Topanga is correct.
Cory: That's only three.
Mr. George Feeny: You moron.

George: [to Cory and Shawn] Gentlemen, this kind of behavior is juvenile and unbefitting of college sophomores. Did you really put a car in her room?
[Shawn and Cory nod their heads]
George: [laughs] That's great!

George: Mr. Turner all I've heard from your little election are ridiculous promises and character assasinations.
Jonathan: Too much like the real thing George?

George: Mr. Matthews, I wouldn't be taking out that garbage if I were you.
Cory: I had to. It was starting to move.
George: Haven't you heard?
Cory: I haven't heard anything. I live upstairs.
George: Well, it seems that a wolf escaped from the Philadelphia Zoo. Authorities believe that it may well be somewhere in our area.
Cory: A wolf? Out here in the 'burbs?
George: Yes. Probably looking for better schools.
Cory: So, how come you're taking your garbage back inside the house?
George: Wolves have a keen sense of smell. The garbage would only attract them.
Cory: So, your plan is to lure them into your living room?
George: Scoff if you will, but as acting head of the neighborhood watch I have duly warned you.

Cory: You know Mr. Feeny, maybe I wouldn't have bailed on this play if you'd picked something a little cooler. I mean couldn't we do 'Selected Scenes From the Terminator?' Or how about 'A Steven Seagal Soliloquy?'
George: You know Mr. Matthews, you're right. Shakespeare is dry, tedious, and there's no way for a person your age to be affected by it.
[Cory turns to go when Feeny suddenly hits himself with a blue spotlight and picks up a spear]
George: [reciting] "Behold- I am thy Father's spirit, doomed for a certain time to walk the night, and for the day confined to fast in fires, until the foul crimes done in my days of nature are burned and purged away. But that I am forbid to tell the secrets of my prison house I could a tale unfold whose lightest word would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood! But this eternal blazon must not be to ears of flesh and blood. List. List! Oh, list. If thou didst ever thy dear father love..."
Cory: Oh, God...
George: "Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder."
Cory: Murder?
George: Of course, I'm no Steven Seagal.

Topanga: Should I go to Yale?
George: If you're asking me if Yale is one of the finest academic institutions in the country, then I would have to say... Duh.

Heinrich: I am Heinrich Himmel, a private investigator hired by Corinne Tate's mother. May I come in?
Mary: Yes.
Heinrich: I think you should know there is a broken bathtub on your lawn and it looks disgusting.

George: You don't have to be blood to be family.

George: [Torie helped Eric cheat on his test] Well, this is what I get for selecting a pretty girl to be a teaching assistant.
Torie: Excuse me?
George: Oh, you resent that? Because growing up with a pretty face you had to work twice as hard to be taken seriously? I should think you, more than most, would want to help this young man have his chance at being taken seriously.

George: I couldn't sleep.
Alan: Why not?
George: Well, you got all the lights on, everybody's yelling and Eric parked his car in my garden.
Eric: So? What the hell do you care? You're moving. Go ahead, Feeny, retire. Take care of yourself. That's what you're best at.
Amy: The man has given the last 40 years of his life teaching people.
Eric: Don't care. Kill his flowers. Kill them.

Jonathan: This is not what I had in mind.
Mr. George Feeny: Come here. So, Mr. Turner, your little project seems to have spiraled totally out of control. Who could have possibly foreseen that?
Jonathan: George, I think we both know what happened here.
Mr. George Feeny: Yes. You have proven that our attitudes about sex have not changed for 400 years. And that a rumor can still destroy a young girl's reputation.
Jonathan: Rumors can only exist when things aren't out in the open. I was trying to get them to move from rumors and secrets to honest, open discussion.
Mr. George Feeny: You gave them an assignment about sex and then you left them unsupervised.
Jonathan: Yes, because I trust them.
Mr. George Feeny: And was your trust justified?
Jonathan: The assignment isn't in yet.
Mr. George Feeny: Well, it was a terrible idea and I should have nipped it in the bud.
Janitor: What?
Mr. George Feeny: Not you!

Mr. George Feeny: Mr. Hunter, perhaps you could tell us what SCUBA means?
Shawn: Something... Creepy... Under... Boat... Andy

Cory: Well, I got Topanga to go to New York.
George: Good for you.
Cory: She's not even scared any more.
George: Nor should she be.
Cory: I am.
George: Well you have a right to be.

George: As Principal of this high school, I'm expected to keep order. Unchecked, these pranks undermine my authority and breed disrespect.
Cory: So I guess I get punished for something I didn't do.
George: Name the person who did, and you walk out of here scot-free.
Cory: I'm sorry. I can't do that.

Cory: I didn't think seniors still got detention.
George: They do when they act like two-year-olds.
Cory: [mockingly] They do when they act like two-year-olds.
George: Mr. Matthews when one mocks someone one should wait until they're not looking right at them.
Cory: I'm not in my regular seat.

George: And that, Mr. Hunter, is how babies are made.
Shawn: I still don't believe 'em.

Mr. George Feeny: Mr. Matthews, can you tell us what SCUBA is an acronym for?
Cory: Uh... DUBA?

Eric: I cheated, Mr. Feeny. I had the answers to the test written on my hand.
George: And you only managed an A-minus?
Eric: I sneezed off a couple of the answers.

Aunt: [steps forward] Prudence Curtis, I'm Topanga's aunt.
Mr. George Feeny: [steps forward as well] George Feeny, I'm Topanga's teacher.
Aunt: Well, I don't know that I appreciate what you are teaching these children, sir. To plant wild ideas about true love in young undeveloped minds is as irresponsible as my sister and brother-in-law ripping her from the only environment she's ever known. At this... delicate time.
Mr. George Feeny: Madam, if you choose to question my opinions, then you disregard 38 years in the public school system, where I have born the responsibility of those opinions for 30,000 students. None held in higher regard than Mr. Matthews and Ms. Lawrence.
Cory: [sits up excitedly] You like me?
Mr. George Feeny: Stay out of this.
Aunt: The only thing I presume, sir, is that you are as verbose as you are snappy.
Mr. George Feeny: Well, then. There we are.

Mr. George Feeny: Mr Matthews, what was I just talking aboout?
Cory: [stutters] Uhhh...
Mr. George Feeny: Ok, Mr. Hunter, what was I just talking about?
Shawn: President Roosevelt and the New Deal.
Mr. George Feeny: [clutches heart] O dear lord he's right.
Shawn: Hey Mr. Feeny, it's been my answer for two years. It had to pay off sometime!

George: So, what's with the bitchin' board, bro?

Commissioner: Odd, isn't it, how our enemies never change. During World War II, they recited "Mein Kampf" while shoving people into gas chambers. And during most of my professional life, they quoted Marx and Engels while they shot you in the back of the head. And now, they misuse the Qur'an. Same people. Different books.

Heinrich: You. You are the black servant Benson?
Benson: [affecting a Japanese accent] No, I am Japanese houseboy Moto!

George: Cory may not take the make up test. The F stands.
Alan: I thought you said you understand.
George: I do understand. But understanding and condoning are two entirely separate concepts.
Alan: So you're going to fail a boy for spending time with his father?
George: In my 35 years of teaching, I've heard every excuse imaginable for why somebody fails a test. What's my excuse? If somewhere down the line, a child fails at something because I once abrogated my responsibility to impart knowledge.
[Alan looks at Cory]
Cory: I've gotta listen to this everyday.

George: You know what I like most about Christmas?
Cory: I go away for a week?
George: Yeah, that's pretty special. But it's the time of year that you can think back and appreciate the real gifts you received.
Cory: I don't get it.
George: Friendship, for example, is a real gift. And it's given with no expectation and no gratitude is necessary. Not between real friends. You think about that.

Jonathan: Listen, I hear the censor yanked two of my DJs off the air.
George: Yes, it's a wonder the censor didn't come after their counter-culture, hippy faculty advisor.
Jonathan: Hippy? George, my aunt Ruthie was a hippy.
George: Yes, and my papa was a rolling stone.

George: Eric, when someone you care for makes a considered decision to change his life, then those who do care should offer their support and respect his decision.
Eric: Oh, Feeny, you had me at "Eric," man. Come here.
[hugs Mr. Feeny]
Alan: You're right, George. We should accept what they've done and do something to show our support. I mean, after all, we're talking about Cory and Topanga here.
George: Cory and Topanga? I was talking about a going-away party for me.

Mr. George Feeny: There is no gravity in space, Mr. Matthews, therefore astronauts suck UP. Learn from them.

Cory: [after watching an educational film about puberty] I've seeen hormones turn a normal guy's face into craters 'R us.
George: Yes, there will be side-effects, but those, thank goodness, will be the province of your seventh-grade teacher.
Cory: *If* it happens.
George: Oh, it will happen.
Cory: Maybe, maybe not. I mean, I'm young and I'm fast. I can dodge hormones for days, years if I have to. I'm gonna stay twelve 'til I'm forty-two.

George: Miss Wilder wants to know what Miss Harrington thinks she should wear to her party. Miss Harrington wants to know what makes Miss Wilder think she's even invited. Oh!

Eric: I never understood why anybody would want to be a teacher until now.
George: That's because you are seeing your students succeed and grow right in front of your eyes.
Eric: It makes you feel so proud to know you made a difference in someone's life, doesn't it Mr. Feeny?
George: Yes, it does my boy. Indeed it does.

Lauren: Those slopes are treacherous.
George: He fell getting off the bus.
Lauren: Those buses are treacherous.

George: Mr. Matthews, just the man I wanted to see.
Eric: Mr. Feeny?
George: Let me ask you - if one were entertaining a young woman, a young girl your age, um, how would he go about it?
Eric: Mr. Feeny, you dating a teenage girl?
George: Not since the Eisenhower administration. No, my niece is visiting for a few days. She's your age. She'll need to be entertained and I thought that maybe you could help me out.
Eric: Look, I'd love to meet your niece, Mr. Feeny. But, see, I got this really bad case of strep throat.
[begins to speak hoarsely as he backs out away]
Eric: It's spreading down my lungs and into my pancreas, so as you can see, I'm - I'm completely strep.
George: Relax. I'm merely curious as to how a contemporary teenage girl entertains herself.
Eric: [drops the act] Oh, OK. Well, it's my experience that if they can't find a senior with a car they'll settle for some gullible sophomore who's willing to empty his pockets on a dinner he can't really afford, a movie he doesn't want to see, and a door slammed in his face.
George: Somewhere in that brimming cup of bile I heard dinner and a movie?
Eric: Yeah, see, dinner and a movie is the premier form of dating entertainment. Dinner, movie. Movie, dinner. Dinner, dinner, movie, movie.
George: A wonderfully rich tapestry of human experience.
Eric: Don't mock what I am, Mr. Feeny.

Jessica: [Eric has been using Morgan to meet girls and Jessica is the latest girl] Is this your little sister?
Eric: That she is.
Morgan: I love Eric.
George: Oh, please, Jessica you couldn't possibly fall for this line of...
Jessica: She is so cute.
George: And so well-rehearsed!
Morgan: Eric's taking me to the carnival today.
Eric: When did I say that?
George: [chuckling] Looks like your parrot has learned a few new words.
Morgan: Do you want to come with us?
Eric: Oh, with us. To the carnival with us, yes. Please come with us?
Jessica: Well, if that's okay with you, Uncle George.
George: Well, I think the polite thing would be to extend an invitation for me to join you.
Eric: [through his teeth, while smiling] Mr. Feeny, would you like to come to the carnival with us?
George: Oh, thank you so very much for asking but no. I'd rather have gum surgery.

George: What's the matter with you two, and why are you so unkempt?
Cory: Oh, ho ho ho! We're "unkempt"! You hear that, Topanga? Well, you'd be unkempt, too, if you lived in an apartment with only one washing machine and no dryer! And you know how the baby cries? Like this: Waaah! Waaah! Waaah! All night!
George: Mr. Matthews...
Cory: Waah!
George: All right, I get it! It's unpleasant!
Topanga: Quit stalling, Feeny. We staying with you or not?
George: Not.
[They get up and start to leave angrily]
George: Oh, Cory, Topanga... From the bottom of my heart, I'd do anything for you two if it's anything short of actually moving in. Anything at all.
Topanga: How about some of your millions, fella?
George: Mrs. Matthews...
Topanga: Hold him! I'll get his wallet.
Cory: No! That would be wrong. This man is an educator.
Topanga: Oh, you're right. What could he have, like, nine bucks?
George: And a Blockbuster card.

Mr. George Feeny: I believe that when you find love, you hold on to it and cherish it because there is nothing finer, and it may never come again.

Eric: My grades aren't good enough to get me into college?
Mr. George Feeny: Your grades, my friend, aren't good enough to get you a Slurpee.

George: Mr. Matthews, I have no idea what you're talking about and that's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh, I like it.

Cory: [in the principal's office] Now, my name is Johnny Baboon; at least my life can't get any worse.
Mr. George Feeny: [turns from his desk chair] Wrong again... Mr. Baboon.
Cory: MR. FEENY!
Mr. George Feeny: The legend continues.
Cory: How can this be? You're only temporary, right? You don't have the full authority to authorize detention or caning, right?
Mr. George Feeny: Oh, the school board in its infinite wisdom has seen fit to give me full authority.

George: Shawnzie Hunterelli, I warned you that your next shenanigan would be your last.
Cory: Uh, it wasn't him. It was me.
George: Ah, a new student trying to make a name for himself eh? And that name is?
Shawnzie: He doesn't know you. Be smart. Make one up.
Cory: My name is, uh, Brad Pitt, sir.
George: Well, Mr. Pittsir. If you want to keep your nose clean around here, I suggest you that steer clear of bad apples like this Johnny Rottenseed.

Eric: On behalf of the film society and their friends thank you all for responding to the underground invitations stuffed in your lockers. And now, here to introduce Leon's Revenge, the man you've all been waiting for. He played Leon The Gutsucker in parts one, three and four. Here he is direct from the pits of hell. Your worst nightmare! Come on here he is!
[the curtain opens to reveal Feeny]
George: Boo.

George: Although you can't see it now, your reward is yet to come.
Cory: What are you, a fortune cookie?
Topanga: Who has cookies?
Cory: He's a fortune cookie, Topanga.
George: I resent that! My words are heartfelt and highly original. To be reduced to a whimsical jocularity that's stuffed into a cracker is an affront to the very essence of my character.
[He turns to Topanga who immediately blows a raspberry at him]
Cory: Well put, honey. Well put. Give us something we can use, why don't ya?
George: Persevere, and prosperity shall be yours. All right, I'm a fortune cookie.

George: So, Mr. Matthews...
Cory: You think we've known each other long enough for you to call me Cory?
George: I think we've known each other long enough for me to call you Cornelius.
Cory: Shhh, Mr. Feeny! Not even Topanga knows that!

Eric: Have you heard of a college called "Yah-ley"?
George: You mean Yale?

Ludwig: It was terrible, Mr. Feeny. I'm not accustomed to being so ill-used.
George: Yes, well, you're young yet.

Shawn: [to Alan and Amy] Can I crash on your guys' couch? I don't want to be up this late with all the creeps and weirdoes.
George: [walks into the house] How you doing?

Mr. George Feeny: [clears his throat]
Cory: Five more minutes mom.
Mr. George Feeny: Goood Morning sunshine. Breakfast is on the table. We're having a big bowl of sugar frosted, you've got a lot of explaining to do.

Cory: [as he rushes into the house] Big trouble!
Amy: Cory, Mr. Feeny and Lila are getting married in our living room.
Cory: I'm thrilled for you, Feeny. Now, get out and take your chick with you.
Alan: Cory, have you lost your mind?
Cory: The in-laws are coming.
George: We're outta here.

Mr. George Feeny: You can't tell Cory and Topanga what to do. I've been trying to do that since the first grade. I remember when I tried to separate their desks. She kicked me. He bit me. And some little punk kept saying "Leave 'em alone. They should get married."
Shawn: I was cute then, huh?
Mr. George Feeny: Precious.

Jonathan: [to Feeny] Come on, George. Why don't you just let them burn out? You don't wanna break their spirit.
George: Please. I have been an educator for 35 years. I think I know how to relate to my students.
[speaks into the megaphone]
George: All right, this is your warden speaking. So, you wanna play rough with George Feeny? Fine. We'll take off the gloves.
Shawn: Uh-oh.
George: The 7th-grade dance is hereby canceled.
Cory: You can't do that.
George: I can do whatever I want. I have the megaphone. The entire football season...
Shawn: Oh, no.
George: Canceled!
Shawn: But that means...
George: Yes, Mr. Hunter. No cheerleaders.
Shawn: [dramatically drops to the ground and weeps] No!
Cory: Shawn, it's a strike. We have to make sacrifices.
Shawn: But he's taking my girls. Why can't we just sacrifice you?

Gumshoe: [narrating] Fez-head and Costello. They're always together. People talk.
Costello: Move away from me, Fez-head! People are talking.
Fez: Don't flatter yourself, Gertrude.

Topanga: You won't listen to me. You won't listen to each other. Maybe you'll listen to Mr. Feeny.
George: Well, it hasn't happened yet, but I'll take a shot at it. Okay, who wants to start?
Cory: I have nothing to say.
Shawn: Me neither.
George: Okay! That was my best shot.
Topanga: What? Mr. Feeny, these people are about to throw away ten years of friendship and you call *that* your best shot? Shame on you! Shame!
George: I show up. I teach. Why isn't that enough? Why?

Shawn: Cory, that's your next story.
Cory: What?
Shawn: To understand what girls are talking about, you experience the world from a girl's point of view, by becoming a girl.
Cory: That's crazy talk.
Shawn: No, no, no. You dress up like a girl and write about it. *Chick Like Me*. That's meaningful. You're writing a real article, not just some silly column.
Cory: It is not a silly column.
Shawn: Yes, it is.
Cory: Ok. Mr. Feeny, what happened to this guy Griffin after he wrote his book?
Mr. George Feeny: He sold five million copies and won immediate world renown. Why do you ask, Mr. Matthews?
Cory: Miss Matthews.

Shawn: Oh, principal Feeny!
Cory: No farm animals here!
[Shawn and Cory laugh nervously]
George: Yes, well, the day is young.

George: What?
Cory: We're leaving.
George: I know
Topanga: We wanted to know if you had anything left to teach us.
George: No. My work with you is done.
Shawn: I don't know. That's pretty scary. Going into a whole new world.
George: And you are ready to go into that world.
Eric: Even me?
George: Even you. Believe in yourselves. Dream. Try. Do good.
Topanga: Don't you mean do well?
George: No I mean do good.
Eric: Well, I guess there's just one thing left then. Tell us you love us.
George: Now look. If there is one thing I've taught you it is that there is a line between teacher and student that must never be crossed
Eric: Tell us you love us.
George: I regard all my students equally.
Shawn: Oh, you know we're your favorites.
Cory: Come on Feeny. You haven't even talked to another student for seven years. I mean that...
Eric: Tell us you love us!
George: I surely will not.
Eric: Okay for you then.
Topanga: [She stands up in tears and hugs Mr. Feeny] I will never forget you. You were more of a father to me then my own dad.
[Topanga leaves]
Shawn: [Also crying] You, uh, you never give up on me. Never once. I'm not going to forget you. You're the best person I know.
[He hugs Mr. Feeny and leaves]
Eric: I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I do know that I'm going to be a good person who cares about people. And I blame *you* for that.

Eric: [Eric, in an attempt to bribe Mr. Feeny, is at an opera and is terribly bored] Mr. Feeny, I appreciate you helping me get into Yale and everything...
George: Oh, Mr. Matthews, I couldn't get you into Yale. I couldn't get you into a Yale sweatshirt.
Eric: Oh, well, excuse me, Mr. "I'll just take the tickets and not complete the other half of the deal."
George: The only deal I've ever made with you is to be your teacher and friend. And with that, the responsibility to help make you a better person.
Eric: Mr. Feeny, I don't want to be a better person. I just want to party with the girl on the raft.
George: Yes, well, you won't be doing that at Yale.
Eric: Guess I came here for nothing.
George: Mr. Matthews, say you did meet that young woman on the raft. Or another woman just like her. And say that she had a passion for culture. Perhaps opera. Well, now, don't you see that after this evening you now have something to talk about?
Eric: All right, Mr. Feeny, look. It's a nice try, it's a nice plan, but don't you see? This kind of stuff is lost on a guy like me.
[Eric gets up to leave. He reaches the back of the balcony before "Ride of the Valkyries" begins to play]
Eric: Wait, I know this. I know this. Bom-ba-da-bom bom, bom-ba-da-bom bom. This is Bugs Bunny!
George: It's Wagner.
Eric: No, no, we're talking cartoons here, Mr. Feeny. You're way out of your league.

George: Eric, in the play of your life all your great scenes lie ahead of you.
Eric: So you're saying in thirty or forty years I could write a play that you would wanna come and see?
George: No, tonight pretty much killed any interest I had in the theater.
Eric: Mr. Feeny you know everything. Where does my life go from here?
George: Well, now, you have passion. You have drive. You certainly have guts. I frankly can't wait to see what happens to you.
Eric: So you're not gonna tell me to give up my life as an actor and go get a college education?
George: Eric I told you to get a college education ten-thousand times. I don't have to tell you anymore.
Eric: What about my life as an actor?
George: Get a college education.

Shawn: Okay, everyone have a peaceful night. I'm going back to The Centre.
Alan: Oh, no. Whoa, whoa. No, you're not. While your parents are out of town you are our responsibility.
Amy: That means you're staying here in this house.
Shawn: Yeah. Mr. Mack told me that people like you would try to talk me out of my beliefs.
Amy: Shawn, we love you.
Shawn: He said you'd say that.
Alan: All right, fine. That's enough. Get him in the house and tie him up.
George: Shawn, these aren't beliefs. This is just a way to escape a life that doesn't have beliefs.
Shawn: That's a judgment.
George: You're damn right it is.

Mr. George Feeny: And so, my precious little jackals, here's the bottom line. No one leaves this room until you have healed every relationship in this group, no matter how long it takes.
Eric: No matter how long!
Mr. George Feeny: [to Eric] Shut up.
Eric: Shut up. Jackals!

Cory: Do people turn out a certain way because of where they come from? You know, where they live? Who their parents are?
George: Personally, I believe that a man, no matter where he comes from, chooses his own path.
Cory: So, really no matter who you are, you can make up your own mind about what you wanna do?
George: Absolutely
Amy: [calling from inside] Cory! Dinner!
Cory: I'll come in when I choose to.
Amy: Get your butt in here, now!
Cory: Uh, Mr. Feeny?
George: My theory bites?
Cory: I'm thinking!

Morgan: [sitting on the kitchen counter on the phone with 911] I'm stuck here. My parents are outside fighting.
[pause]
Morgan: Hold on, let me check. Mommy! What's our address?
Mr. George Feeny: [from outside] You're drowning my florabundas!
Morgan: They just shot the neighbor!

[Eric hugs Mr. Feeny and follows Topanga and Shawn out the door]
George: So Mr. Matthews...
Cory: You think we've known each other long enough for you to call me Cory?
George: I think I've known you long enough to call you Cornelius.
Cory: Ssh! Mr. Feeny! Not even Topanga knows that!
George: Your secret is safe with me.
Cory: Well, I got Topanga to go to New York.
George: Good for you.
Cory: She's not even scared anymore.
George: Nor should she be.
Cory: I am.
George: Well, you have a right to be.
[Cory hugs Mr. Feeny]
Cory: You coming with us Mr. Feeny? You gonna sneak up on us in Central Park or something?
George: No, I shall remain here.
Cory: No. You'll always be with us. As long as we live okay?
[Cory walks out the door. Mr. Feeny looks around the room]
George: I love you all... Class dismissed.

George: Young lady, your hair is far too high. A clear violation of school policy, and a hazard to all low-flying aircraft.
T.L.: If I see an aeroplane, I'll duck. Alright?

[first lines]
George: Good morning class. I would like you all to let out your most agonized groan.
[the class groans]
George: Good. Now, let's start planning our springtime class play.
[the class groans louder]
George: Been there, heard that.

George: [after ejecting the "Stumpy's Revenge" videotape, destroying it in the process] This is rated "R."
Shawn: Yeah, "R" for wrecked!

Heinrich: I swear, I don't know how you people won the war.I never saw a nation of such utter fools. Except in Italy. But they of course can cook. You people, you can't even do that!

Janitor: [Janitor Bud brings Mr. Feeny into a school closet where Cory and Topanga are sleeping] I tried poking them with my mop. Nothing.
Mr. George Feeny: Ahem.
[Cory and Topanga slowly start to wake up]
Cory: Five more minutes, Mom...
[Suddenly aware of where he is, he opens his eyes wide and looks at Mr. Feeny]
Mr. George Feeny: Good morning, sunshine. Breakfast is on the table. Today we're having a big bowl of sugar frosted you've-got-a-lot-of-explaining-to-do.

Eric: [Cory and Mr. Feeny are about to ride the roller coaster] Cory, get out of that car, it's too dangerous, you'll kill yourself! Mr. Feeny, enjoy the ride!
Mr. George Feeny: [salutes]

Cory: Here comes Feeny. I can just hear him now. "Messieurs Hunter, Matthews, although right now you feel beaten and humiliated, you've learned a valuable lesson... that you should never try to be someone you're blah... blah blah blah. Blah. Blah."
George: Messieurs Hunter, Matthews...
[Feeny begins snickering and laughing heartily as he walks away]

Mr. George Feeny: I know this group as well as anyone living and I will not have it falling apart. Not now!
Cory: So what if we can't fix things?
Mr. George Feeny: Well, then, you will go through life without each other.

Cory: What kind of sick, twisted evil mind would think of an exam schedule like this?
George: Hi Gang.

George: I'm sorry. I don't know what's come over me. I woke up smiling, laughing, humming little tunes.
[starts humming]
George: It's very disconcerting.
Eric: Okay, dude, fix him.

Cory: This day was important to me. Topanga knew that.
Alan: It was a very important day to your mother, too.
Cory: Yes, but it didn't have to be today. Today was our day, you know? "Sometimes things come up." What came up? Mom will still be pregnant tomorrow. This was our first engaged Valentine's Day.
Alan: Cory, your mother needed this.
Cory: I needed to be with Topanga on Valentine's Day. I needed to make up for last year.
Alan: You're being incredibly selfish.
Cory: I'm being selfish because I wanted to spend the one day you're supposed to spend with your girlfriend with my girlfriend. Yeah, I'm a bad man.
Alan: Cory, you spend every day with her.
Cory: What are you saying?
Alan: I'm saying that, yeah, you can be in love with somebody, but the world still goes on around you. Topanga knows that, you don't.
George: This is a lovely party.

Cory: You have to be leaving because of us.
George: Well, I am... But not because of what you've done to me--because of what you've done for me.
Shawn: We haven't done anything for you.
George: You three have given me more gratification in the past four years than I ever dreamed possible. You must know that.
Cory: But you always complained about how difficult we are.
George: Well, you are... But sometimes the things you complain most about are the things that you care most about. Unfortunately, we don't always know that until it's too late.

George: To be somebody special, is a quality from within, Mr. Matthews. To give you an example, I think it's a very rare quality for you to put a friend's welfare before your own.
Cory: But just a second ago, you wanted me to rat on him.
George: As the new principal, yes, but as your teacher, as someone who lived next door and watched you grow up, I never expected it for a moment.

Cory: [after learning Shawn pulled his up average on the test by a whole grade] Shawn got a B? At least one guy learned something out of all this.
George: On the contrary, two did.
Cory: Two? Who else?
George: You, Mr. Matthews.
Cory: How do you know? I didn't take the test.
George: You didn't need to, do you really think I could have gotten you to read "The Diary of Anne Frank"?
Cory: Even if you had, Mr. Feeny, I wouldn't have understood it.

George: Mr. Turner, remember, mid-term grades are due next Friday.
Jonathan: I thought I'd give everybody A's. That way the parents are happy, the kids are happy. Nobody gets hurt.
George: Hurt them.

Eric: I have a question that I'm going to need a yes or no answer to. How many people get into Yale each year?
Mr. George Feeny: No.

Jack: She got sick and said that chicken soup would help her feel better. I told her it probably would. Then I went bowling.
Eric: Guys, I've come to a conclusion: Men are idiots.
Eric,49581: What?
Eric: Wait! There's more! Men are big idiots.
Eric,49581: Hmm... yeah.

Shawn: Stop obsessing, man. You're gonna pop a lobe.
Cory: You're right. I should relax, 'cause this coupling thing, it's just a phase. I mean, how long can it last... a few weeks?
Jonathan: [Enters walking with Ms. Kelly] The cafeteria's right this way. They know me there. I'll get us a good table.
Ms. Kelly: You would do that for me?
Jonathan: Oh, yeah. I'm very tight with Bertha, the lunchroom lady. Yeah, I once rescued a dolphin from her hair net.
Cory: OK, maybe it'll last a few years.
George: [Enters walking with an older, female teacher] Yes, I'm acting principal now, and the pressures would be daunting for a man half my age. Fortunately I have a vitality that belies my years.
Cory: I'm the only one who doesn't know how it's done.

Chet: I'm telling ya man I got business here.
George: Listen, I'm not going to tell you this again. If you're not faculty or staff you have no business on this campus!
Chet: Hey, leave me alone pal. I'm George Feeny and I'm the principal of this here high school.
George: And you're not George Feeny!
Chet: I'm parked in his spot ain't I?

George: You call this a classroom? There are only nine desks. Are we supposed to believe there are only nine students in the whole class?
Matt: Actually, camera angles will make it appear to be more.
George: That's diabolical.

[Shawn and Cory are sleeping in Turner's class, Shawn is snoring and Cory is making a yipping noise.]
Mr. George Feeny: Interesting. In my class, Mr. Hunter handles the yipping.
Cory: [wakes up] Shawn! It's both of 'em!
Shawn: [wakes up and looks around, nervous] Oh no...now I don't know which class I slept through.

George: [reading a note that Cory tried to pass during class] Mr. Matthews wants to know, "is this going to be a make-up party"
Melissa: Sure Cory. You can borrow my lip gloss.
Cory: Out not up! A make-out party!
George: Ah, so it is. Mr. Matthews wants to know if this is going to be a make-out party
Shawn: Not for him.

[Jack and Eric are dressed up as girls to avoid bullies]
Mr. George Feeny: Hmm, double d's, just like your grades.

Mr. Philip Mack: I just want you to know that I forgive you for trying to shut us down.
George: You forgive *me*?
Alan: Easy, George, come on. He's just trying to get a rise out of you.
[to Mr. Mack]
Alan: Look, you're not dealing with gullible little kids here, now, buddy. Now you brought Shawn down, thanks, now why don't you just take a hike back to con-land?
Mr. Philip Mack: Now do you see how judgmental these people are?
Alan: No, no listen!
[He violently shoves Mack against the wall]
Alan: You see! A judgment I made a long time ago is that Shawn Hunter is the best friend that my kid ever had. And I will kill to protect Shawn Hunter from people like you.
[Alan points at him menacingly. Amy touches his arm to calm him down]
Amy: Alan, he would love a lawsuit
Mr. Philip Mack: [Straightens his coat] I think there's a lot of anger here. And I don't feel that this is a healthy environment for Shawn.
George: Well I really don't give a...
Mr. Philip Mack: Look, I know you don't respect my philosophies, but for kids who feel lost and have an emptiness in their lives, I'm here to give them a sense of belonging.
George: You can't have Shawn!
Mr. Philip Mack: That's up to Shawn. And, in any event, there are many more just like him.

George: [to Tony] Might I inquire why you won't release the car?
Tony: It's like I told the kid: you ain't got a license, you ain't getting the car.
George: Aren't.
Tony: What?
George: You aren't getting the car.
Tony: Wrong, pal. I already got the car.
George: No, no. You misunderstand me. I was simply correcting your grammar.
Tony: I don't need talking lessons from a guy who's wearing an earring.

Jack: This isn't about any of that.
Mr. George Feeny: What is it about?
Angela: It's about they're jerks.
Jack: It's about that these friendships aren't what we thought they were.
Cory: Okay, well, boo-hoo to the both of you.
Topanga: Cory!
Cory: No, this is crazy. I mean, we pull a couple of pranks and suddenly we're not friends anymore?
Shawn: What kind of friends were we?
Rachel: Not. Not friends.
Cory: Okay, fine. We're not friends today. I'll see ya tomorrow.

[after an altercation with Cory's grandma]
George: Who is that woman?
Cory: My grandma. Don't you just love her?
George: No. No, I don't.

George: This class will not be more interested in the romantic goings on of its students than it is in whatever the hell I'm teaching!

Eric: It's all about letters, isn't it, Mr. Feeny? I got the wrong letters on my report card, and I'm getting the wrong letters now.
George: I must say, I'm very pleased that you take the idea of college so seriously. It's that determination that just might get you there.

George: Was your aunt Ruthie at Woodstock?
Jonathan: No, I don't think so.
George: Must've been another Ruthie Turner.

George: You see, Mr. Matthews, education is not about obscure facts and little test scores. Education is about the overall effect of years of slow absorption, concepts, philosophies, approaches to problem solving. The whole process is so grand and all-encompassing that it really can't be threatened by the occasional late night no-hitter.

Jonathan: [Miss Tompkins enters the cafeteria] George, George, George!
George: What?
Jonathan: Who dat? Don't look, don't look! Now look.
George: Mr. Turner, we are not in high school! Well, yes, we are but... we are teachers, you fool.
Jonathan: Teach me about her.

Cory: [Two students are making out in the hallway] Mr. Feeny, shouldn't you break them up or hose them down or something?
George: Oh, I wouldn't interrupt their tryst, Mr. Matthews. They're both A-minus students and happily struck by Cupid.
Cory: So, if they were C-minus students, you wouldn't let them kiss?
George: School policy, don't you know.
Cory: So I can't kiss?
George: With your grades, Mr. Matthews, you can't even shake hands.

Jonathan: [to Mr. Feeny] If my kids know their stuff then why do I need a test to prove it?
George: How do you determine that they know their stuff?
Jonathan: Because I know my kids.
George: I know my dog, but I haven't a clue what he's thinking.
Jonathan: You have a dog?
George: Well, no.

Shawn: [There is a massive handpainted sign advertising an illegal rave. As Mr. Feeny walks by, he tears it down. The students in the hall groan] You know, Mr. Feeny, just between you and me, it's stuff like this that really makes you unpopular.
George: Sure. And it's lonely at the top. But I save a lot of money on call waiting.
Shawn: What do you have against throwing an illegal rave?
Cory: Hey, what is a rave, anyway?
George: A rowdy underground party. Get hip, Mr. Matthews.

George: Look at that!
Alan: What are you talking about George? The play's over.
George: I'm talking about the boy in the crowd. Look at the one holding up the sign.
Alan: Which one?
Cory: The one that says, "Hey Feeny. Nothing is impossible."

Jonathan: [When Mr. Turner's class walks out of the classroom] Oh, yeah, I can learn a lot from you, George.
George: Shut up.

Cory: Mr. Feeny, this stinks.
Mr. George Feeny: It's supposed to stink, Mr. Matthews. It's detention. You're being detained from whatever it is you'd rather be doing.
Cory: Well, I think it's a cruel and unusual life-sucking torture.
Mr. George Feeny: You've captured the essence.

Eric: I'm going to travel. Spend two months in my car and see all fifty states.
Mr. George Feeny: How do you intend to drive to Hawaii?
Eric: I'm gonna drive 'til they start speaking Chinese, then hang a U-ie.

Mr. George Feeny: I, for example, have a young neighbor who sings along to his little sister's Barney records.
Cory: You hear that?

Mr. George Feeny: Can we please leave?
Eric: No! We can't leave! I brought you here to help us, Feeny!
Mr. George Feeny: Eric, I would be happy to assist you in any project regarding these people if it stood a chance of succeeding. This one don't.
Eric: You're giving up on us?
Mr. George Feeny: Yep.
Eric: Did you guys hear that? Mr. Feeny's giving up on us. He's never done that before.

Mr. George Feeny: The point is, your advice came from a good place, but Cory and Topanga aren't in the first grade anymore. They made their own decision and I think they'll be fine because they've been well brought up.
Alan: And well taught.
Shawn: Well, I've done the best I can.

Mr. George Feeny: [to a student in his office] After reviewing the disciplinary report from your last school, I was expecting a much brasher young man, but I must say you've been quiet, polite. Now, if this is an attempt to lull me into a false sense of security, I warn you, Griffin Hawkins, nobody pulls the wool over the eyes of George Feeny.
Miss: [enters Feeny's office] Mr. Feeny, Griffin Hawkins is here.
Mr. George Feeny: [confused] Who?
Miss: The new transfer student.
Griffin: [enters the office and shakes Feeny's hand] Hi. I'm Griffin Hawkins. You can call me Griff.
[to the student posing as Griff]
Griffin: Thanks for filling in. I didn't think I'd make it.
[the student leaves]
Griffin: I'm not usually a morning person, but I wanted to make a good impression.
Mr. George Feeny: YOU'RE Griffin Hawkins?
Miss: [glances at Griff dreamily] He sure is.
[laughs]
Mr. George Feeny: Thank you, Miss Gill. You may go.
Miss: Do I have to?
Mr. George Feeny: Yes.
Griffin: [to Miss Gill] Erica, we'll finish up later.
[she giggles as she leaves]
Mr. George Feeny: Take a seat, Mr. Hawkins.
[as Feeny goes over to get Griff's disciplinary report, he sits down in Feeny's chair, much to his annoyance]
Mr. George Feeny: Take ANOTHER seat, Mr. Hawkins.
Griffin: [stands up to sit down in the other chair] I figure I'd be sitting down in this seat, so much, I just wanted to take in the view from your side.
Mr. George Feeny: Mr. Hawkins, I will make this short and to the point. This is MY school. You are a GUEST in MY school and while you're here, you will toe the line and respect the rules. Now, what is your first class?
Griffin: [reads a slip of paper he takes from his shirt pocket] English lit.
[from outside]
Griffin: Hey, kid!
[the same student comes back in and Griff hands him the paper]
Griffin: Room 103 and take good notes.
[the student quickly hurries out]
Mr. George Feeny: Fine, Mr. Hawkins. That frees you up for detention with me.
[Griff now realizes he now messed with the wrong guy]