The Best Lars Barriga Quotes

Lars: This is all your fault. I know if something went wrong today, it would be because of you. Now I'm never going to be friends with these guys all because of your weird mom.
[a short pause]
Steven: What do you know about my mom. I didn't even get to know my mom but I do know she saw beauty in everything. Even in stuff like this and even in jerks like you.

[Stevonnie goes into the donut shop. Lars and Sadie have never seen this beautiful stranger before and blush at the sight of them]
Lars: H-how... can I help... me?
[Stevonnie flips their long, thick black hair and wrings it out]
Stevonnie: Two donuts, please.
[Lars gets out a bag of donuts without taking his eyes off of Stevonnie. Stevonnie gets out a bill]
Stevonnie: What do I owe you?
Lars: Uh...
Sadie: Oh, nothing. It's on the house.
Stevonnie: Really?
[Lars and Sadie nod]
Sadie: Mm-hmm.
Stevonnie: Okay.
[They take the bag of donuts and head for the door]
Stevonnie: But just so you know, that isn't a very sound business practice.
[as Stevonnie leaves, Lars and Sadie stare at them, open-mouthed]

Lars: How is she having such a good time without me? Does she even know I died out here?

Lars: ...So, wait. I'm a zombie, now?
Steven: No. W-well... No! Y-you can talk, and zombies can't do that. I must have healed you! I've healed people before, just never this much.
Lars: Just admit it, Steven! I'm a zombie!
Steven: O-oh! I know! A zombie wouldn't have a heartbeat!
[He places his head close to Lars' chest. He looks concerned and starts sweating with surprise and fear. The heartbeat is there, but the beats are very slow and far in between]
Steven: That's, uh, pretty slow. But, I think we can rule out 'pink zombie'.

Lars: [as Steven, reading Lars's report card] Fuh-fuh-fuh-fuh-buh-duh-uff...? That doesn't spell anything!

[Lars is checking his pulse when Steven emerges out of his hair, making them both topple over. Lars sits up, groaning]
Steven: Sorry, Lars.
Lars: So, what happened? What's in my head?
Steven: Home!
Lars: Wha?
Steven: Everyone! I made an amazing discovery! I just travelled back to Planet Earth by going through Lars' head!
Lars: You went back to Earth? What the heck? Is my head like a wormhole?
Steven: No, it's way simpler than that! You see, I have a pink pet lion who belonged to my mom when she was still here and, it turns out I can go into his mane and it transports me to a magical dimension where my mom kept a bunch of artefacts on a hill with a tree and for some reason I can't breathe in there. But anyway, when I went into Lars' head I got transported to the same magical dimension, but it was a new part of it, but since the two are connected, I can reach the portal that leads out of Lion's mane which is back on Earth!
Lars: [Stunned] Uhhhh...