The Best Jamie Quotes

[Steven and Jamie are about to put on a play written by Mayor Dewey, but heavily edited by Pearl]
Steven: I hope Mayor Dewey isn't mad about the changes.
Jamie: I guess we'll have to see. Heh heh heh...
Steven: Are you nervous?
Jamie: Of course. This could either make or break my career.
Steven: You could lose your job at the Post Office?
Jamie: This could either make or break my hobby.
Steven: [nervous laughter] Acting...

Jamie: [as Pearl] Greetings. I am Pearl, and I come to you as the messenger of the brilliant Rose Quartz! We ask that you turn your ship around. The land that you are headed for is no walk in the park for your species.
Steven: [as Dewey] Nonsense. I won't take orders from the likes of you!
Jamie: [as Pearl] Hmph. Well, then...
Jamie: [as Garnet] You should turn around lest you fall into the sea. And you know humans aren't very good swimmers.
[He holds up a mop with a gem on it which is supposed to represent Amethyst]
Jamie: [as Amethyst] They ain't.