The Best Ryan Vogelson Quotes

Ryan: Republicans make it to Senate, Obama's hands are tied
Mike: How will he play golf?
[Mike opens the door to see Chuck and screams]
Mike: What are you dressed as little girl?

Vanessa: [Ryan is standing outside so he doesn't catch chicken pox] Some selfish parent, all the other other kids had their shots, why should I?
Kristin: Or a thoughtful well informed parent who knows the vaccine can make their child sicker than the disease, I chose not to vaccinate Boyd.
Mike: You what!
Ryan: You what! Seriously I can't hear you, speak up!

Kristin: Hey, come on in. Everybody this is my new boss. This is John Baker.
Vanessa: Oh hi, i'm Vanessa.
Mike: [Inquisitively] Mike Baxter... man you look familiar.
John: Well, you know, I used to work with Kristen.
Mike: [Confidently] That's not it.
Kristin: Well, uh, John just came by to give me a ride to my first dinner shift.
John: Yeah, you know makes sense to carpool, save the planet, right?
[Pats Ryan on back]
Ryan: [Annoyed] Yeah, whatever.
John: [Saving Face] I'm just kidding. Environmental regulations are job killers. I'm a small business owner, I know.
[Opens door to leave]
Kristin: [Surprised] Whoa, is that your car?
John: [Confidently] Ah, yeah. I had it supped up a bit.
[Gets Mike's attention]
John: You know... for more power.
Mike: [Grunts] OOOOOOAGH YEAAAAAAH
Ryan: [John and Kristin leave]
[Ryan is annoyed]
Ryan: Bye
Mike: [to Vanessa, about John] That kid was raised RIGHT.

Ryan: Scared of a little boy?
Mike: This coming from the guy who took one look at him and left for three years.

Ryan: I don't want Boyd thinking that violence is fun. Now I'm gonna go outside and figure out where to hang the Donald Trump piñata.

Kristin: [about Mandy and Kyle] . I don't get it: they lose, their happy; they win; they're happy.
Ryan: I think the key is they're *happy*!

Ryan: Face it, Wilson is overcrowded and the faculty is overwhelmed. I mean, at my first PTA meeting I was the only 'P'.
Mike: So you were all alone with just T and A.

Ryan: Is there something wrong?
Mike: Not if you enjoyed The Revenant.

Ryan: That God is watching over us garbage
Mike: You mean the basis of Western civilization,that garbage?