Top 30 Quotes From Diane Pershing

Harley: You'd think after living with Mr. J, I'd be used to a little pain.
Poison: Why do you put up with that clown?
Harley: Don't get me wrong. My puddin's a little rough sometimes, but he loves me, really.
Poison: Sure he does. You're just one big forgiving doormat, aren't you?
Harley: I am not a doormat. Am I?
Poison: If you had a middle name, it would be "Welcome".

[Ivy incapacitates Batman with poison gas on Halloween]
Poison: [reaching down to pull Batman's mask] It's midnight darling, time to unmask.

[the Joker wins the poker game]
Poison: Awww...
Two: No way!
Killer: Forget this!
The: Let me see those cards!

Poison: You go after the wrong people, Batman.
Batman: Poison Ivy. Only you would identify yourself with Demeter, the Greek goddess of plants.

Killer: You'd think one of us would've got 'im by now...
The: I've come the closest.
Poison: Are you kidding? I was the one who nearly...
Two: [pounds the table] Nobody's come closer to stopping the Batman than ME!
[a squabble breaks out, which the Joker ends with a whistle]
The: The fact is each of us has their own "almost got 'im" story to tell...

Poison: Crazy...!
The: I know you are, but what am I?

The: My, haven't you been the busy little bees?
Harley: Puddin'?
The: You were out, so we just made ourselves at home. Hope you don't mind.
Harley: You found me!
Poison: So much for self-esteem.

Poison: Batman. A late night rendezvous? To what do I owe the honor?
Batman: Harvey Dent.
Poison: Oh, the poor district attorney. I hear he's not expected to live. It's so sad.
[feigns crying which turns to maniacal laughter]
Batman: Why, Isley?
Poison: Oh please. Call me "Poison Ivy". You see, Harvey had to pay for his crime.
Batman: What crime?
Poison: Why, murder, of course. Plowing up a field of beautiful wildflowers for that silly penitentiary of his. This little rose would be extinct today if I hadn't saved my precious from those horrible bulldozers. The blood of those flowers are on his hands!
[calms down and smooths hair]
Poison: So his fate was sealed...
[applies lipstick]
Poison: ... with a kiss. And now so is yours.

Batman: Someone is poisoning and robbing wealthy young men. As painful as it sounds, all clues point to your wife.
Dr. Steven Carlyle: That's outrageous. Pamela hasn't...
Dr. Pamela Isley: Darling, please. Batman, I don't doubt that I was your first and probably only suspect. Over the years, you and I have had a rather intense relationship. But that's all in the past. Believe me, I look back on what I was, and I shudder. Locked away in Arkham with the obsessed and the insane, and me just as lost as any of them. And then I met Steven. His love and guidance brought me into the light again.

Two: Poison Ivy.
Poison: It's been a long time, Harvey. You're still looking around halfway decent.
Two: Half of me wants to strangle ya.
Poison: And what does the other half want?
Two: To hit ya with a truck.
Poison: We used to date.
The: Ah.

[last lines]
Summer: [on the news] And so it ended for *ex*-billionaire Cameron Kaiser, and the Joker...
The: Bah! Enough of this rubbish!
[changes the channel]
Poison: Hey! We were watching that!
[nervously, Joker changes it back]
The: [muttering] Ah, you miserable wet tub of no-good losers, you make me sick...

Janet: And so it's Batman's fault you lead a life of crime.
Poison: He should have let me bump off Harvey Dent. We'd all have been better off, wouldn't we, Harve?
Two: [grumbling under his breath] Why, you rotten little... I'll...
Janet: But, Ms. Isley, isn't the real motivation for your crimes your obsession with plants? That you prefer them to people?
Poison: I love plants, honey, but a rose is a rose.
Janet: Then it doesn't bother you when someone - let's say the judge here...
[yanking the flower from Joker's lapel]
Janet: ...ruthlessly plucks a defenseless flower from the warm, green earth.
Poison: No.
Janet: Even knowing he's given it his death sentence?
[plucking petals as she talks]
Janet: That its petals must die?
Poison: Stop it!
Janet: One by one, withering falling, one by one, until it's all gone... honey.
Jervis: [as Ivy leaps in attack, he and Scarecrow pull her off] Ms. Ivy, please!
Scarface: You're beautiful when you're angry.

Chris: Mom! Dad! The Batmobile's outside!
Kelly: It is! It is! We saw it!
[seeing Batman]
Kelly: Whoa.
Chris: Cool. Batman's really here.
Kelly: Mommy, you didn't tell us you know Batman.
Dr. Pamela Isley: Mm-hmm. That was a long time ago, sweetie.

The: [all the villains have weapons trained on Killer Croc, who is really Batman in disguise] Well, well, an impostor in our midst!
Poison: Risking everything for your kitty, Batman?
Two: You're not getting outta this one!
Batman: Maybe
[snaps his fingers. Everyone in the bar turns around and trains guns on the villains]
Batman: but I'm not bad with traps, myself.

Harley: I remember I used to go driving like this with Mr. J...
Poison: [mockingly] "Mr. J., Mr. J.!" Oh, change the record, Harl!

Poison: I hope you realize we're on a toxic waste dump? I'd say you've got about ten minutes to clear out before the fumes do you in.
Rocco: [gagging and spitting out his food] She's right, boss. I'm feeling kind of... sick.
The: Hold it in, Rocco! I'm only staying long enough to collect what's mine.

Poison: [talking to her rose] They can bury me in the ground, as deep as they like. But I'll grow back. We always grow back. Don't we, baby?

[a trio of Frat boys pull up alongside Harley and Ivy, and make some lewd comments]
Poison: Now boys, didn't your mommies teach you that's not the way to get a lady's attention?
Frat: [slaps his butt] And what are you gonna do, spank me?
Harley: That's right, pigs!
[raises a bazooka]
Harley: And here's the paddle!
[yelling, the boys leap out of their car and run just before Harley blows it to pieces]

Janet: Not only does Batman create these so-called super-criminals, he takes it upon himself to be their judge and jury with no regard for the legal system.
Reporter: It sounds like you want to put Batman on trial.
Janet: Believe me, I'd like nothing better.
Commissioner: [turning a TV off] Strong words.
Janet: It's got to stop, Jim. As Gotham's new district attorney, I can't allow your pet nut to run loose in my city. I mean it.

Two: [finishing his "almost got him" Batman story] ... And if it weren't for this blasted coin... I would have got him.
The: Gee, that's too bad, Harv, but I guess you'll always come in second. Anybody else want to go?
Killer: [hits the table] ME! There I was, holed up in this quarry, when Batman came nosing around. He was getting closer... Closer...
Poison: And...?
Killer: I threw a rock at him!
[everyone stares in dead silence]
Poison: So, Harvey, what became of the giant penny?
Killer: It was a big rock...
Two: They actually let him keep it!

Dr. Steven Carlyle: I was her doctor at Arkham. She said she wanted to reform. I trusted her, let her get too close.
Poison: One little kiss, and dear Steven was my slave. He was useful in signing my release papers, and for supplying certain raw materials for my experiments. But the marriage was, well, a fake.
Batman: And these mutations?
Poison: Our children, Batman. Plant-based lifeforms enhanced with Steven's DNA. They're not truly human. In fact, their life spans are somewhat like certain rare flowers that blossom and die in a few days.
Batman: I see. At first it looks like a child. Then it resembles Dr. Carlyle. And in its final phase...
Poison: In its final phase before it burns itself out, the creature becomes my willing enforcer and bodyguard.
Batman: Thief and kidnapper is more like it.
Poison: It costs money to raise a family.
Batman: You haven't changed a bit.
Poison: Yes, I have. I meant it when I said I wanted a family that loves me. I just wanted it on my own terms.

[the Penguin lures and traps Batman in a bird conservatory]
The: Greetings, Batman! You have taken the bait, as I knew you would. Now, prepare to meet your end, within my Aviary of Doom!
Poison: [interrupting] Aviary of WHAT?
The: Yeesh, Pengers! How corny can you get?
The: Fah! Just because you mundane miscreants have no drama in your souls! Anyway, there he was in my av... uh, big birdhouse...

[an enraged Joker has to be subdued by guards]
Poison: Oh, Joker... thanks for the smile.
[the Joker glares angrily at Ivy before he is bundled out of the rec room]

Harley: Hey aren't you that plant lady... Poison Oaky?
Poison: IVY! Poison Ivy!

Harley: [robbing the same museum as Poison Ivy] Nice work, butterfingers. Why didn't you just turn on the Bat-Signal while you were at it?
Poison: I wasn't trying to get caught.
Harley: Could have fooled me.

Poison: This spray is triple-strength, Batman. It will start the transformation without any preliminaries.
[seeing he's not affected]
Poison: He should be sprouting leaves by now.
Batman: [breaking out of his restraints] You made your secret too accessible, Ivy. I coated my outfit with an herbicidal antidote.

[first lines]
[Poison Ivy watches a gardening show, then the Joker strides in and changes the TV channel]
Poison: Hey! I was watching that!
The: And now you're watching this.
Poison: Change it back!
The: [goofy voice] Uh-huh, nope, nope, nope, nope, don't want to.

Poison: I have this natural immunity against poisons, toxins, the pain and suffering of others. Go figure.

Batman: I figured whatever you were up to involved plants, so I pumped your water tanks with herbicide.
Poison: What was the tip-off, Batman? Steven's kids?
Batman: You couldn't replicate them as girls. Not with Carlyle's DNA. So you took your chance with boys.

Bruce: What do you have, Alfred?
Alfred: Well, sir, Ms. Isley is a research chemist with Chez Gerard, the cosmetics firm. She works on the development of new fragrances. Their newest is a perfume called Nightshade.
Poison: [he plays a commercial] It's deadly.
Alfred: Ms. Isley has a PhD in botany from Gotham University, where she offers a monthly lecture series on endangered and extinct plant species.
Batman: [suiting up] I think Harvey's engagement is off.