Top 20 Quotes From Madame Vastra

Madame: You're giving up? You never do that!
The: Yeah, and don't you sometimes wish that I did?

Madame: There are two refreshments in your world the color of red wine. This... is not red wine.

Commander: [marching Col. Manton down hallway at gunpoint] All airlocks sealed, resistance neutralized.
The: Sorry, Colonel Manton, I lied! 3 minutes, 42 seconds.
Commander: Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw.
The: No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away.
Colonel: You what?
The: Those words: "Run away." I want you to be famous for those exact words. I want people to call you "Colonel Run Away"; I want children laughing outside your door 'cause they found the house of Colonel Run Away; and when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through people *I love*!
Madame: [inhales sharply]
The: ...is in any way a good idea... I want you to tell them your name. Oh, look. I'm angry. That's new.
The: [crying] I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.
Madame: The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men have too many rules.
The: [turns his head slowly to look at her] Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many. Hmm?
Madame: Give the order. Give the order, Colonel: "Run away."

Madame: Strax! You're over excited! Have you been eating those jelly sherbet fancies again?

Strax: If this weak and fleshy boy is to represent us, I strongly advise the issuing of scissor grenades, limbo vapor and triple blast brain-splitters.
Madame: What for?
Strax: Just generally. Remember, we are going to the North.

Jenny: You're home early, ma'am. Another case cracked, I assume?
Madame: Send a telegram to Inspector Abberline of the Yard. Jack the Ripper has claimed his last victim.
Jenny: How did you find him?
Madame: Stringy, but tasty all the same. I shan't be needing dinner.

Lorna: I met you once. In the Gamma Forests.
Lorna: [a tear escapes] You don't remember me.
The: Hey, of course I remember.
The: [cups her cheeks] I remember everyone.
The: [wipes her tear] Hey, we ran, you and me.
[Lorna's sad expression deepens to dispair, realizing he'd got it wrong, he doesn't remember]
The: Didn't we run, Lorna?
[with another tear, Lorna takes her last breath and dies]
The: Who was she?
Madame: I don't know, but she was very brave.
The: They're always brave. They're always brave.

Parker: Whoa.
Madame: Thank you Parker, I won't be needing you again tonight.
Parker: Yes, m'lady.

Alice: Captain Latimer! In the garden, there's snowmen! And they're just growing! Out of nowhere by themselves! Look!
[she opens the door]
Madame: Good evening! I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time and this is my wife.
Strax: This dwelling is under attack. Remain calm, human scum.
The: So. Any questions?

Madame: I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my disfigurement. I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people, but as a judgment on the quality of their hearts.
Clara: Are you judging me?
Madame: The Doctor regenerated in your presence. The young man disappeared, the veil lifted. He trusted you. Are you judging him?

Inspector: Well... It just laid an egg.
Madame: It dropped a blue box marked police out of its mouth, your grasp on biology troubles me.

Madame: Is it choking?
Jenny: There seems to be something lodged in its throat.
Inspector: Well, how could it time-travel?
Madame: I don't know. Perhaps it was something it ate.
[dinosaur spits out the Tardis]

Madame: [Madame Vastra tells The Doctor Clara's answer to the One-Word Test] Pond.

Madame: I wear a veil to keep from view what many are pleased to call my disfigurement. I do not wear it as a courtesy to such people, but as a judgement on the quality of their hearts.

Madame: Jenny and I are married, yet, for appearances' sake, we maintain a pretense in public that she is my maid.
Jenny: Doesn't exactly explain why I'm pouring tea for you in private.
Madame: Hush, now.
Jenny: Good pretense, isn't it?

Madame: You can't help yourself. It's the same story every time, and it always begins with the same two words.
The: She'll never be able to find me again. She doesn't even have the name Doctor. What two words?
[Clara suddenly pokes her head through the roof of the hansom cab]
Clara: Doctor? Doctor who?

Jenny: Madame Vastra will ask you questions. You will confine yourself to single word responses. One word only. Do you understand?
Clara: Why?
Madame: Truth is singular. Lies are words, words, and words. You met the Doctor, didn't you?
Clara: Yes.
Madame: And, now, you've come looking for him again. Why?
Jenny: [as Clara hesitates] Take your time. One word only.
Clara: Curiosity.
Madame: About?
Clara: Snow.
Madame: And about him?
Clara: Yes.
Madame: What do you want from him?
Clara: Help.
Madame: Why?
Clara: Danger.
Madame: Why would he help *you*?
Clara: [taken aback] Kindness.
[Jenny looks to Madame Vastra]
Madame: The Doctor is not kind.
Clara: No?
Madame: No. The Doctor doesn't help people. Not anyone, not ever. He stands *above* this world and doesn't interfere in the affairs of its inhabitants. He is not your salvation, nor your protector. Do you understand what I am saying to you?
Clara: Words.
[Madame Vastra is now taken aback, her lie called out. Jenny looks proudly at Clara]
Madame: He was... different, once. A long time ago. Kind, yes. A hero, even. The saver of worlds. But he suffered losses that hurt him. Now, he prefers isolation to the possibility of pain's return. Kindly choose a word to indicate your understanding of this.
Clara: Man.
[Madame Vastra looks to Jenny, who imperceptibly but enthusiastically nods rapidly]

Madame: When did this baby... begin?
The: Oh, you mean...?
Madame: Quite.
The: Well how would I know? That's all humany private stuff. It just sort of goes on, they don't put up a balloon or anything!
Madame: Could the child have begun on the TARDIS, in flight, in the Vortex?
The: No! No! Impossible! It's all running about, sexy fish vampires, and blowing up stuff; and Rory wasn't even there at the beginning, then he was *dead*, then he didn't exist, then he was plastic, then I had to reboot the whole Universe-long story- so, technically, the first time they were on the TARDIS together in this version of reality was on their w...
Madame: On their what?
Dorium: Hmm?
The: On their wedding night.

Clara: Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, last of the Five Good and stoic philosopher.
Madame: Superlative bass guitarist. The Doctor really knows how to put a band together.
Clara: And the only pin-up I ever had on my wall when I was 15, only one I ever had.

The: Doesn't make sense. You can't just cook yourself a Time Lord!
Madame: Of course not. But you gave them one hell of a start and they've been working hard every since.
Dorium: And yet they gave in so easily. Does this not bother anyone else?
The: Amy, she worried the baby would have a "time head", she said that- that- that...
Madame: Only you would ignore the instincts of a mother!
Dorium: Or the instincts of a coward! This is too easy; there's something wrong!
The: Why even do it? Even if you could get your hands on a brand-new Time Lord, what for?
Madame: A weapon?
The: Why would a Time Lord be a weapon?
Madame: Well...
Madame: [exchanges glances with Dorian, sighs] they've seen *you*.
[pause]
The: Me?
Madame: Mr. Maldovar, you are right, this was... *too* easy. We should get back to the others.
The: [sits down, whispers] Me?