The Best Ianto Jones Quotes

Ianto: [the whole earth has been moved in a massive earthquake across time and the universe] A little bit bigger than south Wales, then...

Paul: [on TV] Do you know what? I look up and there's all these moons and things, have you seen them? Do you see them?
[the audience agrees]
Paul: What was I drinking last night? Furniture polish?
[Ianto laughs at the television screen]
Captain: Ianto, time and a place!
Ianto: It is funny though.

General: Dr. Jones, you will come with me. Project Indigo is being activated. Quick march!
Martha: But we can't use Project Indigo. It hasn't been tested, sir, we don't even know if it works.
General: [a panel is opened to reveal a harness-like device] Put it on. Fast as you can!
Captain: Martha, I'm telling you *don't* use Project Indigo, it's not safe.
General: You take your orders from UNIT, Dr. Jones, not from Torchwood.
Martha: [she straps herself into the device] But why me?
General: You're our only hope of finding the Doctor. But failing that, if no help is coming, then with the power invested in me by the Unified Intelligence Taskforce I order you to take this.
[he holds out a small square device]
General: The Osterhagen Key.
Martha: I can't take that, sir!
General: You know what to do! For the sake of the human race!
[She takes the key just as Daleks break onto their floor]
Dalek: Dalek Attack Squad Five reaching north corridor. Exterminate! Exterminate!
General: Dr. Jones
[he salutes her then arms himself]
General: Good luck.
Martha: Bye, Jack.
Captain: Martha, don't do it!
[she pulls the ripcords and vanishes just as General Sanchez is exterminated]
Captain: DON'T!
Ianto: [Jack throws his phone across the room in anger] What's Project Indigo?
Captain: Experimental teleport salvaged from the Sontarans. But they haven't got coordinates or stabilization!
Gwen: So where is she?
Captain: Scattered into atoms. Martha's down.

Unnamed: The shields are down, there's too many of them. Abandon ship! Abandon ship!
Captain: [Jack runs to the monitor] Tha Valiant's down!
Ianto: Air Force in retreat over North Africa, Daleks landing in Japan.
Gwen: We've lost contact with the Prime Minister's plane. Jack! Manhattan!
Captain: [runs to his cell phone] Martha get out of there.
Martha: [bandaging a colleague's head] I can't Jack, I've got a job to do.
Captain: They're targeting military bases and you're next on the list.

Captain: Gwen! Ianto! You okay?
Ianto: No broken bones. Slight loss of dignity. No change there, though.

Captain: I met a soldier in a bar...
[Ianto shoots him a death glare]
Captain: [to Martha] Long story.
Ianto: When was that?
Captain: Strictly professional!