The Best The Beverly Hillbillies, Season 3, Episode 25 Quotes

Lester: I thought you said Jethro was a light eater.
Jed: He is. He commences eatin' the minute it gets light.

Jane: You sit down. I shall serve you the food and we'll discuss our future.
Jethro: Our what?
Jane: Oh there are plans to be made, dear boy. For example, when shall we have our nuptials?
Jethro: Well, let's have 'em with the biscuits and red eye gravy.

Jane: Soon I shall be cooking for you all the time.
Jethro: You will?
Jane: Of course. Three meals a day.
Jethro: I ain't cuttin' down to three meals a day! No ma'am! Uh-uh! Not me! No!

Jane: [reading Granny's recipe for biscuits] Into one whole heap of flour, stir 2 middlin' amounts of buttermilk and a smidgen of... I don't understand.
Jed: Well, them is mountain measurements. A smidgen is just a teensy little bit, just like that. 3 smidgens makes one pinch. 4 pinches equals one little bit. 4 little bits equals one middlin' amount. 3 middlin' amounts equals one right smart and it takes 5 right smarts to make a whole heap.

Daisy: Elly honey, run up to the house and fetch us a jug. A body's throat gets a little dry singin' harmony.

Jed: How are you boys?
Lester: Good to see you, Jed.
Earl: Just dandy. How are you?
Jed: Oh, twixt grass and hay.

Jethro: Please don't cry, Miss Jane. Your biscuits are better'n mine. Leastwise they's softer. And your gravy smells just scrumptious.
Jane: The gravy is good?
Jethro: Well I betcha it would be if I could get it outta the bowl. It sure did set up fast.

Jed: By doggies, if you three don't go together like pone, side meat, and sorghum.

Jed: She looks sadder'n a hog in a dried-up mud hole.