Top 100 Quotes From Neal McDonough

[Cadets jog and sing as Jake runs in late]
Jack: Airman Fischer's coming in late, yeah!
Cadets: Airman Fischer's coming in late, yeah!
Jack: Must be nice to go out on a date, yeah!
Cadets: Must be nice to go out on a date, yeah!

Damien: That Water totem's gotta be worth something. With all six, you guys might actually have a chance against Mallus.
Ava: You mean the same demon you've been creating anachronisms to release?
Damien: That was before I realized what our partnership would cost me.
Ray: Nora.
Damien: Dies the moment the demon escapes. I know this might rankle you a bit, Sara, but our interests are aligned. We can save Nora and stop Mallus from being freed, together.
Sara: No.
Damien: Excuse me?
Sara: Rory, kill him.

Jack: Mr. Fischer is our high school swim champ. He's had scholarships to every Ivy League.
Ben: [*very* sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that he was so qualified. I mean, you set records in a pool? That's amazing. I'll bet it was like, what, eight feet deep in the deep end? What if your nose plug didn't work? What if another swimmer had cut into your lane? For the love of God, you could've been killed.

Damien: Sweetie, you think it's too early for me to, you know... get back out there? I mean, how long should I mourn your mother?
Nora: It's been 23 years on my end, dad. I say go for it.
Damien: Thank you. Trouble is I haven't had a single match yet. I think the thing is broken.
Alan: If I may... you might have more luck if you tak about your hobbies.
Damien: I just said that I enjoy destroying the world to re-make it in my image. Oh! I like trying new restaurants.
Alan: Also, your profile says you're 199 years old.
Damien: Yeah, it... it wouldn't go any higher. Can you fix that?
Alan: Well, everyone lies about their age, brah.

Officer: John, don't run.
John: You don't have to chase me.
Officer: You don't have to run.
John: Everybody runs, Fletch.

[Jeff and Jessica approach Sean with a deal]
Sean: So what exactly am I getting out of this?
Jessica: You get to save face.
Sean: I do like my face; however, I also like my ass, which will be on the line if I take this deal.
Jessica: Then you have twenty-four hours to decide which one you like more.

Damien: [kills Nate] I thought you were made of steel.

Sean: [looking at Harvey and Mike] Oh, well, well, if it isn't the Wonder Twins... form of "douchebag."
Harvey: Shape of "got you by the balls."
Sean: No, no, no, it's gotta be an animal.

Sean: Did you come here to personally deliver my files?
Harvey: I came here to personally deliver this.
Sean: Well, if it's an invitation to your birthday party, I think I'm busy that day.
Harvey: That's too bad. I promised the children a clown.

Jay: You know what my new favorite sound is going to be? The sound of you screaming like a bitch!

Damien: What's with these vigilantes and their dark spaces? It's like they're afraid of that healthy bronze look.

Ray: No, no, no. Nope. Not gonna do it.
Damien: You and I both realize that your idiot friends are gonna search every Dead show in history before they realize that I don't even like jam bands.
Ray: Be that as it may, I... will not fix the Fire totem. Sorry. You're gonna have to kill me.
Nora: Suit yourself.
Damien: No, no, no, no, hold on a second, sweetie.
[holding up the miniaturized Atom suit]
Damien: I think I'm gonna give this suit to Genghis Khan. Imagine what history would be like if the Mongols had a dwarf star-powered rocket man.
Ray: The Legends will just find the anachronism and fix it.
Damien: Good point.
[in a high-pitched voice, as if the suit is talking]
Damien: Way to go, Ray.
[normally]
Damien: Maybe I will just murder a young Sandy Palmer picking her sons up from Ivy Springs Day Care, 1982.
Ray: I'll need a lab.

Eobard: The next one of you who screws up will lose more than just a tooth.
Damien: Well, I'd hate to see you lose another hand, Malcolm.

Malcolm: About time you showed.
Damien: Where were you?
Eobard: Always busy, gentlemen, and yet never late.

Nora: Dad?
Damien: Nora. It's really you.
Nora: Where are we?
Damien: Doesn't matter. I'm just glad I got to see you before I go.
Nora: What do you mean? I don't understand. You're leaving? I thought you were...
Damien: Dead?
Nora: Yeah.
Damien: I will be, but I guess I just needed a little more time.
Nora: Wait. Dad, please. I don't know what's happening, but you can't leave now. I just got you back.
Damien: I love you, Nora-doll.

Rip: Gideon, fire! Fire everything!
[the mini Waverider fires its weapons at Damien Darhk]
Damien: Aww, isn't that adorable?

Iris: You said I had unfinished business. What is it? It's Barry, isn't it? Where is he? What's happening?
Damien: If you wanna find out, you have to get out of here yourself.
Iris: How? Damn it.
Damien: Oh, come on, Iris. Look at your life. Look at everything that has happened to you since Barry went into that coma. You were destined to die, held captive in another dimension. Hell, you faces certain death over and over again, and every time, you should've died, only you didn't. Why?
Iris: Because I always had help? I...
Damien: [imitates buzzer] Thanks for playing! Wrong answer! Come on. It's right in front of you. You're a survivor. You always will be.
Iris: I haven't reached my limit.
Damien: No, you haven't.
Iris: But what about the spark between Barry and I?
Damien: Well... Just because you can't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't there. So what are you gonna do now, spend the rest of eternity hangin' out with Damien Darhk?
Iris: No.
Damien: That-a girl.
Iris: I'm gonna reignite it.
Damien: Say hi to your old man for me.

Ray: I know Damien has done terrible things in his past which cannot be forgiven, but I... I know that he loves his daughter. We can't just kil him.
Sara: He was already dead. Killing him would be repairing an anachronism.
Rip: Yeah, so would incarcerating him in the Bureau.
Ava: I agree with Rip. We need to think through this situation rationally.
Mick: Boss?
Sara: [after a moment of consideration] Stand down.
Damien: [Mick lowers his heat gun] I'm glad to see you came to your senses.
Sara: [leaving] Think this makes us straight, you're wrong.

Malcolm: If you'd have listened to me, we would have walked out of that bank instead of being chased out.
Damien: Either way, we came out empty-handed. I seem to remember Eobard mentioning how he was going to punish your failure.
Malcolm: If anyone's a failure, it's you. You were the one who learned about Hunter's secret account, yet seemed not to know about a pass code. Sloppy, Damien. No wonder they passed you over for Ra's...
Damien: You see, this where he reminds me that he was Ra's al Ghul. Poor Malcolm. Always living in the past.
Malcolm: This is when I remind you about your future. Aww, that's right. I've been there. I've seen how pathetic you are.
Damien: In this future that you're from, do I at least have two hands?

Joe: Barry, why is there a supervillain standing in my living room?
Damien: Thank you, but I'm not here to cause trouble.
Barry: Damien, how are you still here?
Damien: I don't know. My theory, I was connected to the Time Stone you were wearing. And when you created a portal, it drew me to 2021, also. Although I haven't faded yet, I'm sure I soon will.
Barry: And once you do...
Damien: I die. But my daughter Nora lives. Only that hasn't happened yet, and I don't know why. Maybe if I had the Time Stone.
[Barry zoops away and back, Stone in hand]
Damien: That was handy.

Sara: All right, Malcolm is back in 2016, where he belongs.
Damien: In prison?
Sara: No. His crappy apartment.

Chris: Get your tail-lights fixed, sir.
Jay: What's wrong with my tail-lights?
Chris: [Vaughn smashes the tail-lights with a 4X4] They're broken.

Nora: Can you please stop fooling around?
Damien: Nora doll, what's the point of living if you can't have a bit of fun?
Nora: Well, I'm not enjoying myself. I'm annoyed.
Damien: Hi, Annoyed. I'm Dad.

Ray: The Darhks said that they'd let go of me when they were done with me. He is asking me if I want to see a Grateful Dead concert, which is really kind of weird. But look, you'll probably try to come after me and find me. If you do, he said that he'll kill me, so... you know, please don't do that. Okay, bye.
[hanging up]
Ray: Okay, I have done as you asked, so no more torture today, right?
Damien: I really don't think you understand how this whole torture thing works.

Nora: What the hell are you doing here?
Damien: Saving you, Nora doll. And is that any way to speak to your father?

Damien: Imagine how devastating it would be to the Flash to lose his friends on the eve of his wedding. Nothing destroys a man like losing the ones he loves the most.

Malcolm: That is impressive! You're making quite the splash in Montana, aren't you?
Teal: Now that's smart, making the casino separate from the hotel, right? And what are these? Are these houses?
Dan: Yeah.
Malcolm: A planned second home community with it's own hotel and casino. Now that is smart. Utterly classless. But smart.
Malcolm: You must be the guy.
Dan: What guy would that be?
Malcolm: The guy that fucked with John Dutton.
Malcolm: I understand learning not to do that was a... painful lesson.
Dan: So you're friends with John Dutton, huh?
Malcolm: We know of him.
Teal: Oh, we've never met him.
Malcolm: You see, thriving in Montana is all about staying in your lane. We don't go in his and he's never been in ours, but you have.
Dan: Now how did I do that?
Malcolm: Partnering with an Indian tribe opening an off-reservation casino.
Teal: Oh, but it won't be off-reservation for long. Because annexing this land into the rez is the first thing that he's going to do.
Malcolm: I assume he purchased the land instead of leasing. And I assume he's paying you the profits? Oh, well... Any money you've received was an advance on construction, which he will want back as soon as he nullifies your agreement.
Teal: Just a guess, but... That's what we'd do. If we were trying to steal from you.
Dan: Rocky Mountain Gas and Casino. That's owned by the Beck Brothers. I'm assuming that that's you. I'm just guessing that you don't like competition. Well, let me tell you something, you red-necked fucks! I'm so tired of you bullies with your bolo ties and Lucchese boots. If you got a problem, file. Take me to court. I'll take the Pepsi challenge with your backwoods lawyer any day of the fuckin' week.
Teal: You know, in addition to running Rocky Mountain, my brother's also the head of the Montana Liquor Board. Now do you recall applying for your liquor license through us, right?
Malcolm: I will be revoking that tomorrow. And, of course, I will never issue one for this new venture.
Teal: And that is just the beginning of how we're gonna fuck with you.
Malcolm: I suggest you find a way to extricate yourself from this deal.
Teal: And make a new deal with us. Hell, we'd love to build a casino here.
Malcolm: Well, you got lots to think about.
Teal: Think fast.
Dan: Fuckers. This town, fuckin' place. You wanna play dirty, let's play fucking dirty!

Damien: [referring to his younger self] I am gonna kick my ass.

Malcolm: When we're done here, we need to go to the 1600 block of Vine Street.
Damien: Why, pray tell?
Malcolm: It's where Frank Sinatra's star is on the Walk of Fame. I have always wanted to see it.
Damien: I'm not sure if that's part of our little trinket's itinerary.
Malcolm: I said "when we're done". As far as magical artifacts go, this one is frustratingly unspecific.

Warren: I've seen you play a few times. You're good.
Chucky: Well, I don't know about that. I'd be in a lot of trouble if, uh, if Doc here hadn't made that leap.
Admiral: You can say that again, kid.

Dum: So... A dame and a flying Buick... Okay...

Damien: I get it. You think that I failed you because I joined with the Legends and trapped you here. Well, you're right. I did fail you. But that's not how. I was a terrible father. I was obsessed with world domination. Because of that... I died, leaving you all alone as a child, trapped with my name and my foolish dreams. Oh, I turned you into a demon long before Mallus did. It's why I'm begging you, do not let him take you away from me.
Mallus: Your daughter is long gone.
Damien: No! I know you can hear me. Fight him!
Mallus: Oh, there was no fight. Her soul... her flesh... were freely given.
Damien: You sick son of a bitch.
Mallus: One more alteration to the timeline and my cage crumbles.

Joe: Damien Darhk?
Damien: Are you here to arrest me?
Joe: I'm not a cop anymore. I, uh... I came to say thank you. You helping Barry restore the timeline, it's pretty damn selfless.
Damien: Well, what can I say? Being a parent kinda... changes you.
Joe: Mm, for the better.
Damien: Agreed. Yeah, I wish I knew why I was still here. I should be gone by now, Joe. Nora should be in my place.
Joe: Well, maybe you still got a little work to do.
[Damien closes his eyes]
Joe: Are you trying to cast a spell?
Damien: No. More like a prayer. Maybe this is my unfinished business.
Joe: [taking the Time Stone] What is it?
Damien: It's a gift. Father to father. And I think you're gonna need that someday.
Joe: What...
[in the blink of an eye, he sees Damien is gone]

Malcolm: Do you know the story of Susan Rawlings?
Beth: Real estate attorney from Hamilton.
Malcolm: That's right. We had a mutually beneficial relationship until she figured out a way to bend the law to benefit her business more than my business. That's the problem with playing dirty, Beth. Because when someone plays dirty back, there's no one to cry to. There's no charges to file. There's nowhere to scream about the injustice you endured. Because if you do, all your filthy laundry just spills right out in the open for everyone to see. Susan finally realized that. We moved her somewhere in California where they could help her move past the trauma. It's uncanny how much you look like her.
Beth: You know, I was a pretty bad teenager. Working through some trauma of my own. One might say I had a tendency to "act out." At church one Sunday, I was feeling a little naughty sitting next to this skinny little boy nobody liked. Out of pity, or boredom, I unzipped his slacks. I pulled out his penis and I gave him a hand job in the back pew. It's uncanny how much you look like that boy's dick.
Malcolm: All that tough talk, Beth. I've got the cure for that. We'll see how tough you are after I give it to you.
Beth: Challenge accepted.

Reverse: It's not working. I'm still not fast enough.
Damien: [countering Frost and Chillblaine's attacks] I'm trying to save my daughter here, Allen. Focus!

Damien: You know, the last time I saw Nora, she was still daddy's little girl. And before you know it...
[he snaps his fingers]
Damien: Twenty years passes just like that. And sure, we're traveling through time together, plotting the end of the world, but... I'm left wondering "Where is that little girl, and how do I get her back?". Look, I'm not keeping you alive for my health. Speak!
[realizing Ray can't, he releases his grip]
Damien: Oh.
Ray: [gasping breaths] If you really care that much about Nora, then maybe you shouldn't let her be a conduit for a primordial evil.
Damien: I admit, this isn't the life that I wanted for her, but world domination was supposed to be my gift to her, not her career path.
Ray: Then maybe you should tell her how you feel. She's under a lot of pressure, you know, and it's all to impress you.
Damien: Me? I am so proud of Nora. Obviously she knows that.
Ray: She only knows what you say to her, Damien.
[realizing the awkwardness]
Ray: Can I call you Damien?

Damien: You may continue all threats and counter-threats as soon as I get what I need: the emerald necklace. Where is it?
Mick: That's Blackbeard you're talking to, and he ain't gonna say...
Blackbeard: I buried it on Grace Island. Would you like me to draw you a map? I can't promise to make it to scale, but, um, I can do my damndest.

Amaya: [approaching the cursed Anne] Listen to me. That totem can burden even one born to wear it. I know it must feel like a noose around your neck. Let me help you break free of this curse.
[with a crack, Anne's body falls to the ground, revealing Darhk behind her]
Damien: Thank you for distracting her. Unfortunately, now I have to kill you.

Damien: You know, I must commend you, Lieutenant Maynard, for leading us straight to Blackbeard and his associates.
Lt. Robert Maynard: You're most welcome, Admiral.
Amaya: Admiral?
Damien: I know, right? I look so handsome.
Lt. Robert Maynard: And I'll be made Commodore, once Blackbeard's severed head swings from my ship's bowspirit.
Blackbeard: You know, the last Kingsman who threatened me ended up begging for his own life.

Dave: [to Lynette] You know what a midlife crisis is?
Lynette: I'm married to a 45 year old man who has a red convertible. Yeah, I think I know.

Malcolm: Damien, I think we should go back to basics.
Damien: Yeah, you're right.
Malcolm: Killing's gotten so gosh darn impersonal lately.

Damien: Well, I guess I'm off to East Berlin to stop myself from killing Vogal. Should be fun. You watch the prisoner, and I'll bring you back some chocolate. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm probably gonna get a hat for myself, too.
Nora: No, I'm going.
Damien: To 1962 Berlin? Too dangerous.
Nora: If your younger self sees you, it could change the course of your entire life.
Damien: All right, obviously you haven't been listening. We're talking about going back against me in my prime. You don't stand a chance, Nora doll.
Nora: We're partners. I can do this mission.
Ray: Or you could just call the whole thing off. This is obviously causing a lot of family tension.
Damien: Shut up.

Damien: Let go of the Spear, and I won't use it to turn you into a jockstrap.
[Nate strikes the incoming Reverse-Flash with the Spear]
Nate: Yeah!
[they try to high-five each other]
Damien: Uh, perhaps not.

Ray: What is it? Is it Nora? Is she okay?
Damien: [tying him up] She's alive. His life for hers. He wants to meet in one hour. I should've just listened. This is all my fault. If I lose her...
Ray: L-look, it seems like you're having trouble with a knot.
Damien: I am.
Ray: Okay, well, you're probably slipping the slack through the half-hitch.
Damien: How do you know that?
Ray: Because I'm an Eagle Scout. Trust me.

Robert: So it's safe to say you're not big on "turn the other cheek"?
Monsignor: I realize giving her the gun was a... terrible mistake.

Sgt. Ty O'Brien: 999? Police code? Officer down?
Owen: I'm a fireman. Our codes are like, "Fire!"

[Chris throws a 2x4 through a window, shattering it. Chris is standing behind it]
Jay: I guess that changes our relationship a bit, huh?

Damien: Look, uh, I hate to break up your pity party, but we're running out of time. And, Barry, you have to do this.
Barry: Trust me, I want my life and Iris back more than anything, but I've run the numbers. I will have two minutes to accelerate before my destruction destroys the world.
Damien: Well then, you better run fast.
Barry: Damien, the odds of me hitting Mach 20 in two minutes is 2%!
Damien: It's better than nothing!
Barry: You don't understand. Despero says I cause Armageddon. This is exactly what he described. I won't be responsible for killing every single person on the planet.
Damien: And what happens to those people if you give up? You're leaving 8 billion souls in a world where Thawne has everything that he wants and nothing to lose.
Barry: I'm still not fast enough.
Damien: Fast enough? How dense are you? Speed isn't the only thing that guides you through these things. It never is.
Barry: What else is there?
Damien: Love, you idiot! You're the paragon of it. I saw what you did in the Time Stone. You restarted an entire universe with love. This should be peanuts.
Barry: It's not gonna work. Not this time.
Damien: Really? Well, it's guiding the both of us right now. Why do you think I'm helping you? You think I want to die? I don't. But if sacrificing my life means that Nora gets to live the life that Thawne stole from her, then yeah, I'm gonna do it because my love for her is what keeps me going every damn day in my life. I mean, who do you think I built this whole empire for? Iris, your family, your friends, they are what keep you going.

Nora: [on the Waverider, Damien activates the Legends' trap] What is this?
Damien: I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it's for your own good.

Lt. Robert Maynard: I'm here for the pirate known as Blackbeard.
Blackbeard: I expect you'll be wanting to see me letter of mark.
Lt. Robert Maynard: A forgery, no doubt. Your letter will win no favor with me.
[the Darhks enter; Damien uses his powers to hold Amaya at bay]
Nora: [holding a pistol on Rory] I wouldn't so much as breathe if I were you.
Damien: Good evening, Ms. Jiwe.
[taking her totem]
Damien: They say the third time is a charm, but this charm is the third.

Damien: It's good to be back.
[glancing at his wrist]
Damien: Who stole my watch?

Nora: We were so close. My master was escaping his bonds. What happened?
Damien: Grodd's mission must have failed. Maybe that could be a good thing. It gives you and me time to figure out what the big guy's arrival really means.
Nora: It means the end of history. A chance for us to live as gods.
Damien: As gods? Man, that sounds fantastic and all. But what I just saw, it seems like there won't be a "you" anymore. It'll just be... him.
Nora: That's what we always wanted. Isn't it?
Damien: Totally. 100%. You know, I'm just gonna check on our grumpy gorilla and see how he screwed this thing up. I'll see you later.
Nora: No, you won't.
Damien: Of course. 'Cause once I complete Grodd's mission, you will be gone. What I meant to say was I'll see Mallus later.
[giving her a hug]
Damien: Goodbye, Nora doll.

Gideon: I tried to tell you coming here was a bad idea.
Ray: Who the heck is firing at us?
[cut to outside]
Damien: I want that ship brought down! Fire another volley!

News: In an historic ground-breaking ceremony, Tribal Chairman Thomas Rainwater annexed the land purchased for the Confederated Tribes of Broken Rock's ambitious hotel & casino project into the reservation. There are now questions about what, if any, authority the state will have over regulating the casino or monitoring the construction of what will be the largest hotel in the state.
Malcolm: Who's the contractor on this build?
Teal: I'll find out.
Malcolm: I thought we were pretty fucking clear with Mr. Jenkins.
Teal: Well evidently not.
Malcolm: We need to find a less subtle means of expressing our displeasure.
Teal: Can we bait that trap? I think it's time we spring it.

Karen: You planned this whole thing. The party... breaking into my house... my reaction. You're trying to get rid of me.
Dave: Yes... and I'm sorry it had to be you.
Karen: 'Cause I know you're up to something. Something awful.
Dave: You don't know what "awful" is. Well... you take care of yourself Karen. I mean that.

Nora: I underestimated you, Kuasa. You've brought us a valuable bargaining chip.
Kuasa: Uh-uh-uh. I want something in exchange. My grandmother's totem. It belongs to me.
Damien: You didn't actually think she was gonna hand that over to you, did you?
Nora: She's right.
Damien: You what?
Nora: The power of Mallus flows through me. I don't need some trinket. Besides, Kuasa has proven herself a loyal acolyte.

Damien: Honey bunny, listen...
Nora: Ugh.
Damien: Look, don't you know that I've only ever had your best interests at heart?
Nora: Was in my best interest or yours when you pushed a scared little girl into the arms of a demon?
Damien: Yeah, to bring us back together.
Nora: To bring you back to life!
Damien: What has gotten into you? I send you off on one lousy mission by yourself, and suddenly the...
[realizing]
Damien: Oh... of course. I should have known Ray Palmer would be a good influence on you.

Damien: [lifts Sara in the air with his magic] The very first thing I did in this reality was acquire my magic. I'm gonna miss you, Miss Lance. Having you around to attend to my every whim was too enticing to pass up. Plus, it's so hard to find good help these days.
Leonard: Really? Now's the time for a bad guy monologue?

Damien: So, do any of these flashing screens actually do anything?
Sara: Focus, Damien. How do we capture your demon daughter?
Rip: Uh, if we coordinate a strike between the Legends and the Time Bureau, we might be able to take her down.
Damien: How did that work for you in Victorian London? Besides, my little angel's only gotten more powerful since.
Rip: What if we just ask Nora nicely? I did have a bit of a connection with her in Berlin.
[seeing Damien's look]
Ray: Not that kind.

Damien: This is the great Malcolm Merlyn? I am unimpressed.
Eobard: Well, he's fallen on hard times. But this man used to be Ra's al Ghul. Uh, we haven't met. I'm Eobard Thawne. I'm... from the future.
Malcolm: What the hell is going on here?
Damien: Excellent question. Here's another - Do you believe in second chances?
Malcolm: I just watched you die.
Damien: Yeah, I hear 2016's not my best year, but I plan on fixing that.
Eobard: But the question for you, Malcolm, is: Do you wish to see your fortunes similarly reversed?
Malcolm: By time travel?
Eobard: No. No. Something much better.

Damien: You know, not that I couldn't watch Pompadour get punched out all day, but you could have just told him where we're going. Where are we going?
Ray: To right before Mallus took over Nora. And I can't tell anybody because we're not supposed to travel to events in which we've participated in.
Nate: I will punch through this door!
Damien: Huh. And no one on your team trusts me.
Ray: That goes without saying.

Damien: [narrating] My name is Damien Darhk. In 2016, I was murdered by the Green Arrow. But I was removed from the timeline 31 years before my death by a speedster from the future named Eobard Thawne. Together, with Malcolm Merlyn, a former head of the League of Assassins, the three of us are going to locate the Spear of Destiny; a mystical object which can rewrite reality itself. With the Spear in our possession, we will change our past and our future. And the world as you know it.

Damien: [trying to fight his past self and save Nora simulataneously] I got you. I won't let you fall.
Damien: This is why I'll never have kids. They make you weak.
[he fires his gun; future Damien deflects them, then focuses on Nora again]
Damien: Huh. Magic. I should look into that.

Damien: Hello, Iris.
Iris: Damien? If you're here, does that mean I'm dead too?
Damien: No, it doesn't. What happened to you is far more interesting than that. We have a lot to discuss.

Nate: Have you lost your complete mind?
Ray: Well... look... uh... Yeah. I know this looks bad.
Nate: Yeah.
Ray: But there's a... there's a completely rational explanation.
Nate: I'm listening.
Damien: Me, too.
Ray: [slugging Nate] Sorry.

Damien: What the hell was that?
Barry: We got what we wanted. Killing them wouldn't have been efficient. We can kill them later.
Damien: Huh.
[magically chokes Barry]
Damien: The Barry Allen I know wouldn't wait, which means you're not the Reverse-Flash, so... who are you? Don't make me ask you again. Who are you?
Barry: Thawne's the real Reverse-Flash. Erase me from the timeline at midnight.
Damien: [lets go of Barry] Man, he is good! I mean, that's like a work of evil art. The question is, what do I do with you?
Barry: You could still help me.
Damien: "Help me?" No, I'm the bad guy. I don't help heroes.

Damien: I assure you, this is completely unnecessary. I come, as they say, in peace.
Sara: And I, as they say, think you're full of crap.
Damien: I'm a changed man, Sara.
Sara: The only change I want to see you go through is from alive to dead.

Eobard: If you have something to say to me Malcolm, I suggest you keep it to yourself.
Malcolm: I'm sorry. Am I supposed to be afraid of you?
Eobard: Oh, I would be. Considering I can kill you before you even knew I was doing it.
Malcolm: Ah, yes. But then you wouldn't get what you want. You brought me and Damien into your little quest for a reason. Without the Medallion, Hunter is our only way to get rest of the Spear. You need me to get it out of him.
Damien: We already tried torture.
Malcolm: I'm not talking about torture. I'm talking about hypnosis. Regression therapy. Hunter's mind is locked away. I've got the key.

Damien: All right, tell me your plan.
Nora: We return to 1962 and convince Dr. Vogal that we're American agents there to help him. Then we jump straight back to this moment.
Damien: Oh, I'm sorry. "We"? Are you taking him?
Nora: Dr. Vogal needs to trust us fast, which means he needs a peer; someone who speaks nerd.
Damien: [growling] Hmm... You better come right back you two, you do you understand me? And use protection.
Nora: Ew.
[Damien hands her a gun, and she pulls Ray to his feet]
Ray: I think he's warming to me.

Damien: Oh, hi, guys. I do hope you're not feeling all killy-killy, stabby-stabby.
Sara: I want you to listen to me carefully. I don't believe for a second that you've changed. You're still the same cowardly son of a bitch that put an arrow in my sister. But I will work with you to defeat Mallus under one condition. After this is over, I'm putting you back in the ground where you belong.
Damien: Deal.

[viewing the crime scene of Leo Crow's murder]
Danny: I worked homicide before federal. This is what we call an orgy of evidence. You know how many orgies I had as a homicide cop?
Officer: How many?
Danny: None.
[crouches down and looks back up]
Danny: This was all arranged.

Timothy: [looks at Jim Morita while asking Captain America] What, are we taking everybody?
Jim: I'm from Fresno, Ace.

Sean: You got Judge Hopkins to let you start depositions on your malicious prosecution bullshit?
Harvey: He didn't think it was bullshit, which is why he's letting me start with your boyfriend Eric Woodall.
Sean: You trying to take my eye off the ball, Harvey?
Harvey: This is the ball, Sean. It's a wrecking ball, and it's headed your way

Ray: Okay, I have analyzed the shards. We'd have to go back to the Big Bang in order to get enough energy to reignite the Fire totem. That or invent cold fusion. And since that's not possible...
Damien: Yes, it is. Cold fusion was invented in 1962 by a German physicist named Bernhard Vogal.
Ray: Yeah, no. See, I'm kind of a science dork.
Damien: [to Nora] Kind of?
Ray: And if someone had invented cold fusion, let alone in 1962, I think I'd have heard of it.
Damien: Actually... there's a very good reason why you haven't. The reason you've never heard of Bernhard Vogal is because the most ruthless and efficient assassin the world has ever known made sure that no one ever did. Me.

Damien: Killing Vogal was one of my greatest hits.
Ray: Someone developed an energy source that could have replaced fossil fuels and essentially save the world?
Damien: While putting the oil industry out of business. Some very powerful people with some very deep pockets wouldn't stand for it, so they hired me. He was waiting for transfer, holed up in an East Berlin safe house, somewhat of a misnomer in this case when your old man got involved.
Ray: And you buried the secret to cold fusion?
Damien: And the man who created it.
Ray: Yeah, I know. That was implied.

Damien: Barry Allen, I was wondering when my old partner was gonna come back and say hello. I hope you've been laying low somewhere, relaxing.
Barry: I need your help again, Damien.
Damien: Yeah, of course you do. Whoa, hmm. You seem different. It seems like you're running on empty, old friend. What happened to you?
Barry: The Flash happened to me. Now I want payback.
Damien: Mm, I like where this is going. Spill your tragic tale.
Barry: Well, after you were arrested, I fought the Flash and beat him.
Damien: Yes!
Barry: But before I could drive a hand through his heart, he ran back in time, changed things so he'd won.
Damien: He created an anachronism.
Barry: Only it wasn't just one event. Thawne changed everything. Trying to stop him cost me my speed. Now we're living in a timeline he constructed for his own benefit.
Damien: Really? Well, that's downright villainous. Hm.
Barry: We need to put him down.
Damien: Yeah, we will, we will. You know, nobody gets to rig time except me, but fixing this won't be easy. If the Flash created multiple anachronisms, the only way to reset the timeline is to turn everything back at the same time which is why we need the PED.
Barry: The PED?
Damien: The PED. The Particle Eradicator Distributor, the thing that erases any type of matter. You yanked it out of Ray Palmer's cold dead hands.
Barry: Right. When you've killed as many people as I have, you start to lose track.
Damien: Huh. I sometimes forget... You're even darker than me, pun intended.

McTeal's: Look, if your strategy is to drag the church through the mud...
Robert: We have no agenda against the church. For every story you hear of misconduct, there are thousands of stories of good works.
Monsignor: Well, that's the first true thing you've said all day, detective.
Robert: You know, I was thinking, you know, an episcopalian priest can... well, they can have a wife, and a lutheran pastor, they can date a playmate. You have, uh, vows of chastity.
Monsignor: A vocation demands sacrifice.
Robert: Jeez, it must be... frustrating.
Monsignor: Temptation is a test that God gives all of us.
Robert: Well, it seems to be a test you're failing.
Monsignor: I'm no diferent from any other man. How about you, detective Goren? Any frailties of your own?
McTeal's: Look, we're within a minute of walking if we don't hear a charge.
Robert: You can... Love the church for their good works, or you can hate the church for their... Hypocrisy.
[impatient]
Robert: Tick tock. Ti- How much time do I have left? Go ahead. No. How much?
[to Monsignor]
Robert: But both sides agree... Thou shalt not kill.

Ray: Hi, Alan. Sorry, Alan.
Alan: What the hell, Ray? You quit. There's no takebacks in Upswipz.
Damien: Oh! You're the "up and down" guy. Me, I prefer side to side.
Alan: [with his powers, Damien throws him around the room] Our focus groups found up and down was more intuitive.
[Damien throws him back and forth between the ceiling and the floor]
Alan: Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait!
Damien: You know, he might be right.
Alan: We think it shifts the paradigm.
Nora: [to Ray] You have your lab. Now get to work, nerd.

Edie: Mrs. McCluskey, you're still alive!
Karen: It's nice to see you too, Edie. How long has it been? Five years?
Edie: This is my husband, Dave Williams.
Karen: [to Dave] So, how did you two meet? You run a free clinic or something?
Dave: I'm sorry, who are you?
Karen: Karen McCluskey, Edie's best friend on the street.

Sara: All right, maybe she'll listen to her dear old dad.
Damien: Not anymore. Nora only listens to Mallus now. He's always in her ear.
Ray: [getting an idea] That's it. What if I got inside Nora?
[seeing Damien's expression]
Ray: Not like that. What if I shrunk down, flew into her ear, and pretended to be Mallus?
Damien: Okay, new guy on the team here. Is that a joke plan or a real plan?
Ava: We are so screwed.

Damien: Is she right? Are you really planning something stupid?
Ray: Maybe. Probably. Most likely. But it could fix this whole thing, and get Nora back.

Damien: Okay, I didn't actually think you'd take me up on my offer, but after my warning, I thought you people would at least use the buddy system. But here you are, all alone, without your better half to give you at least a fighting chance.
Jefferson: You and your insufferable pontificating...
Damien: Wait, wait, wait, excuse me. Either someone got themselves a thesaurus, or...
Eleanor: [using her powers] He isn't who he appears to be. He's the old one.
Damien: [roaring with laughter] No. No. You guys switched bodies. Oh, that is rich.
[as he laughs, Jax and Hedy escape]
Eleanor: You need a minute?
Damien: [still laughing] No, I'm good. I'm good.
[he immediately stops and sighs]
Damien: Let's kill them.

Damien: Ah, that's the thing about Sara Lance, she never stays dead for very long.

Nora: Finally, the cage is breaking. I can feel his arrival.
Damien: [sarcastic] Oh, goody.

Damien: Never dance with the devil.

Damien: Frosty, Chill-lame. Yeah, I'm a little bit busy. But you do realize my abilities give me the power to draw and quarter with a gesture, right?
Chillblaine: [he tries to use his powers, but nothing happens] Mm, not for the next 24 hours, you don't.
Frost: Our friend John gave us a badass protection spell.
Damien: Constantine, I hate that guy.
Chillblaine: Yeah, well, too bad. Looks like we get to kick this guy's ass all night.
Frost: Won't even take that long.
Damien: Really? Let's see how that goes.

Damien: How'd it go with the missus?
Reverse: I don't know. She let me go. It has to mean something.
Damien: Well, let's do this thing. I'll stay here at your point of origin, just in case we get some visitors, but I'll be in touch.
Reverse: How?
Damien: Magic. You'll hear my voice wherever you go. Now, remember, you've got two minutes to reach Mach 20 and open that temporal portal.
Reverse: Damien, thank you.
Damien: [shaking hands] Get out of here.

Nate: Going somewhere, Raymond?
Ray: Uh... ha! No, no, of course not. Zari re-routed the time drive, so...
Nate: Yeah, Gideon just said someone re-rerouted it. What are you doing?
Ray: Well, Sara wanted the ship on lockdown, so...
Nate: So you decided to load Damien Darhk onto the jumpship?
Damien: Hey, Nate.
Ray: Don't wave.

Harvey: Sean, please. Gallo might not get out, and Mike's gonna be stuck in there with him.
Sean: Well, all the more reason he should put down his gun and walk out that fucking door.

Malcolm: We, however, can offer you something of real value.
Thomas: I'm breathless with anticipation.
Teal: Slots.
Malcolm: Only available through our leasing company.
Thomas: Extorting a public official in his office. With three witnesses... How convenient for me.
Teal: Well, we are not obligated to lease out equipment to anyone, Chairman, we're simply offering you our expertise.

Chester P. Runk: Now, this is epic.
[imitating an echo]
Chester P. Runk: Epic, epic.
Cecile: Wow, I don't know what's more impressive. This place or us.
Iris: Us, definitely.
Mia: I haven't been in a place this swank since my debutante days.
Barry: Well, we have the place to ourselves tonight. And since Thawne's at A.R.G.U.S. and Despero's finally gone...
Iris: For good, it seems like.
Barry: I figured we deserved a night off.
Mia: Look, about me going evil and trying to kill you all...
Cecile: Already forgiven. We're just glad to have the real Mia back. And that, beautiful people, is it for shop talk.
Caitlin: Yes, absolutely. I think we've had enough of aliens and evil speedsters.
Damien: Does that go for evil magicians, too?
Mia: [drawing a knife and putting it to his throat] I know what you did to Laurel Lance, Damien Darhk. How about I return the favor?
Damien: By all means, go for it. I thought I'd be a dead man by now, anyway.
Mia: [withdrawing the weapon] I need a drink. A real one.

Rip: Can I help you?
Malcolm: Looking for John dutton.
- Yeah, who's looking for John dutton?
- We don't know you.
- What the fuck is this guy up to?
- Hey, step back.

Sean: Eric, obviously these allegations are crazy.
Eric: Of course they are.
Sean: So just... prove it to 'em you've got nothing to hide.
Eric: [cornered] This is ridiculous. I-I-I am not gonna dignify... I'm your boss.
Sean: [to Harvey, Mike and Louis] Gentlemen, give me a minute.
Louis: Yep.
Mike: [to Woodall] By a minute, he means ten to fifteen years.
Harvey: [also to Woodall] In about a half an hour, you're gonna need a really good lawyer. When that happens, don't call me.

Timothy: Wait. You know what you're doing?
Steve: Yeah. I knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.

Damien: If we combine the PED and my Time Stone, any anachronisms on that temporal plane will be erased.
Barry: So this could work.
Damien: Oh, it gets so much better. After my arrest, they confiscated the PED. Guess where it ended up.
[cut to S.T.A.R. Labs]

Damien: Mr. Capone... It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Al: I cancelled tickets to the opera, 'cause I heard there was new players in town. No one told me it was Halloween.
Eobard: Well, it's more like Christmas.
Damien: That's - I like that, that's very good.

Malcolm: Don't you want to have your lawyer present?
John: This don't feel like a lawyer meeting.
Teal: I saw your son go against Peabody Coal before the Senate. He's one hell of a litigator.
John: Yeah, he can argue with the best of them. So, what's this problem?
Malcolm: A casino in this valley will have a negative affect on our business. Your ranch and the others.
Teal: In five years, how many ranches like this can afford to exist?
Malcolm: Wanna hear our guess. Soon as that casino opens, they'll approach the Forest Service for land lease. And they'll build a ski resort.
Teal: And you know as well as anyone, ski resorts are daggers to the heart for places like this.
Malcolm: It'll be an ocean of second homes in ten years.
John: I'm aware.
Malcolm: I'm sure you are. Look, my office has no authority over an Indian casino.
Teal: And yours has no authority over the land. And your new AG can't restrict them. That's why we need to fight this outside the lines, Mr. Dutton. And we just don't think they got the stomach for that.
John: Yeah, well they have the stomach for it. I don't need partners, fellas.
Teal: Dan Jenkins has a partner. A big one.
Malcolm: Think of us as allies. We'd be the perfect allies for each other, John. Because there is no part of your business that benefits ours. And vice versa.
Teal: And when we fight, it's a zero-sum game. We will win. At any cost.
John: Yeah.
Malcolm: John... we just want you to consider it.
John: I consider every option, Malcolm. And I choose the one that's best for my family. If it helps you, it's a coincidence.
Rip: That's not the way you wear one of those.
Jamie: Working with them is a deal with the devil, Dad.
John: All the angels are gone, son. There's only devils left.

Nora: Is all of this just a game to you? Because I feel like I'm the only one taking any of this seriously.
Damien: Well, since my Time Stone still works, we're gonna do things my way. We're gonna bring the good doctor back to 2018 and torture him until he talks.
Nora: Torture isn't the answer.
Damien: [Ray is surprised] Says who?
Nora: He knows his secret is the only way he'll ever see his daughter again, because unlike some fathers, he values his family more than himself.

Ryan: Hey, do you know how much longer until my new look is ready? I'm gonna look so good kicking bad-guy butt.
Chester P. Runk: I'm just making some, uh, last-minute tweaks.
[his computer chirps]
Chester P. Runk: Okay. Okay, good to go. Now we can hunt some tachyons.
Ryan: [watching the algorithm work] Well, it's working. According to these readings, there's a pocket of negative tachyons in this room.
Damien: [magically choking them] You had to ruin the surprise, didn't you? You find the PED. I'll take care of these two. Hello, boys.
[they try to fight]
Damien: Ah, ah, ah.
Barry: [looking around and seeing a pinball machine] Of course.
Damien: Ooh, Tupac, what an artist.
Barry: [finding the PED] I've got it.
Damien: Already? Wow, you and I, what a team.
[they're both affected by a high-pitched whining]
Cecile: [wearing the Medusa Mask] Hurts, doesn't it? Well, so will this.

Damien: Oh, you brought arrows to a gun fight.
Green: What guns?
[turns on magnetic arrow taking the A.R.G.U.S. agents' guns]
Damien: Oh, that was actually pretty clever. Kill them.