50 Best Georgie Cooper Quotes

John: [on TV] Yippie-kai-yay, Mister Falcon.
Missy: Wait, who is Mister Falcon?
Georgie: No one.
Missy: Then why did he say it?
Georgie: Well, in the real version he said a bad word, but they had to change it for TV.
Missy: TV is so lame. What did he really say?
[Georgie whispers in Missy's ear]
Missy: That's so much better.
Georgie: This movie works on a lot of levels.

Georgie: Can I ask you a personal question?
Meemaw: You're not in my will.
Georgie: It's about my girlfriend.
Meemaw: Uh-oh.
Georgie: Uh, nothing bad. It's just, I've been seeing Jana for a while now, and I like her fine... but it feels like she's getting more serious than I want to be.
Meemaw: Georgie, until you're married, you are not tied down to anybody. You just go ahead and do whatever you want. Play the field. Have some fun.
Georgie: Interesting. That's what Dale said, too.
Meemaw: Oh, did he?
Georgie: Yeah.
Meemaw: My boyfriend?
Georgie: Yeah.

Georgie: [after George took a Polaroid picture of Georgie cleaning his room for Veronica] What are you doing?
George: Documentation. This may never happen again.

[Sheldon's father, George Sr., is trying to get a look at Sheldon's new girl-friend as they're eating lunch in the library. George Jr. - aka Georgie - comes up behind him]
Georgie: Y'know spying on kids is creepy.
George Sr.: [startled] I wasn't spying on kids. I was spying on your brother.
Georgie: Why don't you just go inside?
George Sr.: Well then it wouldn't be spying now, would it?
[looks back in library and finally sees Libby, Sheldon's friend]
George Sr.: Well...
Georgie: Well what?
George Sr.: You didn't mention she was black.
Georgie: Was I supposed to?
George Sr.: No... 'course not.
Georgie: Then why bring it up?
George Sr.: It just wasn't what I was expectin'.
Georgie: What were you expectin'?
George Sr.: It's a big school; why're you *right here*?
Georgie: They got some books in there about Martin Luther King. Maybe you should go read one.
[pats George Sr. on arm]

Georgie: Okay, in my defense...
Connie: You have no defense. You're an idiot!
Georgie: That was a big part of my defense.

Georgie: [Reading from a list on how to get rich] 'Sell blood or other non-vital organs.'
George Cooper Sr.: Mm, give 'em your brain. You're not using it.
Sheldon: [laughs awkwardly]
George Cooper Sr.: I think that's the only time I've ever heard you laugh.
Sheldon: That's the only time you've ever been funny.

Dale: I mean, if you're lying to her, that's not okay.
Georgie: Hold on - you're saying if you were my age and dating this hot girl, you'd tell her the truth and blow your chances?
Dale: Well that's not the question you asked me!

Mary: [at dinner] So, good news. We're gonna have a house guest for a couple days.
Georgie: [annoyed] Oh, not Aunt Ruth.
Sheldon: Her beard is very scratchy.
George: My sister doesn't have a beard!
Missy: Did she shave it?

Missy: [to Veronica at the Cooper dinner table] You're so tall and pretty. You should be Vanna White.
Georgie: How can she be Vanna White? Vanna White is Vanna White.
Missy: Fine. She can be Vanna Blue.

Georgie: Where you going?
George Sr.: To get Sheldon.
Georgie: Do I get a vote in this?
George Sr.: No.
Georgie: Dang.

[Mary is upset that George Sr., Connie, and George Jr. have conspired to keep a secret from her]
Mary: So you all thought you should keep this from me?
George Sr.,10791: [simultaneously] Absolutely. 100%. Yes.

George Sr.: Mary, it's been a long day. Can we just have a quiet dinner?
Mary: Sure.
[scoffing]
Mary: "Nice people."
George Sr.: [frustrated] Then why'd we leave him there?
Mary: Because we love him and we want the best for him.
Missy: [awkward silence] This is tense.
Meemaw: Me and the kids had a nice day. Watched a lot of football.
Georgie: You know the Dolphins' helmet has a dolphin on it? And that dolphin is also wearing a helmet. But its helmet doesn't have a dolphin on it. It has the letter "M."
Meemaw: We talked about that for an hour.

Georgie: Just say hi, keep it casual, pretend like you don't care that much.
Missy: But I care the most!
Georgie: See, that's gonna freak him out.
Missy: How do you know?
Georgie: 'Cuz it's freaking me out! Now go!

Georgie: [Mary's crying about Sheldon leaving] Why're you crying?
Meemaw: [to him] Why're you stupid?

[Georgie catches his mother watching "Road House" despite it's content]
Georgie: Mary Cooper, what are you doing?
Mary: Nothing.
Georgie: Why are you watching Road House?
Mary: Why aren't you at work?
Georgie: I asked you first, and my question is way more interesting.

Mary: [Mary learns that Georgie is taking a part-time job] Are you OK with this?
George Cooper Sr.: Yeah, I think it'd be good for him.
Mary: I don't know. I think his education should come first.
Georgie: Come on, Mom, it's not like I'm gonna graduate Valedictatortorian.
George Cooper Sr.: You heard him.

Lisa: Hi Georgie, it's Lisa from English class.
Georgie: Oh hey, what's up?
Lisa: I was wondering if you could help me with our homework.
Georgie: Crap! We have homework?

Georgie: [after an argument with Dr Sturgis, Sheldon declares a Math Emergency] What's a Math Emergency?
George Cooper Sr.: That's when things don't add up.
[he laughs at his own wit, but no-one else is smiling]
George Cooper Sr.: Oh, come on, guys, that was a good one.

Sheldon: It didn't dawn on me until many years later that my dad only pretended to be dumb, and asked me questions about thunder and lightning to make me feel better.
Georgie: [looks at the downpour outside] Looks like rain.
Sheldon: My brother on the hand, never *had* to pretend to be dumb.

Mary: I'm taking our house back from the forces of evil.
Georgie: What's evil about Black Sabbath?
Missy: You're not helping.

George Cooper Sr.: Wait, are you asking me what I want? Well, that's a first.
Mary: Oh, please! Your whole life is doing whatever you want.
George Cooper Sr.: Oh, really?
Georgie: I can just leave.
George Cooper Sr.: Did I want to get stuck coaching high school football? Did I want to live across the street from your mother? Did I want to spend my evening getting yelled at by my daughter and my son and my wife?
Mary: I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
George Cooper Sr.: Because you never bothered to ask.

Meemaw: Good mornin'.
Georgie: Morning.
Meemaw: Did you sleep good?
Georgie: Yeah.
Meemaw: Want some pancakes?
Georgie: Sure.
Meemaw: Just one more question about Dale.
Georgie: Bye.

Georgie: Is that how little you think of me?
George Cooper Sr.: Yes! Maybe less!

Mary: Getting baptized just to kiss a girl! What were you thinking?
Georgie: Sounds like you *know* what I was thinking!

Georgie: [Repeated line, unenthusiastically] Uh-huh.

[repeated line]
Georgie: It's got a mini-fridge.

Georgie: I'm never having kids.
Connie: [laughs] That's probably the smartest thing you've ever said.

Mary: Where are you going?
Georgie: Out with Jana.
Mary: You've been spending a lot of time with her lately. Is she your girlfriend?
Georgie: Dad, can you make her stop?
George Cooper Sr.: I could, but I won't. Also I can't.

George Sr.: I'll bet you a hundred bucks you're married by the time you're 25.
Georgie: You're on. It's like I'm taking money from you.
Sheldon: [Voice over] Georgie married his first wife when he was nineteen. He never paid my father.

Meemaw: They ever leave the store together?
Georgie: Can I please just go to bed?
Meemaw: Just answer the damn question.
Georgie: I feel like I'm gonna get fired for this.
Meemaw: Georgie, don't worry. Anything you say is gonna stay right here.
Georgie: But you lie all the time. I learned to lie from you.
Meemaw: See what a special bond we have? Now answer the damn question!

[Missy is questioning her belief in religion]
Missy: Do you ever wonder if it's all made up?
Georgie: Look, this is Texas. We like football. We like God. And beef. Beef's up there, too.

Georgie: [He and George are watching football in the living room] I ain't never gettin' married.
George Sr.: Is that so?
Georgie: Girls ain't nothin' but trouble.
[No sooner than that leaves his mouth, the phone rings. He jumps up]
Georgie: I'll get it.
[Runs to the phone and picks up, bad suave voice]
Georgie: Hello. Georgie speaking.
Missy: [At Meemaw's] Did you run to the phone? Do you feel stupid?
[Cut back to Georgie, he hangs up]

George: Why are you reading my paper?
Georgie: Well, pardon me for keeping up on events of the day.
George: Tomorrow's headline: "Father Strangles Son."
Georgie: Good luck. My horoscope says :"Things are looking up."

Sheldon: So, is that a yes to buying the house?
Georgie: Sorry. When I move out, it ain't gonna be 20 feet away and it's gotta have a hot tub.

Mary: How was school?
Georgie: It's school. It's a turd-fest.
Mary: Charmin'.

Georgie: [trying to throw rocks at an abandoned television set] Dang it, the screen won't break.
Erica: Bet it'll break if we blow it up.
[reveals an M-80 firework]
Missy: [whispering to her brother] I love her.

Georgie: Remember, the smart cheater gets some answers wrong.

Missy: It's gonna be weird here without Sheldon.
Georgie: Don't you mean less weird?
Meemaw: That's not nice.
Georgie: I wasn't trying for nice.
Meemaw: You sure you're not jealous 'cause your little brother's moving up in the world?
Georgie: Hey, I got plans of my own.
Meemaw: Do tell.
Georgie: Soon as I graduate high school, I'm gonna be a professional male model.
Meemaw: That's hilarious.
Georgie: What? I'm good-lookin'.
Meemaw: No, that you think you'll graduate high school.
Missy: The model thing was funny, too.

Pastor: And now, why don't we take a moment to pray, uh, keeping in mind that our prayers should not be for our own benefit, but for our family, friends, fellow Texans, Americans of all races and religions and the world. Well, most of the world. Y'all know what countries to pick.
Mary: [to herself] Lord, please look after my family. Give them everything they need to be happy and healthy. And this lovely young girl with me tonight, help her stay on the path of righteousness.
Veronica: [to herself] God, please look after my sister. You can find her at the women's correctional facility in Lubbock. Help her seek salvation in you instead of cocaine, marijuana and bass players.
Georgie: [to himself] Jesus, I'm sure, even from Heaven, you can see how hot the girl sitting next to me is. And I know I'm not supposed to pray for myself, but here's the deal: if you can get her to fall in love with me and, you know, make some bad decisions, I swear I'll come to church every Sunday.
Mary: [to herself] And thank you for bringing Georgie tonight, even though you and I both know why he came. Speaking of which, whatever he's praying for right now, ignore it.
Veronica: [to herself] And please protect me from impure thoughts, and teach me to respect the sanctity of my body.
Georgie: [to himself] Now, if for instance, she and I were to go skinny dipping and one thing were to lead to another under the moonlit sky, get this: not only do I become a devout Christian, I will also bug everybody I meet to do the same. And you know I can be real annoying when I set my mind to it.
Mary: [to herself] Amen.
Veronica: [to herself] Amen.
Georgie: [to himself] I'm gonna take your silence as a yes.
[beat]
Georgie: Amen.

Georgie: [They're doing laundry, he opens the dryer door and pokes his head into it] Where does the water come out of?
George Sr.: Well, seeing is that's the dryer, nowhere.
Georgie: [Opens the lid of the washer] So this is the washer?
George Sr.: No fooling you.
Georgie: What are you doing?
George Sr.: Seperating the whites from the colors.
Georgie: Whoa. That's racist.
George Sr.: [Talking to himself] How'd I wind up with a rocket scientist for one son and a rodeo clown for the other?
Georgie: Man, I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown. They make people happy and they get to see the rodeo for free.

George Cooper Sr.: Georgie, do you mind? We're trying to talk.
Georgie: So? You can talk anywhere, but this is the only room in the house with a TV in it.
Mary: Georgia, leave the room.
Georgie: Fine, suit yourself.
[gets up]
Georgie: But if I was allowed to have a TV in my own room, we wouldn't be having this situation now would...
George Cooper Sr.: Get out.

Georgie: So you just put her in my room without consulting me?
George: Consulting you? Who cares what you think?
Georgie: Well, I ain't gonna sleep on the couch.
Mary: It's just for a few nights until she can take care of herself.
Georgie: Can I at least stay at Meemaw's?
George: If you promise not to come back.
Georgie: Why you got to be so mean to me?
George: It just feels right.

George Sr.: [Sheldon's new friend is having dinner with the Coopers] So, uh, Tam... what kind of name is that?
Tam: Vietnamese, sir.
George Sr.: Sure. I spent a little time over there. Army. Your Mom's name isn't Kim Lee, is it?
Tam: No, sir.
George Sr.: [seeming relieved] Good, good. I mean, yeah. It's a small country. So... Mary, how's that food comin'?
Mary: [from the kitchen] Almost.
Georgie: So, Viet Nam. Like in Rambo.
Tam: Yes.
Georgie: That's a cool movie.
Tam: Yes.
Georgie: Are you in it?
Tam: No.

George Sr.: You're really holding the line on this.
Mary: I'm sorry, but he just pushed my buttons.
George Sr.: Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it.
[winks]
Georgie: Ew.
Missy: Gross.
Meemaw: I agree. Pretty gross.
George Sr.: [slight pause] Y'all are mean.

Veronica: Georgie, do you really think you're capable of just being my friend?
Georgie: That's a good question. My brain says yes.
Veronica: What about the rest of you?
Georgie: [with a twinkle in his eye] Honestly, I wouldn't trust it.

[Georgie caught his mother watching "Road House" despite it's content]
Georgie: This is a pretty dirty movie.
Mary: How do you know? It is rated R.
Georgie: [smugly] For violence, language and sexual content. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Sheldon: [Screaming, while the boys at the party are holding him up in the air, mosh style] PUT ME DOWN! I SAID, "PUT ME DOWN"! PUT ME DOWN, I'M NOT ENJOYING IT!
Georgie: Missy, what are you doin' here?
Missy: Cutting loose. What are you doin' here?
Sheldon: [Boys lowering him] Slowly, slowly, slowly!
[sighs in relief]
Georgie: And you, too?
Sheldon: Hello, Georgie!
Georgie: You're not supposed to be here!
Sheldon: Neither are you! You're grounded!
Georgie: Come on! Both of you are goin' home, now!
Sheldon: Oh, thank goodness!
[Missy groans]

Meemaw: So you think he's seeing somebody else?
Georgie: I don't think I should be talking about this. He's my boss.
Meemaw: Well, he's my boyfriend, so spill it.
Georgie: It's weird when old people say "boyfriend."
Meemaw: Fine. My lover.
Georgie: Well, that's worse.
Meemaw: Then talk!

Georgie: Maybe you can chew up his food and spit it in his mouth! - After his mom cuts up Sheldon's food into small bites

Georgie: If you're talking about Jana getting pregnant, she ain't gonna.
Mary: That is what I thought, the next thing I know, I'm in the courthouse getting married.
Georgie: You got married, because you were pregnant?
Mary: Yes.
Georgie: So I was a mistake?
Mary: No! No... You are a blessing. The mistake was lying to my parents so that I could spend the night at your dad's house. And, you know, tequila.