The Best William McInnes Quotes

Helen: You said it at the Christmas party. You said it four times in November.
Lindsay: Christ, Helen! You can't go off anything a bloke says at a bloody Christmas party!

Lindsay: [seeing Helen and Dale kiss on the dance floor] Ah, fuck's sake.

Jean: Need a moment?
Lindsay: I need a fucking decade.

Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon: Look, what I want to concentrate on now is finding that bloody bulldozer!
Sgt. Nicholas 'Nick' Schultz: [opens drawers] Hmm, not in this one, not in that one.
Sr. Sgt. Tom Croydon: And now you can buy me dinner for that one, boofhead.

Dale: Don't leave on my account.
Lindsay: Mate, I don't think I'd ever do that.

Lindsay: [to the bullpen] Safe to assume there's gonna be a few changes for tonight's bulletin. We don't know how it's gonna play out, but, uh, we're gonna say Geoff won't be coming back, so Brett, you'll be doing sport. Rob, you'll be on the desk with Helen. Thank you.
Rob: Uh, Lindsay.
Lindsay: Yeah?
Rob: Sorry, mate. I'll do sport, but that's it.
Lindsay: No, you'll do what I fuckin' tell you to do. That's your job.
Rob: Yeah, and I appreciate the opportunity, but it's not for me, mate. I'm sorry.
Lindsay: I couldn't give a rat's ass what's for you. Son, I'm trying very hard not to do me rag here, so I'll make it simple. I took you from being a broken-down football player who could barely string two words together, I had your teeth done and now look at you. You are the bloke on the brink of snagging one of telly's biggest gigs.
Rob: And I appreciate it, but, like I say, I just want to do sport.
Lindsay: You walk out on us now, you leave us in the lurch, you will never step foot in this network or any network again.
Rob: Well, then. Thank you for the last five years and I'm sorry it's come to this.

Dale: I just thought we could have a chat about the rehearsal tape I filmed for the desk last year.
Lindsay: Did I watch it?
Dale: Yes, you did. You said it went well and perhaps I might get a crack at some updates in the new year.
Lindsay: Did I tell you this at the Christmas party?

Rob: They're throwing eggs out there now!
Lindsay: What?
Rob: Shit, they've egged my car. That happen to anyone else? Do those protesters have AIDS? I wonder if there was AIDS in what they threw.
Helen: You think they put HIV-positive blood into an egg?
Rob: Yes.
Lindsay: Jesus, come on, everybody!

Lindsay: Upstairs keeps on asking me, 'Is Helen ready to go? Is she ready?' And I want to be able to say, 'Yes, she is a superstar.' But uh... then we have nights like tonight.
Helen: I always come good when it counts.

Lindsay: You know, Helen, no one has gone in to bat harder for you than me.
Helen: I know.
Lindsay: Do you? Because sometimes it seems you forget that.

Helen: Uh, Dennis said that you wanted to talk to me?
Lindsay: Um, calls went up last night.
Helen: For any particular story?
Lindsay: A lot of viewers think you've beefed up a bit.
Helen: [scoffs] Well, thank you so much for holding back.

Sr. Const. Nicholas 'Nick' Schultz: [handing P.J. a pint of Guinness] Here you go.
Sr. Det. Patrick Joseph 'P.J.' Hasham: [sees his "Kiss Me I'm Irish" shirt] Hey, since when has Schultz been an Irish name?
Sr. Const. Nicholas 'Nick' Schultz: Since I took to the Liffey waters, O'Hasham.
Sr. Det. Patrick Joseph 'P.J.' Hasham: [raises beer] Ah ha! Ho-hoo!

Lindsay: [pointing to Noelene who is on the phone with Dale] Oi, is that Darwin?
Lindsay: [after taking the phone from Noelene] Helen.
Dale: Dale, actually.
Lindsay: Bugger off, Dale. Put Helen on, will you?

Lindsay: Mate, how well do you know Helen?
Dale: Uh, we nod hello sometimes.
Lindsay: Then you know she's very, very set on these special reports.
Dale: Right.