600 Best The Doctor Quotes

[the TARDIS begins rematerializing in front of Martha Jones immediately after it had just left, the displaced air pushing her back]
The: [exiting TARDIS holding his tie] Told you.
Martha: [the Doctor puts his tie back on as Martha speaks] No, but... but that was this morning. Bu - Did you - Oh, my God, you can travel in time! But hold on: if you could see me this morning, why didn't you tell me not to go into work?
The: [in a serious tone] Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks.

Novice: My lord gave his life to save the city and now he's dying.
The: No, don't say that. Not old Boe. Plenty of life left.
Face: It's good to breathe the air once more.
Martha: Who is he?
The: don't even know. Legend says the Face of Boe has lived for billions of years. Isn't that right? And you're not about to give up now.
Face: Everything has its time. You know that, old friend, better than most.
Novice: The legend says more...
The: Don't. There's no need for that.
Novice: It says that the Face of Boe will speak his final secret to a traveller.
The: Yeah, but not yet. Who needs secrets, eh?
Face: have seen so much, perhaps too much. I am the last of my kind. As you are the last of yours, Doctor.
The: That's why we have to survive. Both of us. Don't go.

Professor: I find that nothing's ever exactly like you expect. There's always something to surprise you. Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act...
The: Falls the shadow.
Professor: So the mysterious Doctor knows his T.S. Eliot. I'm impressed
The: Wouldn't have thought you'd have time for poetry, Lazarus, what with you being so busy defying the laws of nature and everything.
Professor: You're right, Doctor. One lifetime's been too short for me to do everything I'd like. How much more I'll get done in two, or three, or four.
The: It doesn't work like that. Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty. It's not the time that matters, it's the person.
Professor: But if it's the right person, what a gift that would be.
The: Or what a curse. Look at what you've done to yourself.
Professor: Who are you to judge me?

Eddie: [realizing that Doctor's getting information that he wants to keep confidential] Hold on a minute. Queen and country's one thing, but this is my house! What the... what the hell am I doing?
[advances on the Doctor]
Eddie: [angry] Now listen here, Doctor. You may have fancy qualifications, but what goes on under my roof is my business!
The: A lot of people are being bundled...
Eddie: [fiercely] I am talking!
The: [stands up and matches Eddie] AND I'M NOT LISTENING! Now YOU, Mr Connolly, you are staring into a deep dark *pit* of trouble if you don't let me help! So I'm ordering you, SIR! Tell me what's going on!

The: It's very well behaved, this place. I thought they'd all be happy-slapping hoodies. Happy slapping hoodies with ASBOs. Happy slapping hoodies with ASBOs and ringtones!

The: Now, then, Doctor! Oooh, new voice. Hello, hellooo, helllloooo! Anyway... why don't we sit down and have a nice little chat where I can tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!
The: Please... please, I'm asking real properly, just stop! Just think!
The: Use my name.
The: Master... I'm sorry.
The: Tough!

[Rose has been discovered and Yvonne shows her to the Doctor via a video on the laptop]
Yvonne: One of yours?
The: [lying] Nope, never seen her before in my life.
Yvonne: Then it will be ok for us to shoot her.
The: [defeated] Oh well, it was worth a try.

Rose: Can't you come through properly?
The: Then the whole thing would fracture. The two universes would collapse.
Rose: So?

[Having: the infinitely recognizable, unforgettable, and surely impossible blue Police Box form she knew as the TARDIS, she turns around to find the school teacher she'd met earlier, John Smith, the man whose name she'd commented as being the same as the alias her old friend used - the friend with whom she'd traveled so long ago in that same impossible box - having seen her back out, trembling and haunted, from that utility closet]
The: Hullo, Sarah Jane.

The: We surrender. There's no need to damage us, we're good stock. We volunteer for the upgrade programme. Take us to be processed.
Cyberman: You are rogue elements.
The: But we surrender.
Cyberman: You are incomptaible.
The: But this is a surrender.
Cyberman: You will be deleted.
The: But we're surrendering! Listen to me, we surrender!
Cyberman: You are inferior. Man will be reborn as cyberman, but you will perish under maximum deletion. Delete, delete, delete, DELETE!
[the credits roll]

The: Ear-pieces; earpods, this world is colliding with another. And I know which one.
[He and Yvonne are surrounded by shadowy figures]
Yvonne: What are they?
The: The advance guard. They came through first.
[the figures begin to tear through the plastic]
The: Cybermen!

The: We need a backup in case they don't reach the auxiliary engines in time. Come on, think! Resources! What have we got?
Martha: [over intercom] Doctor?
The: What is it now?
Martha: Who had the most number ones: Elvis or the Beatles? That's pre-download.
The: Elvis. No! The Beatles. No! Wait, um... um... oh, there was that remix, um... I don't know! I am a bit busy.
Martha: Fine, I'll ask someone else.
The: Now, where was I? "Here Comes The Sun". No, resources!

The: Let me tell you, the French know how to throw a party!
Rose: Where have you been?
The: I think I just invented the banana daquiri a couple centuries early... Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.

The: If they get back in contact - if you talk to Rose - just tell her... tell her... oh, she knows.

Rose: [entering the TARDIS] According to the paper they've elected a ghost as MP for Leeds. Now don't tell me you're going to sit back and do nothing.
[the Doctor suddenly appears from just below the console. He's wearing an odd looking backpack]
The: [in a funny voice] Who ya gonna call!
Rose: Ghostbusters!
The: I ain't afraid of no ghost!

The: [the Tardis is gone] It's the Sontarans; they've taken it. I'm stuck... on Earth like... like an ordinary person. Like a human! How rubbish is that? Sorry, no offense. But come on!

Dalek: The Doctor will stand before the Daleks!
[the Doctor stands]
Dalek: You will die, Doctor. At the beginning of a new age.
Dalek: Planet Earth will become New Skaro.
The: Oh, and what a world! With anything just the slightest bit different ground into the dirt. That's Dalek Sec; don't you remember? The cleverest Dalek ever, and look what you've done to him. Is that your new Empire? Hmmm? Is this the foundation for a whole new civilisation?
Dalek: My Daleks, just understand this; if you choose death and destruction, then death and destruction will choose you.
Dalek: Incorrect! We always survive!
Dalek: Now we will destroy our greatest enemy - the Doctor!
Dalek: But he can help you!
Dalek: The Doctor must die!
Dalek: No! I beg you, don't...
Dalek: Exterminate!
[Thay fires at the Doctor, but Sec gets in the way and dies instead]
The: Your own leader! The only creature who might have led you out of the darkness, and you destroyed him!

The: If you are the Beast, then answer me this: Which one? Because the universe has been busy since you've been gone. There are more religions than there are planets in the sky. The Arkiphetes, quoldonity, christianity, pash-pash, new judaism, Saint Claar, Church of the Teen Vagabond. Which devil are you?
The: All of them.

The: Haven't you got a mobile?
Donna: I'm in my wedding dress; it doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at Chez Alison, the one thing I forgot to say was "Give me pockets"!

The: [answering the phone Martha left with him] Hello.
Martha: Doctor, it's Martha.
[with a smile]
Martha: And I'm bringing you back to Earth.

The: Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than - no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King...

[the Doctor shows Donna the message]
The: Maybe it's a cry for help?
Donna: [takes the message and looks at it] A cry for help?
[turns the message round]
Donna: With a kiss?

Donna: [talking to the Doctor on a cell phone] What's happened? Where are you?
The: Still on Earth; but don't worry. I've got my secret weapon.
Donna: And what's that?
The: You.
Donna: [rolling her eyes] Somehow that's not making me happy.

Donna: I made up the perfect man. Gorgeous, adores me, and hardly able to speak a word. What does that say about me?
The: [a little too quickly] Everything.
[Donna gives the Doctor a look]
The: Sorry, did I say "everything"? I meant to say "nothing". I was aiming for "nothing", accidentally said "everything".

The: We found something. Some sort of seal, looks like it's some sort of metal. I've got a nasty feeling that the word is 'trapdoor.' Not a good word, 'trapdoor.' Never met a trapdoor I liked...

The: Not so different from your time. Look...
[points to a man who is shovelling dung into a bucket]
The: ... they have recycling.
[They pass men standing around a barrel of water]
The: Water cooler moments...
Preacher: And the Earth will be consumed by flames!
The: And global warming.

Lucius: There is nowhere to run, Doctor, and Daughter of London!
The: Now then, Lucius, my Lord Pyrovillian, don't get yourselves in a lava.
The: [to Donna, on "lather" pun] "In a lava"? No?
Donna: [Donna gives a disdainful look] No.
The: No. But if I might beg the wisdom of the gods, *before* we perish: once this new race of creatures is complete, then what?
Lucius: My masters will follow the example of Rome itself! An almighty empire, bestriding the whole of civilization!
Donna: But if you've crashed, and you've got all this technology, why don't you just go home!
Lucius: The heaven of Pyrovillia is gone.
The: What do you mean, "gone"? Where's it gone?
Lucius: It was *taken*! Pyrovillia is lost. But there is heat enough in this world for a new species to rise.
The: Yeah, I should warn you, it's 70% water out there.
Lucius: [contemptuous] Water can boil! And everything will burn, Doctor!
The: Then... the whole planet *is* at stake. Thank you. That's all I needed to know. Donna?

The: Sorry, I've got a bit of a complex life. Things don't always happen to me in quite the right order. Gets a bit confusing at times. Especially weddings. I'm rubbish at weddings. Especially my own.

Rose: [the Doctor enters, singing "I Could Have Danced All Night", seemingly drunk] Oh, look what the cat dragged in, the oncoming storm.
The: Oh, you sound just like your mother.
Rose: What have you been doing, where've you been?
The: Well, among other things, I *think* I just invented the banana daiquiri a couple of centuries early. Do you know they'd never seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose, bananas are good.
[to the droid]
The: Oh, brilliant, it's you! You're my favorite, you are, you are the best, you know why? Cause you're so thick! You're Mr. Thick Thick Thickety Thick-face from Thick-town, Thickania. And so's your dad!

The: Just because I share some physiological traits with simian primates doesn't make me a monkey's uncle does it?
Jenny: I'm not a monkey!

Queen: [Rose and the Doctor kneel before Queen Victoria who is armed with a sword] By the power invested in me by the Church and the state, I dub thee
[taps the sword on the Doctor's shoulders]
Queen: Sir Doctor of Tardis. By the power invested in me by the Church and the state, I dub thee
[does the same for Rose]
Queen: Dame Rose of the Powell Estate. You may stand.
The: [Rose and the Doctor stand up] Many thanks, Ma'am.
Rose: Thanks. They're never gonna believe this back home.
The: Your Majesty, you said last night about receiving no message from the Great Beyond. I think your husband cut that diamond to save your life. He's protecting you even now, Ma'am, from beyond the grave.
Queen: [sternly] Indeed, then you may think on this, also; that I am *not* amused.
Rose: [jubilantly] Yes!
[the Doctor sighs at having lost his bet with Rose]
Queen: Not *remotely* amused.
[the Doctor and Rose straighten their faces]
Queen: And henceforth... I banish you.
The: [confused] I'm sorry?
Queen: I have rewarded you, Sir Doctor, and now you are exiled from this empire, never to return.
[she steps towards Rose and the Doctor]
Queen: I don't know what you are, the two of you, or where you're from, but I know that you consort with stars and magic, and think it fun. But your world is steeped in terror and blasphemy and death, and I will not allow it. You will leave these shores and you will reflect, I hope, on how you came to stray so far from all that is good, and how much longer you may survive this terrible life.
[she briskly steps away from them]
Queen: Now, leave my world and never return!

Colonel: [wearing gas mask, holding assault rifle] latest firing stock; what do you think, Doctor?
The: [also wearing gas mask] Are you my mummy?

Queen: And please excuse the naked girl.
Rose: Sorry.
The: She's a feral child. I bought her for sixpence in old London Town. It's was her or the Elephant Man, so...
Rose: Thinks he's funny but I'm so not amused.

Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The: And I haven't! Which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine!

Cybermen: We have been upgraded.
The: Into what?
Cybermen: The next level of mankind. We are Human Point 2. Every citizen will receive a free upgrade. You will become like us.
The: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what's been done to you. But listen to me, this experiment ends tonight!
Cybermen: Upgrading is compulsory.
The: And if I refuse?
The: Don't.
The: What if I refuse?
The: I'm telling you, don't!
The: What happens if I refuse?
Cybermen: Then you are not compatible.
The: What happens then?
Cybermen: You will be deleted!
[grabs the President by the neck, electrocuting him to death]

The: [to the Sycorax leader] So - do you accept my challenge? Or are you just a clallachpeldassacrissalvac?

[the Doctor uses a 4H pencil and a mug to explain how Donna was transported into the Tardis]
Donna: I'm a pencil inside a mug?
The: Yep! 4H, suits you, actually!

[the Doctor walks around the console, inside the TARDIS. He looks up to see a woman in a bridal gown standing on the other side of the console]
The: [surprised] What?
Donna: Ah!
The: What?
Donna: Who are you?
The: Buh...
Donna: Where am I?
The: What?
Donna: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS PLACE?
The: WHAT?
[Cue end credits]

Captain: So there I was, stranded in the year two-hundred-one-hundred, ankle deep in Dalek dust, he goes off without me. But I had this. I used to be a Time Agent, it's called a Vortex Manipulator. He's not the only one who can time travel...
The: Excuse me, that's not time travel. It's like, I've got a sports car, you've got a Space Hopper.
Martha: Oh, boys and their toys.
Captain: All right, so I bounced.

The: [on Rose's mobile] Rose, where are you?
Cassandra: [aside to Chip] How does she speak?
Chip: Old Earth Cockney
Cassandra: [on the mobile] Um, Wotcha?
The: Where have you been? How long does it take to get to Ward 26?
Cassandra: I'm on my way, guvna'. I shall proceed up the apples and pears.

[about the female roles on stage]
Martha: Those are men dressed as women, yeah?
The: Nothing ever changes in London.

The: [the Doctor rejuvenates] One thing you can't do, is stop them thinking.
[the Doctor hovers upwards and Martha and Jack exclaim]
The: [to the Master] Tell me the human race is degenerate now. Or they can do this!
[Martha runs to her family]
The: NO!
[the Master shoots the Doctor with his Laser Screwdriver, but it has no effect]
The: I'm sorry.
[the Master fires his Laser Screwdriver at the Doctor again but it has no effect]
The: I'm so sorry.
The: [increases the power of the Laser Screwdriver] Then I'll kill them!
[the Master points it at Martha and her family, but the Doctor puts his hand out and the Laser Screwdriver flies out of the Master's hand]
The: [to the Doctor] You can't do this! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! IT'S NOT FAIR!
The: Then you know what happens now.
[the Doctor starts to hover towards the Master]
The: [scared] No! NO! NO! NO!
The: [serious] You wouldn't listen...
The: [cowering] NO!
The: [serious] 'Cause you know what I'm gonna say.
The: [terrified] No!
[the Doctor touches down, the glow of light vanishes, the Doctor kneels next to the Master and puts his arms around him]
The: I forgive you.

[Rose and the Doctor, trapped in Davros' Vault, have just witnessed the "reality bomb" test]
Rose: Doctor, what happened?
Davros: Electrical energy, Miss Tyler. Every atom in existence is bound by an electrical field. The reality bomb cancels it out, structure falls apart. That test was focused on the prisoners alone. Full transmission will dissolve every form of matter.
Rose: The stars are going out...
The: The 27 planets... they become one vast transmitter, blasting that wavelength...
Davros: Across the entire universe, never stopping, never faltering, never fading. People and planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms and the atoms will become... nothing. And the wavelength will continue, breaking through the rift at the heart of the Medusa Cascade into every dimension, every parallel, every single corner of creation. *This* is my ultimate victory, Doctor! The destruction of reality *itself*!

The: Strictly speaking, it's the fifteenth New York, which makes it New New New New New New... New New New New New New... New New New York.

The: You're never gonna see her again, your own mother!
Rose: I made my choice a long time ago. I'm never gonna leave you. Now what can I do to help?

Mr. Stoker: That's only to be expected. There's a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by - anyone?
The: Benjamin Franklin.
Mr. Stoker: Correct.
The: My mate Ben. That was a day and a half: I got rope burns off that kite, and then I got soaked...
Mr. Stoker: ...Quite.
The: ...and then I got electrocuted!
Mr. Stoker: Moving on.
Mr. Stoker: [to a nurse] I think perhaps a visit from psychiatric.

The: Except that implies - in this big grand scheme of Gods and Devils - that she's just a victim. But I've seen a lot of this universe. I've seen fake gods and bad gods and demi gods and would-be gods - out of all that - out of that whole pantheon - if I believe in one thing... just one thing... I believe in her.

Martha: But isn't that brilliant?
The: It is, of course it is, but depends which one. Brilliant, fantastic, yeah. But they died, the Time Lords, all of them, they died!
Captain: Not if he was human.
The: What did he say, Martha? WHAT DID HE SAY?
Martha: [taken aback] He looked at the watch like he could hardly see it, like that perception filter thing...
The: And what about now? Can he see it now?

Empress: [sees a cloaked android walking up the steps, Donna wears a look of horror] My children climb towards me, and none shall stop them! So you might as well unmask, my clever little Doctorman!
The: [pulls off the cloak] Oh well, nice try!
[pulls out sonic screwdriver and points it to the web]
The: I've got you Donna!
Donna: I'm gonna fall!
The: No you're not, you're gonna swing! I've got ya!
[she swings in a whole level under his stairs and falls; silence as pipes clatter to the ground]
The: Oh! Sorry...
Donna: [pan to Donna flat on the ground] *Thanks* for *nothing!*
Empress: The Doctorman amuses me!
The: Empress of the Racnoss, I give you one last chance. I can find you a planet, I can find you and your children a place in the universe to coexist. Take that offer and end this *now*.
Empress: [hisses] These men are so funny!
The: What's your answer?
Empress: [scoffs] I'm afraid I'll have to decline!
[cackles]
The: Then what happens next is your own doing.
Empress: I'll show you what happens next!
[hisses, then calls to her Roboforms]
Empress: At arms!
[They raise their weapons]
Empress: Take aim!
[They aim at the Doctor]
Empress: And...
The: Relax.
[They suddenly deactivate and power down]

Sontarans: We have an intruder!
The: Did he get in tru der window?

Rose: It said I would die in battle.
The: Then it lied.

The: Professor! Let me in! I'm begging you, professor! Professor! Chantho, are you there? Professor, whatever you do, DON'T OPEN THAT WATCH!

[repeated line]
The: Allons-y!

Martha: What are Judoon?
The: They're like police. Well, police for hire. They're more like interplanetary thugs.
Martha: And they brought us to the moon?
The: Neutral territory. According to Galactic Law, they got no jurisdiction over the Earth and they isolated it.

Donna: Next thing you know, you're gonna be telling me it's like 'Murder on the Orient Express', and they all did it.
Agatha: 'Murder on the Orient Express'?
Donna: Oh, yeah. One of your best.
The: But not yet.
Agatha: Marvelous idea, though.
Donna: Yeah. Tell you what. Copyright: Donna Noble. Okay?
The: Anyway...

The: Oh, look, they've got nibbles! I love nibbles.

The: [about the Olympics] It only seems like yesterday, a few Greek blokes were tossing a discus about, wrestling with each other in the sand and the crowd stood around... no, wait a minute that was Club Med!

Joan: I'm Sorry, John. But you wrote about it. The Blue Box. You dreamt of a blue box.
John: I'm not...
[tearful]
John: I'm John Smith, that's all I want to be, John Smith. With his life... and his job... and his love. Why can't I be John Smith? Isn't he a good man? Why can't I stay?
Martha: But we need the Doctor.
John: Who am I then? Nothing...? I'm just a story?

Agatha: You make a rather unusual couple.
The: [together] Oh, no no no no, we're not married.
Donna: [together] Yeah, we're not a couple.
Agatha: Well, obviously not. No wedding ring.
[Donna and the Doctor exchange admiring glances]
The: Oh, oh! You don't miss a trick.

River: If you die here, it will mean I never met you!
The: Time can be rewritten!
River: Not those times. Not one line. Don't you dare.

The: Black tie... Whenever I wear this, something bad always happens.
[thinking about the events of "Rise of the Cybermen"]
Martha: That's not the outfit, that's just you. But anyway, I think it suits you. In a... James Bond kinda way.
The: *James Bond*? Really...

The: My head!
[groans in pain]
The: I'm having a neuron implosion... I need...
Jackie: What do you need?
The: I need...
Jackie: Just say it!
The: I need...
Jackie: Tell me, tell me, tell me!
The: I need...
Jackie: Painkillers!
The: I need...
Jackie: D'you need aspirin?
The: I need...
Jackie: Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
The: I need...
Jackie: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
The: I need...
Jackie: Is it food? Something simple? Bowl of soup? Nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Bowl of soup and a nice ham sandwich?
The: I *need* you to *shut up*!
Jackie: Oooh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?

The: I'm unique - never been another like me, 'cause all that regeneration energy went into the hand. Look at the hand - I love that hand - but then you touched it. *Wham!*
[Donna startles]
The: Shhhh! Instantaneous biological metacrisis! I grew... out of you. Still, could be worse...
Donna: Oi! Watch it, spaceman!
The: Oi! Watch it, earthgirl!
[Donna is taken aback]
The: Oooh... I sound like you! I sound all - all sort of... rough!
Donna: Oi!
The: Oi!
Donna: Oi!
The: Spanners, shhhhh! Must've picked up a bit of your voice, that's all - is it? Did I? No! Ohhh, you are kidding me, no way! One heart - I've got one heart. This body... has got only one heart!
Donna: [Donna feels his heart beating] What, like, you're human?
The: Awww, that's disgusting!
Donna: Oi!
The: Oi!
Donna: *Stop it!*
The: [suddenly realizing] No, wait, I'm... part-Time Lord, part human! Well, isn't that wizard?

Professor: It's just a headache. It's just this noise inside my head, Doctor. Constant noise inside my head.
The: What sort of noise?
Professor: It's the sound of drums. More and more, as though it's getting closer.
The: When did it start?
Professor: I've had it all my life, every waking hour. Still, no rest for the wicked.

Rose: I've been to the year five million, but this, this is really seeing the future- you just leave us behind! Is that what you're going to do to me?
The: No. Not you.
Rose: But, Sarah Jane- you were that close to her once, and now... you never even mention her. Why not?
The: I don't age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you...
Rose: What, Doctor?
The: You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on, alone. That's the curse of the Timelords.

The: [examining Donna at hyper-speed with various medical items] There is no way a human being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside! It must be some atomic connection, disruption? Something in the temporal field? Something pulling you into the chronon shell! Maybe something macro-binding your DNA with the interior matrix! Maybe a genetic...
Donna: [slaps him hard upside the face]
The: [picks himself up, completely shocked] What was that for?

Rose: What do you think of this? Will it do?
The: In the late 1970s, you'd be better off in a bin bag. Hold on, listen to this.
[switches: "Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick"]
Ian: [singing] Das ist gute, es fantastique
The: Ian Dury and The Blockheads. Number one in 1979.
Rose: [laughing] You're a punk!
The: [singing along] It's good to be a lunatic
Rose: That's what you are: a- a big old punk, with a bit of... rockabilly thrown in.
Lady: [scream leaks into the TARDIS, they don't notice, sounding like a saxaphone squeal]
The: Would you like to see 'im?
Rose: How d'you mean, in concert?
The: What else is a TARDIS for? I can take you to the Battle of Trafalgar, the First Antigravity Olympics, Ceasar crossing the Rubicon, or... Ian Dury at the Top Rank, Sheffield, England, Earth, 21st November, 1979. What do you think?
Rose: Sheffield it is.
The: Hold on tight.
Lady: [scream continues as the TARDIS shoots off, warbling, into the time vortex]
Ian: [as the Doctor hits the controls with a rubber mallet to the rhythm] Hit me with your rhythm stick / Hit me
The: Aaaah!
Ian: Hit me / Das ist gute, ce fantastique
[the TARDIS lands with a thud, stopping the music and throwing Rose and the Doctor laughing onto their backs]
Rose: Ooh!
The: Ha ha ha ha ha! 1979! Hell of a year! China invades Vietnam.
The: [grabs his coat] "The Muppet Movie", *love* that film. Margaret Thatcher, urgh.
The: [puts coat on] Skylab falls to Earth, with a little help from me. Nearly took off my thumb.
The: [exits TARDIS] And I like my thumb; I need my thumb; I'm very attached to...
The: [rifles cock in their direction] ... my thumb.
[the Doctor and Rose raise surrender-hands]
The: *18*79. Same difference.

The: [Caan killed Solomon in front of all of Hooverville] Daleks! All right, so it's MY turn! Then kill me! Kill me if it'll stop you attacking these people!
Dalek: I will be the destroyer of our greatest enemy!
The: Then do it! Just do it! DO IT!

The: [on the DVD] The Lonely Assassins, that's what they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the Universe, or very nearly. And they have survived this long because they have the most perfect defense system ever evolved. They are Quantum Locked. They don't exist when they are being observed. The moment they are seen by any other living creature they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing, they literally turn into stone. And you can't kill a stone. Of course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you blink. Then, oh yes, it can.
Sally: [to Larry, about a nearby statue] Don't take your eyes off that.
The: [on the DVD] That's why they cover their eyes. They're not weeping, they can't risk looking at each other. Their greatest asset is their greatest curse. They can never be seen. Loneliest creatures in the Universe. And I'm sorry. I am very, very sorry. It's up to you now.

[the Doctor and Sky are speaking simultaneously]
The: Now then, Sky. Are you Sky?
The: Is Sky still in there? Mrs Silvestry?
The: You know exactly what I am going to say, how are you doing that?
[the Doctor pauses]
The: Roast beef. Bananas. The Medusa Cascade.
[the Doctor moves closer to Sky]
The: [loudly] Bang!
The: [rapidly] Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, Tardis!
The: [speaking normally] Shamble, booble, dibble, dooble.
The: Oh Doctor, you're so handsome! Yes, I am thank you!

Donna: What if I said something in actual Latin? Like, "Veni, vidi, vici"? My dad said that when he came back from football. If I said, "Veni, vidi, vici," to that lot, what would it sound like?
The: I'm not sure. You have to think up difficult questions, don't you?
Donna: [excited] I'm gonna try it!
Stallholder: A'ernoon, sweetheart. What can I get ya, my love?
Donna: Um, "Veni, vidi, vici."
Stallholder: Huh? Sorry?
Stallholder: [slowly and loudly] Me no a-speak Celtic. No can do, missy.
Donna: [sarcastically] Yeah!
Donna: [to The Doctor] How's he mean, Celtic?
The: Welsh. You sound Welsh. There we are. Learnt something.

The: Mr. Shakespeare, isn't it?
William: Oh, no. No no no. Who let you in? No autographs, no you can't have yourself sketched with me, and please don't ask where I get my ideas from. Thanks for your interest, now be a good boy and shove...
[he then notices Martha]
William: Hey, nonny nonny!

The: Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and DON'T blink.

The: [drunk and talking to a robot] It's you! You're my favourite! You are the best, you know why? Cause you're so thick! You're mister thick thickity thick face from thicktown thickannia. And so is your Dad!

Rose: Who is she?
The: Jeanne-Antionette Poisson, known to her friends as Reinette. One of the most accomplished women who ever lived.
Rose: Has she got plans on being the queen, then?
The: No, he's already got a queen. She's got plans on being his mistress.
Rose: Oh, I get it. Camilla!

Donna: There is a giant wasp!
The: What do you mean a giant wasp?
Donna: I mean a wasp, that's giant!
Agatha: It's only a silly little insect.
Donna: When I say giant, I don't mean big, I mean flipping enormous! Look at its sting.

The: Ward 26. And watch out for the disinfectant.
Rose: Watch out for what?
The: The *disinfectant*!
Rose: The what?
The: *The disin... * - oh, you'll find out.

John: So your job was to execute me?

Rose,14489: Hi!
Eddie: Who are you then?
The: Let's see then, judging by the look of you, family man, nice house, decent wage, fought in the war, therefore I represent Queen and country! Just doing a little check of her forthcoming Majesty's subjects before the great day. Don't mind if we come in? Nah, didn't think you did.

The: That's there song.
Donna: I can't hear it.
The: Do you want to?
Donna: Yeah.
The: It's the song of captivity.
Donna: Let me hear it.
The: Face me.
[the Doctor link his mind with Donna's]
The: Open your mind, listen. Hear it Donna. Hear the music.
[the Song of Captivity plays]
Donna: [Crying] Take it away!
The: You sure?
Donna: I can't bear it!
[the doctor takes it away]
Donna: I'm sorry.
The: It's okay.
Donna: But you can still hear it.
The: All the time

Solana: [addressing the Doctor and Donna] Doctor Noble, Mrs. Noble, if you'd like to come with me.
The: [rapid fire with Donna's lines] Oh, no. No, no, no. We're not married.
Donna: *So* not married.
The: Never.
Donna: Never, ever!
Solana: [politely] Of course.

The: [drunkenly] You're so thick you probably think this is a glass of wine.
The: [pours "wine" over robot who stops moving]
The: Multi-Grade Anti-Oil! "If it moves, it doesn't!"

The: Now we're in trouble.

Donna: [to the Doctor] What is it? What else?
[the Doctor jolts his hands out, miming a shock]
Donna: Um, it's a song! 'Mammy'? Um, I don't know! 'Camptown Races'?
The: 'Camptown Races'?
Donna: Well! All right, then! 'Towering Inferno'!
The: It's a shock! Look, shock!
[he mimes again]
The: I need a shock!
Donna: Right, then. Big shock. Coming up.
[Donna grabs the Doctor and plants a full-frontal kiss on him. The Doctor staggers away, lifts his face up to the ceiling and releases a cloud of poisons from his body]
The: [gasps] Detox. Oh! I must do that more often.
[looks at Donna apprehensively]
The: I mean, the, the detox.
Agatha: Doctor. You are... impossible!
[the Doctor winks]
Agatha: Who are you?

Rose: [crying] I... I love you.
The: [with a weak smile] Quite right too.
[pause]
The: And I suppose... if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler...
[fades away]

The: [reading Reinette's mind] If there's anything you don't want me to see, just imagine a door, and close it.
[pause]
The: Actually, there's a door there, you may want to just... ooh...
[Reinette smiles mischievously]

[mouthing words silently and exaggeratedly]
The: Donna?
Donna: Doc-tor!
The: Wh - what - w - what?
Donna: Oh! My! *God*!
The: How?
Donna: [pointing at her face with both hands] It's me!
The: [nodding, gesturing to eyes, then Donna] Yeah, I can see that.
Donna: [pointing to where she's standing, then two thumbs up] Oh, this... is... *brilliant*!
The: [pointing thrice at Donna] W - wha - what the hell are *you* *doing* *there*?
Donna: [pointing to eyes, then at The Doctor] I... was looking... for... you!
The: [points at self questioningly] What for?
Donna: [miming reading the paper] Read it...
Donna: [typing fingers in the air] ... on the Internet...
Donna: [wiggling fingers around mouth] ... so weird...
Donna: [walking fingers] ... crept along...
Donna: [thumb into room, hand-as-mouth] ... heard them talking...
Donna: [ducks down, comes back up, points] ... looked, ah! *You*!
The: [imperceptibly nods]
Donna: [thumbs back at Miss Foster, looks, freezes] Th...
[Miss Foster has stopped talking and is staring at Donna. Miss Foster turns and looks right at The Doctor. The Doctor turns to see Miss Foster]
Miss: [aloud] Are we interrupting you?

The: Cardiff!
Martha: Cardiff?
The: Ah but, the thing about Cardiff - it's built on a rift in time and space - just like... California on the San Andreas Fault. But the rift bleeds energy. Every now and then I need to open up the engines, soak up the energy, and us it as fuel!
Martha: So it's a pit stop!
The: Exactly. Should only take a few seconds. The rift's been active.

The: We haven't got much time. If there's pilot fish then... why is there an apple in my dressing gown?
Jackie: Oh, that's Howard's, sorry.
The: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
Jackie: He gets hungry...
The: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
Jackie: Sometimes.

The: Ten seconds. That's all I'll be able to take. No more. Ahh, ahh, ahhh! Martha!
Martha: Yeah?
The: It's burning me up. I can't control it. If you don't get rid of it, I could kill you. I could kill you all.
[lets out a groan of pain]
The: I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Martha: Just stay calm. You saved me, now I return the favor. Just believe in me.

The: [the shadows are advancing] Don't play games with me! You just killed someone I like, that is not a safe place to stand! I'm the Doctor, and you're in the biggest library in the Universe. Look me up.
[the shadows stop advancing, pause, and shrink rapidly]

Billy: Where am I?
The: 1969. Not bad as it goes. You've got the moon landing to look forward to.
Martha: Oh, the moon landing's brilliant. We went four times. Back when we had transport...
The: Working on it!

The: Sorry, I'm the Doctor, I'm very clever.

[possessed by the sun]
The: Burn with me. Burn with me, Martha.

Donna: So the Source could be a weapon and we've just given directions to Captain Nut-Job?
The: Oh, yes.
Donna: [sighs] Not good, is it?

[the Judoon cock their guns. The Doctor and Donna Noble put their hands up]
Judoon: Scopo trono frojo kofo todo.
The: Nobo hosho koro toso. Bokatosa fopapapajo.
[the Judoon stand down. The Doctor and Donna Noble lower their arms]
The: Maho.

The: Tomorrow they launch. We're opening up a rift in the Bracatolian Space. Won't see us coming. Be kind of scary.
The: Then stop.
The: Once the Empire is established and there's a new Gallifrey in the heavens, maybe then it stops. The drumming. The never-ending drumbeat.

The: No, tonight is the Yew Tree Ball. Tonight you dance with the king!
Reinette: [with suppressed glee] Then first I shall make him jealous.

The: It should be full. It should be busy, something's wrong.
Astrid: But it's beautiful.
The: Really? You think so? It's just a street. The pyramids are beautiful, and New Zealand.
Astrid: It's a different planet, I'm standing on a different planet. The-there's concrete, and shops, real alien shops! Real alien shops. Look, no stars in the sky. And it smells. It STINKS! This is amazing! "Thanks you!
The: Come on then, let's have a look.

The: [Doctor has just regenerated a new hand] This new hand, it's a fightin' hand!

Rose: No! You're not keeping the horse!
The: Why not? I let you keep Mickey!

The: The Toclafane... what are they?
[the Master bends closer and mimes that he can't hear him]
The: Who are they?
The: Doctor, if I told you the truth, your hearts would break.

Empress: Robo-forms are not necessary. My children may feast on Martian flesh.
The: Oh, but I'm not from Mars.
Empress: Then where?
The: My home planet is far away and long since gone. But its name lives on.
[a pause, then sad and strong and proud]
The: Gallifrey.

Martha: Doctor, it's the Professor. He's got this watch, this fob watch that's the same as yours. Same writing, same everything.
The: [looking terrified] Don't be ridiculous.
Martha: I asked him, he said he's had it his whole life.
Captain: So, he's got the same watch.
Martha: But it's not a watch, it's a thing, a chameleon thing.
The: No, no, no, it's this thing, this device, it re-writes biology. Changes a Time Lord into a human.
[Jack looks up]
Martha: And it's the same watch!
The: [desperately] It can't be.
Captain: That means he could be a Time Lord. You may not be the last one.

Agatha: Death comes as the end and justice is served.
The: 'Murder at the Vicar's Rage'.
[pause]
The: Needs a bit of work.

Captain: Still, at least we made it. Earth, twenty-first century by the looks of it. Talk about lucky.
The: That wasn't luck. That was me.

Donna: So, we weren't just in the neighborhood.
The: Yeah, I kind of, sort of... lied a bit. I got a message on the psychic paper.
[the Doctor shows Donna the psychic paper]
Psychic: [appearing as hand-printed text] The Library. Come as Soon as you can. X
The: What do you think: cry for help?
Donna: [taking the paper] Cry for help, with a kiss?
The: Oh, we've all done that.
Donna: Who's it from?
The: No idea.
Donna: [a "buzz-tink" sounds down the hall as she speaks] So why did we come here? Why did you-?
The: Donna?
["Buzz-tink." Down the hall, "buzz-tink," a bank of lights go out. "Buzz-tink," and another]
Donna: What's happening?
The: *Run*!
[They run down the hall as more lights "buzz-tink" off. They arrive at a set of doors and try to get them open]
Donna: What? Is it locked?
The: Jammed! The wood's warped!
Donna: Sonic it! Use the thingy!
The: I can't, it's wood!
Donna: Oh! What, it doesn't do wood?
The: Hang on, hang on, if I can vibrate the molecules, fry the bindings, I can shatterline the interface...
Donna: Oh, get out of the way!
[With a mighty kick from Donna, she and the Doctor barge in. They quickly close the door and the Doctor bars it with a book through the handles. Leaning against the door and relaxing briefly, they notice they're not alone]
The: Oh! Hello! Sorry to burst in on you like this. Okay if we stop here for a bit?
The: [gasps and her eyes fly open in her living room; in The Library an ornately carved floating wooden sphere where she was standing shuts its lens cover and drops to the floor]

Sally: What am I supposed to do?
The: The blue box, it's my time machine. There is a world of time energy in there that they could feast on forever, but the damage they would do could switch off the sun. You have got to send it back to me.
Sally: How?... *How*?
The: And that's it, I'm afraid. There's no more from you on the transcript, that's the last I've got. I don't know what stopped you talking but I can guess: they're coming. The angels are coming for you, but listen, your life could depend on this: don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast, faster than you could believe. Don't turn your back, don't look away, and *don't blink*! Good luck.
[video stops]

The: Professor, it's a wild stab in the dark, but I just may have found you a way out.
[Yana looks at the TARDIS with a horrified look on his face]

The: That's what I am: just a traveler. Imagine it: no tax, no bills, no boss. Just the open sky.

The: [the Doctor is transmitting his image from the TARDIS] Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have.
Rose: [crying] Am I ever going to see you again?
The: You can't.
Rose: What are you going to do?
The: I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. The last of the Time Lords.
Rose: On your own?
[the Doctor nods]

[first lines]
The: Jackie, Mickey, blimey! No, no, no, no, hold on. Wait there! I've got something to say. I've got something I had to tell you. Something important, what was it? No, no, no, hold on. Tch tch tch tch... Oh, I know! Merry Christmas!

The: [on the verge of collapsing again] The pilot fish... the pilot fish mean... something... something... something's coming...

[last lines]
The: Now then, close down the gravitic anomalizer, fire up the helmic regulator, and finally, the handbrake. Ready?
Martha: [smiling] No.
The: Off we go.
[the Doctor pulls down a lever and the TARDIS violently shudders into takeoff, tossing them both off-balance]
Martha: Blimey, it's a bit bumpy!
The: Welcome aboard, Miss Jones!
Martha: [shaking his hand across a console panel] It's my pleasure Mister Smith.
[trailer for next episode, then credits]

The: Answer me honestly. Am I ginger?
Rose: No, you're just kinda... brown.
The: Aww, I wanted to be ginger!

The: The Macra used to be the scourge of this galaxy. Gas... they fed off gas, the filthier the better. They built up a small Empire, using humans as slaves and mining gas for food.
Businessman: They don't exactly look like empire-builders to me.
The: Well, that was billions of years ago. Billions. They must have devolved down here; now they're just beasts. But they're still hungry. And my friend's down there.

The: Okay, okay. Tch, tch. First things first. One: we're going to climb through this ship. B... no... two: we're going to reach the bridge. Three - or C: we're going to save the Titanic. And, coming in a very low Four or D or that little "iv" in brackets they use in footnotes... why. Right then, follow me.

[after Jenny blew up the tunnel]
The: Why did you do that?
Jenny: They were trying to kill us.
The: But they've got my friend!
Jenny: Colateral damage. At least you've still got her.
[looks at Cline]
Jenny: He lost both his men. I'd say you came out ahead.
Donna: Her name's Martha! And she's not collateral damage. Not for anyone. Have you got that, GI Jane?!

The: The last time, with Martha, it got complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.
Donna: You just want to mate?
The: I just want *a* mate!
Donna: You're not matin' with me Sunshine!
The: A mate! I want *a* mate!
Donna: Well, just as well, because I'm not having any of that nonsense! I mean, you're just a long streak of nothing, y'know, alien nothing!

The: I gave them the wrong warning. I should have told them to run, as fast as they can. Run and hide, because the monsters are coming - the human race.

The: I can't help it. I'm a Time Lord. It's instinct; it's in my guts. You're a fixed point in time and space; you're a fact. That's never meant to happen. Even the TARDIS reacted against you, tried to shake you off. Flew all the way to the end of the universe just to get rid of you.
Captain: So what you're saying is... you're prejudiced?
The: I never thought of it like that.
Captain: Shame on you.

The: Allons-y, Alonso!

The: Really shouldn't take that long just to reverse the polarity. I must be a bit out of practice.

The: There's no room on Earth for another race of people.

The: [about the telescope] It's a bit rubbish. How many prisms has it got? Way too many... the magnification's gone right over the top, that's a stupid kind of -
[aside to ROSE]
The: - am I being rude again?
Rose: Yup.
The: But it's pretty! Very... pretty!

Donna: Who was it? Who's paying you? Was it Nerys? Oh my God, she's finally got me back! This has got Nerys written all over it!
The: Who the hell is Nerys?
Donna: Your best friend!
The: Hold on, what are you dressed like that for?
Donna: [sarcastically] I'm going tenpin bowling. WHY DO YOU THINK, DUMBO? I was halfway up the aisle! I've waited my whole life for this, it's seconds away, and then you, I don't know, drugged me or something!

The: That's the city of New New York.
Rose: No, seriously?
The: Well, technically it's the 15th city with that name, so it'd be New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New York.
Rose: [laughs] You're so... different.
The: I'm the new new doctor.

Sarah: I thought you died. I waited for you and you didn't come back and I thought you must have died!
The: I lived. Everyone else died.
Sarah: What do you mean?
The: Everyone died, Sarah.

River: Doctor, one day I'm going to be someone that you trust completely, but I can't wait for you to find that out, so I'm going to prove it to you. And I'm sorry, I'm really very sorry.
River: [whispers something in the Doctor's ear]
River: Are we good? Doctor, are we good?
The: [stunned] Yeah, we're good.

The: [knocks on the TARDIS door] We'll be late for cocktails!
[TARDIS door opens, Donna steps out, wearing 1920s dress]
Donna: What d'you think? Flapper? Or slapper?
The: [smiles] Flapper. You look lovely.

Captain: But all the legends of Gallifrey made it sound so perfect.
The: Well, perfect to look at, maybe. And it was, it was beautiful. They used to call it the Shining World of the Seven Systems. And on the continent of Wild Endeavour, in the mountains of Solace and Solitude, there stood the Citadel of the Time Lords. The oldest and most mighty race in the universe. Looking down on the galaxies below, sworn never to interfere, only to watch. Children of Gallifrey were taken from their families at the age of eight to enter the Academy. Some say that's where it all began, when he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism. It's a gap in the fabric of reality through which could be seen the whole of the vortex. We stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of time and space, just a child. Some would be inspired. Some would run away. And some would go mad.
Martha: What about you?
The: Oh, the ones that ran away, I never stopped.

The: We're accelerating into the future. The year one billion, five billion, five trillion, fifty trillion... What? The year one hundred trillion? That's impossible!
Martha: Why? What happens then?
The: We're going to the end of the universe.
[Captain Jack Harkness is seen in the time vortex hanging onto the TARDIS]
Captain: [shouts] Doctor!

Yvonne: According to the records, you're not one for traveling alone. The Doctor and his companion - that's a pattern, isn't that right? There's no point in hiding anything, not from us. So where is she?
The: Yes, sorry, good point. She's a bit shy that's all.
[the Doctor opens the door to the TARDIS, where Rose and Jackie are hiding and grabs Jackie, pulling her out]
The: But here she is, Rose Tyler. She's not the best I've ever had. Bit too blonde. Not too steady on her pins. A lot of that
[the Doctor makes a movement with his hand to indicate she talks too much]
The: . And just last week she stared into the heart of the time vortex and aged 57 years. But she'll do.
Jackie: I'm 40!
The: Deluded. Bless. I'll have to trade her in. Do you need anyone? She's very good at tea. Well, when I say "very good" I mean not bad. Well, I say "not bad" - anyway, lead on. Allons-y - but not too fast. Her ankle's going.
Jackie: I'll show you were my ankle's going!

Captain: What do you say I use this perception filter to sneak up behind him and just break his neck?
The: Now that sounds like Torchwood.
Captain: Still a good plan.
The: He's a Time Lord, which makes him my responsibility. I'm not here to kill him. I'm here to save him.

Peggy: [on TV] Listen to me, Den Watts - I don't care if you HAVE come back from the dead, get out of my pub! The only spirits in here are gin, whisky and vodka, so go on - GET OUT!
[the Doctor switches the TV off and turns to Jackie]
The: When did this start?
Jackie: Well, first of all, Peggy heard this noise in the cellar, so she goes downstairs...
The: No, I mean worldwide.

Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Well... this is... different...
Rose: Cassandra?
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Goodness me, I'm a man. Yum. So many parts. And hardly used.
[starts jerking around]
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Ah, ah! Two hearts! Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!
Rose: Get out of him!
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Ooh, he's slim... and a little bit foxy. You thought so too; I've been inside your head. You've been looking. You *like* it.

Sky: So what is this? Chicken or beef?
The: I think it's both...

[When The Doctor or Donna talk to the Pompeiians, foreign phrases are not being translated into Latin]
Caecillius: [discussing a prior earthquake] After the great earthquake 17 years ago... An awful lot of damage, but we rebuilt.
The: Didn't you think of moving away? On, no, then again, San Francisco.
Caecillius: That's a new restaurant in Naples, isn't it?

Martha: But this Master bloke, he's got the TARDIS. He could be anywhere in time and space.
The: No, he's here. Trust me.
Martha: Who is he anyway? That voice at the end, that wasn't the Professor.
Captain: The Master's a Time Lord. Then he must have regenerated.
Martha: What does that mean?
Captain: It means he's changed his face, voice, body, everything. New man.
[the Doctor is distracted by a beggar tapping out a repeating rhythm on an enamel mug - ~tum tum te tum, tum tum te tum, tum tum te tum~]
Martha: Then how are we going to find him?
[the tapping starts to echo in the Doctor's head]
The: I'll know him, the moment I see him. Time Lords always do.

Martha: Are they selling drugs?
The: I think they're selling moods.
Martha: Same thing, isn't it?

Davros: The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun, but this is the truth, Doctor: you take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons... behold your Children of Time, transformed into murderers. I made the Daleks, Doctor, you made this.
The: I'm trying to help.
Davros: Already I have seen them sacrificed today, for their beloved Doctor. The Earth woman who fell opening the Sub Wave Network.
The: Who was that?
Rose: Harriet Jones. She gave her life to get you here.
[flashback of Harriet Jones]
Davros: How many more? Just think, how many have died in your name?
[more flashbacks of the people who have died helping The Doctor]
Davros: The Doctor, the man who keeps running, never looking back because he dare not, out of shame. This is my final victory, Doctor. I have shown you yourself.

John: Mankind doesn't need warfare and bloodshed to prove itself. Everyday life can provide honor and valor. Let's hope that from now on this country can find its heroes in smaller places. In the most ordinary of deeds.

King: What the hell is going on?
Reinette: Oh. This is my lover, the king of France.
The: Yeah? Well I'm the Lord of Time.

The: You know what? This is the biggest library in the universe. So where is everyone?
[looks around]
The: It's silent...
Donna: The library?
The: The planet. The whole planet.
Donna: Maybe it's a Sunday?
The: No, I never land on Sundays. Sundays are boring.

The: With this ring, I thee bio-damp.

The: But I don't understand; the cybermen don't have the technology to build a void ship. How did you manage it?
Cyber: The sphere is not ours. We followed it its wake; its origin is unknown to us.
The: Then what's inside?

The: And I've spoken with the Captain, I can *guarantee* you, everything's fine.
[knocking starts]

[last lines]
The: [noticing the rain] Oh! Get quite a bit of this, atmospheric disturbance. Still, it'll pass. Everything does. Bye then, Wilfred.
Wilfred: Oh, Doctor... what about you now? Who've you got? I mean... all those friends of yours...
The: They've all got someone else. Still, that's fine. I'm fine.
Wilfred: I'll watch out for you, sir.
The: You can't ever tell her!
Wilfred: No, no, no...
Wilfred: But, every night, Doctor... when it gets dark, and the stars come out, I'll look up... on her behalf. I'll look up at the sky... and think of you.
The: Thank you.

Madame: You seem to be flesh and blood but this is absurd. Reason tells me you cannot be real
The: Oh, you don't want to listen to reason.

[the Doctor arrives under guard to the Cyber Control Room. Camera tracks his walk into the room...]
The: I've been captured, but don't worry, Rose and Pete are still out there. They can rescue me.
[... revealing what he'd already seen: that Rose and Pete are in captivity there as well]
The: [without missing a beat] Oh well, never mind.

Eddie: [Loud] I AM TALKING!
The: [Louder] AND I'M NOT LISTENING!

The: How do you travel faster than light?
Milo: By opening a quantum tunnel with an FTL factor of 36.7 recurring.

The: No. Something's inhibiting my enzymes.
[convulses]
The: Gah! I've been poisoned!
Donna: What do we do? What do we do?
Agatha: [smells the Doctor's drink] Bitter almonds. It's cyanide! Sparkling cyanide!

The: We might die.
Martha: We might not.
The: [gives an approving/measuring look] Good.

Professor: You're doing a very good job acting like you don't know me. I'm assuming there's a reason.
The: Well, a fairly good one, actually.
Professor: OK, shall we do diaries then? Where are we this time? Ah, going by your face, I'd say it's early days for you, yeah? So, um - crash of the Byzantium. Have we done that yet?
[pause]
Professor: Obviously ringing no bells. Right, um - oh, picnic at Asgard. Have we done Asgard yet?
[pause]
Professor: Obviously not. Blimey, very early days, then. Hoo! Life with a time traveler - never knew it could be *such* hard work. Um...
[pause]
Professor: [whispering] Look at you.
Professor: [gasp] You're *young*.
The: I'm really not, you know.
Professor: No, but you *are*.
Professor: [reaches to The Doctor's face and strokes his hair as Donna looks on] Your eyes. You're younger than I've ever seen you.
The: You've... seen me before then?
[the Doctor glances at her familiar touch]
Professor: [hand moves to his shoulder, concerned] Doctor. Please tell me you know who I am.
The: [looks at her hand, then back to her face] Who are you?

Face: We shall meet again, Doctor, for the third time, for the last time, and the truth shall be told. Until that day...
[he vanishes]
The: That is enigmatic. That is... that is textbook enigmatic.

Dalek: [Enraged] The Doctor will open the Ark!
The: [laughs] The Doctor will not.
Dalek: You have no way of resisting!
The: Mm, you got me there.
[withdrawing the sonic screwdriver]
The: Although, there is always this.
Dalek: A sonic probe?
The: [with jocular bravado] That's "screwdriver."
Dalek: It is harmless!
The: Oh, yes, harmless is just the word: that's why I like it! Doesn't kill, doesn't wound, doesn't maim. But I'll tell you what it does do: It is very, very good at opening doors.
[He pushes the switch and the doors explode inwards; Jake's squad and some Cybermen run in and open fire]

John: I sometimes think how magical life would be if stories like this were true.

Agatha: [referring to the Doctor] Detective, you missed a very big clue.
The: What? That bit of paper you nicked out of the fire?
Agatha: You were looking the other way!
The: Yeah, but I saw your reflection in the glass of the bookcase.
Agatha: [smiling] You crafty man!

Astrid: This Christmas thing? What's it about?
The: Long story. I should know. I was there. I got the last room.

The: Destroy the prison, your body dies. Your mind with it?
[lifts a rock to smash the prison]

The: Go! and take Arthur!
Rose: Arthur?
The: Fine name for a horse.
Rose: No you can't keep the horse.
The: Why not? I let you keep Mickey! Now go!

The: That rocket's not going to fly, is it? This footprint mechanism thing. It's not working.
Professor: We'll find a way.
The: You're stuck on this planet, and you haven't told them, have you? That lot out there, they still think they're going to fly.
Professor: Well, it's better to let them live in hope.
The: Quite right too.

The: What's your name?
Midshipman Frame: Alonso.
The: You're kidding me.
Midshipman Frame: No, is something wrong?
The: Something else I've always wanted to say. Allons-y, Alonso!

[as Donna lays tied to a sacrificial alter]
Spurrina: The false prophet will surrender both her blood... and her breath.
Donna: I'll surrender you in a minute. Don't you dare!
Spurrina: You will be silent!
Donna: Listen, Sister. You may have eyes on the back of your hands; but you'll have eyes on the back of your head by the time I'm finished with you! Let me GO!
Spurrina: This prattling voice will cease, forever!
[raises her knife to finish it]
The: [sardonically] Oh, that'll be the day.

Rose: Can you build another Tardis?
The: They were grown, not built. And with my home planet gone... we're kind of stuck
Rose: Well, it could be worse; this lot said they'd give us a lift.
The: And then what?
Rose: I don't know. Find a planet, get a job, live a life, same as the rest of the universe.
The: I'll have to settle down. With a house or something - a proper house with... with, with doors and things - carpets! Me! Living in a house!... Now that, that - that is terrifying.
Rose: You'd have to get a mortgage!
The: No!
Rose: Oh yes!
The: No, I'm dying, that's it, it is all over.
Rose: What about me? I'd have to get one too!
[pause]
Rose: I don't know, we could have the same one, we could both... I don't know, share... or not. Whatever. I don't know, all sorts of...
The: Anyway
Rose: We'll see
The: [pause] I promised Jackie I'd always take you back home
Rose: Everyone leaves home in the end.
The: Not to end up stuck here.
Rose: Yeah, but stuck with you - that's not so bad.
The: Yeah?
Rose: Yes.

The: Whatever you do, don't blink.

The: Now. First thing's first. Be honest. How do I look?
Rose: Different.
The: Good different or bad different?
Rose: Just different.
The: Am I... ginger?
Rose: No, you're sort of just... brown.
The: Aww, I wanted to be ginger. I've never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were, you gave up on me. Ooh, that's rude. Is that all I am now? Rude? Rude and not ginger?

The: [as a hologram] This is security protocol 712. This time capsule has detected the presence of an authorised control disk, valid one journey. Please insert the disk and prepare for departure.

Donna: I thought we'd try the planet Feldspoon. Just cause. What a good name, Feldspoon. Apparently it's got mountains that sway in the breeze. Mountains that move, can you imagine?
The: And how do you know that?
Donna: Because it's in your head. And if it's in your head, it's in mine.
The: And how does that feel?
Donna: Brilliant, Fantastic, Molto Bene, Great big universe, packed into my brain. You know you can fix that chameleon circuit if you just try hotwiring the fragment links and superseding the binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary binary
[gasps]
Donna: ... I'm fine!
Donna: Nah! Nevermind Feldspoon. You know who I'd like to meet? Charlie Chaplin. I bet he's great, Charlie Chaplin. Shall we do that, shall we go see Charlie Chaplin?
[picks up phone]
Donna: Shall we, Charlie Chaplin? Charlie Chester, Charlie Brown, no he's fiction,
[puts phone down]
Donna: friction, fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton.
[gasps]

Captain: Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?
Martha: [smiles] Martha Jones.
Captain: [half smile, half laugh] Nice to meet you, Martha Jones.
The: Oh, don't start!
Captain: [defensively] I was only saying hello.
Martha: I don't mind.

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The: Mickey, what's pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

The: ...Maybe we opened the prison, but not the cell.
Ida: We should go down. I'd go. What about you?
The: Oh, oh in a second! But then again... That's so human. Where angels fear to tread... Even now, standing on the edge, it's that feeling you get, yea? Right at the back of your head. That impulse... That strange little impulse... That mad little voice saying, "Go on! Go on! Go on!... Go over! Go on!..." Maybe it's relying on that... For once in my life, Officer Scott, I'm going to say... retreat. Ugh, now I know I'm getting old.
[speaks over comm]
The: Rose, we're coming back.

The: See, that's the thing, I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I... I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I... funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?
[He winks at Rose]
The: Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed, left-handed, a gambler, a fighter, a coward, a traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck - I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob!

Martha: That's aliens. Real aliens. Real proper aliens.
The: [the Doctor responds sternly] Judoon.

Cybermen: We have been upgraded.
The: Into what?
Cybermen: The next stage of mankind. We are human point two.

The: [over the intercome] Keep moving fast as you can. And, Martha, be careful. There may be something else onboard the ship.
Martha: [sarcastically] Any time you want to unnerve me, feel free.
The: Will do, thanks.

Sally: [to The Doctor] Who are you?
The: [on the DVD] I'm a time traveller. Or I was. I'm stuck in 1969.
Martha: [Martha interrupts on-screen] We're stuck. All of space and time he promised me. Now I've got a job in a shop, I've got to support him!
The: [gesturing at the screen] Martha!
Martha: [suddenly realizing she's on-screen] Sorry.

The: You can stop this right now. We can leave this planet. We can fight across the constellations if that's what you want, but not on Earth!
The: It's too late.
The: Why do you say that?
The: The drumming.
[taps out a drumbeat on the table with his fingers]
The: Can't you hear it?
[taps the beat again, continuously]
The: Inside my head. I thought it would stop. But it never does. It never, ever stops. Inside my head. The drumming, Doctor, the constant drumming.
The: I can help you. Please, let me help.
The: It's everywhere. Listen. Listen. Listen. Here come the drums... here come... the drums...
[a young man is loitering, beating out the drumbeat against his legs, just like Martha earlier, just like the beggar earlier, just like the Master... ~tum tum te tum~]
The: What have you done? Tell me, how have you done this? What are those creatures? Tell me!
The: Oooo, look! You're on TV!
The: Stop it! Answer me!
The: No, really, you're on telly! You and your little band, which by the way is ticking every demographic box, so congratulations on that. God, there you are.
[laughs]
The: You're public enemies 1, 2, and 3. Oh! And you can tell "Handsome Jack" that I've sent his little gang off on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas, so you won't be getting any help from them.
[the Doctor turns to look at Martha and Jack]
The: Go on, off you go, why not start out by turning to the...
[the Doctor turns to the right]
The: RIGHT!
The: [looks up and sees a CCTV camera] He can see us!
[He raises his sonic screwdriver and shorts out the CCTV]
The: Oh! You public menace! Better start running. Go on... run!
The: [closes the phone] He's got control of everything.
Martha: What do we do?
Captain: We've got nowhere to go.
Martha: Doctor, what do we do?
The: Run, Doctor! Run for your life!
The: We run.
[the Doctor, Martha, and Jack all run]
The: [screaming into the phone] I SAID... RUN!

Tommy: We don't even know where to start looking. It's too late.
The: "It's never too late," as a wise person once said. Kylie, I think.

Reinette: Fireplace Man, you are inside my mind.
The: Oh dear, Reinette. You've had some cowboys in here.

The: No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.

Professor: You think there's danger here?
The: Something came to this library and killed everything in it. Killed a whole world. Danger? Could be.
Professor: That was 100 years ago. The library's been silent for 100 years. Whatever came here is long dead.
The: Bet your life?
Professor: Always.

The: Gravity schmavity, my people practically invented the black hole. Well, in fact, they did.

The: You still haven't answered the question. What happens to me?
The: You're my responsibility from now on. The only Time Lord left in existence.
Captain: Yeah, but you can't trust him.
The: No. The only safe place for him is the TARDIS.
The: You mean, you're just gonna... keep me?
The: If that's what I have to do. It's time to change. Maybe I've been wandering for too long. Now I've got someone to care for.

Donna: [looking lustfully at Jack through the TARDIS screen] ... and who is... that?
The: Captain Jack.
[to Donna]
The: Don't... just... don't.

The: "And I should know, because... "
Max: My name is Max!
[his gold teeth makes a sparkle like in the commercial]
The: It really does that?

Mr: The Ood were nothing without us. Just Animals, roaming around on the ice
The: That's because you can't hear them.
Mr: They welcomed it. It's not as if they put up a fight.
Donna: You idiot. They're born with their brains in their hands, don't you see, that makes them peaceful. They've got to be, 'cause a creature like that would have to trust anyone it meets.
The: Ooh, nice one.
Donna: Thank you.

The: [after breaking into Magpie's shop] If you're here, come out and talk to me! MAGPIE!
Tommy: Maybe he's out?
The: Looks like it.
[finds a small black box resembling an old portable TV]
The: Oh, hello. This isn't right. This is very much not right.
[licks it]
The: Tastes like iron. Bakelite. Put together with human hands, yes, but the design itself...
[scans it with his Sonic Screwdriver]
The: Oh, beautiful work! That is so simple!
Bishop: That's incredible, it's like a television, but portable! A portable television!

Donna: What did you do?
The: Guess what I've got Donna.
[Pulls out a large remote device from his overcoat]
The: Pockets.
Donna: How did they fit in there?
The: They're bigger on the inside.

Captain: But I keep wondering, what about aging? Cause I can't die but I keep getting older, the odd little, gray hair, you know? What happens if I live for a million years?
The: I really don't know.
Captain: Ok, vanity, sorry. Yeah... can't help it. Used to be a poster boy when I was a kid, living in the Bo-shang peninsula... tiny little place. I was the first one ever to be signed up for the Time Agency, they were so proud of me. The Face of Bo they called me... hummm! I'll see you!
[Jack turns and leaves]
Martha: [Martha gets an stunned look on her face and taps the doctor on the arm to get his attention]
The: [in disbelief] No.
Martha: [incredulously] It can't be!
The: [still in disbelief] No. Definitely not, no.
Martha: [Martha begins to laugh]
The: No!
[the Doctor begins to laugh as he realizes Jack may very well be his old friend the mysterious Face of Bo]

Professor: Even my title is an affectation. There hasn't been such a thing as a university for over a thousand years. I've spent my life going from one refugee ship to another.
The: If you'd been born in a different time, you'd be revered. I mean it. Throughout the galaxies.
Professor: Oh, those damn galaxies. They had to go and collapse. Some admiration would have been nice. Just a little, just once.
The: Well, you have it now. That footprint engine thing, you can't activate it from onboard. It's got to be done from here. You're staying behind.
Professor: With Chantho. She won't leave without me. She simply refuses.
The: You'd give your life so they could fly?
Professor: Think I'm a little too old for Utopia. Time I had some sleep.

Donna: A great big empire, built on slavery...
The: It's not so different from your time.
Donna: Oy! I haven't got slaves!
The: Who d'you think made your clothes?
Donna: Is that why you travel round with a human at your side? It's not so you can show them the wonders of the universe, it's so you can take cheap shots?
The: Sorry.
Donna: Well, don't.

Lucius: Is that so? Man from Gallifrey.
The: What?
Lucius: The strangest of images; your home is lost in fire, is it not?
Donna: Doctor, what are they doing?
Lucius: And you, daughter of... London!
Donna: How does he know that?
Lucius: It is the gift of Pompeii, every single oracle tells the truth.
Donna: But that's impossible.
Lucius: Doctor, she is returning.
The: Who is? Who's she?
Lucius: And you, daughter of London, there is something on your back.
Donna: What's that mean?
Evelina: Even the word Doctor is false. Your real name is hidden, it burns in the stars, in the cascade of Medusa herself. You are a Lord, sir. A Lord of Time.

The: You're not from Raxacoricofallapatorius, are you?
Victor: No, I'm not! They're swine! I spit on them! I was born on their twin planet.
The: Really? What's the twin planet of Raxacoricofallapatorius?
Victor: Clom.

The: Martha, Donna. Donna, Martha. Please Don't fight. I can't bear fighting.
Donna: You wish.
[shaking Martha's hand]
Donna: I've heard all about you. He talks about you all the time.
Martha: I dread to think.
Donna: No, no, no. No he says nice things. Good things. Nice things; really good things.
Martha: [embarrassed] Oh, my God
[quickly brushing her bangs aside]
Martha: he's told you everything.
Donna: [noticing the ring on the hand she just used] Didn't take long to get over it, though. Who's the lucky man?
The: What man? Lucky what?
Donna: She's engaged you prawn.
The: [as Martha shows the Doctor her ring] Really, who to?
Martha: Tom. That Tom Milligan. He's in paediatrics. Working out in Africa right now. And yes, I know; I've got a doctor who disappears off to distant places. Tell me about it.
Donna: Is he skinny?
Martha: No, he's sort of... strong.
Donna: [pointing to the Doctor] *He* is too skinny for words. You give him a hug you get a paper cut!
The: [as Martha laughs] Oh, I rather you were fighting.

The: You've built this system out of food and string and staples. Professor Yana, you're a genius.
Prof. Yana: Says than man who made it work.
The: Aah, it's easy, coming in at the end. But you're stellar, this is, this is magnificent!

The: Welcome!
Billy: Where am I?
The: 1969. Not as bad as it goes. You've got the moon landing to look forward to.
Martha: Oh, the moon landing's brilliant. We went 4 times
[At the Doctor]
Martha: Back when we still had transport.
The: Working on it!
Billy: How did I get here?
The: Same way we did. Touch of an angel. Probably the same one since you ended up in the same year. No, no, no, don't get up. Time travel without a capsule. Nasty. Catch your breath, don't go swimming for 30 minutes.
Billy: I don't. I can't.
The: Fascinating race, the Weeping Angels. The only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely. No mess, no fuss. They just zap you into the past and let you live to death. You die in the past, and in the present, they consume the energy of the life you might have had. They're creatures of the abstract, they live off potential energy.
Billy: What in God's name are you talking about?
Martha: Trust me, just nod when he stops for breath.
The: Tracked you down with this.
[Holds up strange machine]
The: This is my timey, wimey detector. Also, it can boil an egg from 30 paces away. Whether you want it to or not, actually. I've learned to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.

The: Nice place. But no shop downstairs. I'd have a shop. Not a big one, just a shop so people can shop.
The: This hospital is a place of healing.
The: Well, a shop does some people a world of good. Not me, but other people.

Rose: With you, did he do that thing where he'd explain something at like, 90 miles an hour, and you'd go "What?", and he'd look at you like you've just dribbled on your shirt?
Sarah: All the time!
[laughs]
Sarah: Does he still stroke bits of the TARDIS?
Rose: [giggling] Yes, he does! I'm like "do you two want to be alone"?
Rose: [both crack up laughing]
The: [walks into the lab] How's it going?
Rose: [burst out hysterically laughing]
The: What? Listen, I need to figure out what's programmed inside these?
Rose: [still laughing, Rose points at him]
The: What?
[annoyed]
The: Stop it!

Jenny: So, you don't have a name either? Are you an anomaly too?
The: No.
Donna: Oh come off it, you're the most anomalous bloke I've ever met.

The: Just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry about it. Everyone has nightmares. Even monsters from under the bed has nightmares, don't you, monster?
Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The: Me.

The: Queen Elizabeth I!
Queen: Doctor!
The: [surprised] What?
Queen: My sworn enemy!
The: What?
Queen: Off with his head!
The: WHAT?

The: You get representations of the horned Beast right across the universe in myths and legends of a million worlds. Earth, Draconia, Vel Consadine, Daemos... The Kaled god of war, the same image, over and over again. Maybe, that idea came from somewhere. Bleeding through, a thought of every sentient mind...
Ida: Originating from here?
The: Could be.
Ida: But if this is the original, does that make it real? Does that make it the actual Devil?
The: Well, if that's what you want to believe. Maybe that's what the Devil is, in the end. An idea.

[the TARDIS arrives on Earth, and the Doctor is excited to show Rose the late 70's]
The: 1979 - Hell of a year! China invades Vietnam. "The Muppet Movie" - love that film. Skylab falls to Earth, with a little help from me. Nearly took off my thumb.
[exits TARDIS]
The: And I like my thumb. I need my thumb. I'm very attached to...
The: [runs into Queen Victoria's guards, who cock their rifles at The Doctor and Rose] ... my thumb.
[pause]
The: 1879 - same difference.

The: Someone tried to move the Earth once before... long time ago... Can't be...

[last lines; the Doctor is struggling to get up]
Captain: [taking Rose away] Here we go. Good luck, Doctor.
Donna: Will somebody tell me what's going on?
Rose: When he's dying... his body... it repairs itself. It changes... but you can't?
The: I'm sorry, it's too late. I'm regenerating.
[the Doctor begins to regenerate]

[first lines]
The: I don't know what's wrong with her. She's sort of queasy. Indigestion, like she didn't want to land.
Rose: [straight-faced] Oh, if you think there's gonna be trouble, we could always go back inside, and go somewhere else...
[Rose cracks up, and they laugh outrageously]

Martha: It's the day after the election. That's only four days after I met you.
The: We went flying all around the Universe while he was here all the time.
Martha: Are you going to tell us who he is?
The: He's a Time Lord.
Martha: And the rest of it? I mean, who'd call themselves the Master?
The: That's all you need to know.

Riley: [reading from display] Find the next number in the sequence: 313, 331, 367...? What?
Martha: You said the crew knew all the answers!
Riley: The crew's changed since we set the questions.
Martha: You're joking!
The: 379!
Martha: What?
The: It's a sequence of happy primes - 379!
Martha: Happy what?
The: Just enter it!
Riley: Are you sure? We only get one chance.
The: Any number that reduces to one when you take the sum of the square of its digits and continue iterating it until it yields 1 is a happy number, any number that doesn't, isn't. A happy prime is both happy and prime. Now type it in!
[aside]
The: I dunno, talk about dumbing down. Don't they teach recreational mathematics anymore?

Sally: How can you know what I'm gonna say?
The: [on the DVD] Look to your left.
Larry: [Sally turns to see Larry writing something down] What does he mean by look to your left? I've written tons about that on the forums. I reckon it's a political statement.
Sally: He means you. What are you doing?
Larry: I'm writing in your bits. That way I've got a complete transcript of the entire conversation. Wait until this hits the net! This'll explode the egg forums!
The: [on the DVD, pointing at the screen] I've got a copy of the finished transcript, it's on my autocue.
Sally: How can you have a copy of the finished transcript? It's still being written!
The: [on the DVD] I told you, I'm a time traveller - I got it in the future!
Sally: Okay, let me get my head around this. You're reading aloud from a transcript of a conversation you're still having?
The: [on the DVD, waving his hands dismissively] Oh, wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey...
Sally: Actually, never mind that.

Dee: Well, six seconds exactly. That's enough time to throw someone out.
The: Well, thanks Dee Dee, that's *just* what we needed!

[last lines]
The: Sometimes I think there's way too much coincidence around you, Donna. I met you once, then I met your grandfather, then I met you again. In the whole wide universe, I met you for a second time. Like something's binding us together.
Donna: Don't be so daft. I'm nothing special.
The: Yes you are, you're brilliant!
Rose: [Donna has a sudden flashblack] I thought you're brilliant.
Donna: She said that.
The: Who did?
Donna: That woman... I can't remember.
The: She never existed now.
Donna: No, but she said the stars... she said the stars are going out.
The: Yeah, but that world's gone.
Donna: No, but she said it was all worlds, every world. She said, "The darkness is coming, even here."
The: Who was she?
Donna: I don't know.
The: What did she look like?
Donna: She was... blonde.
The: [passionately] What was her name?
Donna: I don't know.
The: [insisting] Donna, what was her name?
Donna: But she told me... to warn you. She said...
Donna: [Rose silent in flashback, Donna aloud] "Two words:..."
The: [concerned] What two words? What were they? What did she say?
[In flashback, Rose leans in and whispers into dying Donna's ear]
Donna: "Bad wolf."
[the Doctor is shocked]
Donna: What does it mean?
[the Doctor runs out of the fortune teller's tent, Donna quickly following, both stopping short. Everywhere there was writing in any language, the English words "Bad Wolf" now appear. "Bad Wolf" on all of the posted bills. "BAD WOLF" verticallly on all the hanging banners. They run to the TARDIS and on its phone panel, "Bad Wolf" repeated over and over in place of the instructions. Even on its marquee, where it normally says "Police Box" and "Public Call", both are replaced with "Bad Wolf". They enter and, inside, everything is lit in red. Even the time rotor is glowing an uncharacteristic red. From the inside, the marquee is still altered in mirrored image. The cloister bell is tolling]
Donna: What is it? What's "Bad Wolf"?
The: It's the end of the universe!

The: All I need to do is expel it. If I concentrate, shift the radiation... out my body into one spot... inside my left shoe. Here we go. Here we go. Easy does it.
The: [jumps up and down shaking his left foot] Out! Out! Ow, ow, ow. Ow. ow, ow, ah! Hah, hah, itches! Itches! Itches! Itches! Oh, ooh, hold on...
The: [then rips off his shoe and throws it in a trash can] There we go! Done.
Martha: You're completely mad.
The: You're right. I look daft with one shoe.
[takes off other shoe and chucks it in the same bin]
The: Barefoot on the moon!

Sir: Nevertheless, that creature won't give up, Doctor, and we still don't possess an actual weapon!
The: Oh, your dad got all the brains, didn't he?
Rose: Being rude again!
The: Good, I meant that one. You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world! This room's the greatest arsenal we could have - arm yourselves!

The: No. No, I'm with this friend of mine. Donna. She stayed behind in the Leisure Palace. You?
Sky: No, it's just me.
The: Oh, I've done plenty of that, traveling on my own. I love it! Do what you want, go anywhere.
Sky: Ah, I'm still getting used to it. I found myself single rather recently, not by choice.
The: What happened?
Sky: Oh, the usual. She needed her own space, as they say. A different galaxy, in fact. I reckon that's enough space, don't you?
The: Yeah. I had a friend who went to a different universe.

Dalek: The prophesy must complete!
Davros: Don't listen to him!
Dalek: I have seen the end of everything Dalek, and you must make it happen, Doctor!
Cloned: He's right, cause with or without a Reality Bomb this Dalek Empire's big enough to slaughter the cosmos. They've gotta be stopped!
Donna: But... just wait for the Doctor.
Cloned: I *am* the Doctor! Maximizing Dalekanium power feeds, blasting them back!
[Daleks begin exploding. The Doctor runs out of the TARDIS]
The: What have you done?
Cloned: Fulfillin' the prophesy.

The: No shop, I like the little shop.

[The Doctor has had one of his arms shoved into a machine]
The: I'm guessing this thing's not about to check my blood pressure!

The: Oh, you're not, are you? Tell me you're not archaeologists.
Professor: Got a problem with archaeologists?
The: I'm a time traveler. I point and laugh at archaeologists.
Professor: [offering handshake] Ah. Professor River Song, archaeologist.

Donna: Hold on a minute.
[points at a sign]
Donna: That sign over there is in English. Are you having me on? Are we in Epcot?
The: No, no, no, no. It's the TARDIS translation circuits, makes it look like English. Speech as well. You're talking Latin right now.
Donna: Seriously?
The: Uh-huh.
Donna: I just said seriously in Latin?
The: Oh yeah.
[she laughs]

Agatha: Can we return to sanity? There are no such things as giant wasps!
The: Exactly! So the question is: what's it doing here?

The: If I'm the enemy, does that mean I'm a prisoner?
Yvonne: Oh yes, but we'll make you perfectly comfortable.

Miss: Well, at last.
Donna: Hello.
The: Nice to meet you! I'm the Doctor.
Donna: And I'm Donna.
Miss: Partners in crime. And evidently of other world origin, judging by your sonic technology.
The: [feels through his pockets and finds Miss Foster's sonic pen] Oh, yes! I've still got your sonic pen! Nice! I like it, sleek. It's definitely sleek.
Donna: Oh, it's definitely sleek.
The: Yes, and if you were to sign your real name. That would be...
Miss: Matron Cofelia, of the Five-Straighten, Classabindi Nursery Fleet, Intergalactic Class.
The: And that is using humans as surrogates.
Miss: I've been employed by the Adiposian First Family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost.
The: What do you mean, "lost"? How do you lose a planet?
Miss: Oh politics are none of my concern. I'm just here to take care of the children on behalf of the parents.
Donna: Like an outer space supernanny?
Miss: Yes, if you like!
Donna: So, so those little things, they're made out of fat. But that woman, Stacey Campbell, there was nothing left of her.
Miss: Well, in a crisis, the Adipose can convert bone and hair and internal organs. Makes them a little bit sick, the poor things.
Donna: What about poor Stacey?
The: Seeding a Level 5 planet is against galactic laws.
Miss: [turns to the Doctor] Are you threatening me?
The: I'm trying to help you, Matron. This is your one chance, because if you don't call this off, then I'll have to stop you.
Miss: Then how do you think you can stop all of this?
[her bodyguards point their machine guns at the Doctor and Donna]
The: Hold on! Hold on! One more thing, before dying! Do you know what happens when you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?
[He takes out his own sonic screwdriver]
Miss: No.
The: Nor me! Let's find out!
[he jams the two sonic screwdrivers together and activates both, emitting a loud, deafening pulsing sound that also shakes the room such so that it shatters a window]

The: [on the DVD] ... don't look away and don't blink! Good luck.
[the DVD ends]
Sally: No, don't! You can't!
Larry: I'll rewind him.
Sally: What good will that do?

[the Doctor and Donna think they're in Rome]
Donna: Have you been here before, then?
The: Mmh, ages ago. Before you ask, that fire had nothing to do with me. Well, a little bit.

The: [Mickey has his finger on a button] Um, what are you doing that for?
Mickey: Cause you told me to
The: When was that?
Mickey: About half an hour ago
The: Um, you can let go now
Mickey: Well how longs it been since I could have stopped?
The: Ten minutes?... twenty... twenty-nine?
Mickey: You just forgot me?
The: No, no no! I was just, I was calibrating... I was, no, I know exactly what I'm doing.

Joan: Where is he... John Smith?
The: He's in here somewhere.
Joan: Like a story... could you change back?
The: Yes.
Joan: Will you?
The: No.

The: [after intense discussion and arguing] Because I'm clever!

The: The Carrionites vanished. Where did you go?
Lilith: The Eternals found the right word to banish us into deep darkness.
The: Then how did you escape?
Lilith: New words, new and glittering, from a mind like no other.
The: Shakespeare.

The: [the Doctor is searching through Reinette's memories] Sorry, you might find old memories reawakening, side effect.
Reinette: Oh, such a lonely childhood!
The: It'll pass.
Reinette: Oh, Doctor, so lonely, so very very alone!
The: What do mean, lonely? You've never been alone in your whole life- wait a minute, when did you start calling me Doctor?
Reinette: Such a lonely little boy. Lonely then and lonelier now! How can you bear it?
The: [breaking the mental connection] How did you do that?
Reinette: A door, once opened, may be stepped through in either direction. Oh, Doctor, my lonely Doctor... dance with me.
The: I can't.
Reinette: Dance with me.
The: This is the night you dance with the king.
Reinette: Then first I shall make him jealous.
The: I can't.
Reinette: Doctor. Doctor who? It's more than just a secret, isn't it.
The: What did you see?
Reinette: That there comes a time, Timelord, when every lonely little boy must learn how to dance!

Lieutenent: Cline, at Arms!
Donna: [Cline cocks and aims his gun at Donna and the Doctor] Oi, Oi! Alright, cool the beans, Rambo!
Lieutenent: Take them. I won't have them spreading treason. And if you try anything, Doctor, I'll see that your woman dies first.
Donna: [the Doctor and Donna at the same time] I'm not his woman.
The: Oh, no no no. No, we're not a couple!

The: [cheerfully] Everything's coming up Doctor!

The: [the Doctor arrives back on the ship to find himself alone] Rose?... Mickey? Every time - every time! It's rule one: don't wander off! I tell them I do, rule one! There could be anything on this ship!
[He turns a corner and comes face-to-face with a horse]

Martha: So what is that thing? And where's it from, Planet Zovirax?
The: It's just a Slab. They're called Slabs. Basic slave drones. You see? Solid leather all the way through. Someone has got one hell of a fetish.

Donna: [on Mr. Halpern] They... turned him into an Ood.
The: Yup.
Donna: He's an Ood.
The: I noticed.

Dalek: This I have forseen, in the wild, in the wink, the Doctor will be here as witness at the end of everything; the Doctor and his precious Children of Time!
The: What does that mean?
Davros: We will discover it together. Our final journey, because the ending approaches. The testing begins.
[Davros turns away]
The: Testing of what?
[Davros stops, then turns back]
Davros: [matter-of-factly] The Reality Bomb.

Jackie: I said there were ghosts, but that's not fair. Why him?
Pete: I'm not a ghost.
Jackie: But you're dead. You died 20 years ago Pete.
The: It's Pete from a different universe. There are parallel worlds, Jackie. Every single decision you make creates a parallel existence, a different dimension where...
Jackie: Oh you can shut up.
[to Pete]
Jackie: You look old.
Pete: You don't.
Jackie: How could you be standing there?
Pete: I just got lucky. I lived my life. You were left on your own. You didn't marry again, or...?
Jackie: There was never anyone else. Twenty years though, look at me, I never left that flat. Did nothing with myself.
Pete: You brought her up. Rose Tyler. It's not bad.
Jackie: Yeah.
Pete: In my world it worked. All those daft little plans of mine, it worked. Made me rich.
Jackie: I don't care about that.
[pause]
Jackie: How rich?
Pete: Very.
Jackie: I don't care about that.
[pause]
Jackie: How very?
Pete: Thing is though, Jacks, you're not my wife, I'm sorry but you're not. I mean, we both, it's just sort of... oh come here!
[They run toward each other and embrace]

The: Can't extrapolate a relationship from a biological accident.
Donna: Child Support agency can.

[part of the TARDIS console explodes]
The: [hitting the console with a hammer] Behave!

The: Whoo, blimey! That takes some doing, to just snatch a living organism out of space and time. This baby is just like 'I'm having some of that!' I'm impressed.

Magpie: What do you think you're doing?
The: I want my friend restored, and I think that's beyond a little backstreet electrician, so tell me, who's really in charge here?
The: Yoo-hoo! I think that must be me.

Sycorax: I can summon the armada and take this world by force.
The: Well, yeah, you could. Yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why? Look at these people: these human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than - no, hold on... Sorry, that's the 'Lion King'. But the point still stands.

Cyber: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek: This is not war - this is pest control!
Cyber: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek: Four.
Cyber: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You superior in only one respect.
Cyber: What is that?
Dalek: You are better at dying. Raise communications barrier!
[video link with Cyber Leader cuts out]
Dalek: Wait!
The: [in the same room as Cyber Leader, listening in through Rose's mobile phone] Lost her.
Dalek: Rewind image by nine rels.
[the image is rewound, and we see the Doctor in the background of the video link]
Dalek: Identify grid Seven Gamma Flame. This male registers as enemy!
Dalek: The females heartbeat has increased!
Mickey: Yeah, tell me about it.
Dalek: Identify him!
Rose: All right then... if you really want to know. That's the Doctor.
[all four Daleks recoil in apparent fear]
Rose: Five million Cybermen, easy. One Doctor? NOW you're scared!

[about a seriously sick man]
The: How on Earth did you cure him?
The: How on *New* Earth, you might say.

The: [Rose has run off] I told you to keep an eye on her!
Mickey: She's all right...
The: She goes wandering off! Parallel world; it's like a gingerbread house! All those temptations calling her.
Mickey: Oh, so it's just Rose then? Nothing out there to tempt me?
The: Well I dunno, I can't worry about everything! If I could just get this thing to...
[he kicks the TARDIS. Hard]
Mickey: Did that help?
The: Yes.
Mickey: Did that hurt?
The: Yes.
[Clutches foot]
The: Ow!

The: Now, then, you lot - Sarah, hold that down, Mickey, you hold that - 'cause you know why this TARDIS is always rattling about the place? - Rose, that, there - it's designed to have six pilots and I have to do it singlehanded - Martha, keep that level - but not anymore - Jack, there you go, steady that - now we can fly this thing-... n-no, Jackie, no, no, not you, don't touch anything, just... stand back - like it's meant to be flown!

Rose: [Rose splashes water from a blue bucket onto an alien and nothing happens] You said the blue bucket!
The: I said *not* blue!

Jackie: But these Cybermen, what do they have to do with the ghosts?
The: Don't you ever listen? A footprint doesn't look like a boot.
[the ghosts begin to turn into Cybermen]
The: It's the Cybermen. All the ghosts are Cybermen. Millions of them. All over the earth.

[repeated line]
The: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Donna: I can't imagine you without a voice.
The: Molte bene.
Donna: [repeats] Molte bene.
The: No. Don't do that. Don't. Really. Don't.

The: Well, we've landed.
Martha: So, what's out there?
The: I don't know.
Martha: Ha, say that again, that's rare.
The: Not even the Time Lords came this far. We should leave. We should go. We should really, really... go...
[he grins, he and Martha run outside]

The: Call me old fashioned, but if you really wanted peace couldn't you just stop fighting?
Lieutenent: Only when we have the Source. It will give us the power to erase every stinking Hath off the face of this planet.
The: Hang on, a second ago it was peace in our time and now you're talking about genocide!
Lieutenent: For us, that means the same thing!
The: Then you need to get yourself a better dictionary. When you do, look up genocide. You'll see a little picture of me there and the caption'll read 'over my dead body!'

The: That's so human. Where angels fear to tread.

The: [the TARDIS has just crash landed on earth and a newly regenerated Doctor appears from within. He is a bit disorientated after his transformation] Here we are then. London, Earth... Solar system. I did it.
[seeing Jackie and Mickey]
The: Jackie, Mickey, blimey! No, no, no, no. Hold on. Wait there. I've got something to say. There's something I had to tell you. Something important. What was it? No, hold on, hold on... Oh, I know! Merry Christmas.
[he suddenly passes out. Rose emerges from the TARDIS]
Rose: What happened? Is he all right?
Mickey: I don't know. He just keeled over. But who is he? Where's the Doctor?
Rose: That's him, right in front of you. That's the Doctor.
Jackie: What do you mean that's the Doctor? Doctor who?

Donna: [the Doctor and Donna have been handcuffed and left to die] Well, do something! You're the one with all the tricks... and you must've met Houdini!
The: [straining] Ugh... These are really good handcuffs...
Donna: [sarcastically] Well, I'm glad of that. At least we've got quality!

Spurrina: No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sybil!
[Sybil was a soothsayer]
The: Oh that's all right.
[mocking]
The: Just us girls. You know, I met Sybil once. Hell of a woman! Blimey, she could dance a tarantella! Nice teeth... Truth be told, I think she had a bit of a thing for me. I said it would never last, she said "I know." Well, she would.
[to Donna, who is tied to an altar]
The: You all right there?
Donna: [sarcastic] Oh, never better.
The: I like the toga.
Donna: Thank you. And the ropes?
The: Eh, not so much.
[cuts her free]

Captain: [about The Master] So Doctor, who is he? How come the ancient society of Time Lords created a psychopath?
Martha: And what is he to you? Like some sort of colleague or...
The: Friend at first.
Martha: Thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something.
[pause]
The: You've been watching too much TV.

Astrid: You're looking good for 903.
The: You should see me in the mornings.
Astrid: Okay.

Rose: They're rats! Vacuum packed rats!
The: [to Mickey] And you decided to scream.
Mickey: It took me by surprise!
The: Like a little girl!
Mickey: It was dark, I was covered in rats!
The: Nine, maybe ten years old. I'm seeing pigtails and a frilly skirt.

The: From the day they arrive on the planet, and blinking step into the sun, there's more to see than can ever be seen, more to- wait that's The Lion King.

General: ...where to find the Source.
The: Ooh, the Source. What's that then; what's the Source? I like a Source. What is it?
General: The Breath of Life.
The: And that would be?
Cline: "In the beginning, the Great One breathed life into the universe. And then she looked at what she'd done, and she sighed."
Jenny: Hmm, 'She'; I like that.

Policeman: [the Doctor flashes the Psychic Paper at him] Oh... sorry sir. Shouldn't you be at the Coronation?
The: [looks back whilst running] They're saving me a seat!
Tommy: Who did he think you were?
The: [looking at the Psychic Paper] King of Belgium, apparently.

Jenny: And Time Lords, what are they for?
The: For? They're not for anything.
Jenny: So what do you do?
The: I travel. Through time and space.
Donna: He saves worlds, rescues civilizations, defeats terrible creatures and runs a lot. Seriously, there's an outrageous amount of running involved.
The: [opens hidden door] Got it!
[shouts echo]
The: Now, what were you saying about running?

Rose: [the werewolf is breaking through the door] What do we do?
The: We run!
Rose: That's it?
The: You got any silver bullets?
Rose: Not on me, no!
The: Then we run!
[to Queen Victoria]
The: Your Majesty, as your doctor, I recomend a brisk jog, it's good for your health!

Lilith: [explaining the Carrionites plan] And from this world we will lead the universe back into the old ways of blood and magic.
The: [walks up to her] Hmm, busy schedule. But first you've gotta get past me.
Lilith: Oh, that should be a pleasure.
[leans in seductively]
Lilith: Considering my enemy has such a handsome shape.
The: Now that's one form of magic that's definitely not gonna work on me.
Lilith: Oh, we'll see.
[cuts a piece of hair off of him]
The: What's that for? What did you do?
Lilith: Souvenir.

The: This must be the biographies. I love biographies.
Donna: Yeah, very you. Always a death at the end.
The: You need a good death. Without death there'd only be comedies. Death gives us size.

The: The Medusa Cascade. I came here when I was just a kid, ninety years old.

The: Allons-y!

Sycorax: I can summon the armada and take this world by force!
The: Well, yeah, you *could*, you could do that, course you could, but *why*? Look at these people, these human beings, consider their potential. From the day they arrive on this planet and blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do... no, hold on... sorry, that's the Lion King... but the point still stands! Leave them alone!
Sycorax: Or what?
The: Or...
[grabs Sycorax broadsword]
The: ...I challenge you!
[the Sycorax roar and shout]
The: Ooh, that struck a chord...

Tallulah: [fretting over Lazlo who is about to die] Doctor, can't you do somethin'
The: Oh Tallulah with three l's and an h... just you watch me
The: [jumps up, takes off his coat and starts trashing around] What do I need, oh I dunno. How about a great big genetic laboratory. Oh, look I've got one. Lazlo, just you hold on! There's been too many deaths today, way too many people have died. Brand new creatures, wise old men and age old enemies. And I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now. I am NOT having ONE more dead. You got that? NO ONE!

The: [coming back to a different time] Reinette... well, goodness how you've grown.
Madame: And you don't appear to have aged a single day. I think that is tremendously impolite of you.

Mickey: Where was that? What happened?
The: Oh, it was on this... er, planet thing. Asteroid. It's a long story. You had to be there.

The: Yeah, listen, listen, got to dash... things happening. Well... four things. Well... four things and a lizard.

The: Listen to me. The killing. After awhile it infects you. And once it does you're never rid of it.

Lilith: But your heart grows cold / The north wind blows / And carries down the distant... Rose?
The: Oooh, big mistake! Because that name keeps me fighting!

The: You're a clever man. I'd call you a genius. Except that I'm in the room.

The: New New York can start again. And they've got Novice Hame. Just what every city needs, cats in charge.

Young: Monsieur, be careful!
The: It's just a nightmare, Reinette, don't worry, everyone has nightmares. Even monsters under the bed have nightmares!
Young: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The: Me!

Donna: Never mind Planet Zog. A party in the 1920s! That's more like it!
The: Trouble is, we haven't been invited. Oh, I forgot!
[pulls out the psychic paper]
The: Yes we have!

General: Doctor, you impugn my honor!
The: Yeah, I'm really glad you didn't say belittle, 'cause then I'd have a field day.

The: I'm a bit of a hermit really.
The: A hermit with friends?
The: Mmm. Hermits United. We get together every 10 years and swap stories about caves. It's good fun. For a hermit.

Dee: I'm just a second-year student, but I wrote a paper on the lost moon of Poosh. Professor Hobbes read it, liked it, took me on as researcher, just for the holidays. Well, I say "researcher," most of the time he's got me fetchin' and carryin'. But it's all good experience.
The: And did they ever find it?
Dee: Find what?
The: The lost moon of Poosh.
Dee: [laughing] Oh, no, not yet.
The: Well, maybe that'll be your great discovery one day. Here's to Poosh.
Dee: [returning toast] Poosh.

The: [shouting] The play's the thing.
[turning to Shakespeare]
The: And yes, you can use that.

The: Tell me, Roger, have you got a cat flap?
[next scene, on floor looking through cat flap]
Roger: It was here when I bought the house. I never bothered with it, really. I'm not a cat person.
The: No, I've met cat people. You're nothing like them.
Roger: Is that what it is, though: cats getting inside the house?
The: Well, thing about cat flaps is, they don't just let things in; they let things out as well.
Roger: Like what?
The: "The fat just walks away."

The: They're making a catalogue. That means they're after something non-human, which is very bad news for me.
Martha: Why?
[the Doctor looks at her]
Martha: Oh, you're kidding me. Don't be ridiculous!
[pause]
Martha: Stop looking at me like that.
The: Come on then.

Martha: Thing is, though, am I missing something here? The world didn't end in 1599. It just didn't. Look at me, I'm living proof.
The: Oh, how to explain the mechanics of the infinite temporal flux. I know: Back to the Future. It's like Back to the Future.
Martha: The film?
The: No, the novelisation! Yes, the film! Marty McFly goes back and changes history.
Martha: And he starts fading away- Oh my God, am I gonna fade?
The: You and the entire future of the human race. It ends right now in 1599 if we don't stop it.

John: You knew this all along and yet you watched while Nurse Redfern and I...
Martha: I didn't know how to stop you. He gave me a list of things to watch out for, but that wasn't included.
John: Falling in love? That didn't even occur to him?
Martha: No.
John: Then what sort of man is that? And now you expect me to die?

The: [standing in a container full of Ood] Ood, tell me. Does 'the Circle' mean anything to you?
The: [all the translators light up at once] The Circle must be broken.
Donna: [breathy] Whoa, that is creepy.
The: But what is it? What is the Circle?
The: The Circle must be broken!
The: Why?
The: So that we can sing!

[the Doctor is adjusting his atmospheric converter]
Martha: Doctor, hold on, you said the atmosphere would *ignite*!
The: Yeah, I did, didn't I.
[fires the converter into the sky]

The: Need this?
[offers the Fifth Doctor his sonic screwdriver]
The: No, I'm fine, thank you.
The: [sarcastic] Oh no, of course, you mostly went hands-free didn't you? It was like, "Hey, I'm the Doctor, I can save the universe using a kettle and some string! And look at me, I'm wearing a vegetable."

The: [held at gunpoint on the Scottish highlands] 1879. Same difference.
Reynolds: You will explain your presence, and the nakedness of this girl.
The: [Scottish accent] Are we in Scotland?
Reynolds: How can you be ignorant of that?
The: Oh, I'm dazed and confused. I've been chasing this wee naked child over hill and over dale. Isn't that right, you... tim'rous beastie?
Rose: [terrible Scottish accent] Och aye! I've been oot and aboot!
The: [normal voice] No, don't do that.
Rose: Hoots mon!
The: No, really don't. *Really*.

Businessman: What the hell are they?
[the smog clears to reveal giant crabs]
The: Macra.

Rose: [the Doctor appears in from of Rose in a translucent form] Where are you?
The: Inside the TARDIS. There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova.
[smiling weakly]
The: I'm burning up a sun just to say good bye.

The: You're a joke, Lazarus. A footnote in the history of failure!

Sally: Started well, that sentence.
The: [on video] It got away from me, yeah.
Sally: OK that was weird, you're talking like you can hear me.
The: [on video] Well I can hear you.
Sally: [turns off TV] OK, that's enough of that!

The: I lied to you, 'cause I liked it. I could pretend, just for a bit, I could imagine they were still alive underneath the burnt orange sky. I'm not just a Time Lord: I'm the last of the Time Lords. The Face of Boe was wrong. There's no one else.
Martha: What happened?
The: There was a war. A Time War. The last great Time War. My people fought a race called the Daleks for the sake of all creation, and they lost. We lost. Everyone lost. They're all gone now, my family, my friends, even that sky. Ah, you should have seen it, that old planet. The second sun would rise in the south, the mountains would shine. The leaves on the trees were silver. When they caught the light every morning, they lit the forest on fire. We always had...
[sound trails off]

The: [inside the Tardis] I don't know where we're going, but my old hand's very excited about it!

Roger: You wake up, and it's disappeared overnight. Well, technically speaking, it's gone by ten past 1:00 in the morning.
The: What makes you say that?
Roger: That's when I get woken up.
[later]
Roger: It is driving me mad. Ten minutes past 1:00 every night, bang on the dot, without fail, the burglar alarm goes off. I've had experts in. I've had it replaced, I've even phoned watchdogs. But no, at ten past 1:00 in the morning, off it goes.

Cassandra: [Cassandra tries to escape out a door only to find her way blocked by the diseased patients; shuts the door and turns to the Doctor panicked] We're trapped! What are we going to do?
The: Well, for starters, you're going to leave that body. That psyco-graft is banned on every civilized planet. You're compressing Rose to death!
Cassandra: [sounding annoyed] But I've got nowhere to go. My original skin's dead.
The: Not my problem. You can float as atoms in the air. Now get out.
[points his sonic 'screwdriver' at her; anger in his voice]
The: Give her back to me!

River: You know, it's funny, I keep wishing the Doctor was here.
Anita: The Doctor is here, isn't he? He is coming back, right?
River: You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you knew them. and it's like they're not quite finished. They're not done yet. Well, yes, the Doctor's here. He came when I called, just like he always does. But not my Doctor. Now my Doctor, I've seen whole armies turn and run away. And he'd just swagger off back to his Tardis and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor in the Tardis. Next stop, everywhere.
The: Spoilers. Nobody can open a Tardis by snapping their fingers. It doesn't work like that.
River: It does for the Doctor.
The: I am the Doctor.
River: Yeah. Some day.

The: Here we go.
[Hands his coat to Brannigan]
The: Looks after this. I love that coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat.

The: You are not coming with me. I want to talk to this Luke Rattigan, not point a gun at him.
Colonel: It's 10 miles outside London. How are you going to get there?
The: Well then give me a jeep.
Colonel: According to the records, you travel by TARDIS.
The: Yes, but if there is a danger of hostile aliens, I think it's best o keep a super-duper Time Machine away from the front lines.
Colonel: I see; so then you *do* have weapons but choose to keep them hidden.

The: Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannin, just the thing for healing the synapses...

Martha: Where are we? No, sorry. Got to get used to this whole new language, *when* are we?
The: [looks up and sees a man about to dump waste out on their heads] Mind that.
[He pulls Martha back just before they get pummeled by excrement]
The: Somewhere before they invented the toilet.

[the Abzorbaloff is about to absorb Elton when the TARDIS appears in front of them]
The: [Exits the TARDIS and addresses Elton] Someone wants a word with you.
[Rose exits the TARDIS]
Rose: [annoyed] You upset my mum.
Elton: [confused, nods at Abzorbaloff] Great, big, absorbing creature from outer space and you're having a go at me?
Rose: No one upsets my mum!

The: [drunk] Have you met the French? My God they know how to party!
Rose: Oh look at what the cat dragged in, the oncoming storm.
The: You sound just like your mother.
Rose: What have you been doing? Where have you been?
The: Well, among other things, I *think* I may have just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early.

The: How about another planet?
Martha: Can we go to yours?
The: Nah, there's plenty of other places.
Martha: Come on, though. I mean "Planet of the Time Lords". That's gotta be worth a look. What's it like?
The: It's beautiful, yeah... The sky's burnt orange, with the citadel enclosed in a mighty glass dome, shining under the twin suns. Beyond that, the mountains go on forever. Slopes of deep red grass, capped with snow.
Martha: Can we go there?
[pause]
The: Nah, where's the fun for me? I don't want to go home.

The: [spots tray of hors d'oeuvres] Ooh, they've got nibbles! I love nibbles.

Donna: [watching the Adipose getting beamed on to the nursery ship] What are you going to do then? Blow them up?
The: They're just children; they can't help where they came from.
Donna: Oh, well that makes a change from last time. That Martha must've done you good.
The: She did, yeah. She did...
[sniffs]
The: She fancied me.
Donna: Mad Martha, that one. Blind Martha. Charity Martha.

The: Come on! We can have a good flirt later!
William: Is that a promise, Doctor?
The: Oh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air. Come on.

[Timothy sits outside looking at the fob watch. It whispers to him]
Woman: Darkness is coming! Darkness is coming!
The: Keep me away from the false and empty man.
Face: The last of the Time Lords. The last of that wise and ancient race.
Woman: The god with the face of a man.
[he looks away and the whispering voices abruptly cease]

Donna: [on Ood delta 50] He sang as he was dying.
The: His eyes turned red.
Donna: What's that mean?
The: Trouble.

The: [wandering in singing, glass in hand] I could have *spread my wings* and done a thou-have you *met* the French? My... *GOD*, they know how to party.
Rose: Oh, look what the cat dragged in, the Oncoming Storm.
The: Ooh, you sound just like your mother.
Rose: What have you been doing all this time? Where've you *been*?
The: Well, among other things, I *think* I might have just invented the banana daiquiri a few centuries early. Do you know, they'd never even seen a banana before? Always take a banana to a party, Rose. Bananas are good.
[turning to the robot]
The: Oh, it's you! You're my favorite, you are. You know why? Cause you're so... thick! You're Mr. Thick Thick Thickety Thickface from Thicktown, Thickania.
[turns to walk away]
The: And so's your dad!
The: [gives Rose a look as if to say 'I showed him, didn't I?' or 'How do you like them apples?']

The: [lights are all turned off] This is the darkness. This is my domain. You little things that live in the light, clinging to your feeble suns, which die in the end...
Zachary: That's not the ood. Somehing's talking through them.
The: ...only the darkness remains.
Zachary: This is Zachary Cross Flane of Sanctuary Base 6 representing the Torchwood Archive. You will identify yourself.
The: You know my name.
Zachary: What do you want?
The: You will die here, all of you. This planet is your grave.
The: If you are the Beast, then answer me this: Which one, hmm. Because the universe has been busy since you've been gone. These's more religions than there are planets in the sky. There's the Arkaphets, Christianity, Pash-Pash, New Judaism, San Claar, Church of the Tin Vagabond, which devil are you?
The: All of them!
The: Then you're... what? The truth behind the myth?
The: This one knows me, as I know him: the killer of his own kind.
The: [pause] How did you end up on this rock?
The: The Disciples of the Light rose up against me and chained me in the pit for all eternity.
The: When was this?
The: Before time.
The: What does "Before time" mean?
The: Before time and light and space and matter. Before the calaclysm. Before this universe was created.
The: That's impossible. No life could have existed back then.
The: Is that your religion?
The: [pause] It's a belief.
The: You know nothing. All of you, so small.
[to Zach]
The: The captain, so scared of command.
[to Jefferson]
The: The soldier, haunted by the eyes of his wife.
[to Ida]
The: The scientist, still running from daddy.
[to Danny]
The: The little boy who lied.
[to Toby]
The: The virgin.
[to Rose]
The: And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child, who will die in battle, so very soon.
Rose: Doctor, what does that mean?
The: Rose, don't listen.
Rose: What does it mean!
The: You will die... and I will live!

Reinette: This is my lover, the king of France.
The: Well I'm the lord of time.

Tish: He's a science geek, I should've known.
The: Science geek, what's that mean?
Martha: That you're obsessively enthusiastic about it.
The: [grins] Oh, nice.

The: [in Med center] Stasis chamber. I do love a good stasis chamber.

The: I'm going to stop you, Cobb. You need to know that.
General: I have an army, and the Breath of God on my side, Doctor. What do you have?
The: [points at his mind] This.

The: See, that's all blood control is - cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off you, but that's as far as it goes. It's like hypnotism. You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis, you can't hypnotise them to *death* - survival instinct's too strong.

[talking about ATMOS]
Ross: Drives me around the bend.
The: Oh, nice one.
Ross: [both smiling] Timed that perfectly.
The: Yeah, yeah you did.
[chuckles]

The: I was a dad once.

The: [about Rose] Everything she did was so human. She brought you back to life, but she couldn't control it. She brought you back forever. That's something, I suppose. The final act of the Time War was life.
Captain: [working a power system panel] Do you think she could change me back?
The: I took the power out of her. She's gone, Jack. She's not just living on a parallel world. She's trapped there. The walls have closed.
Captain: I'm sorry.
The: Yeah.
Captain: I went back to her estate in the Nineties, just once or twice, watched her growing up. Never said hello, time lines and all that.
The: Do you want to die?
Captain: [pulling on a power system panel] This one's a little stuck.
The: Jack.
Captain: I thought I did. I don't know, but this lot, you see them out here surviving and that's fantastic.

The: [to the master] Weapon, after weapon, after weapon. All you do is talk, and talk, and talk. But over all these years... and all these disasters, I've always had the greatest secret of them all. I know you. Explode those ships, you kill yourself... that's the one thing you can never do.

The: Ah! Smell that air! Grass and lemonade! And a little bit of mint. Just a hint of mint. Must be the 1920s.
Donna: You can tell what year it is just by smelling?
The: Oh, yeah.
Donna: Or, maybe, that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away.

The: Reinette, what age are you?
Reinette: So impertinent a question so early in the conversation! How promising.

The: [to Rose having recovered from his regeneration] Did you miss me?

Cyber: What is your name?
The: I'm the Doctor.
Cyber: A redundant title. Doctors need not exist. Cybermen never sicken.
The: Yeah, but that's it! That's exactly the point! Oh, Lumic, you're a clever man. I'd call you a genius, except I'm in the room. But everything you've invented, you did to fight your sickness. And that's brilliant. That is so human. But once you get rid of sickness and mortality, then what's there to strive for, eh? The Cybermen won't advance, you'll just stop! You'll stay like this forever. A metal Earth with metal men and metal thoughts, lacking the one thing that makes this planet so alive: people! Ordinary, stupid, brilliant people!
Cyber: You are proud of your emotions?
The: Oh, yes.
Cyber: Then tell me, Doctor, have you known grief and rage and pain?
The: Yes. Yes, I have.
Cyber: And they hurt?
The: Oh, yes.
Cyber: I can set you free. Would you not want that? A life without pain?
The: You might as well kill me.
Cyber: Then I take that option.
The: It's not yours to take! You're a Cyber Controller; you don't control me or anything with blood in its heart!

The: I'll give you a fiver if you can tell me what the hell it is, cause I haven't got the foggiest.

Professor: It'll kill you stone dead!
The: Yeah, it's easy to criticize.
Professor: You'll burn up both your hearts, and don't think you'll regenerate!
The: I'll try my hardest not to die. Honestly, it's the main thing.
Professor: Doctor!
The: I'm right! This'll work! Shut up! Now listen, you and Lux, work back up to the main library, prime any data cells you can find for maximum download. And before you say anything else Professor, can I just mention in passing as you're here - shut up!
Professor: [furious] I hate you sometimes!
The: Oh, I know!
Professor: Mr. Lux, with me. Anita, if he dies, I'll kill him!

The: So, you find a breach, probe it, the sphere comes through, 600 feet above London, BAM! It leaves a hole in the fabric of reality. And that hole, you think: "Should we leave it alone, should we back off, should we play it safe?" NAH, you think: "Let's make it BIGGER!"

The: She'd just discovered that her husband was having an affair.
Donna: You'd never think to look at her, smiling away.
The: Well, she was British and moneyed. They carry on, except for this one time. Nobody know what happened. She just vanished.
[Flashes back with a series of newspaper headlines about Agatha Christie's disappearance. The scenes shown are overlayed by a narration from the Doctor]
The: Her car will be found tomorrow morning by the side of a lake. Ten days later, Agatha Chrstie turns up in a hotel in Harrogate. She said she lost her memory. She never spoke about her disappearance until the day she died. Or whatever it was...
Donna: It's about to happen.
The: Right here, right now.
Miss: [rushes straight from the library] Professor! The library! Murder! MURDER!
[the Doctor and Donna rush into the library and look at the body]
The: Blunt instrument. Watch broke as fell, time of death was at a quarter past four.
Donna: Lead pipe. Only Hercule Poirot, but I reckon that's blunt enough.

Jake: [on seeing humans walking in a hypnotic state] What the hell?
Rose: What's going on?
The: It's the earpods. Lumic's taken control.
Rose: Can't you just... I don't know, take them off?
The: Don't! You'll cause a brainstorm. Human race, you're such an intelligent lot. You aren't half susceptible. Give anyone a chance to take control and you submit. Sometimes I think you like it, easy life.

Donna: What time does Vesuvius erupt? When's it due?
The: It's 79 A.D. 23rd of August; which makes Volcano day-tomorrow.
Donna: Plenty of time. We can get everyone out, easy.
The: Yeah, except we're not going to.
Donna: But that's what you do. You're the Doctor. You save people.
The: Not this time. Pompeii is a fixed point in history. What happens, happens. There's no stopping it.
Donna: Says who?
The: Says me.
Donna: What, and you're in charge?
The: TARDIS, Time Lord-yeah!
Donna: Donna, Human-no! I don't need your permission. I'll tell them myself.
The: If you stand in the market place, announce the end of the world they're just gonna think you're a mad ol' Soothsayer. Now come on; TARDIS, we're getting out of here.
[takes off down the road]
Donna: Well, I just might have
[shouts after him]
Donna: something to say about that, Spaceman!
The: [shouts back] Oh, I bet you will!

Donna: [taps Ood to get its attention] Excuse me, are you all like this?
Alien: [as Ood] I do not understand, miss.
Donna: [agitated] Why do you say "miss?" Do I look single?
The: Back to the point...
Donna: Right... sorry...

Rose: So, near future, yea?
The: I had a passing fancy, only it didn't pass, it stopped.

The: Dying in your arms... happy now?
The: You're not dying, don't be stupid. It's only a bullet, just regenerate.
The: No.
The: One little bullet, come on.
The: I guess you don't know me so well... I refuse.
The: [desperate] Regenerate. Just regenerate! Please, please! Just regenerate, come on!
The: And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?

[Sky stares intensely at the frightened passengers]
Dee: We must not look at goblin men.
Biff: What's that supposed to mean?
The: It's a poem. Christina Rossetti.
Dee: We must not look at goblin men / We must not buy their fruits / Who knows upon what soil they fed / Their hungry, thirsty roots?
The: Actually, I don't think that's helping.

[meeting on the stairs; both hug each other]
Donna: [high-pitched voice] Oh my God! I don't believe it!
[looks him over]
Donna: Oh, you got the same suit!
[as her voice returns to normal]
Donna: Don't you ever change?
The: Yeah, thanks Donna; not right now.
[look beneath them to see Miss foster & her gunmen running up the stairway]
The: [to Donna] Just like old times.
[both take off up the stairs]

The: [guiding Donna as she tries to fly the TARDIS] Careful... Left hand down, left hand down! Getting a bit too close to the 1980s there.
Donna: What am I going to do? Put a dent in 'em?
The: Well, someone did.

The: Gotta dash. Things happening. Well, four things. Well, four things and a lizard.

Donna: [she and the Doctor have returned to find the TARDIS missing] You're kidding. You're not telling me the TARDIS is gone?
The: Ok.
Donna: Where is it?
The: You... told me not to tell you.
Donna: Don't get clever in Latin.

[Rose cradles the Doctor, who has just been shot by a Dalek]
The: Hi, you. Long time no see!
Rose: Yeah, well, I've been busy!

Bishop: Start from the beginning. Tell me everything you know.
The: Well, for starters, I know... you can't wrap your hand round your elbow and make your fingers meet.

[last lines]
[the Doctor presses a button. There is an almighty crash as a steam powered ship collides with the Tardis]
The: [bewildered] What?
[coughs as dust settles]
The: What?
[picks up an old fashioned wooden lifebelt and turns it over to find the words: 'R.M.S. Titanic' printed on it]
The: [ominously] What?

The: The hostess... what was her name?
Professor: I don't know.

Joan: It's all becoming clear. The Doctor is the man you'd like to be, doing impossible things with cricket balls.
John: Well, I discovered a talent, that's certainly true.
Joan: And the Doctor has an eye for the ladies...
John: The devil.
Joan: A girl in every fireplace.
John: Aha now, there I have to protest Joan, that's hardly me.
Joan: Says the man dancing with me tonight!

The: You've been driving for two months?
Thomas: Do I look like a teenager? We've been driving for 12 years now.
The: [in disbelief] Sorry?
Thomas: Yeah, started out as newly weds. Feels like yesterday.
Valerie: Feels like 12 years to me.

The: [quiet and confused] Poisson?...
[shocked and excited]
The: No, no, no way, Reinette Poisson? Later Madame D'Etoiles, later still mistress of Louis the XV, uncrowned Queen of French? Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan. Fantastic gardener!
French: Who the hell are you?
The: [triumphant] I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

[the Doctor, Rose, and Queen Victoria are trying to escape through a window at the Torchwood Estate, where a werewolf is chasing them]
Sir: Excuse my manners, ma'am, but I shall go first, the better to assist her majesty's egress.
Queen: A noble sentiment, my Sir Walter Raleigh.
The: Yeah, any chance you could hurry it up?

The: I'm the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

[the Doctor is trying to fix Jack's vortex manipulator]
The: Hold still!
Captain: It won't work! I'm telling you, that thing hasn't worked for years.
The: That's because you didn't have me.

The: [hears ticking noise and sees broken clock] Okay that's scary.
Young: You're scared of a broken clock?
The: Just a bit scared, yeah. Just a tiny bit. 'Cause you see, if this clock's broken, and it's the only one in the room, than what's that?

The: That's him... he's Prime Minister. The Master is Prime Minister of Great Britain.
[On TV Saxon kisses his wife]
The: The Master and his wife?

[observing the resistance of the human populace]
Cyber: I ordered surrender.
The: They're not taking instructions. Don't you understand? You're on every street, you're in their homes. You've got their children! Of course they're gonna fight!

The: Lady Eddison!
Lady: Forgive me, but, who exactly might you be? And, what are you doing here?
The: I'm the Doctor. And this is Miss Donna Noble, of the, Chiswick Nobles.
Donna: Good afternoon, my lady. Topping day, what. Spiffing. Top-hole.
The: No no no no no no no. Don't do that. Don't.
[holds up his psychic paper]
The: We were thrilled to receive your invitation! We met at the Ambassadors' reception.

Mickey: You're just making it up as you go along!
The: Yup. But I do it brilliantly.

The: This isn't about improving, this is about you and your customers living a little longer!
Lazarus: Not a little longer, Doctor. A lot longer. Perhaps indefinitely.

The: Using hypersonic soundwaves to create a state of resonance... That's inspired.
Professor: You understand the theory then.
The: Enough to know that you couldn't possibly have allowed for all the variables.
Professor: No experiment is entirely without risk.
The: That thing nearly exploded. You might as well have stepped into a blender.

Doctor: Prof. Yana, this new science is well beyond me. But all the same, a boost reversal circuit in any time frame must be a circuit which reverses the boost. So, I wonder, what would happen if I... did... this?
[uses sonic screwdriver on a cable, then pulls it apart. Sirens sound and lights flash in lab]
Chantho: Chan, it's working, tho!
Prof. Yana: But how did you do that?
Doctor: While we've been chatting away, I forgot to tell you: I'm brilliant.

Rose: moonlight, but it needs moonlight. It's made of moonlight!
The: Yer well your seventy percent water but you can still drown

Donna: [mimicking the Doctor] 'The plucky young woman who helps me out'?
The: No policewomen in 1926.
Donna: I'll pluck you in a minute!

[defeated]
Davros: But you promised me, Dalek Caan. Why did you not foresee this?
[Caan laughs delightedly]
The: Oh, I think he did. Something's been manipulating the time lines for ages, getting Donna Noble to the right place at the right time...
Dalek: This would always have happened. I only helped Doctor.
Davros: [shocked] You betrayed the Daleks?
Dalek: I *saw* the Daleks. What we have done throughout time and space. I saw the truth of us, creator, and I decreed: No more!

Rose: [after meeting Queen Victoria] I wanted to hear her say, "We are not amused." Bet you five quid I can get her to say it.
The: Taking that bet would be an abuse of my responsibilities as a traveller in time.
Rose: Ten quid?
The: Done.

[the Doctor and Ida have come across the opening of the pit]
The: It looks like some sort of seal or... I've got a horrible feeling the word is trapdoor. Not a good word trapdoor. Never met a trapdoor I liked.
Zachary: Do you think it'll open?
The: That's what trapdoors tend to do.

The: That is enigmatic. That - that is - that is textbook enigmatic.

Professor: [smiling at the Doctor through her space helmet] Hello, sweetie.
The: Get out!
Donna: Doctor...
The: All of you, turn around, get back in you rocket and fly away. Tell your grandchildren you came to the Library and lived. They won't believe you.
Professor: Pop your helmets, everyone, we got breathers.

Cyber: [the Doctor disabled the emotion inhibitor, sending the Cybermen to despair] What have you done?
The: I gave them back their souls. They can see what you've done, Lumic! And it's killing them!
Cyber: DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!
[Lumic screams as the factory goes up in flames]

The: What's your first name?
Midshipman Frame: Alonso
The: [in disbelief] You're kidding me!
Midshipman Frame: What?
The: That's something else I've always wanted to say! Allons-y Alonso!

[looking at a map of the 2nd Great and Bountiful Human Empire and it's Galaxies]
Donna: But look at us. We're everywhere. Is that good or bad though? Are we like explorers, or more like a virus?
The: Sometimes I wonder.

The: Oh, well there goes the advantage of surprise. Still! Cuts to the chase. Stay in here, look after Jackie.
Rose: I'm not looking after my mum!
The: Well you brought her!
Jackie: I was kidnapped!
Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The: And I haven't. Which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high-ground is mine.

Martha: [lifting a Tank of water containing a hand out of Jack's bag and placing it on the tabetop] Oh, my, God! You've got a hand? A hand in a jar? A hand, in a jar, in your bag!
Doctor: Bu-tha-tha-that's *my* hand!
Jack: I said I had a Doctor Detector.
Chantho: Chan, is this a tradition amongst your people, tho?
Martha: Not on my street! What do you mean that's your hand? You've got both your hands! I can see them!
Doctor: Long story. I lost my hand, Christmas Day, in a sword fight.
[Flashback: The Sycorax Leader chops the Doctor's hand off]
Martha: What? And you... grew another hand?
Doctor: Um, yeah. I did, yeah.
[holds it up and waves it]
Doctor: Hello.
Professor: [to the Doctor] Might I ask, what species are you?
Doctor: Time Lord. Last of. Heard of them? Legend or anything? Not even a myth? Blimey, the end of the Universe is a bit humbling.
Chantho: Chan, it is said that I am the last of my species too, tho.
Doctor: Sorry, what was your name?
Professor: My assistant, and good friend Chantho. A survivor of the Malmooth, this was their planet Malcassairo, before we took refuge.
Doctor: The city outside, that was yours?
Chantho: Chan, the conglomeration died, tho.
Doctor: Conglomeration! That's what I said!
Jack: You're supposed to say, "sorry".
Doctor: Oh, yes.
[to Chantho]
Doctor: Sorry.
Chantho: Chan, most grateful, tho.

Donna: [after the Doctor goes back to save Caecillius & his family] Thank You.
The: Yeah.
[pause, he works with dials on the TARDIS; finally looks at her]
The: You were right. Sometimes I need someone.
[beat]
The: Welcome aboard.
Donna: Yeah.
[both smile at each other]

Tim: He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun.
John: [quickly and almost whispering] Stop it.
Tim: He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and can see the turn of the universe.
John: [Panicked/Angry] Stop it, I said stop it!
Tim: And... he's wonderful.

[last lines]
The: There's something in the air, there's something coming.
Rose: What?
[fireworks explode overhead]
The: A storm's approaching.

The: Donna, come on, think: Earth, there must have been some sort of warning. Was there anything happening back in your day, like... electrical storms, freak weather, patterns in the... sky?
Donna: Well, how should I know? Um, no. I don't- I don't think so. No.
The: [disappointed] Oh, OK, nevermind.
Donna: Although, there were the bees disappearing.
The: [dismissive] The bees disappearing.
The: [sarcastic] The *bees* disappearing.
The: [revelational] The bees disappearing!

Donna: Yeah but think about it. There's a murder, a mystery, and Agatha Christie.
The: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: No, but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. I mean that's like meeting Charles Dickens, and he's surrounded by ghosts, at Christmas.
The: Well...
Donna: Oh come on! It's not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy's not real. Is he? Tell me there's no Noddy!
The: [leans in close to her] There's no Noddy.

Victor: You will surrender to me, Doctor! Or this one
[points to Elton]
Victor: dies. You see, I've read about you, Doctor. I've studied you. So passionate! So sweet! You wouldn't let an innocent man die. And I'll absorb him. Unless you give yourself to me!
The: [scratches the back of his neck] Sweet? Maybe. Passionate? I suppose. But don't ever mistake that for "nice" !

The: ...And how am I gonna react when I see this? A great, big, threatening button. A great, big, threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Looks like some sort of control matrix. But what's powering it? Blood?
[tastes red liquid]
The: Yep, blood. Human blood. A positive... with just a dash of iron. Agh. That means... Blood control. Blood Control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years! So you're controlling all the A positives. WHich leaves us with a great, big, stinkin' problem. I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great, big, threatening button which should never ever ever be pressed, then I just want to do this.
[presses button]

Sarah: It wasn't Croydon. Where you dropped me off, it wasn't Croydon.
The: Where was it?
Sarah: Aberdeen.
The: Right... That's next to Croydon, isn't it?

Matron: All our good work. All that healing. The good name of the Sisterhood. You have destroyed everything!
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Oh, go play with a ball of string!

Martha: What's that thing?
The: Sonic screwdriver.
Martha: Well if you're not going to answer me properly.
The: No, really it is. It's a screwdriver, and it's... sonic. Look.
Martha: [scoffing] What else have you got? A laser spanner?
The: I did, but it was stolen by Emmeline Pankhurst. Cheeky woman.

[Reacting to Professor Lazarus's statement on the news]
The: No, I'm sorry, did he say he was going to change what it means to be human?

[the Doctor is preparing to take a lift down to a secret alien base]
The: Right then, thanks, you two, I can handle this, see you later.
Donna: [enters lift] No chance, Martian. You're the man who keeps saving my life. I ain't letting you out of my sight.
The: Going down.
Donna: Lance!
Lance: Maybe I should go to the police.
Donna: Inside!
[Lance gives up and enters the lift]
The: To honour and obey?
Lance: Tell me about it, mate.
Donna: Oi!

The: Why are you repeating?
Sky: Why are you repeating?
The: What is that, learning?
Sky: What is that, learning?
The: Copying?
Sky: Copying?
The: Absorbing?
Sky: Absorbing?
The: The square root of pi is 1.7...
Sky: [talking over] The square root of pi is...
The: 7245385090...
Sky: 1.77245385...
The: 551602729...
Sky: 090551602...
The: 816748334...
Sky: 729816748...
The: 1. Wow.
Sky: 3341. Wow.
[the passengers share amazed, incredulous looks]
Professor: But that's impossible.
Sky: [turning to look at Professor Hobbes] But that's impossible.
Dee: She couldn't repeat all that.
Sky: [to Dee Dee] She couldn't repeat all that.
Val: Tell her to stop.
Sky: [to Val Cane] Tell her to stop.

The: [referring to Donna's earlier question about time machines, to which he answered that they were impossible] You know what I said before, about a time machine? Well... I lied. And now we're going to use it.

The: They did what?
Bishop: I'm sorry?
The: They left her where?
Bishop: Just... in the street.
The: The street. They left her in the street. They took her face, and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And as a result, that makes things... simple. Very, very simple. Do you know why?
Bishop: No.
The: Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this earth that can stop me!

Fourteenth: I know these teeth...
[realises he resembles his tenth form]
Fourteenth: What? What? What?

Jackie: Just think of it though: our families coming back home, all the people we've lost. Don't you think it's beautiful?
The: I think it's horrific.

The: Allons-y!

Professor: Pretty boy! With me, I said!
[Donna looks at the Doctor suggestively]
The: [pause] Oh, I'm pretty boy!
Donna: Yes! Oh, that came out a bit quick.
The: Pretty?
[Donna and the Doctor shrug]

Rose: [They are trapped in the library, but the werewolf has stopped attacking for the moment] Can I just say one thing?
The: What?
Rose: [Squeals excitedly] A werewolf!
The: [Just as excited] I know!
[They run to each other and hug. Then he pulls back to look over her]
The: Are you okay?
Rose: Yeah, I'm fine.

The: Fascinating race, the Weeping Angels. The only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely. No mess, no fuss, they just zap you into the past and let you live to death. The rest of your life used up and blown away in the blink of an eye. You die in the past, and in the present they consume the energy of all the days you might have had, all your stolen moments. They're creatures of the abstract. They live off potential energy.
Billy: What in God's name are you talking about?
Martha: Trust me, just nod when he stops for breath.
The: Tracked you down with this. This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at 30 paces, whether you want it to or not, actually, so I've learned to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.

[Timothy sets eyes on the fob watch and hears voices coming from within]
Woman: Time Lord.
Young: The time is coming.
Woman: Time Lord.
The: Eternity and infinity.
Young: Right, Timothy- Timothy! Hide yourself.
The: The secret lies within. I'm trapped. I'm caged inside the cogs and metal in the dark, but waiting. Always waiting.

The: Turns out we are in the middle of a murder mystery. One of yours, Dame Agatha.
Agatha: Dame?
The: Oh. Sorry, not yet.

[the Doctor and Martha are hiding from the Judoon]
The: Ah, you've got a little shop. I like a little shop!

Donna: It's weird... but... being with you, I can't tell what's right and what's wrong anymore.
The: It's better that way. People who know for certain tend to be like Mr. Halpen.

Female: People of the Earth, we come in peace. We bring great gifts. We bring technology and wisdom and protection and all we ask in return is your friendship.
The: Oh, sweet. And this species has identified itself. They're called the Toclafane.
The: What?
The: And tomorrow morning, they will appear. Not in secret, but to all of you. Diplomatic relations with a new species will begin. Tomorrow, we take our place in the universe.

The: [playing the organ] Need to turn this up to eleven.

[after the TARDIS has crashlanded]
The: We fell out of the vortex, through the Void into nothingness. We're at some sort of no-place, a silent realm, a lost dimension...
Mickey: [looking outside] Otherwise known as "London".

The: Daleks are bad enough at any time, but right now they're vulnerable. And that makes them more dangerous than ever.

The: Yeah, I remember... I was deep in the Ardennes, trying to find Charlemagne. He had been kidnapped by an insane computer.
Agatha: Charlemagne lived centuries ago!
The: I've got a very good memory.

John: I dream I'm this adventurer. This daredevil, a madman. The Doctor, I'm called. And last night, I dreamt that you were there. As my companion.

Donna: I can't do it!
The: Trust me.
Donna: Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?
The: Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is *so* alive. Now jump!

The: The ripe old smell of humans. You survive. Oh, you might have spent a million years evolving into clouds of gas and another million as downloads, but you always revert to the same basic shape. The fundamental human. End of the universe and here you are. Indomitable, that's the word. Indomitable!

Martha: You *grew* another hand.
The: [waves his hand at her] Hello again.
[Martha isn't convinced. The Doctor stands up]
The: It's fine.
[the Doctor puts his hand out]
The: Look, really it's me.
Martha: [Martha shakes his hand] All this time and you're still full of surprises!
[the Doctor smiles and winks at her]
Chantho: [giggling] Chan, you are most unusual, tho.
The: Well...
[the Doctor, Martha, and Chantho giggle]

Joan: Where did you learn to draw?
John: Gallifrey.
Joan: Is that in Ireland?
John: Yes it must be.
Joan: You're not Irish?
John: Not at all, no. My father Sydney was a watchmaker from Nottingham, and my mother Verity was - well, she was a nurse, actually.
Joan: Oh, we make such good wives!

The: [as Donna appears in the TARDIS] What? What? What?

Manservant: Who the hell are you?
The: [laughing] I'm The Doctor. And I just snogged Madame de Pompadour!

Rose: Oh, I love this! Can I just say, traveling with you... I love it.
The: Me too.

The: When did you realise?
Captain: Earth, 1892. Got in a fight on Ellis Island. Man shot me through the heart, then I woke up. Thought it was kinda strange. But then it never stopped. Fell off a cliff, trampled by horses, world war one, world war two, poison, starvation, a stray javelin...
The: [painful] Ooh!
Captain: In the end, I got the message. I'm the man who can never die. And all that time you knew.
The: That's why I left you behind. It's not easy, even just... just looking at you, Jack, 'cause you're wrong.
Captain: Thanks.

The: Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. Good Luck.

The: Rage, rage, against the dying of the light...
William: I might use that.
The: You can't, it's someone else's.

Queen: What exactly... I pray, tell me, someone, please... What exactly is that creature?
The: You'd call it a werewolf, but technically it's more of a lupine-wavelength haemovariform...

The: But, the soothsayers, they all consume the vapors, yeah?
Caecillius: That's how they see.
The: [putting on glasses and leaning into the hypocaust] Ipso facto.
Caecillius: [looking over behind the Doctor] Look, you...

The: That's gorgeous!
Donna: Oy! Don't get all space man - what does it mean?

The: If I don't like your plan, it will end.
Mr. Finch: Fascinating. Your people were peaceful to the point of indolence. You seem to be something new. Would you declare war on us, Doctor?
The: I'm so old now. I used to have so much mercy. You get one warning. That was it.

Yvonne: They're invading the planet.
The: It's not an invasion. It's too late for that. It's a victory.

Lazarus: Why don't you come out and face me?
The: Have you looked in the mirror lately? Why would I want to face that, hmm?

[series 3 trailer]
Martha: I battle with textbooks.
The: I battle with monsters.
Martha: I've tried to save money.
The: I've tried to save the universe.
Martha: I'm going to be a doctor.
The: I *am* the Doctor.
Martha: Well, let's hope this box is big enough for the both of us.

The: Cavaet emptor.
Caecillius: Oh, you're Celtic.

The: I just want you to know, there are worlds out there, safe in the sky because of her. That there are people living in the light, and singing songs of Donna Noble, a thousand, million light years away. They will never forget her, while she can never remember. And for one moment... one shining moment... she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe.
Sylvia: She still is. She's my daughter.
The: Then maybe you should tell her that once in a while.

[Rose spots a cat while she and the Doctor are in the street]
Rose: [Kneeling down to stroke it] Aren't you a beautiful boy!
The: [has his back to Rose and thinks that Rose is talking to him] Thanks. I've been experimenting with back-combing... oh.
[the Doctor sees Rose stroking the cat and gives the feline a uncomfortable look. Rose notices this]
Rose: [looking at the Doctor] What?
The: No, I'm not really a cat person. Once you've been threatened by one in a nuns wimple, kind of takes the joy out of it.

Sycorax: [shouts] I demand to know who you are!
The: [shouts, imitating him] I don't know!
The: See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I - I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy?
[he winks at Rose]
The: Am I an old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob.

The: And where is Mr. Lumic? Don't we get to meet our lord and master?
Cyber: He has been upgraded.
The: So he's like you.
Cyber: He is superior. The Lumic unit has been designated Cyber Controller.
[two doors open, and the cyber-controller glides in on a throne]
Cyber: This is the age of steel; and I am its creator.

The: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a nonlinear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff.

The: So far they're just losing weight, but the Matron's gone up to emergency parthenogenesis.
Donna: And that's when they convert...
The: Skeletons, organs, everything. A million people are gonna die!

Davros: I have my children, Doctor. What do you have now?
The: After all this time - everything we saw, everything we lost - I have only one thing to say to you... *Bye*!

Donna: [knocks at Stacey Campbell's door] Stacey Campbell? My name's Donna.
[She holds up her ID card to prove it]
Donna: I represent ADIPOSE Industries, and you're on the list of our valued customers.
The: [knocks at Roger Davey's door] Mr. Roger Davey, I'm calling on behalf of ADIPOSE Industries.
[holds up his psychic paper]
The: I just need to ask you a few questions.

The: The Vashta Nerada live on all the worlds in this system, but you hunt in forests. What are you doing in a library?
Other: We should go. Doctor!
The: In a minute. You came to a library to hunt, why? Just tell me why.
Proper: We... did not.
The: Oh, hello.
Proper: We did not.
The: Take it easy, you'll get the hang of it. "Did not" what?
Proper: We... did not... come... here.
The: Well, of course you did, of course you came here.
Proper: We come *from* here.
The: "From here"?
Proper: We hatched here.
The: But you hatch from trees, from spores in trees.
Proper: These are our forests.
The: You're nowhere near a forest, look around you.
Proper: [insistent] These are our forests.
The: You're not in a forest, you're in a library. There are no trees in a... library.
Other: We should go. Doctor!
The: [realizing] Books. You came in the books. Microspores in a million, million books.
Other: We should go. Doctor!
The: [looks out to the endless city of bookshelves] Oh, look at that. The forests of the Vashta Nerada, pulped and printed and bound. A million million books, hatching shadows.
Other: We should go. Doctor!
The: [noticing the repetition, the Doctor turns to find that Other Dave has also been consumed: another skeleton inside a suit, neural relay blinking] Oh... Dave! Oh, Dave, I'm so sorry.
Proper: [advancing from one side] Hey! Who turned out the lights?
Other: [advancing from the other side] We should go. Doctor!

[Martha has "Mr. Saxon" on her phone. The doctor takes it from her]
The: I'm here.
The: [the Master looks up from the speaker phone, takes his cell phone out of his pocket and turns it on] Doctor.
The: Master.
The: [smiles] I love it when you say my name.
The: You chose it. A psychiatrist's field day.
The: As you chose yours. The man who makes people better. How santimonious is that?
The: So! Prime Minister, then.
The: I know! It's good, isn't it?
The: Who are those creatures? Because they're not the Toclafane; that's just a made-up name like the bogeyman.
The: Do you remember all those made-up tales about the Toclafane when we were kids? Back home? Where IS it, Doctor?
The: [pause] Gone.
The: [standing up in disbelief] How can Gallifrey be GONE?
The: [pause] It burnt.
The: And the Time Lords?
The: Dead.
[pause]
The: And the Daleks. More or less. What happened to you?
The: The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I'd be the perfect warrior for a Time War. I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I saw it. I ran. I ran so far. I made myself human so they would never find me. Because... because I was so scared.
The: I know.
The: ALL of them? But not YOU. Which must mean...
The: I was the only one who could end it. And I tried. I did. I tried everything.
The: What did it feel like, though? Two almighty civilizations, burning.
[sighs at the thought]
The: Oh, tell me, how did that feel?
The: Stop it!
The: You must have been like God.
The: I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other!
The: Are you asking me out on a date?

Donna: Not what you'd call a natural parent are you?
The: They stole a tissue sample at gunpoint and processed it. It's not what I'd call natural parenting.

The: [in pain] You mined that sun. Skipped its surface for cheap fuel. You should've scanned for life!
Kath: I don't understand.
Martha: Doctor, what are you talking about?
The: That sun's alive. A living organism. They scooped out its heart. Used it for fuel and now it's screaming!
Kath: What do you mean? How can a sun be alive? Why is he saying that?
The: Because it's living in me.
Kath: [gasps] Oh my god.
The: Humans! You grabbed whatever is nearest and bleed it dry! You should've scanned!
Kath: It takes too long. We'd be caught. Fusion scans are illegal.
The: [screams in pain] Martha! You got to freeze me quickly!
Martha: What?
The: Stasis chamber. You got to take me below minus 200. Freeze it out of me!
[groans in pain]
The: It'll use me to kill you if you don't. The closer we get to the sun, the stronger the link! Med center! Quickly!
Martha: [to Capt. McDonnell] Help me!

Rose: What now?
The: I want to go to the games; that's what we came for!
Rose: Go on... give us a clue. Which events do we do well in?
The: Alright, well I'll tell you this: Papua New Guinea surprises everyone in the shot put.

The: Mickey! Hello. And Harriet Jones for Flydale North. Blimey, it's like "This Is Your Life."

[after General Staal unmasks]
Ross: He's like a potato. A baked potato. A talking baked potato.
The: Now, Ross, don't be rude. You look like a pink weasel to him.

Rose: [the Doctor defeated the Sycorax Leader] Couldn't have said it better. Bravo.
[rose helps the doctor put on his robe]
The: Not bad for a man in his Jimjames very Authur Dent,
[the doctor reaches in to his robe pocket]
The: but what have I got in here
[the doctor pulls out something]
The: a satsuma
[he looks at rose]
The: oh that friend of your mothers, but doesn't that just some up, you go through all the present and right there tucked in the back is one stupid little satsuma, who wants a satsuma for...
[the sycoras leader runs up behind him with his sword, the doctor throws the satsuma at the control button]
The: No second chances I'm that sort of a man.

Martha: Do you reckon it's gonna work, those two?
The: I don't know. Anywhere else in the universe I might worry about them, but New York- it's what this city's good at. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses and maybe the odd pig-slave-Dalek-mutant-hybrid, too.
Martha: [laughs] The pig and the showgirl.

[repeated line]
River: [each at different times to another] Spoilers.

The: [about Rose] She's a feral child. I bought her for six pounds in Old London. It was either her or the elephant man.

The: It strikes me, Professor, that you've got a room that no one can enter without dying. Is that correct?
Prof. Yana: Yes.
The: Well...
[Jack comes back to life]
The: ...I think I've got just the man.
Captain: Was someone kissing me?

The: There we go, d'you see? To generate that gravity field and the funnel, you'd need a power source with an inverted self-extrapolating reflex of six to the power of six every six seconds.
Rose: That's all the sixes.
The: And it's impossible.
Zachary: It took us two years to work that out!
The: I'm very good.

General: An intruder!
The: An intruder? How'd he get in? Intruder window.

Roger: Some of these young boys deserve a decent thrashing.
Davenport: Couldn't agree more, sir.
[Roger clears his throat]
Donna: Typical. All the decent men are on the other bus.
The: Or Time Lords.

The: A giant wasp! Well, there are tons of emorphorous insectivorous lifeforms, but none in this galactic sector.
Agatha: I think I understood some of those words... enough to know that you're completely potty!

Sir: It's all my fault. I should have sent you away. I tried to suggest something was wrong... I thought you might notice. Did you think there was nothing strange about my household staff?
The: Well, they were bald, athletic, your wife's away... I just thought you were happy!

Rose: Good job my mum's not here, she'd be fighting the wolf off with her bare hands for that.
The: And she'd win.

The: Did you have to say that? 'There's no turning back?' That's almost as bad as 'Nothing could possibly go wrong' or 'This'll be the best Christmas Walford's ever had.'

The: Who thought of the name?
Robot: Information: it was chosen as the most popular vessel on the planet Earth.
The: Did they tell you why it was famous?
Robot: Information: All designations are chosen by Mr. Max Capricorn, President of
[malfunctions]
Robot: Mericks, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max, Max...
[a crew member comes over and shuts the Host off]

The: What was it you said the flight deck smelled of?
Rose: Cooking.
The: Human flesh plus heat. Barbecue.

The: [sees Martha's mother walking towards them; smiles] Ah, Mrs. Jones; we never finished our chat.
Francine: [without preamble she slaps the Doctor round the face]
Francine: Keep away from my daughter!
Martha: Mum, what are you doing?
The: [rubbing his jaw] Always the mothers! Every time!

The: Novice Hane!
[he hugs her]
The: No, hold on get off, last time we met you were breeding humans for experimentation!

The: [after carrying the beacon the rest of the way to the Olympic Stadium] WHOAHOHOHOHOO!

Sycorax: You stand as this world's champion?
The: Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you've just summed me up.

The: [chasing after the giant wasp] Don't let it get away! Quick! Before it reverts back to human form! Where are you? Come on! There's nowhere to run! Show yourself!
[Lady Clemency Eddison, Reverend Golightly, Colonel Hugh Curbishley, Robina Redmond, and Roger Curbishly simultaneously open the doors of their rooms and stare at the Doctor]
The: [pause] Oh...
[Davenport sticks his head tentatively out of Roger Curbishly's room]
The: That's just cheating!

The: [grabs a newspaper] The date on this newspaper.
Donna: What about it?
The: It's the day that Agatha Christie disappeared.

The: Blimey, you can shout!

The: What are you staring at exactly?
Jenny: You keep insisting you're not a soldier but look at you, drawing up strategies like a proper general.
The: No, I'm trying to stop the fighting.
Jenny: Isn't every soldier?

[after landing with the TARDIS]
Martha: But are we safe? I mean, can we move around and stuff?
The: Of course we can. Why not?
Martha: It's like in those films: if you step on a butterfly, you change the future of the human race.
The: Then, don't step on any butterflies. What have butterflies ever done to you?

[last lines]
Rose: So, where we gonna go first?
The: [pointing into the sky] Um. That way. No, hold on - that way.
Rose: That way?
The: Mmm?
Rose: [smiling] Yeah. That way.

Sycorax: Who are you?
The: Well, that's the question, isn't it?
Sycorax: I demand to know who you are!
The: I DON'T KNOW! I mean, I know I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I-I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. So I'm testing. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic?
[hopeful]
The: Sexy?
[winks]

The: [Over the phone] Jackie! Where are you?
Jackie: I don't know! Staircase!
The: Can you see anything that can tell us where you are? Anything at all?
Jackie: OOH! FIRE EXTINGUISHER!
The: [Sarcastically] Yeah, that helps!

Rose: I want her to say
[she puts on an affected upper-classed accent]
Rose: 'we are not amused'. I bet you five quid I can make her say it.
The: Well, if I gambled on that, it'd be an abuse of my privileges of traveller in time.
Rose: ...Ten quid?
The: Done.

William: How can a man so young have eyes so old?
The: I do a lot of reading.

Colonel: Jenkins.
Ross: Sir!
Colonel: You will accompany the Doctor; take orders from him.
The: Yeah, I don't do orders.
Colonel: Any sign of trouble get Jenkins to declare a code red. And good luck, Sir.
[salutes the Doctor]
The: I said no salutes.
Colonel: [as he walks away] Now you're giving orders.
The: [half smiling] Little bit cheeky, aren't we?

The: Oi, Santa, Word of advice if you are attacking a man with a sonic screw driver
[picks up a microphone]
The: Don't let him near the sound system

[the Doctor makes muffled noises while making a shaking motion]
Donna: I can't understand you! How many words?
[the Doctor holds up one finger]
Donna: One! One word! Shake, milk-shake, milk! Milk! No? Not milk! Um, shake, shake, shake! Cocktail shake! What, d'you want a Harvey Wallbanger?
The: Harvey Wallbanger?
Donna: Well, I don't know!
The: How is Harvey Wallbanger one word?
Agatha: What do you need Doctor?
The: Salt! I was miming salt! I need salt! I need something salty!
[Donna grabs a bag from the counter]
Donna: What about this?
The: What is it?
Donna: Salt!
The: That's too salty!
Donna: Oh, that's too salty!
Agatha: What about this?
[Agatha hands the Doctor a jar and he upends it, eating the food]
Donna: What's that?
Agatha: Anchovies.

The: [upon finding Billy] Welcome! Oh, that's all right, don't get up. Time travel without a capsule, nasty stuff. Catch your breath. Don't go swimming for half an hour.

The: They survived, they always survive, while I lose everything...
Tallulah: The metal thing? What was it?
The: It's called a Dalek. And it's not just metal, it's alive.
Tallulah: You're kidding me.
The: Do I look like I'm kidding? Inside that shell, there's a creature born to hate... whose only thought is to destroy everything and everyone that isn't a Dalek too. It won't stop until it's killed every human being alive.
Tallulah: But if that's not a human being, that kinda implies... it's from outer space.
[beat]
Tallulah: Yet again, that's a no with the kidding, oy.

The: You might be out there somewhere.
Captain: I can go meet myself.
The: Well, the only man you're ever going to be happy with.
Captain: This new regeneration, it's kinda cheeky.

The: So the year five billion, the sun expands, the earth gets roasted...
Rose: That was our first date.
The: We had chips!

Donna: But I'm history, too. You saved me in 2008, saved all of us. Why is that different?
The: Some things are fixed, some things are in flux. Pompeii is fixed.
Donna: How do you know which is which?
The: Because that's how I see the universe. Every waking second, I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not... That's the burden of the Timelord, Donna. And I'm the only one left.

Captain: [to a refugee] Captain Jack Harkness. And who are you?
The: Stop it!

The: [reacting to the ghosting of Miss Evangelista] She's a footprint on the beach and the tide's coming in.

Toby: There was some form of civilization... they buried something. And now it's reaching out, calling.
The: And you came.
Ida: How could we not?
The: So, when it comes right down to it, why did you come here? Why did you do that? Why? I'll tell you why: Because it was there! Brilliant! Excuse me, uh, Zack, wasn't it?
Zachary: That's me.
The: Just stand there, 'cause I'm gonna hug you... Is that all right?
Zachary: 'Spose so.
The: Here we go. Coming in.
[embraces Captain Crossflane]
The: Ah! Human beings! You are amazing! Ha! Thank you.
[releases the captain]
Zachary: Not at all.
The: But apart from that, you're completely mad. You should get back in that ship and fly for your lives.

The: But you've been drawing though. I'm rubbish. Stickmen are about my limit. I can do this, though.
[gives a Vulcan salute]
The: Can you do that?

The: [moving stone tablets] Put this one... there. *This* one... there. Uh, keep that one upside down. What have you got?
Lucius: Enlighten me.
The: What, the soothsayer doesn't know?
Lucius: A seed may float on the breeze in any direction.
The: Yea, I knew you were gonna say that. But- it's an energy converter!
Lucius: An energy converter of what?
The: I don't know! Isn't that brilliant? I love not knowing! Keeps me on me toes. It must be awful being a prophet, waking up every morning, "Is it raining? Yes, it is. I said so." Takes all the fun out of life.

Rose: [referring to K-9] Why does it looked so... disco?
The: Oi! Listen, in the year 5000 this was cutting edge!

The: You're a very smart man. l'd call you genius except l'm the the room.

The: [after Greyhound 40/Ross is killed] His name wasn't Greyhound 40, his name was Ross... Now listen to me, and GET THEM OUT OF THERE!

Thomas: This Martha, she must mean a lot to you.
The: Hardly know her. I was too busy showing off.

[Donna tries to look at a book, but the Doctor snatches it away]
The: Spoilers!
Donna: What?
The: These are books from your future. You don't want to read ahead, spoil all the surprises. It's like peeking at the end.
Donna: Isn't travelling with you one big spoiler?

[regarding the loss of his only son to the Black Death in his absence]
Shakespeare: Made me question everything, the futility of this fleeting existence, to be or not to be.
[pauses]
Shakespeare: Oooh, that's quite good.
The: You should write that down.
Shakespeare: Mmm, maybe not. Bit pretentious?
The: Ehm.

The: But who designed this, Lucius, hm? Who gave you these instructions?
Lucius: I think you've babbled enough.
The: Lucius, really, tell me. Honestly, I'm on your side. I can help.
Lucius: You insult the Gods! There can be only one sentence.
Lucius: [to soldiers] At arms!
[soldiers pull their swords on the Doctor, who backs away]
The: Oh. Morituri te salutant.
Lucius: Celtic prayers won't help you now.

Donna: [enters ADIPOSE Industries through the front doors] Donna Noble, Health and Safety.
The: [enters the building by using his sonic screwdriver to disable the alarms on the emergency exit] John Smith, Health and Safety.

[talking about Harold Saxon]
Captain: Former Minister of Defence, first came to prominence when he shot down the Racnoss on Christmas Eve. Nice work by the way.
The: Oh, thanks.

The: Is that the kind of person I am? Rude and not ginger?

Rose: I don't care, *just do something*!
Cassandra (in the Doctor's body): Oh, I'm so gonna regret this!
[she leaves him and enters an infected woman's body]
Cassandra (in the woman's body): Oh, sweet lord! I look disgusting!

Caecillius: Who are you?
The: I am... Spartacus.
Donna: And so am I.
Caecillius: Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?
The: Oh, no no no, we're not married.
Donna: [overlapping the Doctor] We're not together.
Caecillius: Oh, brother and sister? Yes, of course, you look very much alike.
The: [looking at each other; surprised and a bit disgruntled] Really?

[on the Paradox machine]
The: My masterpiece, Doctor. A living TARDIS, strong enough to hold the paradox in place, allowing the past and the future to collide in infinite majesty.
The: But you're changing history. Not just Earth, the entire universe.
The: I'm a Time Lord. I have that right.
The: But even then... why come all this way just to destroy?
Toclafane: We come backwards in time, all to build a brand new empire lasting one hundred trillion years.
The: With me as their master. Time Lord and humans combined. Haven't you always dreamt of that, Doctor?

The: Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones. 'Cause I'm a completely new man. I could bring down your Government with a single word.
Harriet: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met. But I don't think you're quite capable of that.
The: No, you're right. Not a single word.
[pause]
The: Just six.
Harriet: I don't think so.
The: Six words.
Harriet: Stop it!
The: Six.
[approaches Alex, whispering in his ear]
The: Don't you think she looks tired?

The: Nah, never. Well, maybe.

Davros: Step away from the controls!
Donna: [she flips a switch] And... spin.
Dalek: Help me! Help me!
Captain: Ha ha ha!
Donna: [she flips another switch] And... the other way.
Dalek: Ah!
Cloned: What did you do?
Donna: A flipstick circuit breaker in the psychonetic threshold manipulator.
Cloned: But that's brilliant!
The: Why did we never think of that?
Donna: Because you two were just Time Lords, you dumbos!

Dalek: But your weapon is harmless...
The: It's harmless, that's why I like it, doesn't kill doesn't maim, but I'll tell you what it does do, it is very good at opening doors

The: Agatha Christie! I was just talking about you the other day! I said 'I bet she's brilliant!' I'm the Doctor, this is Donna. Oh, I love your stuff! What a mind! You fool me every time! Well... almost every time. Well... once or twice... Well... once. But it was a good once!

The: And your name?
General: General Staal, of the tenth Sontaran fleet. Staal the Undefeated!
The: Aw, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? Staal the Not-quite-so-undefeated-anymore-but-never-mind?

The: You were supposed to be dying.
Face: There are better things to do today. Dying can wait.

Martha: What's it for? What does a paradox machine do?
Captain: More important, can you stop it?
The: Not until I know what it's doing. Touch the wrong bit; blow up our solar system.
Martha: Then we've got to get to the Master.
Captain: Yeah, how are we going to stop him?
The: Oh, I've got a way. Sorry, didn't I mention it?

[Jack prepares to enter a deadly radiation filled room]
The: Whoa, what are you taking your clothes off for?
Captain: I'm goin' in!
The: By the looks of it, I'd say the Stet radiation doesn't affect clothes, only flesh.
Captain: Well, I'll look good though.

Martha: [on the TARDIS, The Doctor mouthing along silently] It's bigger on the inside!
The: [aloud] Is it? I hadn't noticed.

Martha: [referring to the Globe theatre] It's like your police box; small wooden box, with all that power inside!
The: Oh, Martha Jones, I like you.

Rose: You all right?
The: I'm always all right.

Martha: Hold on, mister! Two hearts?
The: Don't make a habit of it.
[Martha laughs as The Doctor gets up, seemingly fine, but then he yells out in pain]
The: Aaah! I've only got one heart working! How do you people *cope*? I've gotta get the other one started. Hit me. Hit me on the chest.
[He gestures with his right arm, so Martha hits him on the right of his chest]
The: Gaaah! Other *side*!
[Martha hits him on the left of his chest]
The: Urrgh! On the back! On the back!
[He bends over and she hits him with both hands clasped together on the back]
Martha: Uh! Eh! Left a bit!
[She hits him the same way to the left of his spine]
The: Aaah!
[cracks his neck and back and stands up]
The: Lovely! There we go! Bada-*boom*-ba!
The: [sniffs] Well, what are you standing there for?
The: [runs out] Come on! The Dome!

The: Now, first things first. Be honest, how do I look?
Rose: Uh... different.
The: Am I... ginger?
Rose: No, you're just sort of... brown.
The: Aw! I always wanted to be ginger!

The: [to Cassandra] You are so desperate to stay alive - why don't you *live* a little?

[speaking though a video-audio comms link]
General: Doctor. Breathing your last?
Colonel: My God, they're like Trolls.
The: [in undertone] Yeah, love your bit of diplomacy, thanks.
[back to Staal]
The: So, tell me, General Staal. Since when did you lot become cowards?
General: [outraged] How... dare you!
Colonel: [annoyed] Oh, *that's* diplomacy?

The: What's wrong with this computer? Judoon must've locked it down. Judoon platoon upon the moon...

Captain: Captain Jack Harkness.
The: Stop it!
Captain: Can't I say hello to anyone?
Chantho: Chan-I do not protest-tho.
Captain: [winks] Maybe later, blue.

The: [Scottish Accent] I'm Doctor James McCrimmon, from the township of... er... Balamory

[the Doctor runs to the kitchen. Agatha and Donna follow]
The: [grabs Davenport] Ginger beer!
Davenport: I beg your pardon?
The: I need ginger beer!
Mrs. Hart: The gentleman's gone mad!

The: Nice door skills, Donna.
Donna: Yeah, well, you know. Boyfriends. Sometimes you need the element of surprise.

Larry: [starting the DVD extra] And there he is.
Sally: The Doctor.
Larry: Who's the Doctor?
Sally: He's the Doctor.
The: Yep, that's me.
Sally: OK, that was scary.
Larry: No, it sounds like he's replying but he always says that.
The: Yes I do.
Larry: And that.
The: Yup. And this.
Sally: He can hear us. Oh my god you can really hear us!
Larry: Of course he can't hear us. Look. "Yup, that's me." "Yes I do." "Yup. And this." Next is:
Larry: "Are you gonna read out the whole thing?"
Larry: Sorry.

The: [just after leaving the ship inside the TARDIS] By the way, you'll be needing this.
[reveals a TARDIS key hanging on a string]
Martha: Really?
The: Frequent fliers privilege.
[Martha hold out both hands, excited; The Doctor places the key in her palms]
Martha: Thank you.
The: Don't mention it.

The: Brilliant!

The: [after a witch stopped one of his hearts' beating] Only one heart working... how do you cope like this?

The: [Everyone is panicking after the Beast reveals itself. The Doctor causes a whistle of feedback] You want voices in the dark? Then listen to mine! That thing is playing on very basic fears! Darkness! Childhood! Nightmares! All that stuff!
Danny: But that's how the Devil works!
The: Or a good psychologist!
Ida: But how did it know about my father!
[the Doctor pauses]
The: Okay but what makes his version of the truth any better than mine, hmm? 'Cause I'll tell you what I can see: humans! Brilliant humans! Humans who traveled all the way across space! Flying in a tiny little rocket right into the orbit of a black hole! Just for the sake of discovery, that's amazing! Do you hear me? Amazing! All of you! The Captain! His officer, his elder, his juniors, his friends! All with one advantage: the Beast is alone. We are not. If we can use that to fight against him...
[the Beast telekinetically snaps the capsule cable, cutting the Doctor off]

Eddie: Don't mind the wife, she rattles on a bit.
The: Well maybe she should rattle on a bit more. I'm not convinced you're doing your patriotic duty. Those flags. Why are they not flying?
Eddie: There we are Rita, I told you. Get them up, Queen and country!
Rita: I'm sorry.
Eddie: Get it done. Do it now.
The: Hold on a minute.
Eddie: Like the gentleman says.
The: Hold on a minute. You've got hands, Mr Connolly. Two big hands. So why's that your wifes job?
Eddie: Well it's housework, isn't it?
The: And that's a womans job?
Eddie: Course it is!
The: Mr Connolly, what gender is the Queen?
Eddie: She's a female.
The: And are you suggesting the Queen does the housework?
Eddie: No! No, not at all.
The: Then get busy!
Eddie: Right, yes sir. You'll be proud of us sir. We'll have Union Jacks left, right, and centre.
Rose: 'Scuse me Mr Connolly, hang on a minute. Union Jacks?
Eddie: Yes, that's right, isn't it?
Rose: That's the Union Flag. It's the Union Jack only when it's flown at sea.
Eddie: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I... I do apologise.
Rose: Well, don't get it wrong again. There's a good man, now get to it!
The: Right then! Nice and comfy, at Her Majesty's Leisure.
[to Rose]
The: Union Flag?
Rose: Mum went out with a sailor.
The: Oh, I bet she did.

[after Donna's appearance in the TARDIS]
Donna: Where am I? I demand that you tell me right now, where am I?
The: Inside the TARDIS.
Donna: The what?
The: The TARDIS!
Donna: The what?
The: THE TARDIS!
Donna: The what?
The: It's called the TARDIS!
Donna: That's not even a proper word! You're just saying things!

Ida: Really, though, Doctor. Who are you?
The: Oh... the stuff of legends.

The: But if the universe is falling apart, then what does Utopia mean?
Professor: [Professor Yana appears, looking pleased, looks between The Doctor and Jack. Then, pointing to Jack] The Doctor?
The: That's me.
Professor: Ah! Good!
[excitedly grabs the Doctor's hand a runs down the corridor with him in tow]
Professor: GOOD! Good! Good! Good, good, good, good! Good! Good!
The: [looks back at Jack and Martha] It's "good" apparently.

The: Martha, this watch is me.
Martha: Right, ok, gotcha.
[beat]
Martha: No, wait, hold on, completely lost!

Donna: Where are we going now?
The: Into the volcano.
Donna: No way!
The: Yes, way.
[spins water pistol around finger]
The: Have it your way.

[first lines]
The: Well, there we go, universal roaming.
[tosses Martha her newly altered cell phone]
The: Never have to worry about a signal again.
Martha: No way. This is too mad. You're telling me I can phone anyone anywhere in space and time on my mobile?
The: As long as you know the area code.

Donna: [on the Sontaran ship; talking softly] There's a door.
The: [talking just as soft] There should be a switch on the side.
Donna: Yeah, there is. But it's a Sontaran switch; you need three fingers.
The: You've got three fingers.
Donna: Oh, yeah.
[shapes her hand to form 3 fingers; places it in the switch; the door opens]
Donna: I'm through.
The: Oh,
[talking right into the mouth piece]
The: you're brilliant you are.
Donna: [sighs] Shut up.

The: ...And in those days, everybody had a tea party to go to. Have you ever had those little cakes, with the crunchy ball bearings on top... ever had those... those things? Nobody else in the entire galaxy has ever even bothered to make edible ball bearings! Genius!

Donna: You're saying bees are aliens?
The: Don't be so daft - not all of them.

The: Right, physics! Physics, eh? Physics, physics, physics, physics, physics, physcis. Physics! Hope you're getting all this down.

Rose: [On the Cybermen] They're people?
The: They were. Now they've had all their humanity taken away. That's a living brain jammed inside a cybernetic body, with a heart of steel. All emotions removed.
Rose: Why no emotion?
The: Because it hurts.

Rose: Is that the Koh-i-noor?
The: Oh yes. The greatest diamond in the world.
Queen: Given to me as the spoils of war. Perhaps its legend is now coming true. It is said that whoever owns it must surely die.
The: Well, that's true of anything if you wait long enough.

The: People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff.

The: By the ancient rights of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential, when you talk of the Earth, then make sure that you tell them this...
[shouts]
The: ...it is defended!

Jackie: Well, I reckon you're mad, the pair of you. It's like you go looking for trouble.
The: Trouble's just the bits in-between! It's all waiting out there, Jackie. And it's brand new to me - all those planets and creatures and horizons! I haven't seen them yet, not with these eyes. And it is gonna be... fantastic!

Yvonne: [pointing to Rose's image on the laptop] So this is?
The: That's Rose Tyler.
Yvonne: [looking confusedly at Jackie] Then she is?
Jackie: I'm her mother.
Yvonne: [laughing] You travel with her mother?
Jackie: I was kidnapped!
The: Please, when you come to write my official biography, please don't say I travelled with her mother.
[Jackie looks at him accusingly]
The: Well I have a reputation to uphold.

River: Dear God, you're hard work young.
The: Young? Who are you?
Strackman Lux: Oh, for heaven's sake! Look at the pair of you! We're all going to die right here, and you're just squabbling like an old married couple.

The: You're an echo, that's all. A Time Lord is so much more. A sum of knowledge. A code. A shared history. A shared suffering.
[pause]
The: Only it's gone now. All of it. Gone forever.

Donna: Oy! And you be careful, all right?
The: Ahh, taking a big space truck with a bunch of strangers across a diamond planet called Midnight? What could possibly go wrong?

The: Rickston, Mister Copper and you, Bannakaffalatta. Look, can I just call you Banna? It's going to save a lot of time.
Bannakaffalatta: No. Bannakaffalatta.
The: All right then, Bannakaffalatta.

[after trying to explain psychic paper to Martha, and she doesn't understand]
The: I hate starting from scratch...

The: [as Sycorax Leader celebrates cutting The Doctor's hand off] You cut my hand off! And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first 15 hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this.
[spontaneously grows hand back]
Sycorax: Witchcraft?
The: Time Lord!

The: So when it comes right down to it. Why did you come here? Why did you that? Why? I'll tell you why. Because it was there. Brilliant! Excuse me, er Zac wasn't it?
Zachary: That's me.
The: Just stand there cos I'm going to hug you. Is that alright?
Zachary: Suppose so.
The: Here we go. C'mon then
[the Doctor hugs Zac]
The: Human beings. You are amazing. Hah! Thank you.
Zachary: Not at all.
The: But apart from that you're completely mad. You should pack your bags, get back in that ship and fly for your lives.

The: You're this doctor's companion, can't you help? What exactly do you do for him? Why does he need you?
Martha: Because he's lonely.
The: [Horrified] ... And that's what you want me to become?

John: I must go to them, before anyone else dies.

Ood: I think your song must end soon.
The: Meaning?
Ood: Every song must end.

The: You can't have come from before the universe. That's impossible.
The: Is that YOUR religion?
The: It's a belief.
The: You know nothing. ALL of you. So small.
[about Zack]
The: The captain, so scared of command.
[about Jefferson]
The: The soldier, haunted by the eyes of his wife.
[about Ida]
The: The scientist, still running from Daddy.
[about Danny]
The: The little boy who lied.
[about Toby]
The: The virgin.
[focuses on Rose]
The: And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child, who will die in battle so very soon...
Rose: [terrified] Doctor, what does that mean?
The: Rose, don't listen.
Rose: What does it mean?
The: You will die; and I will live.

Martha: Am I alright? I'm not going to get carted off as a slave or anything?
The: Why ever would you think that?
Martha: Well, not exactly white, in case you hadn't noticed.
The: Well, I'm not exactly human. Just walk round like you own the place, always works for me.

[as the soldiers hold them at gunpoint]
Cline: Drop your weapons!
The: [holding his arms up] We're unarmed. Look no weapons. Never any weapons, we're safe.
Carter: Look at their hands. They're clean.
Cline: Alright, process them. And fast.
[Cline keeps his weapons trained as the other two take the Doctor by force]
The: Hey! Oiyya! What's wrong with clean hands?

The: What?

Martha: That wasn't very clever, running around outside, was it?
The: Sorry?
Martha: In Chancellor Street, this morning? Came up to me and took your tie off.
The: [amazed] Really? What'd I do that for?
Martha: I don't know, you just did.
The: Not me. I was here in bed. Ask the nurses.
Martha: Well, that's weird, 'cause it looked like you. Have you got a brother?
The: No, not anymore. Just me.

The: [to Martha after being possessed] Stay away from me!

Young: Monsieur, what are you doing in my fireplace?
The: Oh, just a routine... fire check.

The: They're Krillitanes!
Rose: And is that bad?
The: Very. Think how bad things could possibly be, then add another suitcase of bad.

Anita: What about the Vashta Nerada?
The: These are their forests. I'm going to seal Charlotte inside her little world, take everybody else away. The shadows can swarm to their hearts' content.
Anita: So you think they're just going to let us go?
The: Best offer they're going to get.
Anita: You're going to make them an offer?
The: They'd better take it, because right now I'm finding it very hard to make any kind of offer at all. You know what? I really liked Anita. She was brave, even when she was crying. And she never gave in. And you ate her.
[opens her visor to reveal a skull]
The: But I'm going to let that pass, just as long as you let them pass.
Anita: How long have you known?
The: I counted the shadows. You only have one now. She's nearly gone. Be kind.
Anita: These are our forests. We are not kind.
The: I'm giving you back your forests. But you are giving me them. You are letting them go.
Anita: These are our forests. They are our meat.
[shadows begin to emerge from Anita's corpse and stretch towards the Doctor]
The: Don't play games with me. You just killed someone I liked. That is not a safe place to stand. I'm the Doctor, and you're standing in the biggest library in the universe. Look me up.
[shadows pause, then withdraw]
Anita: You have one day.

Mr. Copper: But if the planet's waking up, can't we signal them? They could send up a rocket or something.
The: They don't have spaceships.
Mr. Copper: No, I've read about it. They have shuffles. Space shuffles.
The: Mr. Copper, this degree in Earthonomics, where is it from?
Mr. Copper: Honestly?
The: Just between us.
Mr. Copper: Mrs. Golightly's Happy Travelling University and Dry Cleaners.

The: I remember the days when the Doctor, oh, that famous Doctor... was waging a Time War, battling Sea Devils, and Axons, he sealed the Rift at the Medusa Cascade, single handed. And look at him now, stealing screwdrivers... How did he ever come to this? Oh yes! Me!
The: I just... need you to listen.
The: No, it's my turn. Revenge. Best served hot.

[knock, door opens]
Crabtree: Found another one, sir.
Bishop: Oh, good man, Crabtree.
[the Doctor looks up, sees Crabtree with a blanket-covered person in a familiar pink skirt and pink heels]
Bishop: Here we are, Doctor. Take a good look. See what you can deduce.
[Crabtree removes the blanket. Blond hair, pink hairband-]
The: Rose.
Bishop: You know her?
The: Know her? She...
[It is quite definitely Rose Tyler. Same hairstyle,: from her brow to her chin they are all smoothed away, with only the vaguest shadows on the skin to suggest what used to be there. She seems completely unaware of everything, like she's asleep on her feet. She'd be staring out at nothing if she still had eyes. As the Doctor takes this in, he barely hears what the detectives say]
Crabtree: [distantly] They found her in the street, apparently, over at Leicester Square, abandoned.
Bishop: [distantly] That's unusual, that's the first one out in the open. Heaven help us if something happens in public tomorrow for the big day. We'll have Torchwood on our backs then, make no mistake.

The: You've got to! Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons! Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else... REGENERATE!
The: Heh... how about that? I win.

The: Question is, what did camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know... what's your job?
Donna: I'm a secretary.
The: [scanning Donna with his sonic screwdriver] Weird. I mean, you're not special. You're not powerful. You're not connected. You're not clever. You're not important.
Donna: This friend of yours, just before she left, did she punch you in the face?
[slapping the sonic screwdriver out of the way]
Donna: Stop bleeping me!

The: Now, the rest of you, helmets back on and sealed up. We'll need everything we've got.
Donna: But Doctor, we haven't got any helmets.
The: Yeah, but we're safe anyway.
Donna: How are we safe?
The: We're not. That was a clever line to shut you up.

The: Must be a spatio-temporal hyperlink.
Mickey: What's that?
The: No idea, I just made it up. Didn't want to say "Magic Door"

The: [as the aging affect reverses] One thing you can't do, stop them thinking!

The: Just think. When you get back, you could tell everyone that you've seen Shakespeare.
Martha: Yeah! And then I could get sectioned!

The: ...The Master, He just showed up again, the same as ever
The: Oh no. Really? Does he still have that rubbish beard?
The: No, no beard this time. Well, a wife...

The: [the Doctor arrives back on the ship to find himself alone] Rose?... Mickey? Every time - every time! It's rule one: don't wander off! I tell them I do, rule one! There could be anything on this ship!
[he turns a corner and comes face-to-face with a horse]

Donna: But I still don't understand, I'm full of particles, but what for?
The: There was a Racnoss web at the center of the Earth, but my people unraveled their power source. Because Huon particles ceased to exist and the Racnoss were stuck, so they just stayed in hibernation for BILLIONS of years, frozen, dead, caput! So you're the new key, brand new particles, living particles, and they need you to open it. And you have never *been* so quiet!
[turns]
Donna: [is gone]
The: [upset] OH!

The: K9!

The: Good, so, um... tell me - 'cause I'm an idiot - where are we from?
Robot: Information: the Titanic is en route from the planet Sto in the Cassavalian Belt. The purpose of the cruise is to experience primitive cultures.
The: Titanic. Um... who... thought of the name?
Robot: Information: it was chosen as the most famous vessel of the planet Earth.
The: Did they tell you why it was famous?

The: Isn't anyone going to ask me what's with the glasses?

The: Oh, you are beautiful! No really, you are, you're gorgeous! Space-age clockwork, I love it, I've got chills! Listen, I mean this from the heart- and by the way, count those- it would be a crime, it would be an act of vandalism to disassemble you. But that won't stop me.

[Davros has described how Dalek Caan travelled into the Time War and rescued him. A feat that was supposedly impossible and cost Caan his mind]
Davros: Imagine, a single, simple Dalek succeeding where Emperors and Time Lords had failed. A testament, don't you think, to my remarkable creations.
The: And you built a new race of Daleks?
Davros: I gave myself to them. Quite literally.
[he opens his shirt to reveal his badly mutilated chest; almost all of his skin is missing, strings of flesh hang his ribs and his heart is visible]
Davros: Each of them grown from a cell of my own body. New Daleks. True Daleks. I have my children Doctor. What do you have now?

Donna: Who are you?
The: I'm the Doctor. You?
Donna: Donna.
The: Human?
Donna: Yeah. Is that optional?
The: Well, it is for me.

William: 'Close up this din of hateful dire decay / Decomposition of your witches' plot! / You thieve my brains, consider me your toy / My doting doctor tells me I am not!'
Lilith: No! Words of power!
William: 'Foul Carrionite specters, cease your show / Between the points... '
[he looks to The Doctor for help]
The: 761390!
William: '761390! / Banished like a tinker's cuss / I say to thee... '
[he again looks to The Doctor]
The: Uh...
[he looks to Martha]
Martha: Expelliarmus!
The: Expelliarmus!
William: 'Expelliarmus!'
The: Good old JK!

[the Doctor grabs the ginger beer from the shelf, drinks some of it, and pours the rest over his head]
Agatha: I'm an expert in poisons! Doctor! There's no cure! It's fatal!
[the Doctor spits out the ginger beer]
The: Not for me! I can stimulate the inhibited enzymes into reversal! Protein! I need protein!
[the Doctor breathes heavily while Donna runs to the counter]
Donna: Walnuts!
The: Brilliant!
[the Doctor upends the walnut jar and chews furiously]

Captain: Doctor.
The: Captain.
Captain: Good to see you.
The: And you. Same as ever. Although, have you had work done?
Captain: You can talk!
The: [looks confused for a second] Oh yes, the face. Regeneration. How did you know this was me?
Captain: The police box kinda gives it away.

The: [to Donna] Good Luck and just be magnificent.

The: [sadly, after K9 has offered to sacrifice himself] You good dog.
K9: [wags his tail] Affirmative!

The: If that thing had said it was from *beyond* the universe, I'd have believed it. But before? Impossible.

The: Oh, all right it was worth a try. That's... that's Rose Tyler.
Rose: Sorry. Hello.
Yvonne: But if that's Rose Tyler, who is she?
Jackie: I'm her mother.
Yvonne: [addressing Doctor] Oh, you travel with her mother?
Jackie: He kidnapped me!
The: [to Yvonne] Please, when Torchwood comes to write my complete history... Don't tell people I traveled through time and space with her mother.
Jackie: [scoffs] Charming.
The: I've got a reputation to uphold!

Mr. Copper: So Great Britain is part of Europe, and just across the British channel you've got Great France and Great Germany?
The: It's just France and Germany. Only Britain is Great.

Cyber: You are proof.
The: Of what?
Cyber: That emotions destroy you.

Martha: Do you have to pass a test to fly this thing?
The: Yes, and I failed it.

Donna: [after the Doctor pulls her in] I was right, it's always like for you!
The: Oh yes! And off we go!
[both smiling, run out of the room]
Penny: [struggling in the chair] Oi!
The: [poking his head in the doorway] Sorry.
[uses his screwdriver to break her ropes; disappears from sight as she tries to get them off]
The: [pokes his head in again] Oh, and do yourself a favor; get out.

Rose: Doctor, they've got guns.
The: And I haven't, which makes me the better person, don't you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine.

Rose: [hugs Ricky] Oh my god, look at you! I thought I'd never see you again!
Ricky: Yeah, no offense but who the hell are you?
Mickey: Rose! That's not me. That's like, the other one.
The: Oh, as if things weren't bad enough, there's two Mickeys!

The: [jumps up] Ah! I'm thick! Look at me, I'm old and thick! Head's too full of stuff! I need a bigger head!

Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The: Mickey, what's Pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!

The: Why aren't they stopping?
Donna: They think I'm in a fancy dress.
[a cab drives by and the driver says, 'Get off the sauce, darling!']
Donna: They think I'm drunk.
[a car drives by in the other way and both occupants yell, 'You're fooling no one, mate!']
Donna: They think I'm in drag!
The: Hold on, hold on.
[He whistles and successfully hails a cab]

The: Lost them. How could they get away from us?
Rose: I'm surprised they didn't turn back and arrest you for reckless driving. Have you actually passed your test?
The: Men in black? Vanishing police cars? This is Churchill's England, not Stalin's Russia!

Cyberman: You will be deleted
The: But we surrender!

Donna: How about you, are you alright?
The: Oh, I'm always all right.
Donna: Is "All right" special time-lord code for... not really all right at all?
The: Why?
Donna: Because I'm alright too.

The: I just thought, since you saved my life and I've got a brand new sonic screwdriver that needs road-testing, you might fancy a trip.
Martha: What, into space?
The: Well.
Martha: But I can't. I've got exams. I've got things to do. I've got to go into town first thing to pay the rent, I've got my family going mad...
The: If it helps, I can travel in time as well.
Martha: Get out of here.
The: I can.
Martha: Come on, now. That's going too far.
The: I can prove it.
[the Doctor steps into the TARDIS and closes the door. Martha watches amazed as it dematerializes]

The: [finds Lilith floating outside the window] Well that's just cheating.
Lilith: Behold, Doctor. Men to Carrionites are nothing but
[whips out a doll]
Lilith: puppets.
The: Now you might call that magic, but I call that a DNA replication module.
Lilith: What use is your science now?
[stabs the doll]
The: Aah!
[collapses while Lilith flies off laughing]

Cassandra: [unaware Cassandra is inhabiting Rose's body; the Doctor questioned the nurses' secrecy on their miracle medicine] I can't Adam and Eve it.
The: What... What's with the voice?
Cassandra: Oh, I don't know, just larking about. New Earth. New me.
The: Well, I can talk. New new Doctor.
[smiles]
Cassandra: Mmm, aren't you just?
[kisses The Doctor plafully; breathing somewhat heavily]
Cassandra: T-ter-terminal's this way.
[walks away, fanning her face as if warm]
The: [looks at her, disoriented; finally, in squeaky voice] Yep. Still got it.

Donna: [being told to jump from the taxi into the Tardis] I'm in my wedding dress!
The: Yes! You look lovely! Come on!

The: I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am 903 years old and I'm the man who's gonna save your lives, and all six billion people on the planet below. You got a problem with that?

Martha: [about Jack] It's a bit odd though, not very hundred trillion. That coat looks more like World War two.
The: I think he came with us.
Martha: How d'you mean? From Earth?
The: Must have been clinging to the outside of the TARDIS. All the way through the Vortex. Well, that's very him.
Martha: What, do you know him?
The: Friend of mine. Used to travel with me. Back in the old days.
Martha: But he's... I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat. There's nothing. He's dead.
[Jack suddenly wakes up gasping loudly, which causes Martha to scream; Jack grabs onto her as he tries to recover]
Martha: Oh, so much for me.

John: How can you think I'm not real? When I kissed you, was that a lie?
Joan: No, it wasn't, no
John: But this 'Doctor' sounds like some, some romantic lost prince. Would you rather that? Am I not enough?
Joan: No, that's not true, never.
John: I've got to go.
Joan: Martha was right about one thing though; those boys, they're children. John Smith wouldn't want them to fight, never mind the Doctor. The John Smith I was getting to know... he knows it's wrong, doesn't he?
John: What choice do I have?

Donna: [referring to a soldier] Let me distract this one. I've picked up a few womanly wiles over the years.
The: Let's... save your wiles for later.
[big pause]
The: In case of emergency.

The: Come sir! You promised us a tale of nightmares.
Queen: Indeed. Since my husband's death I find myself with more of a taste for supernatural fiction.
The: You must miss him.
Queen: Very much. Or completely. And that's the charm of a ghost story, isn't it? The scares and the chills, that's just for children but the hope of some contact with the great beyond, we all want some message from that place. It's the Creator's greatest mystery that we're allowed no such consolation. The dead stay silent and we must wait. Come! Begin your tale sir Robert. There is a chill in the air, the wind is hollowing through the eaves, tell us of monsters.

The: [about to play the organ] I hope there's a good acoustic in here.

[first lines]
Dr. Moon: Close your eyes and tell me what you see.
The: [fade in to POV of drifting outside and above] The Library.
[the Girl looks down, sees herself suspended in the air, drifting above The Library]
Dr. Moon: Open your eyes again. Where are you now.
The: [as if this is obvious] My living room, Dr. Moon.
Dr. Moon: When you close your eyes...?
The: [finishing] I go to The Library.
Dr. Moon: [we see Dad seated behind Dr. Moon's right, concerned] Go to The Library now.
[the Girl closes her eyes again, and this time she's drifting down into a large, open-topped room of The Library]
Dr. Moon: Are you back there?
The: Yes.
Dr. Moon: The same part?
The: No, it's always different. The Library goes on forever.
Dr. Moon: How do you move around?
The: [she touches down and looks up adoringly at the books on the shelves] By wishing.
[Suddenly there's frantic pounding on the door to the room. Startled, she turns around as the doors shake to the pounding they receive from outside]
Dr. Moon: [in the living room] What's wrong?
The: [eyes tightly closed, distressed] Something's here! Someone's got in! No one is supposed to get in!
Dad: She's never mentioned anyone else. She's always been alone.
The: Someone's in my library! No, no, please, it's not allowed! It's not allowed!
Dr. Moon: Listen to me: The Library is in your mind.
The: I *know* it's in my mind, but something's got inside!
The: [More pounding and shaking, then, with a mighty kick, Donna Noble and the Doctor barge in. They quickly close the door and the Doctor bars it with a book through the handles. Leaning against the door and relaxing briefly, they notice they're not alone] Oh! Hello! Sorry to burst in on you like this. Okay if we stop here for a bit?
The: [gasps and her eyes fly open]