The Best Chuck Larabee Quotes

Chuck: This election, can't wait til it's over, the election not the marriage although either one would solve it

Mike: Have we met before?
Helen: You do look vaguely familiar.
Mike: Yeah. Is this your, uh, tile saw? It's a nice one.
Helen: You like tools?
Mike: Not as much as I used to. So, other than making a lot of noise, what are you what are you doing out here?
Helen: Ugh, I got a million things to fix around the house. My idiot husband thought he was quite the handyman, but mostly, he just set stuff on fire, blew things up, and complained about my cooking.
Mike: Sounds like a fun Tuesday night.
Helen: You should try putting up with him for eight years. Eight long years.
Mike: The thing is, this saw is making a lot of noise, and it's bothering the dog next door, who's barking and keeping everybody awake. Is there a way you could just start the sawing a little later in the morning?
Helen: Sorry, I do my best work in the morning.
Mike: I used to get my best sleep in the morning.
Chuck: [peeking over fence] Hi-dee-ho there, Baxter.
Mike: Hey, Larabee.
Chuck: Doesn't sound like you're doing much better with Helen than I did. I told you she was a tough one.
Mike: Yeah. Do you have something else on besides that hat?
Chuck: Maybe it's time for a different approach. You know, Mike, this reminds me of the ancient Aztecs. Whenever they had trouble with a neighboring tribe, very often...
Mike: Yeah, I got... listen, y-you lost me on "hi-dee-ho."