The Best Alex Quotes

Alex: Why won't you talk to me?
Hell: Because you gave me crabs.

Alex: Why won't you talk to me?
Hell: Because you gave me crabs!

[deleted scene]
Alex: God is good. God is great. But not all the time, sometimes he could be a real asshole. Praying for 24 years, not one goddamn message on my answering machine. If you're listening and I know you're up there, thanks for all this food, since it's the least you could do. Amen. Let's eat.

Alex: [while having sex on the ceiling] Bring it on! Kinky's my middle name, bitch!