The Best Billy Sparks Quotes

Dale: Hey Billy! You're supposed to be warming up
Billy: I found a worm

[Sheldon is holding his first Mathology sermon in his garage]
Sheldon: Welcome to the Church of Mathology. Today I'd like to talk about prime numbers, and why they bring us joy.
Billy: Hallelujah!

Brenda: [Sheldon is dressed as Mr. Spock] I'm gonna have a little chat with your mother.
Sheldon: Seems unlikely. My mother's on Vulcan.
Billy: My mother's on Valium.

Mary: Missy, don't forget that you have to pick out a present for that birthday next week.
Missy: Mom, it's Melissa now.
Mary: [under her breath, to Brenda] Middle School!
Billy: Who's Melissa?
Missy: Me.
Billy: Then who's Missy?
Missy: Missy is short for Melissa, like how Billy is short for William.
Billy: I don't understand.
Missy: You know how your real name is William...
Billy: I'm Billy.
Sheldon: No, we call you Billy, but your real name is William.
Billy: But my underpants say 'Billy' in them. Mom, is my name William?
Brenda: [reluctantly, in a whisper] Yeah.
Billy: [somewhat panicked] Then whose underpants am I wearing?