The Best Rob Rickards Quotes

Dale: Okay, let's try it again, just with the sign-off we agreed on.
Rob: Oh, come on. That was funny.
Dale: It wasn't.
Rob: It was. Look, Timbo's laughing.

Dennis: Helen chased down an interview.
Rob: [reading the runsheet] An AIDS patient on the desk?
Dennis: Yes.
Rob: Well, Helen could do it alone, couldn't she?
Dennis: Well, mate, how do you think that's gonna work, Rob? We're gonna cut to the desk and you're just not there?
Rob: Yeah.

[as Noelene's family speaks over one another in Korean]
Rob: I learned a bit of French at school, but no Korean, I'm afraid.

Rob: Who's your pick for this Saturday? Demons or Swans?
[Noelene looks around]
Rob: What? I thought you wanted a bit of office footy chat.
Noelene: I do, but I don't want anyone to know you're teaching me.
Rob: Why? What, so I'm banned from talking about the footy with you?
Noelene: In here, yes.
Rob: Everyone else can, but not me?
Noelene: Until further notice.
Rob: Well, we allowed to chat about other topics?
Noelene: Do you have other topics?
Rob: [pauses] Cricket.

Rob: They're throwing eggs out there now!
Lindsay: What?
Rob: Shit, they've egged my car. That happen to anyone else? Do those protesters have AIDS? I wonder if there was AIDS in what they threw.
Helen: You think they put HIV-positive blood into an egg?
Rob: Yes.
Lindsay: Jesus, come on, everybody!

Rob: [whispering] I'm gathering you didn't tell your family.
Noelene: I'm gathering you did!
Rob: Well, anyway, I'm hearing you can come back in on Monday.
Noelene: What?
Rob: Yeah, well, you know bloody Lindsay. He blows a gasket and then a day later he's forgotten all about it.
Noelene: Did you say something?
Rob: Well, I didn't say anything a halfway decent person wouldn't have said. I mean, you're the best one there, Noels.

Noelene: If you ever have any time, will you talk me through a footy game?
Rob: Uh, well, the season hasn't started yet.
Noelene: Even just a tape.
Rob: What, you like your footy?
Noelene: No, but I need to learn. I mean, I see what we play on the bulletin obviously, ut...
Rob: So you've never sat down and watched a game of footy?
Noelene: No.
Rob: [laughs] Noelene, Aussie rules footy is the single best sport on the planet and I am the single best person to explain it to you.

Rob: Are you going? Tomorrow night? Because my invite was 'Rob and Guest.'
Noelene: No, thank you.
Rob: You sure? Just so I can make it up to you.
Noelene: That wouldn't be making it up to me.
Rob: It'd be fun though.
Noelene: And what do you think that would do to my career?
Rob: Nothing? Help it!

Noelene: You already told someone.
Rob: Nah.
Noelene: Jean just came up to me and she knew. You only found out a few hours ago!
Rob: Maybe... maybe she knew from Geoff.
Noelene: She specifically mentioned the speech.
Rob: Maybe she overhead- Maybe someone overheard us talking.
Noelene: No. You told someone right after I said not to.
Rob: Noels, everyone was gonna find out tomorrow anyway! And, you know, if there's any problems, I'll just tell them I was horsing around, being a dickhead, and, you know, you'll be alright.
Noelene: I almost got the sack once because Geoff stumbled over a couple of words and blamed autocue. I almost lost my whole career over two words Geoff stuffed up!
Rob: Alright, I'll call around and tell people I got my wires crossed.
Noelene: Just leave it.

Dennis: What's with the bow tie?
Rob: Uh, Wardrobe gave it to me.
Dennis: April Fools?
Rob: No, it's for tonight. They said it looked great.
Dennis: What were their faces doing when they said that?

Noelene: There is a bar in the city that's serving royal-wedding-themed drinks. They've created a Fergie cocktail, a Di cocktail.
Rob: I'll do it!

[as Rob is trying on a pink bow tie at his desk]
Brett: Oh, mate. You serious about that bow tie?
Rob: Yeah. Yeah, Wardrobe lent it to me.
Brett: Were they serious?
Rob: Yeah, they reckon pink is the big color at the moment.
Brett: Yeah?
Rob: Yeah. Don Johnson. Miami Vice. Always in pink.
Brett: You seen Liberace?
Rob: What about him?

Brett: Oh, mate. You serious about that bow tie?
Rob: Yeah! Yeah, Wardrobe lent it to me.
Brett: Were they serious?

Lindsay: [to the bullpen] Safe to assume there's gonna be a few changes for tonight's bulletin. We don't know how it's gonna play out, but, uh, we're gonna say Geoff won't be coming back, so Brett, you'll be doing sport. Rob, you'll be on the desk with Helen. Thank you.
Rob: Uh, Lindsay.
Lindsay: Yeah?
Rob: Sorry, mate. I'll do sport, but that's it.
Lindsay: No, you'll do what I fuckin' tell you to do. That's your job.
Rob: Yeah, and I appreciate the opportunity, but it's not for me, mate. I'm sorry.
Lindsay: I couldn't give a rat's ass what's for you. Son, I'm trying very hard not to do me rag here, so I'll make it simple. I took you from being a broken-down football player who could barely string two words together, I had your teeth done and now look at you. You are the bloke on the brink of snagging one of telly's biggest gigs.
Rob: And I appreciate it, but, like I say, I just want to do sport.
Lindsay: You walk out on us now, you leave us in the lurch, you will never step foot in this network or any network again.
Rob: Well, then. Thank you for the last five years and I'm sorry it's come to this.