The Best Goku Quotes

[Launch wakes up in her mean form and sees that Goku has slept with her]
Goku: Hi!
Launch: [gasps and back away] What're you doing in my bed, you pervert?
Goku: I slept here, sir. We only have two blankets.
Launch: [growls in fury] LAME EXCUSE, YOU LITTLE HEDGEHOG!
[Launch shoots at Goku]
Goku: Launch, what did you do that for?
Launch: Humph, that'll teach you to get under a blanket while it's in MY bed!
[Goku kicks Launch in the face knocking her out cold]
Goku: That's not very nice!

Bulma: Do you suppose there's a hotel or inn around here?
Oolong: Of course not.
[Bulma looks dismayed. Then she flies into a tantrum, flailing and kicking]
Bulma: No, no! I hate this! I'm hungry! I want a bath! I can't sleep unless I'm in a bed!
Oolong: She doesn't have the greatest personality, does she? Talk about selfish.
Goku: You're one to talk.
[Bulma falls asleep behind a rock. That was fast]

Arale: [introducing Dr Norimaki and his wife Midori] There he is! He's the Doctor!
Goku: [to Midori] Hey there. I mean, hello. How are you?
Midori: Fine. And you?
Arale: [whispers] Goku, over there...
[points at Senbei]
Goku: [to Senbei] Are you his wife?

Krillin: Master Roshi, since you and Baba are related, maybe you can put in a good word for us and she can tell our fortune without any more fighting.
Bulma: That's right. Family helps each other out.
Puar: No more fighting sounds fine with me.
Upa: That sounds great.
Goku: Hmm?
Fortune: Are you kidding me? For family, I charge double!
Master: What? You would refuse your own brother?
Fortune: You bet.

[after Goku made a wish and comes back]
Goku: [shouts in pain] I got to go! That was a long trip! Oh, hurry, hurry!
[Goku undoes his pants and urinates in the lake]
Fortune: [panics] No, you can't do that here! Go find a bush, you animal! People swim in there, you dolt! Think about the poor creatures that live in that water!
Yamcha: [seeing Goku urinate] And he's gonna be famous?
Bulma: Well...

[flying on the Nimbus]
Krillin: Slow down! You know if I lose my grip on you I'll fall through this cloud!
Goku: Well if you would stop thinking bad thoughts, then it wouldn't be a problem!
Krillin: Fat chance!

Krillin: So who are you anyway, his pupil?
Goku: Yeah, I'm Goku!
Krillin: Hmm, doesn't seem that you like fighting.
Goku: I like marshmallows!
Krillin: What's that gotta do with anything?
Goku: Well, I'm hungry. And your bald head looks like one.
Krillin: What did you say? Didn't you know that everyone who's serious about martial arts shave their head? Look at Master Roshi, he shaves!
Master: Nope, I'm naturally bald.

[Bulma opens the capsule to reveal several porno magazines coming out as one lands on Goku]
Goku: Gosh, how sad. These girls must be poor. They can't afford clothes.
Bulma: [angrily loses it] Those girls are not poor, kid!!
Goku: They're not.
Bulma: No, sir, now give me that!
[Bulma snatches the magazine from Goku]
Bulma: [furiously] Isn't there a man on this whole planet with a shred of decency?! Men...are...*animals*!
[Bulma shred up every magazine angrily]

Goku: Quick, untie me!
Launch: [struggling] This rope is so tight!
Master: There's a new invention, it's called a knife!

Goku: Of all the mean dirty tricks to pull... I can't believe it. Right here at lunchtime!

[on the Nimbus]
Goku: Hey Krillin, look! Do you think Master Roshi would like that lady over there?
Krillin: You mean I have to look down?... Goku, that's a man!
Goku: Really? How can you tell? Gosh, they all look pretty much the same to me.
Krillin: Huh? You're joking, right? I mean you really can't tell the difference?
Goku: Well, usually I can figure it out. I just have to touch them first.
Krillin: Hmm? In case you couldn't tell, I'm a boy!
Goku: Oh...

Puar: [comes back to the gang after checking out the base in shock] Yamcha! The base is deserted!
Master: The entire base? That's unbelievable!
Krillin: Goku, do you think after this, you can show me a few tips?
Goku: It was easy once I got started.
Bulma: [awestruck] I can see the headlines now: 'Evil Army Defeated By Child'!
Launch: [disapprovingly] It's just one army!
[dandelion fluff makes her sneeze in her nice form]
Launch: Huh? Silly goose! How are we gonna have a picnic without any food?
[Everyone looks at her in clueless looks]
Puar: [takes her along] Let's take a walk. I'll fill you in on all the details.