50 Best The Newsreader Quotes

Tim: So, you and Helen, eh? When did that happen?
Dale: What?
Ross: She a bit of a goer? I reckon she would be for sure.
Dale: Uh, there's nothing happening between Helen and I.
Tim: Oh, right.
Ross: Okay.

Rob: They're throwing eggs out there now!
Lindsay: What?
Rob: Shit, they've egged my car. That happen to anyone else? Do those protesters have AIDS? I wonder if there was AIDS in what they threw.
Helen: You think they put HIV-positive blood into an egg?
Rob: Yes.
Lindsay: Jesus, come on, everybody!

Helen: Are you sure you can't just come? Just maybe until the speeches?
Dale: No, I actually have a thing.
Helen: What, like a... like a date?
Dale: No. No. Tim from Camera is having a thing for the comet.
Helen: What, just the two of you?
Dale: No, I think it's all the camera boys.
Helen: Are you sure about that?
Dale: Yeah.
Helen: Are you sure he's not just testing the waters?
Dale: I'm talking about Tim Ahern, the cameraman.
Helen: [laughing] Yeah, I know! Gay Tim from Camera!
Dale: Tim's not a homosexual.
Helen: [laughs] All I'm saying is that every other guy in that camera department's checked me out except Tim.

[after Helen is rebuffed]
Ross: How'd you go? Did you get the story? From here, it kind of looked like he slammed the door in your face.

Evelyn: Do not give that interview! Take a day to collect your thoughts. Do you think if you bury the News at Six, some other network's going to pick you up? They won't! They watch the numbers as closely as anyone.
Geoff: I think you've done enough with your little interventions, Evvie.
Evelyn: My little interventions are the reasons you have held that position for the 30 years you have. Yes, I spoke to Lindsay this morning. I have always been there quietly managing situations. If I hadn't, this moment would've happened years ago. You might have decades of work ahead of you-your best years, mine too-but only if you listen to me!

Tim: Helen seem tense to you?
Dale: No. I think she's just anxious to get the story.
Tim: I heard the two of you had a good night the other night at Geoff's party.
Dale: It's not really that fascinating, Tim.
Tim: [laughs] Pashing a newsreader in front of everyone, I think, is fascinating. Plus, I thought you said nothing was going on.
Dale: Well, there wasn't.
Tim: But then things changed?
Dale: Yeah.
Tim: I guess that happens.
Dale: Guess so.

Noelene: There is a bar in the city that's serving royal-wedding-themed drinks. They've created a Fergie cocktail, a Di cocktail.
Rob: I'll do it!

[as Noelene's family speaks over one another in Korean]
Rob: I learned a bit of French at school, but no Korean, I'm afraid.

Dale: If there is a moratorium against me being on camera, just tell me.
Dennis: Look, you are getting better on camera, but we need someone that doesn't get the channel changed on them. So figure out a way to be that.

Lindsay: You know, Helen, no one has gone in to bat harder for you than me.
Helen: I know.
Lindsay: Do you? Because sometimes it seems you forget that.

Dale: Party started an hour ago.
Helen: I've still got half an hour worth of dressing to do.

Noelene: The story is only going to get bigger and bigger, for at least a week. I can deliver it all for you if you take me off autocue and make me a producer.
Dennis: Can you at least wait until we've got the bulletin on air before you hardball me?
Noelene: No. Tell me now.
Dennis: [pauses] Fine.
Noelene: Fine?
Dennis: Fine.

Helen: You said it at the Christmas party. You said it four times in November.
Lindsay: Christ, Helen! You can't go off anything a bloke says at a bloody Christmas party!

Dale: I feel like I should explain myself. I was in a bit of a strange state yesterday.
Tim: Right.
Dale: It's just the shock of everything. I don't actually remember what happened or in what order.
Tim: So, I was just there. It could've been anybody.
Dale: The shots, adrenaline... I just came to say that whatever happened between us, I hope it doesn't affect things going forward. Because we have been a good team and it would be a shame to lose that over a few seconds.
Tim: It was a solid minute, from what I recall.
Dale: I'm committed to Helen. I care about her deeply. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. So please don't tell anyone.
Tim: Of course.
[Dale turns to walk away]
Tim: It wasn't the shots, by the way. We never drank them.

Tim: You sure you don't want to get out of those pants?
Dale: What?
Tim: They look hot.
Dale: I'm fine.
Tim: What are they? Polyester?
Dale: They're a blend.
Ross: [to Tim] Ooh! 'They're a blend.'

[after spending the night together]
Helen: So how are we gonna leave this?
Dale: Um... I guess we go back to work like we always go to work and then next weekend we could go on a date. Start dating.
Helen: Saturday?
Dale: Friday.

Tim: Why are you killing yourself over this? It's a shit story.
Dale: Given a job, I like to do it well.
Tim: Shooting yourself in the foot, that's what you're doing. You know, if this story comes off well, you're going to be stuck babysitting Rob. Let him stuff it up. That way they'll put him back to sport, put you on camera.
Dale: Are you actually saying the best way to help my career is to do a bad job?
Tim: That is exactly what I'm saying.
Dale: Good advice. Can we just get the shots?

Dennis: Helen chased down an interview.
Rob: [reading the runsheet] An AIDS patient on the desk?
Dennis: Yes.
Rob: Well, Helen could do it alone, couldn't she?
Dennis: Well, mate, how do you think that's gonna work, Rob? We're gonna cut to the desk and you're just not there?
Rob: Yeah.

Helen: Uh, Dennis said that you wanted to talk to me?
Lindsay: Um, calls went up last night.
Helen: For any particular story?
Lindsay: A lot of viewers think you've beefed up a bit.
Helen: [scoffs] Well, thank you so much for holding back.

Lindsay: [seeing Helen and Dale kiss on the dance floor] Ah, fuck's sake.

Dale: [answering the phone] Hi, Mum.
Val: You saw the...
Dale: Yeah. I had nothing to do with it.
Val: You said you'd had no contact with him.
Dale: I haven't. Adam's a... I don't know, he's an activist, I guess.
Val: Someone needs to say something to the Lindells. He shouldn't be coming to your work!
Dale: Don't.
Val: Does Helen know about what he...
Dale: No.
Val: Well, if she has any concerns, get her to ring me. I can tell her what kind of person Adam is, what kind of attacks...
Dale: Mum. He's been through enough. I'll call you tomorrow.

[after an explosion nearby]
Tim: Dale, they've bombed the police building!
Dale: Get Ross! Get the camera!

Val: And the Carlisles. They rang before it had even finished. They said it was fascinating.
Dale: It's just filler, Mum.
Val: It wasn't. You could see Geoff Waters was impressed. He very pointedly said, 'Thanks, Dale.'
Dale: Oh, he always says that. It's in the script.

[after finding out he's being ousted]
Geoff: You're a better performer than Lindsay. I'll give you that.
Helen: I was warned only an hour and a half ago. I had no idea.
Geoff: I want you to come with me right now to the CEO. We'll refuse this together. It's me today, but you will end up in the same position.
Helen: I have no sway...
Geoff: They can't do this unless you agree to keep on script. I'm asking you not to. Now, I've always been very discreet about your personal struggles. I've been encouraged to go to the press. I refused. I always put our partnership above everything.
Helen: That's not how I remember it. Not once since I've been on this desk have you shown me the slightest bit of warmth or defended me or protected me. And I have always known that you would welcome my failure. You've just never had the guts to declare it.

Dale: I just thought we could have a chat about the rehearsal tape I filmed for the desk last year.
Lindsay: Did I watch it?
Dale: Yes, you did. You said it went well and perhaps I might get a crack at some updates in the new year.
Lindsay: Did I tell you this at the Christmas party?

Noelene: You already told someone.
Rob: Nah.
Noelene: Jean just came up to me and she knew. You only found out a few hours ago!
Rob: Maybe... maybe she knew from Geoff.
Noelene: She specifically mentioned the speech.
Rob: Maybe she overhead- Maybe someone overheard us talking.
Noelene: No. You told someone right after I said not to.
Rob: Noels, everyone was gonna find out tomorrow anyway! And, you know, if there's any problems, I'll just tell them I was horsing around, being a dickhead, and, you know, you'll be alright.
Noelene: I almost got the sack once because Geoff stumbled over a couple of words and blamed autocue. I almost lost my whole career over two words Geoff stuffed up!
Rob: Alright, I'll call around and tell people I got my wires crossed.
Noelene: Just leave it.

Helen: [to Dale] I love you just the way you are.

Lindsay: [to the bullpen] Safe to assume there's gonna be a few changes for tonight's bulletin. We don't know how it's gonna play out, but, uh, we're gonna say Geoff won't be coming back, so Brett, you'll be doing sport. Rob, you'll be on the desk with Helen. Thank you.
Rob: Uh, Lindsay.
Lindsay: Yeah?
Rob: Sorry, mate. I'll do sport, but that's it.
Lindsay: No, you'll do what I fuckin' tell you to do. That's your job.
Rob: Yeah, and I appreciate the opportunity, but it's not for me, mate. I'm sorry.
Lindsay: I couldn't give a rat's ass what's for you. Son, I'm trying very hard not to do me rag here, so I'll make it simple. I took you from being a broken-down football player who could barely string two words together, I had your teeth done and now look at you. You are the bloke on the brink of snagging one of telly's biggest gigs.
Rob: And I appreciate it, but, like I say, I just want to do sport.
Lindsay: You walk out on us now, you leave us in the lurch, you will never step foot in this network or any network again.
Rob: Well, then. Thank you for the last five years and I'm sorry it's come to this.

[at a photoshoot]
Photographer: [as Dale walks in wearing a suit] Amazing!
Helen: That one's so much better. You look beautiful
Dale: Just your standard Thursday morning outfit.
Helen: [laughs] Well, we've decided that it's cocktail hour, so...
Dale: We have?
Helen: Yes.
Photographer: Mr. Jennings, if you want to just stand beside her, maybe put your hand on her shoulder.
Helen: Sweet.
Dale: Um, isn't the bulletin at cocktail hour, though?
Helen: Dale, you don't have to fact check the photoshoot.

Tim: Was I the first?
Dale: No, there was someone in high school. A friend. Didn't work out very well.
Tim: Can I ask what happened?
Dale: His father caught us after school one day. They called the police. He said I forced myself on him. And I was taken to the station... in front of everyone. They called me a pervert. I had to change schools.

Dale: I did hide things from you. I'm sorry. The things that I hid are the things that I don't want to exist.
Helen: Are you gay?
Dale: Every time, um, anything happened, I'd tell myself, 'That's it. It's the last time. It's out of my system.' But, you know, I have these feelings. They won't go away. But neither will my feelings for you. And it feels like... it's like being torn apart.
Helen: I was admitted to a mental institution when I was 16 for six months. So... here we are.
Dale: [crying] I can't go up there like this.
Helen: You're gonna be just fine. I'm gonna be right next to you. I love you just the way you are.

Helen: Okay. I'm gonna make a drink. Do you want one?
Dale: Helen, we drank so much on the plane. If I drink any more, I might pass out. But sure.

Dennis: What's with the bow tie?
Rob: Uh, Wardrobe gave it to me.
Dennis: April Fools?
Rob: No, it's for tonight. They said it looked great.
Dennis: What were their faces doing when they said that?

Dale: Okay, let's try it again, just with the sign-off we agreed on.
Rob: Oh, come on. That was funny.
Dale: It wasn't.
Rob: It was. Look, Timbo's laughing.

Tim: Who made the first move?
Ross: She the big spoon or little spoon?
Tim: Big spoon, I reckon.
Ross: Big spoon, for sure. Definitely.
Dale: Can we focus please?

Lindsay: Mate, how well do you know Helen?
Dale: Uh, we nod hello sometimes.
Lindsay: Then you know she's very, very set on these special reports.
Dale: Right.

Dale: Don't leave on my account.
Lindsay: Mate, I don't think I'd ever do that.

Lindsay: Upstairs keeps on asking me, 'Is Helen ready to go? Is she ready?' And I want to be able to say, 'Yes, she is a superstar.' But uh... then we have nights like tonight.
Helen: I always come good when it counts.

Helen: You know, I am a fucking disaster. But I'm also relentless and I'm loyal. I think we can make you a newsreader.

Jean: Val Jennings is at the studio entrance.
Helen: Shit! Okay, um, can you tell her I am unfortunately held up in a...
Jean: [stares]
Helen: Shit! Tell her I'll be 10 minutes.

Brett: Oh, mate. You serious about that bow tie?
Rob: Yeah! Yeah, Wardrobe lent it to me.
Brett: Were they serious?

Helen: I was so nervous about meeting you.
Val: Oh, please. Has Dale met your parents yet?
Helen: No.
Val: Will they be joining us for Easter?
Helen: Um, I don't really have much contact with my family, actually. I haven't since I was a teenager. Things just got all... Just a bit...
Val: It can be a difficult time.
Helen: Yeah.
Val: I made a lot of mistakes when Dale was that age. I'm sure you know.
Helen: No.
Val: Dale's father died when he was 15 and I... I wasn't much of a mother for a good while. I went to pieces, really. Tried to hide it. That made it worse. Dae had to hold me together. For years.
Helen: Well, I know that he adores you.
Val: I'm doing my best to make it up to him. That's all you can do, really, isn't it?

Helen: Is there something wrong?
Dale: Yes. I fucked up with my reporting and my colleague lost her job. Isn't that enough?

Rob: Are you going? Tomorrow night? Because my invite was 'Rob and Guest.'
Noelene: No, thank you.
Rob: You sure? Just so I can make it up to you.
Noelene: That wouldn't be making it up to me.
Rob: It'd be fun though.
Noelene: And what do you think that would do to my career?
Rob: Nothing? Help it!

Tim: Was I the first?
Dale: No, there was someone in high school. A friend. Didn't work out very well.

Dale: You know you're incredible.
Helen: Wait till you get to know me.

Dale: [about Adam] He made allegations against me.
Helen: What kind of allegations?
Dale: When we were teenagers. He said I did things that I did not do. He said I forced myself on him. It wasn't me. It was not me.
Helen: Are you talking sexually?
Dale: We were best friends. We were teenage boys messing around. It was adolescent boy stuff. It wasn't...
Helen: Has anything like this happened since you were a teenager?
Dale: Helen, I love you. I'm in love with you.
Helen: While we were together?
Dale: I'm in love with you, Helen.
Helen: With who? With who? With who, Dale?
Dale: Tim.
[Helen storms out of Dale's apartment]
Dale: For a brief moment, only once, and I stopped it! As soon as it ended, I told him, Helen! I told him that I was committed to you!

Evelyn: [to Lindsay] If you or the network mistreat my husband in any way, I can assure you the public response will be utterly devastating.

Dale: Have you always known who you are?
Tim: Yeah.
Dale: I think we're very different people, Tim.

Photographer: [to Dale] Mate, you look like you've been kicked in the nuts.