The Best George Quotes

Cindy: Something weird is going on at your farm. I know it.
George: I don't know what you're talking about. Sometimes a sheep just needs to be pushed through the fence.

George: You guys ever wonder what it would be like to stop livin' up here
[puts hand up in the air]
George: and start livin' down here?
[puts hand down low]
Mahalik: Or what if we stop livin' over here
[puts his hand out to the side]
Mahalik: and move over there?
[puts his hand to the other side]
CJ: Shit, my aunt Shaneequa used to live over there! But that bitch got evicted though.
Mahalik: For what?
CJ: Mice.
Mahalik: I thought she had rats?
CJ: No, rats are outside, mice are inside.
Mahalik: But what if a mouse goes outside does it become a rat, and if a rat is in the house, is it a mouse?
CJ: I ain't seen no mouse outside. That's what I'm sayin'.
Mahalik: That's because it's a rat, fool!
CJ: Damn! You mighta just made fact. That's some real shit right there! A-Ha!
George: Guys, I really don't see what this has anything to do with anything...

Cindy: [hugging George]
[crying]
Cindy: It's so hard.
George: Well, you're a beautiful woman, and you're pressing up against me.

George: [at Brenda's funeral] Sue wanted to pay respects to her teacher. You?
Cindy: Brenda was my bitch.

[Cindy comes home after leaving George to watch Cody and finds George sleeping on the table]
Cindy: Oh my God! What happened?
George: I don't know... we were play this great game, then I looked down and...
[He looks down at his dice]
George: Yahtzee!
[He stands up and bangs his head on the shelf, knocking himself out]

Mahalik: [George is wearing a white hoodie that makes him resemble a KKK member] George, the hood! Lose the hood!
George: I know, we're in the hood now!
Brenda: He's a dead man.
George: [as crowd boos] You guys feelin' me? In the hood?
[does what looks like a Heil Hitler salute]

Alien: Wait please, we mean you no harm. We travel to your planet to find an evil little girl. We must destroy her before seven days.
George: You mean... You watched the video tape?
Alien: Our satellite caught up what we thought was Pootie Tang, that was a week ago. And now our entire race will die, unless the girl is destroyed.
Tom: Aw, you see, they are peaceful.
Mahalik: If they so peaceful, man, why were they choking us a few minutes ago?
Alien: Oh... that's how we say hello.
George: Well how do you guys say goodbye?
[an alien kicks George in the groin]
George: [in pain] I had to ask.

George: I have a dream.
Tom: What is your dream?
George: To have a dream.

George: So, I'll be doing the rap battle at the 23 Club tomorrow night.
Brenda: Oh, I don't believe this shit.
George: Word! You two should come down! I'll be rappin', I'll be cappin', I'll be tappin', I'll be flappin', I'll be happen... ing. Ding, bing, wing. Yo!
Cindy: Sounds good!
George: Would, could, should, 'hood.
Brenda: Ugh!
George: Gug, mug, dug, bug.

George: Sue's teacher, Brenda. She's... She's dead.
Tom: Oh. I better tell her.
George: No, no, no. I can do it. Sue?
Sue: Yes?
George: You know your teacher, Miss Brenda?
Sue: Yeah.
George: She's dead!
Sue: Aah!
George: Gone forever! Died a horrible, painful death! Gone, gone, gone, just like your dog!
Sue: My dog's dead?
George: I just ran him over with the car when I drove in! Everyone you love around you is dying!

George: Now everybody in the 202, throw your hands in the air 'cause Fat Joe is through / Now everybody in the 202, throw 'em up! Check it out / I'm a white boy, but my neck is red / I put Miracle Whip on my Wonder Bread / My face is pale, nah, I've never been in jail / Me and Buffy spend every winter at Vail / How many bitches have I slapped? Zero. Unh! / And Martha Stewart happens to be my hero / I grew up on a farm and I was born with no rhythm / Dr. Phil's my uncle and I like to hang with him / I can't dance / I wear khaki pants / My middle name's Lance / My Grandma's from France / So maybe I'm wack / 'Cause my skin ain't black / But you can't talk smack / 'Cause whitey just struck back