20 Best Robin Turner Quotes

Robin: I just don't understand, you know? Why Justin? What did he do? I can tell you what he didn't do. He didn't blow someone's brains out with a hunting rifle.
Sarah: Well... well, something must have put him on the Executioner's radar. You-you can't think of anything?
[as he thinks, something clicks]
Sarah: Robin?
Robin: Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Before we built our house, there was a family that lived on that land, in some... nasty little shack that had no right being there. Justin bought the land and... bulldozed everything. I guess the family wound up squatting in some abandoned old house over on McCaul Street. The house didn't have any heating or electricity, so they used this propane heater as a makeshift furnace. They suffocated. It's not like Justin put a gun to their head. He didn't... he just bought their land. That's it, you know? He didn't deserve to die because of that.
Sarah: No. No, of course not.

Sarah: You know, if Trent was the Executioner, that would make sense.
Robin: Ugh. That boy was seriously disturbed. Norman Bates meets the Unabomber.

Sarah: Okay, no. You can't look at me like that. You're gonna make me cry, and I hate crying.
Robin: [holding his arms out, she moves to hug him] Careful.
Sarah: Okay, sorry.
Robin: You stay out of trouble, okay? Don't move into any cursed homes, and don't befriend anyone with the last name Henry, Dahmer, or Bundy.
Sarah: Deal. I'm gonna miss you, Robin.
Robin: No, you're not. I'm gonna be crashing on your couch every other weekend.
Sarah: Right.
Robin: You take care of her.
Dylan: Don't worry about that. You just worry about selling this house.

Trent: Your husband sent me a check and it bounced.
Robin: Fine. Fine, I'll just... I'll, um... I'll write you another one. Or can I... can I just give you cash?
Trent: Robin, it's for a quarter-million dollars. It's the down payment for my hunting lodge.
[seeing he's surprised]
Trent: Oh, he never told you.
[laughing]
Trent: Jesus.
Robin: Justin makes... Justin made all the business decisions. You wanna cut me some slack here?
Trent: I'll tell you what. You talk to your banker, your lawyer, you get me another check. One that doesn't bounce. Tomorrow.

Robin: Sarah, my nose is... really itchy.
Sarah: [sketching him] Don't move.
Robin: Ugh... it's like I have poison ivy and crabs duking it out on my left nostril. Can I just...
Sarah: No! If you don't stop moving, I'm gonna make you look like a Picasso.

Robin: What if Alan catches us here?
Sarah: I don't know, we'll tell him we're praying for loved ones or lighting a candle. Whatever these people do here. You know, stop worrying.
Robin: Me? Stop worrying? I had an ulcer by the time I was ten years old.

Sarah: Robin, can I ask you a nosy question?
Robin: Shoot.
Sarah: How much are you asking for Verna McBride's place?
Robin: Way too much. Linoleum countertops, potential. Knob and tube wiring, challenging. Leaky basement, throw enough money at it, you can fix it. But a house with a past? No amount of paint or potpourri can mask that a woman was drawn and quartered in the master.
[holding up a small, framed painting]
Robin: I like this! Is it expensive? Sorry. I don't always think before I speak. The market dictates is what I'm trying to say, so that house will...
Sarah: Not sell in about a hundred years, yeah.
Robin: Yeah. My advice? Sit on your place, at least for the time being. Just let all of this blow over.

Robin: What is that?
Sarah: I think it's a murder kit.

Sarah: Say it was Alan Henry. I mean, why would he go around killing people? His son's a cop; he doesn't even have to call 911.
Robin: Have you ever read the Old Testament? That is one angry father, commanding his followers to spill oceans of non-believer blood. Trust me, Sunday school was dark, scary shit.

Robin: [watching Dylan on TV] He's a natural.
Sarah: Yeah. Sure is.

Robin: Eating for one is one of the loneliest ways to eat, so how about we harden our arteries? My treat.
Sarah: Yeah, yeah, I'd love to, but... Dylan and I are having a talk.
Robin: Uh-oh. More trouble in paradise?
Sarah: No paradise. Just trouble.

Sarah: June, what are you doing?
June: [stripping down to her underwear] Going for a swim. You should come.
Robin: I forgot my Speedo at home, babe.
June: [taking off her bra] You don't need a bathing suit.
Sarah: OHH! No, no... . oh, wow.
June: [getting into the water] Come on, Robin. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before. Remember? Pam Simon's pool? We all went skinny dipping.
Sarah: Okay, you keep an eye on her.
June: You hooked up with Andrew in her parents' hot tub.
Robin: Yeah, she'll be fine. She's got built-in life preservers.

Robin: I still figure it could be Heather Peterson.
Sarah: Yeah, but it wasn't, so who could it be?
Robin: This town? I think we'll be here 'til next week.
Sarah: Well, let's start with who it isn't. You and me, obviously, and anyone who was at your party the night Verna McBride was killed.
Robin: Well... it's not my little guardian angel who saved my life. It's obviously not Dylan. He was with you the night Verna got sliced and diced.
Sarah: No. No, he wasn't, actually. He... he had to go back and work.
Robin: This is your husband we're talking about. And he's not even from here. His only tie to Waterbury is you. He has zero motive.

Robin: Can I give you a hand?
Sarah: Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.
Robin: No, thank you. I finally have someone to have my lunches with.
Sarah: Well, this is hardly a desert island.
Robin: No, see, I am an island in a sea of weirdos.
[Trent drives by, giving him an evil-eye look]
Robin: Case in point.
Sarah: Clearly.
Robin: That's Joe, the barber across the road, who is obsessed with trains. It's all he can talk about. Carol is three doors down. She runs the Knitting Factory and will only eat white things. I'm serious, like milk, potatoes, cauliflower, rice. It's weird.
Sarah: Well, how do you know I'm not some weirdo?
Robin: 'Cause weird things happen *to* you. Yin and yang.

Robin: [giving Sarah a party invitation] I wasn't going to throw one this year, but...
Sarah: You're doing it for Justin.
Robin: Yeah. Yeah. Halloween was like Christmas and Eid and a drag show all rolled up into one for him. So it sort of felt wrong not celebrating it, you know? Anyhoo, um... seeing as how I forgot my garlic and holy water, I should make like Dracula and fly, but I will see you at the Eh Frame tomorrow night.
Sarah: No.
Robin: Yes, Sarah.
Sarah: No, you know, I just wanna stay in bed and eat my weight in candy.
Robin: Babe, it's your birthday.
Sarah: Exactly.
Robin: I'm not giving up on you. You will be doing the Monster Mash with me tomorrow night.
Sarah: Yeah, you know what? Just dream big.

Robin: Tom Winston.
Sarah: Well, he's crazy enough, but he's behind bars.
Robin: So what? Serial killers have groupies. What if Tom is the brains, and he's got someone on the outside being the brawn?
Sarah: Yeah, but he doesn't see anybody. I mean, except for me.
Robin: Yes, he does. Alan Henry.
Sarah: [getting it] Alan is his religious counsel.
Robin: Uh-huh, and these are religious murders, right? No, wait, that doesn't make sense. No, Tom... Tom tried to kill Alan.
Sarah: No, he actually didn't. Tom spared him. He told me.
[seeing his look and realizing something]
Sarah: Oh, shit.

Robin: [following Alan Henry] Sarah, my spidey-senses are tingling and telling me that we should not be doing this.
Sarah: Want to just stay in the car? It's okay, you know. You don't have to be brave for me.
Robin: I know, but I need to be brave for Justin.

Robin: I'm sorry, I have to say this. You just look so much more normal than I thought you would.
Justin: Robin.
Robin: What? I'm just saying what everyone else in this town is too polite to say out loud. But honey, I am not polite, and moving into the same house that your parents were murdered in is cuckoo crazy.
Justin: I am so, so sorry.
Sarah: You know what? It-It's fine. I-It's nothing compared to this morning. There was this woman across the road...
Robin: Ah!
Justin: Verna McBride.
Robin: I hate her.
Sgt. Cam Henry: Some tenants have had issues with her in the past.
Sarah: [sarcastic] Issues. Great.

Sarah: Alan was working the room like he was running for office. I mean, it was bizarre.
Robin: Okay, so... uh, Alan finds out that June and Trent are cuckolding his son, and he kills them.
Sarah: Maybe, but... you know, they were both guilty of sloth, so... unless Alan's using the seven deadly sins as a cover, but... then why would he kill my grandmother and Justin?
Robin: Yeah, right, why would a Christian zealot want to kill a gay Muslim?
Sarah: And Verna McBride, I mean...
Robin: Oh, I wanted to kill Verna McBride. Many times. No, wait. Alan lives with Cam. The police went through that house top to bottom. They would've found something.
Sarah: What about Alan's other house?

Robin: Chief Vaughn...
Sarah: [scoffing laugh] He's either a complete idiot or a suspect, so I'm gonna say both.
Robin: Cam?
Sarah: No. No. Cam is innocent. I mean, I don't have any proof, but...
Robin: So he could go either way. Like me in university. Uh... June? She was Trent's partner.
Sarah: What, you really think June would come up with something this complicated?
Robin: Reowr!
Sarah: [laughing] No, okay... okay, that wasn't very nice. I like June, I do.
Robin: [quasi-patronizingly] Mm. I know.
Sarah: She's pretty and she's...
Robin: [mimicking her] "She's pretty."
Sarah: She's sweet, and...
[seeing him grin]
Sarah: I... I'm not making this any better, am I? Okay, I'm gonna stop.