The Best Nelson Nash Quotes

Nelson: [after Blade asks Willie to the school dance] Think I'm gonna let some twip take my girl?
[raising his fist, he lowers it as a teacher passes by]
Nelson: Relax. You're saved. For now.

Willie: Hit 'em where it hurts.
Nelson: [the Golem crushes his car] No! Not the car!

Max: Killer move, Corey. How'd you peg it?
Corey: Gotta go with your instincts.
Terry: Good instincts. You just bagged the all-time high score.
Corey: Yes!
Max: No fair. You musta logged a gazillion hours on that game.
Corey: Maybe more. But for the first time, I really felt it, you know? Like I actually was a Sentry of the Last Cosmos.
[bumping into Nelson]
Corey: Ahh! Hey, watch it!
Nelson: Or what? You gonna bop me with a flaming sword? Get a life.

Nelson: Not for the stiff. What do you need to contact a dead guy for? Wouldn't you rather have a live one... Like me?
[Girls move the Ouija board to "No"]
Chelsea: The board has spoken, creep!
[the girls laugh]
Nelson: Oh yeah?
[Nelson kicks the board away]
Nelson: Well, now Nelson has spoken.

Falseface: [posing as a Customs agent] Anything to declare?
Nelson: Yeah. Saint Denis parties hardy.
Falseface: I meant do you have any restricted items in your possession?
Nelson: [placing his bag on the table] Peg it. I got nothing to hide.
Falseface: [finding a vial of green liquid] What's this?
Nelson: Jeez, how'd that get in there?
Falseface: You tell me.
Nelson: Well, I don't know. Someone must have stuck it in at the airport. You know, like when I went to the bathroom.
Falseface: You let this bag out of your sight?
Nelson: I had to. The stall was too small. I was desperate. You gotta believe me. I've never seen it before in my life. Honest.
Falseface: [after a moment of consideration] Go on. Next time, Mr. Nash, keep a closer eye on your bags.

Willie: I never understood why you liked to pick on the weaker kids, Nelson. Until now.
Nelson: It's not fair. You have powers. I don't stand a chance.
Willie: Okay. If that's how you want to play it. Mano a mano. No powers.
[they brawl, with Willie eventually blocking a punch telekinetically]
Willie: Well, maybe just a little power.

Nelson: What's your name, doll?
Cynthia: I don't know.
Nelson: First-day jitters, huh? Hill High can be friendly, if you've got the right friends.
Cynthia: No, thanks. I'm only interested in him.
Howard: Excuse me, Nelson. She's out of your league.
Nelson: Your friend got a name, Groote?
Howard: Synth... thia. Gotta run.
Nelson: [to his friends] No way a nimbus like Groote deserves a schway babe like that. I'm gonna have to put him in his place.

Nelson: I'm sick of the mall. How about a ride?
Blade: You like that car more than me.
Nelson: Who's talkin' about cars?

Terry: Lay off him, Nash. Don't you have anything better to do?
Nelson: You think I'm afraid of you, McGinnis?
Terry: I don't know. Are you?
Nelson: [glares at Terry then turns to Willie] He's not worth it.
[Turns to Terry]
Nelson: But you are, McGinnis. Someday.

Ms. Pinto: Each of your eggbabies has a built-in computer, which registers the amount of care or lack of care it's given. These readings will determine your grades.
[Nelson tickles his, and it giggles]
Ms. Pinto: As you can see, the babies exhibit a wide range of emotions and expressions of need. It's your job to fulfill those needs.
Nelson: Ms. Pinto, what happens if we drop it?
Ms. Pinto: [demonstrating] You fail.
[Blade accidentally nudges hers off the desk; as Terry catches it, it begins crying]
Ms. Pinto: They're babies, Mr. McGinnis. You must be gentle with them.
Terry: How do I turn it off?
Ms. Pinto: You can't. But you can quiet it down by rocking it, just like a real baby.
Nelson: Yeah, McGinnis, get with the program.

Nelson: You had your fun. Now get real. Blade's too hot for a twip like you. Be smart and step aside.
Willie: No.
Nelson: I'm tryin' to be generous here, Watt.
Willie: I don't need your generosity.
Nelson: Yeah, you do.

Nelson: Something's wrong. He's not eating. Why isn't he eating?
Terry: Maybe because you're trying to feed him through his nose.

Nelson: Come on, baby, you know I care about you. I thought you were right behind me.
Blade: I was. By about a hundred feet. Big, brave Nelson. I might as well go to the dance with a twip like Willie Watt.
[bumping into Willie]
Blade: Uhh! Willie!

Nelson: Fold, dreg. I got you beat.
Terry: Funny, you remind me of a Joker I met this morning. Except he was prettier.
[Nelson spits on his neck, and Terry punches him in retaliation]
Dana: [watching them fight] Oh, boy. Not again.
Coach: [breaking them apart] That's in, McGinnis. Get your clothes and get out.
Terry: But he just...
Coach: But nothing. I saw you throw the first punch. Out!

Chelsea: Nelson! What took so long?
Nelson: Some jerk in Customs gave me the third degree.
Terry: Looks like he was thorough.
[Chelsea and Dana giggle at seeing Nelson's polka-dotted boxers sticking out of his bag]
Nelson: McGinnis. What are you doing here?
Terry: Just along for the ride.
Nelson: [thrusting his bag into Terry's chest] Here. Make yourself useful.

Nelson: Schway party, Howard. It takes real guts to blow up your own home.
Blade: Yeah, kids are gonna talk about this night for years. You're a legend.

Max: Here's the bio and civics.
Nelson: Thanks, hon. How about the math?
Max: It's coming. Stop nagging.
Terry: I get it. You're doing his homework so you don't have to take care of the baby.
Max: We opted for the traditional marriage: one breadwinner, one homemaker.
Nelson: Beats algebra.