50 Best The Master Quotes

The: I landed here. I had trouble taking off.
Missy: The black hole?
The: Too close to the event horizon.
Missy: And you screwed up. You went too fast.
The: I blew the dematerialization circuit.
Missy: Which reminds me, a funny thing happened to me once.
The: What?
Missy: [throws the Master against the wall] A very long time ago, a very scary lady threw me against a wall and made me promise to always, ALWAYS carry a spare dematerialization circuit. I don't remember much about her now, but... she must have made quite an impression.
[produces a spare dematerialization circuit]
The: You know, you basically have me to thank for this.
Missy: You're welcome.
The: By the way, is it wrong that I...
[glances down toward his crotch]
Missy: [taking a step away] Yes. Very.

Vivien: Mister Saxon, I was just having a little joke with poor little Lucy.
The: Oh, but you're absolutely right. Harold Saxon doesn't exist.
Vivien: Then tell me. Who are you?
The: I am the Master. And these...
[the Toclafane teleport beside Saxon]
The: ...are my friends.

[on the Teletubbies]
The: Television, in their stomachs. Now that, is evolution.

The: I remember the days when the Doctor, oh, that famous Doctor... was waging a Time War, battling Sea Devils, and Axons, he sealed the Rift at the Medusa Cascade, single handed. And look at him now, stealing screwdrivers... How did he ever come to this? Oh yes! Me!
The: I just... need you to listen.
The: No, it's my turn. Revenge. Best served hot.

[Martha has "Mr. Saxon" on her phone. The doctor takes it from her]
The: I'm here.
The: [the Master looks up from the speaker phone, takes his cell phone out of his pocket and turns it on] Doctor.
The: Master.
The: [smiles] I love it when you say my name.
The: You chose it. A psychiatrist's field day.
The: As you chose yours. The man who makes people better. How santimonious is that?
The: So! Prime Minister, then.
The: I know! It's good, isn't it?
The: Who are those creatures? Because they're not the Toclafane; that's just a made-up name like the bogeyman.
The: Do you remember all those made-up tales about the Toclafane when we were kids? Back home? Where IS it, Doctor?
The: [pause] Gone.
The: [standing up in disbelief] How can Gallifrey be GONE?
The: [pause] It burnt.
The: And the Time Lords?
The: Dead.
[pause]
The: And the Daleks. More or less. What happened to you?
The: The Time Lords only resurrected me because they knew I'd be the perfect warrior for a Time War. I was there when the Dalek Emperor took control of the Cruciform. I saw it. I ran. I ran so far. I made myself human so they would never find me. Because... because I was so scared.
The: I know.
The: ALL of them? But not YOU. Which must mean...
The: I was the only one who could end it. And I tried. I did. I tried everything.
The: What did it feel like, though? Two almighty civilizations, burning.
[sighs at the thought]
The: Oh, tell me, how did that feel?
The: Stop it!
The: You must have been like God.
The: I've been alone ever since. But not anymore. Don't you see? All we've got is each other!
The: Are you asking me out on a date?

The: You've got to! Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons! Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else... REGENERATE!
The: Heh... how about that? I win.

The: Jelly baby?

The: You should've seen it, Doctor. Furnaces burning. The last of humanity screaming at the dark.

The: Ever since I was a child... I looked into the Vortex and that's when it chose me. The Drumming. The Call. To War.

Razor: [to Missy] I love disguises. Do you still like disguises? Of course, they are... rather necessary when you happen to be someone's former prime minister.

The: Now it ends, Doctor. NOW it ends!

[Bill has been converted into a Cyberman]
The: Bill? Bill, talk to me. What have they done to you?
Nardole: Operation Exodus, whatever that is.
Missy: Well, wrong name, for a start. This is not an exodus, is it? More of a beginning, really, isn't it?
The: [enters] In fact, d'you know what I'd call it? I'd call it a Genesis.
Missy: You've met the ex.
The: Specifically, the Genesis of the Cybermen!

The: You can stop this right now. We can leave this planet. We can fight across the constellations if that's what you want, but not on Earth!
The: It's too late.
The: Why do you say that?
The: The drumming.
[taps out a drumbeat on the table with his fingers]
The: Can't you hear it?
[taps the beat again, continuously]
The: Inside my head. I thought it would stop. But it never does. It never, ever stops. Inside my head. The drumming, Doctor, the constant drumming.
The: I can help you. Please, let me help.
The: It's everywhere. Listen. Listen. Listen. Here come the drums... here come... the drums...
[a young man is loitering, beating out the drumbeat against his legs, just like Martha earlier, just like the beggar earlier, just like the Master... ~tum tum te tum~]
The: What have you done? Tell me, how have you done this? What are those creatures? Tell me!
The: Oooo, look! You're on TV!
The: Stop it! Answer me!
The: No, really, you're on telly! You and your little band, which by the way is ticking every demographic box, so congratulations on that. God, there you are.
[laughs]
The: You're public enemies 1, 2, and 3. Oh! And you can tell "Handsome Jack" that I've sent his little gang off on a wild goose chase to the Himalayas, so you won't be getting any help from them.
[the Doctor turns to look at Martha and Jack]
The: Go on, off you go, why not start out by turning to the...
[the Doctor turns to the right]
The: RIGHT!
The: [looks up and sees a CCTV camera] He can see us!
[He raises his sonic screwdriver and shorts out the CCTV]
The: Oh! You public menace! Better start running. Go on... run!
The: [closes the phone] He's got control of everything.
Martha: What do we do?
Captain: We've got nowhere to go.
Martha: Doctor, what do we do?
The: Run, Doctor! Run for your life!
The: We run.
[the Doctor, Martha, and Jack all run]
The: [screaming into the phone] I SAID... RUN!

The: [to the Doctor] See this face. Take a good, long look at it. This is the face that didn't listen to a word you just said.
[grins, then leaves]

The: Now, then, Doctor! Oooh, new voice. Hello, hellooo, helllloooo! Anyway... why don't we sit down and have a nice little chat where I can tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!
The: Please... please, I'm asking real properly, just stop! Just think!
The: Use my name.
The: Master... I'm sorry.
The: Tough!

The: We meet at last, Doctor!
[he laughs]
The: I love saying that!

The: Is the future going to be all girl?
Twelfth: Well can only hope.

Female: People of the Earth, we come in peace. We bring great gifts. We bring technology and wisdom and protection and all we ask in return is your friendship.
The: Oh, sweet. And this species has identified itself. They're called the Toclafane.
The: What?
The: And tomorrow morning, they will appear. Not in secret, but to all of you. Diplomatic relations with a new species will begin. Tomorrow, we take our place in the universe.

[the Master uses a weapon on Jack]
The: Laser Screwdriver. Who'd have sonic? And the best part is he isn't dead for long, I get to kill him again!

The: Didn't you learn anything from the blessed Saint Martha? Siding with the Doctor... is a very dangerous thing to do.

The: My people, salutations on this, the eve of war. Lovely woman.

[on the Paradox machine]
The: My masterpiece, Doctor. A living TARDIS, strong enough to hold the paradox in place, allowing the past and the future to collide in infinite majesty.
The: But you're changing history. Not just Earth, the entire universe.
The: I'm a Time Lord. I have that right.
The: But even then... why come all this way just to destroy?
Toclafane: We come backwards in time, all to build a brand new empire lasting one hundred trillion years.
The: With me as their master. Time Lord and humans combined. Haven't you always dreamt of that, Doctor?

[repeated line to the Doctor when showing off his evil works]
The: It's good, isn't it?

The: Tomorrow they launch. We're opening up a rift in the Bracatolian Space. Won't see us coming. Be kind of scary.
The: Then stop.
The: Once the Empire is established and there's a new Gallifrey in the heavens, maybe then it stops. The drumming. The never-ending drumbeat.

Lucy: You promised, you said Archangel was one hundred percent.
The: Oh... ninety nine, ninety eight?

The: Professor Lazarus, remember him? And his genetic manipulation devise. What, did you think that little Tish got that job merely by coincidence? I've been laying traps for you all this time. And if I can concentrate all that Lazarus technology into one little screwdriver... But ohh, if only I had the Doctor's biological code. Oh, wait a minute, I do! I've got his hand! And if Lazarus made himself younger, what if I reverse it? Another... hundred years?

The: Hello, Missy. I'm the Master. I'm very worried about my future. Give us a kiss.

The: Before we start all that, I just wanted to say: thank you. Thank you, one and all, you ugly, fat-faced bunch of wet, snivelling traitors!

The: It's ready to rise, Doctor. The new Time Lord empire, it's good isn't it? Isn't it good? Anything?
[the Doctor stares blankly at the Toclafane]
The: No? Anything? Oh, but they broke your hearts, didn't they? Those Toclafane... Ever since you worked out what they really are.

The: No. No. That wasn't funny. You see, I'm not making myself very clear. Funny is like this.
[he grins]
The: Not funny is like this.
[he frowns]
The: And right now, I'm not like
[grins]
The: I'm like
[frowns]
The: because you are traitors. Yes, YOU are! As soon as you saw the votes swinging MY way, you abandoned your parties and jumped on the Saxon bandwagon!

Missy: [embraces the Master] I loved being you. Every second of it. Oh, the way you burned like a sun, like a whole screaming world on fire. I remember that feeling, and I always will... and I will always miss it.
The: [staggering back slightly] Now that... was really... very nicely done.
Missy: Thank you.
[the Master sees a stab wound, Missy holds up a knife]
The: It's good to know I haven't lost my touch.
Missy: You deserve my best.
The: How long do I have?
Missy: Oh, I was precise. You'll be able to make it back to your TARDIS, maybe even get a cuppa. Although, you might leak a little.
The: And then, rengenerate... into you.
Missy: Welcome to the Sisterhood.
The: Missy, seriously... why?
Missy: Oh... because he's right. Because it's time to stand with him. It's where we've always been going, and it's happening, now, today. It's time to stand with the Doctor.
The: No. Never. MISSY! I will never stand with the Doctor!
Missy: Oh, yes, my dear, you will.

The: Dying in your arms... happy now?
The: You're not dying, don't be stupid. It's only a bullet, just regenerate.
The: No.
The: One little bullet, come on.
The: I guess you don't know me so well... I refuse.
The: [desperate] Regenerate. Just regenerate! Please, please! Just regenerate, come on!
The: And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?

The: The Toclafane... what are they?
[the Master bends closer and mimes that he can't hear him]
The: Who are they?
The: Doctor, if I told you the truth, your hearts would break.

The: If I can't have this world, Doctor, then neither can you! We shall stand upon this Earth, together, as it burns!

The: Here come the drums!

[Lucy shoots the master]
The: It's always the women.

The: So America is completely in charge?
President: Since Britain elected an ass, yes!

The: A glorious day. Downing Street rebuilt. The cabinet in session. Let the work of government begin.
[throws dossiers into the air]

The: Sorry. Sorry, I have this effect, people just get obsessed. Is it the smile? Is it the aftershave? Is it the capacity to laugh at myself? I don't know; it's crazy!

Razor: You want the good tea or the bad tea?
Bill: What's the difference?
Razor: I call one "good", one "bad".
Bill: Uh, I'll take the good one.
Razor: Excellent, positive attitude. Will help with the horror to come.
Bill: What horror?
Razor: Mainly the tea.

President: Saxon, what in God's name are you doing?
The: I'm taking control, Uncle Sam. Starting with you.
[to the Toclafane]
The: Kill him!
[the Toclafane vaporise Winters]
The: Now then, citizens of the Earth; please attend carefully!

[about Jack and Martha]
The: Oh, look. It's the girlie and the freak! Although I'm not sure which is which.

The: Doctor. Right! While you've been here chatting up Robo-Mop, me and... me have been busy. We've found it.
The: [to Bill, in "Razor's" voice] "Oh, hello, my dear. My God, you were so boring for all those years." But it was worth every day of it. For this.
Twelfth: Bill, don't let him upset you.
The: Though, didn't you used to be a woman? I'm gonna be a woman, fairly soon. Any tips? Or maybe... I don't know, old bras?
Bill: I am not upset.
The: [disappointed] Oh. Well, doesn't that take all the fun out of cruelty? Might as well rile a fridge. Come on, this way.

The: You still haven't answered the question. What happens to me?
The: You're my responsibility from now on. The only Time Lord left in existence.
Captain: Yeah, but you can't trust him.
The: No. The only safe place for him is the TARDIS.
The: You mean, you're just gonna... keep me?
The: If that's what I have to do. It's time to change. Maybe I've been wandering for too long. Now I've got someone to care for.

The: Tomorrow we take our place in the universe. Every man, woman and child. Every teacher and chemist and lorry driver and farmer. I dunno, every medical student?
[the Doctor, Martha and Jack look shocked. The doctor looks behind the TV and finds a bomb]

The: Anything I could do? I could make a tea, or is that not American enough? How about some grits? What are grits anyway?

The: Martha Jones! I can see you! Come on little girl, come and meet your master.

The: The human race. Greatest monsters of them all.

Vivien: All of it-the schooldays, his degree, even his mother and father- it's all invented. Look, Harold Saxon never went to Cambridge. There was no Harold Saxon. The thing is, it's obvious. The forgery is screaming out, and yet no one can see it. It's as if he's mesmerised the entire world.
Lucy: I think perhaps you should leave now.
Vivien: Eighteen months ago, he became real. This is his first honest-to-God appearance, just after the downfall of Harriet Jones and at the exact same time they launched the Archangel Network.
Lucy: Mrs. Rook, now, stop it.
Vivien: Even now they've said that the Cabinet's gone into seclusion. I mean, what does that mean, 'seclusion'?
Lucy: How should I know?
Vivien: But I've got plenty of research on you. Yes, good family, Roedean, not especially bright but essentially harmless, and that's why I'm asking you, Lucy, I am begging you, if you have seen anything, heard anything, even the slightest thing that would give you cause to doubt him...
Lucy: I think...
Vivien: Yes?
Lucy: There was a time when we first met. I wondered... but he was so good to my father and he said...
Vivien: What? Just tell me, sweetheart.
Lucy: The thing is, I made my choice.
Vivien: I'm sorry?
Lucy: For better or for worse. Isn't that right, Harry?
[Mr. Saxon appears at the doorway]
The: My faithful companion.

[last lines]
The: End of the universe, have fun! Bye bye!