The Best Roger Davey Quotes

Roger: You wake up, and it's disappeared overnight. Well, technically speaking, it's gone by ten past 1:00 in the morning.
The: What makes you say that?
Roger: That's when I get woken up.
[later]
Roger: It is driving me mad. Ten minutes past 1:00 every night, bang on the dot, without fail, the burglar alarm goes off. I've had experts in. I've had it replaced, I've even phoned watchdogs. But no, at ten past 1:00 in the morning, off it goes.

The: Tell me, Roger, have you got a cat flap?
[next scene, on floor looking through cat flap]
Roger: It was here when I bought the house. I never bothered with it, really. I'm not a cat person.
The: No, I've met cat people. You're nothing like them.
Roger: Is that what it is, though: cats getting inside the house?
The: Well, thing about cat flaps is, they don't just let things in; they let things out as well.
Roger: Like what?
The: "The fat just walks away."