50 Best John Cusack Quotes

Kate: [on the phone with Jackson] Hello?
Jackson: [in the limo en route to Kate's house] Kate, stop what you're doing.
Kate: Jackson?
Jackson: Listen to me. I've rented a plane. Pack up the kids, I'm gonna be there in five minutes.
Kate: What are you talking about? We're gonna do our regular Saturday. Noah has music at 2 and Lil has karate.
Gordon: Not gonna expect him to remember.
Jackson: Kate, California is going down! Pack up the kids now!
Kate: They just got back. God, you sound like a cray person. The Governor just said we're fine.
Jackson: The guy's an actor! He's reading a script! When they tell you not to panic...
[makes a hard left]
Jackson: that's when you run!
Kate: Look, will you call me back when you calm down?
[hangs up phone]
Lilly: Mommy, why is Daddy so crazy?
[Gordon looks at Kate]
Kate: Finish your pancakes, Al Capone.

Anastasia: Do you really think I'm royalty?
Dimitri: You know I do!
Anastasia: Then stop bossing me around!

Jackson: Going to this place really special place that I know. Actually, it's a place where your Mom and I used to hang out a lot.
Noah: I don't wanna know where you and Mom had sex. I'm not ready for that, Jackson.
Jackson: Stop calling me that. It's creeping me out. What's wrong with "Dad"?

Dr. Oatman: Don't kill anybody for a few days. See what it feels like.
Martin Q. Blank: All right, I'll give it a shot.
Dr. Oatman: No, don't give it a shot! Don't shoot anything!

Kate: Do you think people change?
Jackson: By "people," do you mean me?
Kate: Yes. Do you think you've changed since we separated?
Jackson: I certainly eat a lot more cereal now.

Vladimir: She certainly has a mind of her own.
Dimitri: Yeah. I hate that in a woman.

Rasputin: Say your prayers, Anastasia! No one can save you!
Dimitri: Wanna bet?

Marty: This your Beemer?
Paul: Yeah.
Marty: In Detroit? That's sacrilege!

Dowager: [as Dimitri recklessly drives the Dowager Empress Marie's car] Ilya, slow down.
Dimitri: I'm *not* Ilya, and I *won't* slow down, NOT until you listen.
Dowager: You... how dare you! Stop this car immediately! STOP THIS CAR!

Marcella: [Marcella dances around the office, pouring gasoline all over everything, pounding on computers with a hammer, throwing bits of equipment across the room, all the while humming cheerfully to herself. The phone rings]
Marcella: Hello?
Marty: Are we out of business yet?
Marcella: [sing-song] I am taking down the office now.

Dr. Kevin Christie: [about overpopulation] At 1.7 billion, we can be as decadent, self-indulgent, and shitty as we want. At ten billion, we have to live strategically. We have to live modestly. We have to live selflessly. As as you know, we're not that good at it.

Mr. Grocer: [Marty and Grocer are shooting eachother] Comrade! Comrade!
Marty: What?
Mr. Grocer: Why don't you just join the union, we'll go upstairs together and cap daddy!
Marty: This union, there's gonna be meetings?
Mr. Grocer: Of course!
Marty: No meetings.
[They continue shooting]

[Anya and Dimitri have been arguing on the train - Vlad enters the compartment]
Anastasia: Oh, thank goodness it's you!
[points to Dimitri]
Anastasia: Will you please remove him from my sight?
Vladimir: [to Dimitri] What have you done to her?
Dimitri: Me? It's *her*!
Anastasia: HA!
[leaves]
Vladimir: Oh! An unspoken attraction!
Dimitri: *Attraction*? To that skinny little brat? Have you lost your mind?
Vladimir: I was only asking a simple question...
Dimitri: Attraction... ridiculous!

Arlene: [about the nametags she's made for the reunion] I had the yearbook pictures put on so everybody knows who everybody was!
Martin Q. Blank: A special torture!

[Talking to his psychiatrist about going to his high school reunion]
Marty: They all have husbands and wives and children and houses and dogs, and, you know, they've all made themselves a part of something and they can talk about what they do. What am I gonna say? "I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork. How've you been?"

Marty: [after shooting a guy three times and bashing his head in with a skillet] Debi, I'm in love with you! And I know we can make this relationship work.

Charlie: You'd have to keep a thing like this underwraps. I mean, just think about it, okay? First, the stock market would go. Then the economy, boom! The dollar, boom! And then pandemonium in the streets. War, genocide, ba-ba-ba-ba, boom, boom, boom!
Jackson: Bullshit. Nobody could keep that big a secret, Charlie. Somebody would blow the whistle.
Charlie: And every once in a while, some poor little sucker tries. Well, like these guys, boom, boom!
[pulls down a screen of posted obituaries]
Charlie: Every one of these guys, dead, dead, dead.
Jackson: [notices one of them] Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's Professor Meyers.
Charlie: He ran the Atlantis shuttle program. Why, did you know him?
Jackson: Yeah, he helped me with research on my book.
Charlie: Well, that must have been before this "accident."
Jackson: Meyers is dead?
Charlie: Oh, two months ago. He was one of my most avid listeners and he had it all figured out. Everything the government was doing, where and why... He even sent me a map.
Jackson: A map for what Charlie? What's the map for?
Charlie: They're building spaceships, man.
Jackson: Shit, man, I have to go because I gotta get back to Earth.

Lilly: [inside Charlie's camper] That guy's crazy. Right, daddy?
Jackson: No. I don't think so.

Marty: A thousand innocent people get killed every day! But a millionaire's pet gets detonated, and you're marked for life.

Mr. Grocer: [Martin and Grocer have just killed Agents Lardner and McCullers] Workers of the world, UNITE!
[point their empty guns at each other]
Mr. Grocer: Look at that: Empty!
Mr. Grocer: [Grocer pulls a fresh pistol as he hears Martin releasing the slide on his empty pistol] Solidarity baby! You out?
Marty: Yeah.
Mr. Grocer: So, what are you gonna do? You gonna THROW that gun at me?
Marty: No.
Mr. Grocer: How 'bout this? How 'bout I sell you a piece for a hundred Gs?
Marty: OK! Front me?
[grabs TV]
Mr. Grocer: Deal!
[throws the gun out, waiting to off Martin]
Marty: Popcorn!
[slams TV on Grocer's head, killing him]

Debi: You know what you need?
Marty: What?
Debi: Shakabuku.
Marty: You wanna tell me what that means?
Debi: It's a swift, spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever.
Marty: Oh, that'd be good. I think.

Kate: [on the "ark"] Where have you been all my life?
Jackson: Gift shop.

[Dimitri and Anya are waltzing]
Dimitri: That, uh, that dress looks really good on you.
Anastasia: Do you think so?
Dimitri: Yeah. I mean, it looked nice on the hanger but it's even better on you. Y-you, you should wear it!
Anastasia: I *am* wearing it!
Dimitri: Oh, oh yes, I was just, um, trying to give you a... a...
Anastasia: Complement?
Dimitri: Yeah.
Vladimir: [singing] It's one, two, three/ And suddenly/ I see it at a glance/ She's radiant/ And confidant/ And born to take this chance/ I taught her well/ I planned it all/ I just forgot/ Romance/ Vlad, how could you do this?/ How will we get through this?/ I never should have let them/ Dance!
Anastasia: I feel a little... dizzy.
Dimitri: Kind of... light-headed?
Anastasia: Yeah...
Dimitri: Me too. Probably from all the spinning.
[they stop dancing]
Dimitri: Maybe we should stop.
Anastasia: [quietly] We *have* stopped.
Dimitri: Anya, I...
Anastasia: Yes?
[they lean in...]

Kate: So, now that you have your map, where are we going?
[Jackson holds a one-finger signal before unfolding the map with the ships to discover that it is located in "China"]
Jackson: We're going to need a bigger plane.
[looks back at the map]

Paul: I've got to get something off my chest. Have you been home to see the old house?
Martin Q. Blank: Yeah. Torn down in the name of convenience.
Paul: Yeah, I brokered the deal
Martin Q. Blank: Oh, wow. Wow.
Paul: I tried to get a family there, but Ultimart made the best offer.
Martin Q. Blank: Well, thank you for profiting on my childhood.

Debi: [about the man Martin killed at the reunion] He was trying to kill you, right?
Marty: Yes.
Debi: It wasn't the other way around?
Marty: No.
Debi: Is it something you've done?
Marty: It's something I do... professionally, for about five years now.
[He lifts the gun in his hand]
Debi: [Gasps] You were joking! People joke about the horrible things they *don't* do, they don't *do* them! It's absurd!
Marty: When I left, I joined the Army, and when I took the service exam, my psych profile fit a certain... "moral flexibility" would be the only way to describe it. I was loaned out to a CIA-sponsored program and we sort of found each other. That's the way it works.
Debi: So, you're a government spook?
Marty: Yes, I mean no. I was before but I'm not now... but that' all irrelevant, really. The idea of government, nations is public relations theory at this point.
Debi: Don't. I don't wanna hear about the theories. I wanna hear about the dead people. Explain the dead people.

Marcella: Sir, I'm really beginning to worry about your safety.
Marty: Look, I got to go.
Marcella: Yeah, we all got to go sometime, sir, but we can choose when.
Marty: No one chooses when.

Jackson: [as Kate's house is collapsing in an earthquake] Get in the fucking car!

Marty: Why are you so interested in me going to my high school reunion?
Marcella: I just find it amusing that you came from somewhere.

Sasha: Boss, I found us a plane.
Yuri: Can you still fly that thing?
Sasha: Sure, boss. But I need co-pilot.
Lilly: Gordon's a pilot.
Gordon: No, I'm not. I'm not.
Jackson: Yes, he is. Great pilot. Let's go.
Yuri: Good. Let's go!
[both groups set out for the plane]
Gordon: [just before going outdoors] Jackson, stop saying I'm a pilot.

Anastasia: What? Hey - why are you circling me? What, were you a vulture in another life?
Dimitri: I'm sorry, Enya.
Anastasia: It's Anya.
Dimitri: Anya.
Anastasia: [enunciating] An-ya.
Dimitri: It's just that - you look an awful lot like... never mind.

Ken: I do divorce mainly, some property, some personal injury.
Marty: They all seem kinda related.

Mr. Newberry: What have you been doing with your life?
Marty: Uh... professional killer.
Mr. Newberry: Oh! Good for you, it's a... growth industry.

Lilly: I'm not scared. No more Pull-Ups.
Jackson: Nice.

[the overheated train engine and the baggage car have been separated from the rest of the train]
Dimitri: What was that?
Vladimir: I don't know, but there goes the dining car.

Marcella: You can take care of business and stop by Grosse Pointe for your reunion...
Marty: Look, Sergeant Pepper, I really need you to shut up about that.
Marcella: Sir, it's out of my hands. The gods want you to go back home and they want you to delete someone while you're there.

Marcella: Don't hang up! Wait! Did ya' read yesterday's offer?
Marty: Hold on a minute.
Marcella: It's in French. It's a Greenpeace boat. It'd be so easy.
Marty: No way! I have scruples.

Marcella: Sir, they're very unhappy.
Martin Q. Blank: I'm very unhappy.
Marcella: It was supposed to look like a heart attack! He was supposed to die in his sleep!
Martin Q. Blank: Well, he moved.

Debi: You're a psychopath.
Marty: No, no. Psychopaths kill for no reason. I kill for *money*. It's a *job*. That didn't come out right.

Martin Q. Blank: [Leaving a message on Dr. Oatman's machine] Dr. Oatman, please pick up, pick up! It's Martin Blank! I, I'm standing where my, uh, living room was and it's not here because my house is gone and it's an Ultimart! You can never go home again, Oatman... but I guess you can shop there.

Anastasia: [after overhearing Dimitri's conversation with Marie and learning his plans] That was all a lie, wasn't it?
Dimitri: No, no...
Anastasia: You used me? I was just part of your con to get her money?
Dimitri: No. No, no, no. Look, it may have started out that way, but everything's different now, because you really are Anastasia. You are!
Anastasia: Now stop it! From the very beginning, you *lied*! And I not only believed you, I actually...
[grunts in disbelief]
Dimitri: Anya, please! When you spoke of the hidden door in the wall opening, and the little boy, listen to me, that was...
Anastasia: No! I don't want to hear about anything that I said I remembered; you just leave me alone!
[Dimitri grabs Anya's arm, she slaps him and storms away]
Dimitri: [yelling in protest] Anya, please, you have to know the truth!

Charlie: Hey. Hey, guess what? They're selling seats.
Jackson: Put me down for three.
Charlie: No, guys like you and me don't have a chance. You'd have to be Bill Gates or Rupert Murdoch or some Russian billionaire or something.
Jackson: Hey, keep it down. My kids are sleeping.
Charlie: Get them out of Yellowstone. It's gonna get ugly up here.

Anastasia: [seeing something crash behind a speeding train after she just pulled Dimitri back inside] And to think that could have been you.
Dimitri: If we live through this, remind me to thank you.

Debi: You're a fucking *psycho*.
Marty: Don't rush to judgment on something like that until all the facts are in.

Dowager: Young man, where did you get that music box? You were the boy, weren't you? The servant boy who got us out? You saved her life and mine and you restored her to me. Yet you want no reward.
Dimitri: Not anymore.
Dowager: Why the change of mind?
Dimitri: It was more a change of heart.

Martin Q. Blank: You must've done some *naughty* shit there, Bart.
[flips dossier over to him]
Martin Q. Blank: There's a contract out on your life. Believe me. I was hired to kill you, but I'm not going to do it. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or because I have a newfound respect for life.
Mr. Grocer: [following in van] That punk is either in love with that guy's daughter or he has a newfound respect for life.
Mr. Newberry: [after reading dossier] My whole life!
Martin Q. Blank: Hopefully not.

Martin Q. Blank: Don't you think that maybe you're just upset because I told you what I do for a living, and you got upset and *you're* letting it interfere with *our* dynamic?
Dr. Oatman: Whoa. Martin. You didn't tell me what you did for a living...
Martin Q. Blank: Yes, I did!
Dr. Oatman: You didn't tell me what you did for a living for *four* sessions. *Then* you told me. And I said, "I don't want to work with you any more." And yet, you come back each week at the same time. That's a difficulty for me. On top of that, if you've committed a crime or you're thinking about committing a crime, I have to tell the authorities.
Martin Q. Blank: I know the law, okay? But I don't want to be withholding; I'm very serious about this process.
[pause]
Martin Q. Blank: And I know where you live.
Dr. Oatman: Oh, now see? That wasn't a nice thing to say; that wasn't designed to make me feel good. That's a... kind of a... not too subtle intimidation, and I, uh, get filled with anxiety when you talk about something like that.
Martin Q. Blank: Come on, come on. I was just kidding, all right? The thought never crossed my mind.
Dr. Oatman: You did think of it, Martin! You thought it, and then you said it. And now, I'm left with the aftermath of that, thinking I gotta be creative in a really interesting way or Martin's gonna blow my brains out! You're holding me hostage. That's not right.

Debi: So, is there a Mrs. Mysterio?
Martin Q. Blank: No, but I do have a very nice cat?
Debi: Not the same.
Martin Q. Blank: Well, you don't know my cat, it's very demanding.
Debi: "It"? You don't know if it's a boy or girl?
Martin Q. Blank: I respect its privacy.

Dimitri: I don't want your money.
Dowager: What do you want then?
Dimitri: Unfortunately, nothing you can give.

Jackson: We gotta get to the Santa Monica Airport!
Gordon: Well, take the freeway! It'll be half the time!
Jackson: [as the freeway collapses from the earthquake] Yeah, right!