The Best Coach Dale Ballard Quotes

Dale: You wanna switch to light beer?
George: Hey, I may have boobs, but I'm still a man.

Dale: Well, to answer your question, it's just great. See, I get to wander around the house in my underwear and I can make whatever bodily noises I choose whenever I choose.
George: Oh, I do that now.
Dale: Well then you got yourself a keeper.

Dale: [to Georgie] You're like the son I never wanted.

Dale: [talking on the phone] Well, we don't carry hockey skates but, heck, I know a place up north where you can find them. It's called Canada.
[hangs up the phone]

Dale: Forgiving people sucks.

Dale: Hey Billy! You're supposed to be warming up
Billy: I found a worm

[Dale is promising a a discount in his athletic supply store in exchange for sexual favors]
Connie: Are you putting a price on on my affections?
Coach: Yeah, kinda.
Connie: You're gonna regret it. I'm really fun.
[Meemaw chuckles silently as she walks away]

Dale: I was married for 18 years and I gotta tell ya, it was the two best years of my life.
George: What's it like, you bein' single at yer age?
Dale: Are you thinkin' about it?

Dale: You go to this casino often?
Meemaw: Kinda. So don't be surprised if everybody knows my name, how I take my whiskey, and the color of my lucky bra.
Dale: Purple.
Meemaw: No, that's my *get* lucky bra.

Dale: Boobs are headlights. Everybody knows that.

Dale: I mean, if you're lying to her, that's not okay.
Georgie: Hold on - you're saying if you were my age and dating this hot girl, you'd tell her the truth and blow your chances?
Dale: Well that's not the question you asked me!