50 Best Mona Vanderwaal Quotes

Mona: [re the board game] Think about the mind that conceived this. Why build a dollhouse if you can turn the entire town into a dollhouse? It's brilliant.
[sighs]
Mona: It's beautiful.
[strokes the board as if it's a pony]
Hanna: You two want to be left alone?

Hanna: [investigating police officer Holbrook arrives while Hanna and Caleb are on lookout duty] Holy crap! We've got company!
Mona: [from inside sanitarium] H, use your code.
Hanna: Seriously? Red light, do you hear me?
Mona: We're in!
Hanna: I said "red light" as in the cherry on top of a cop car!

Spencer: Hanna, stop.
Hanna: What other evidence? What is Furey talking about? Did A.D. send him a nose?
Emily: Hey, Hanna, breathe.
Hanna: No, you breathe! We have to play the game until the end or that body is gonna end up in somebody else's hands, piece by piece, and it's not gonna be ours! I'm taking another turn!
Spencer: Okay, it doesn't work like that. You have to be chosen.
Hanna: [to quiet Aria] Why haven't you had a turn?
Aria: I don't know. I'm not in control of this game.
[door opens]
Spencer: What was that?
Mona: [enters] That was me. Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?
Spencer: Uh... an invitation...?
Hanna: Mona knows about the game.
Emily: Why?
Hanna: Because we need her help, Emily. She's brilliant. She knows the answer before you even ask the questions.

Mona: Those bitches are gonna get what they deserve.

Hanna: [girl with dark glasses waiting downstairs in kitchen] God! Mona!
Mona: Is this a bad time?
Hanna: When did you get back?
Mona: Late last night. I just saw your Mom as she was leaving for work. She introduced me to that cop parked on your curb.
Hanna: What's with the shades?
Mona: Is that cop really here 24/7?
Hanna: Yep. And there's a bunch at school too. They stand outside the bathroom while you pee.
Mona: I wish we didn't come out here.
Hanna: Did you feel any safer at the spa?
Mona: Safer than I feel being in the same zip code as Alison.
Hanna: Mona...
Mona: I sent her to jail, Hanna. For months. There's no way she's not plotting some kind of revenge.
Hanna: That's what you're worried about? A is still out there! You've got bigger worries than Alison.
Mona: [nods] Yeah, I know. When I leave here, I have to go straight to the police station. They might still press charges against me for being dead when I wasn't.
Hanna: Well, that's not a crime. It's just being stupid.
Mona: No, Hanna, if there's a full-on investigation that cost the taxpayers more than our new sewer system, it's a crime. And I don't think I'll have any cops looking out for me.
Hanna: They're looking for A! We all are.
Mona: Even more reason for Alison to wanna hurt me.
Hanna: Forget Alison! We have to track down anyone who ever had any contact with Charles DiLaurentis. Someone who worked at Radley has got to know something.
Mona: I'm betting their father.
Hanna: He's no help. Alison is so embarrassed, she only leaves their house nowadays to go to church.
Mona: [scoffs] Church? Alison?
Hanna: Don't get all judgy. She's just trying to move on. We all are.
Mona: [sighs, gets up] Well, will you at least drop me off at the precinct before school? I can't go in there alone. Please?

Hanna: Look, Noel's not worth it. Okay, it's not like any person with half a brain ever trusted him anyway.
Mona: Hanna!
Hanna: I'm just saying he's a bad guy... and you deserve way better.

Mona: [string of enlightening revelations] Shana knew Jenna before she came to Rosewood. I think she's in love with her. They're both afraid of Melissa. When CeCe came to Radley, I thought she was Ali. I don't remember what we talked about. It was before they changed my meds. Lucas gave Emily that massage.
[to: ]
Mona: He said you were tense.
[Emily's eyes widen]
Mona: I recruited Toby when he got that job in Bucks County. I didn't push Ian off the bell tower. I wish I knew who did.
[the four friends regard one another in stunned silence]

Hanna: You know, I'm actually more mad at myself than him.
Mona: For what?
Hanna: For being stupid. I actually believed he loved me.

Mona: [to Hanna, when she doesn't want to play the wish game] Oh, you are such a thud. What's the point of breaking your shell if you turn into such a dull omelet?
Hanna: You make better wishes anyway.
Mona: That's true!

Hanna: Since when do you get panic attacks?
Mona: Since when do you get sauced before third period?

Hanna: Caleb, you were looking for me, you found me, and I'm okay.
Caleb: Like hell you're okay.
Hanna: It's complicated,
[shakes her head]
Hanna: and I don't do complicated. Okay, if my Mom doesn't get out of jail, I have to move in with my Dad, his wife, her blonde tarantula of a daughter, so, compared to that, talking to Mona makes all the sense in the world.
Mona: It's my calming influence.
[smiles]
Hanna: [to Caleb] God, leave me alone, okay? For now.
Caleb: [offended] Sure. I'll leave you alone.

Mona: I am never going to know who she was!
Aria: What did you just say?

Mona: [lost the horses, stumbling through woods] Oh. Ow. Can't be much further.
[to: ]
Mona: How's your ankle? That was so weird. I've never seen one bite before.
Hanna: We lost Kate's horses!
Mona: They'll find their way back! They're like big dogs. I've told you this before.
Hanna: [halts] Hey, did you ever even go to riding camp?
Mona: [pauses] So I embellished a little bit.
[Hanna shakes her head]
Mona: Look, Hanna, the key to survival of any species is adaptability.
Hanna: Well, when there's a nuclear war, I guess it's gonna be Mona and a million cockroaches, because you even had me fooled.

Aria: Don't you read the newspaper or watch the news?
Mona: No.

Mona: [to Lucas about Hanna] You can go now. This beauty doesn't need a beast.

Aria: If we do this,
[shakes her head]
Aria: there's no stepping back from it.
Spencer: And we risk the police finding out about Archer.
Caleb: You mean finding out that Hanna ran him over and you buried him like a dog?
Alison: To quote my dead husband, "Karma's a bitch."
Emily: It was an accident.
Spencer: And we knew how it looked. We did it to protect Hanna.
Mona: Who's currently our resident girl gone rogue.
Caleb: [phones] I'm trying her one last time.
Mona: Let's just ping her cell and go get her.
Caleb: I gave her a new phone, okay? You can't hack it.
[Mona glares at him]
Aria: [dial tone on Caleb's phone] Oh, why isn't she picking up?
Emily: Because Noel probably has her locked up in another slaughtering hole.
Hanna: [voice mail] Hey, it's Hanna. Leave a message.
Mona: Let's just call the cops, okay? Tell them everything you just told us about Jenna and Noel.
Emily: And Sara Harvey. None of us believes that was an accident.
Aria: [grabs her handbag] I'm heading to the Radley. Maybe Jenna will lead us to Noel.
[goes off]
Spencer: Do we call Furey or 911?
Aria: Noel is out there somewhere, and he might have Hanna.
[Spencer dials]
voice: 911, what's your emergency?
Spencer: [rueful look at Aria] I think my friend's been abducted.

Mona: [surprised] Well, baste me in bling and call me Bulgari!

Hanna: [closes door to room where she is holding tied-up Noel captive] I'm sorry to rope you in like this. But when I saw the news, I didn't know who else to call.
Mona: Well, next time call me before you abduct someone else. It just makes my life a little easier.

Mona: [when Emily doesn't want to resort to blackmail] Honey, you can't be a Shark if you're toothless.

Ezra: When you put a tail on somebody, you shouldn't trust it to an amateur.
Hanna: I'm not as used to walking the streets as Mona is.
Mona: Come over here and say that.

Mona: You're my best friend, Hanna. I just wished to always stay close.
Hanna: We will. Besties forever. I promise.
Mona: So, what did you wish for?
Hanna: [crazy about shoes] Jimmy Choos.
Mona: Oh, you're getting those.
Hanna: I am?
Mona: If Santa doesn't bring 'em, we'll steal 'em.
[giggles]

Dr. Anne Sullivan: [re flowers brought] That was very thoughtful of you, Mona.
Mona: Oh, it was nothing. I could never really repay you for what you did.
[eerie smile]
Mona: Bye!
[leaving Dr. Sullivan looking very uncomfortable]

Mona: [in waiting room, with lopsided potted flowers] Dr. Sullivan! I was hoping I'd catch you!

Mona: Spencer? This has to be A's costume.
[hands over fashion sketches]
Mona: I'll call Hanna.
Spencer: A's dressed as the Black Swan.

Mona: Game over, Alison. I win.

Hanna: The police took all the high heels in my house. My mother's, mine.
Mona: And left you with nothing but flats? That's barbaric.

Mona: [quick phone call] Send out a Code A! She's plotting something big!

Mona: Wake up bitch! It's Christmas, and I promise, you don't want to miss it.

Aria: Camp Mona?
Mona: Don't let the camping part scare you. It's glamping not camping. M is for Mona and massages, not mosquitoes.

Mona: Don't be naïve. We can't just call the thing off.
Lucas: Sure we can.
Mona: Did somebody spit in your cornflakes this morning? Why are you suddenly bugging out?
Lucas: I'm not. I'm just having second thoughts. She was held in a basement. Okay? Alison was kidnapped and blindfolded. And I don't even wanna think about what else. Hasn't the universe punished her enough?

Mona: [during rehearsals for "The Bad Seed"] I think my character's being totally selfish. I don't even know how to play that.

[first lines]
Mona: [singing] If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise. If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise...
[red droplets splattering onto her shoes]
Mona: For every bear that ever there was... will gather there for certain because today's the day... the teddy bears have their picnic...

Mona: Is this your way of thanking me?
Spencer: [turns around] Sorry?
Mona: The leak about Yvonne.
Spencer: Okay, Caleb and I had nothing to do with it. How do I know that you didn't do it? I mean, accusing other people of something that you have done, that does have a vintage Mona quality about it.
Mona: Unbelievable. I genuinely do something good, and I end up paying for it. Because of the leak, the Phillips team have gone through everything with a fine-toothed comb. My gift of your Mom's medical records was discovered. I've been fired, my credibility is shot, my future jeopardized. And now, the one person who should be kissing my feet is here accusing me of screwing her.
[nods, turns, walks away]

Hanna: [in front of mirror, trying on bridesmaid dress] So, what do you think?
Mona: Hold on, let me stop dry-heaving first.
Hanna: Okay, it's not that bad.
Mona: Kate Moss would look like a water buffalo in that. All you're missing is cud.

Emily: A rat?
Sydney: Yesterday, after practice. I heard her screaming. Somebody put a dead rat in her cap. You heard about all this?
Emily: No.
Sydney: She was shaking all over. I guess she has a thing with rodents.
[nods emphatically]
Emily: Who did it?
Sydney: No one's fessed up. Coach wants a meeting with the team, but I don't think it was someone on the Sharks. Everyone loves Paige.
[scoffs]
Sydney: Like her, I mean.
Emily: I haven't seen her yet.
Sydney: I don't think she came to school. You okay, Emily?
Emily: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
[Mona comes down the stairs]
Emily: What do you know about this?
Mona: You're gonna have to give me a hint.
Emily: What happened to Paige?
Mona: Oh, that. Ugh. God, it makes me irk just to think about it. Hi, Sydney.
Sydney: Hi.
Mona: Such a creepy thing to do to somebody as sweet as Paige. How is she?
Emily: She stayed home today, scared.
Mona: A dead rat. It has 'boy' written all over it.
Emily: Any particular boy?
Mona: None that comes to mind.
Emily: Not even Noel Kahn?

Hanna: Mona, you have to help me play this game.
Mona: Do what?
Hanna: Play the game and win.
Mona: Why me?
Hanna: Because you are the only person who isn't afraid of it. You admire it. You can get inside the head of whoever made this.
Mona: The reason I'm not afraid of it is because you don't see a little Mona at that starting line.
Hanna: Mona, please...
Mona: Don't ask me to do this.
[stands away]
Hanna: Mona, I am begging you. You are the only one who knows what it's like to make something like this.
Mona: Yes, I do. And that's why I can't touch it. Playing with people's lives like this...
[shakes her head]
Mona: It's an addiction. You're not dealing with a healthy person. You're dealing with an addict. I know. I know more about it than I ever wanted to.
Hanna: Well, then imagine how you'll feel when you beat it.

Mona: You're my first friend, Hanna. I just wished to always stay close.
Hanna: We will.

Mona: [on phone] There is a blonde package waiting for you. Apartment 3B. You know the address.
Spencer: Mona?
Mona: Better hurry up. While she's still breathing.
[cradles receiver]

Mona: Lesli just texted me. She feels she made a lot of progress in her stability and she thinks that this sort of confrontation might set her back.
Spencer: Unbelievable!
Hanna: Tell her to get her ass over here. I'll show her confrontation!
Aria: [grabs car keys] Come on, field trip. Lesli knows who Charles is, and you know where that bitch lives. Let's go!
Mona: No one's going anywhere. Lesli isn't lying. That girl is one lost marble away from a nervous breakdown. Look, I, I swear, Lesli doesn't know anything else. If she did, she would tell me, and I would tell you.
Spencer: The night that Bethany and Charles escaped from Radley, you were with Alison. Ali told us. You picked her up on the side of the road. You took her to the Lost Woods. So, maybe you saw somebody. Some guy who could've been Charles.
Mona: I wish that I did, but no, I didn't see anybody else.
Aria: What about at Radley? Someone you talked to stole the A game from you while you were there. That is what you said.
Mona: I know I did. But I was on so many drugs, I didn't know who I was talking to. I mean, half the time I thought I was being haunted by Ali. And the other half of the time, I thought I was auditioning for American Idol.

Mona: You can tell Ali you love her in front of me, Em. That hasn't been a secret since we were in Brownies.

Mona: [re Hanna's excuse for not letting her into the fold] Don't bother, it's like watching a frog trying to jump out of a pot of boiling water.

Mona: [in front of mirror] So I know we're both violently opposed to polyblends. But this made me a believer.
[twirls towards Hanna, holding some red dress close]
Hanna: It's cute.
Mona: Cute? Mittens are cute. This is fabulous. And this...
[some yellow dress]
Mona: costs more than my mother's car. But, hello, raw silk, you can't go wrong.
Hanna: Yeah. They're both cute.
Mona: What did I say about that word? Did I catch you in the middle of a nap?
[her cell phone beeps, Hanna hands it to her, she checks]
Mona: This is getting really boring.
Hanna: What's going on?
Mona: I'm getting texts from that same freak who sent me the one about your liposuction.
Hanna: What? Wait, Mona, when did this start happening again?
Mona: A few days ago. It's so creepy. Like I'm being watched 24/7.
Hanna: What did the texts say?
Mona: First it was dumb stuff. Accusing me of stealing this necklace.
[reaches for it]
Hanna: Did you?
Mona: Duh, yeah, but why is it their business? Like I'm gonna be scared into returning it? Guess again.
Hanna: Maybe you should return it.
Mona: Fine. Then you have to return half the things in that closet.
Hanna: [looks at her like a fish on dry land, then shakes off that notion] Mona, are there texts for me too?

Hanna: Thanks for coming.
Mona: What do you want?
Hanna: I'm gonna confess to killing Detective Wilden. You're gonna help me.

Mona: [yelling] Spencer!
Spencer: How do you not strangle her?
[is about to go confront]
Aria: [sees a hair out of place] Oh.
[gives Spencer a squirt of hair-spray, which adds to her annoyance]

Mona: Fine. I'll help you and your friends, like I always do, and then crawl back under a rock.

Aria: [as Red Coat figure takes off robe] God, Mona, you scared the crap out of us!
Mona: I've been following Alison since yesterday morning I lost her when you guys jumped the cop.
Aria: You knew that Clark was a cop?
Mona: Aria, maybe you thought he was always happy to see you, but I could never get past the bulge in his pants.

Alison: [in a mausoleum at her burial chamber] Did you follow me? I'm not supposed to be out of my house. But I had to come here to say goodbye. The girl they made that for, she really is gone. I can't be that person anymore, Mona. I know you hated me and wanted me to go straight to hell. Going there was easy; it's the coming back that's hard. But you and me, we understand each other. I need you, Mona, as a friend.
Mona: The truth will bury you in a New York minute. In case you were wondering, that was me. I sent that text. I guess I should have signed my name, because I don't have to pretend to be anyone else anymore. I don't have to hide. You do. And you're gonna wish you stayed dead.

Mona: Look, Spencer, I'm not the enemy. I haven't been for a long time.

Mona: [after uncomfortably long silence] I should actually probably get going.
Hanna: I had fun today.
Mona: No, you didn't. I know you're just pretending to be my friend again.
[nods]

Hanna: [realizes who the masked person was] You were on the Halloween train with me, dressed like Caleb.
Mona: To think that we were
[gestures: ]
Mona: this close to our first kiss.
Aria: [remembers her nightmare experience in the crate] And to getting rid of me for good!
Mona: That wasn't me. And I can prove it.