The Best Flemming Quotes

River: Flemming! How are the twins?
Flemming: Still digesting their mother, thank you for asking.
River: I'm sure it was a lovely ceremony.
Flemming: Oh, there were tears. And just a hint of screaming.

River: Darling, in the event of a sudden meteor strike on the lower starboard decks, where would you say is the safest place to stand?
Flemming: Meteor strike?
The: Exactly here, I should think.
River: Do you know what that isn't? A coincidence.
The: Your escape plan.
River: It's cheaper than a taxi.
Scratch: What meteor strike?
Computer: Alert: meteor storm imminent.
River: That meteor strike.
Flemming: [shocked] How could you know?
River: I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up.
[meteors begin to crash into the ship]
River: See you in four hundred years!

Scratch: If I may intrude, your Majesty. The Doctor is a legendary being of remarkable power and an infinite number of faces. His head, I assure you, would be your crowning achievement.
Flemming: Besides which, many of us on this ship would be happy to see his career cut off, as it were, at the neck.

Flemming: Is the gentleman here for dinner?
The: Yes, he is.
Flemming: Excellent! I'll have the chef prepare him immediately.
The: No, you won't.
River: Er, he will in fact be joining me to eat.
Flemming: I was about to suggest that force-feeding might be required.

Flemming: You need a head. I can get you a head fit for a king.

Flemming: You're the woman he loves.
River: No, I'm not.
Flemming: She's lying.
River: The Doctor does not and has never loved me. I'm not lying.
King: [scans River] Confirmed. The life form is not lying.
Flemming: Impossible. This is a trick.
River: No, it isn't.
Flemming: My information is correct. You are the woman who loves the Doctor.
River: Yes, I am. I've never denied it. But whoever said he loved me back? He's the Doctor. He doesn't go around falling in love with people. And if you think he's anything that small or that ordinary, then you haven't the first idea of what you're dealing with.