The Best Rory Cowan Quotes

Agnes: [reading the newspaper] For sale: Herd of cows, never been bred. Also for sale: gay bull.
Rory: [walks into the kitchen] Morning.
Agnes: [smirks at the camera, folds the paper and puts it on the table] Moo.

Rory: Danger is my middle name.
Dino: Bond. James Bond!
Agnes: Off. Fuck off!

Rory: Mammy, what's wrong?
Agnes: Deano is wearing suspenders! Oh Rory, I think he's a trans-testicle!

[Buster is being sick in the closet toilet and Rory knocks on the door]
Rory: [thinking it's Mammy] Are you in there?
Buster: Yes!
Rory: Mammy, you need to know, I'm gay. I love Deano and I want the world to know. Are you upset?
[Buster throws up and Rory becomes upset]
Rory: Oh Mammy I knew you'd take it hard! But please try to think of my happiness!
[Buster throws up again and Rory falls to the floor, crying]
Rory: Oh Mammy! How can I be happy? Please try to think of me!
Agnes: [arriving] Well you can get off the fecking floor for starters.
[Rory screams]
Agnes: [startled] What is wrong with you?
Rory: Mammy, I need to come out of the closet!
Agnes: Wait till Buster finishes to go in first!

Rory: What's fun?
Agnes: Trivial Pursuit.
Rory: Ah Jesus, no!
Agnes: It's only a game.
Cathy: Not when you play it Mummy.
Rory: Last year Dino had to have counselling.