The Best Noelene Quotes

Noelene: There is a bar in the city that's serving royal-wedding-themed drinks. They've created a Fergie cocktail, a Di cocktail.
Rob: I'll do it!

Noelene: If you ever have any time, will you talk me through a footy game?
Rob: Uh, well, the season hasn't started yet.
Noelene: Even just a tape.
Rob: What, you like your footy?
Noelene: No, but I need to learn. I mean, I see what we play on the bulletin obviously, ut...
Rob: So you've never sat down and watched a game of footy?
Noelene: No.
Rob: [laughs] Noelene, Aussie rules footy is the single best sport on the planet and I am the single best person to explain it to you.

Rob: [whispering] I'm gathering you didn't tell your family.
Noelene: I'm gathering you did!
Rob: Well, anyway, I'm hearing you can come back in on Monday.
Noelene: What?
Rob: Yeah, well, you know bloody Lindsay. He blows a gasket and then a day later he's forgotten all about it.
Noelene: Did you say something?
Rob: Well, I didn't say anything a halfway decent person wouldn't have said. I mean, you're the best one there, Noels.

Noelene: The story is only going to get bigger and bigger, for at least a week. I can deliver it all for you if you take me off autocue and make me a producer.
Dennis: Can you at least wait until we've got the bulletin on air before you hardball me?
Noelene: No. Tell me now.
Dennis: [pauses] Fine.
Noelene: Fine?
Dennis: Fine.

Noelene: Shouldn't my work speak for itself?
Dennis: [laughs] Wouldn't that be something?

Dennis: Given recent history, we're not running with that until you've confirmed with at least three sources.
Noelene: We can be the source that confirms it!
Dennis: Noelene, if we go balls out with the biggest disaster ever and you're wrong, you're gonna get sacked again and I'm not gonna be able to defend you this time.
Noelene: You didn't defend me last time. Rob did.
Dennis: That's what he says.

Rob: Are you going? Tomorrow night? Because my invite was 'Rob and Guest.'
Noelene: No, thank you.
Rob: You sure? Just so I can make it up to you.
Noelene: That wouldn't be making it up to me.
Rob: It'd be fun though.
Noelene: And what do you think that would do to my career?
Rob: Nothing? Help it!

Noelene: You already told someone.
Rob: Nah.
Noelene: Jean just came up to me and she knew. You only found out a few hours ago!
Rob: Maybe... maybe she knew from Geoff.
Noelene: She specifically mentioned the speech.
Rob: Maybe she overhead- Maybe someone overheard us talking.
Noelene: No. You told someone right after I said not to.
Rob: Noels, everyone was gonna find out tomorrow anyway! And, you know, if there's any problems, I'll just tell them I was horsing around, being a dickhead, and, you know, you'll be alright.
Noelene: I almost got the sack once because Geoff stumbled over a couple of words and blamed autocue. I almost lost my whole career over two words Geoff stuffed up!
Rob: Alright, I'll call around and tell people I got my wires crossed.
Noelene: Just leave it.

Rob: Who's your pick for this Saturday? Demons or Swans?
[Noelene looks around]
Rob: What? I thought you wanted a bit of office footy chat.
Noelene: I do, but I don't want anyone to know you're teaching me.
Rob: Why? What, so I'm banned from talking about the footy with you?
Noelene: In here, yes.
Rob: Everyone else can, but not me?
Noelene: Until further notice.
Rob: Well, we allowed to chat about other topics?
Noelene: Do you have other topics?
Rob: [pauses] Cricket.