50 Best The Expendables 2 Quotes

[Lee's cell phone rings]
Barney: [mockingly] "Hello, darlin'."
Lee: Hello, darlin'.

Barney: Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, who deserves to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die keep on living? What's the message in that?

Trench: [Church pulls up in a SmartCar] My shoe is bigger than this car.
Church: Shoot something!

Lee: [dressed as a priest] By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife.

Lee: [Billy is running up the hill] Remember when you could do that?
Barney: No, do you?

Barney: I got an idea. And your ego, I think you're gonna love it.
Lee: My ego?
Barney: Your ego.
Lee: What do you mean, my ego?
Barney: You've got a big ego.
Lee: Well, check your ego out.
Barney: Oh, please. Your ego is like the size of a dinosaur. Huge.

Maggie: I can get him to talk, and without so much effort.
[opens a large manicure/pedicure kit]
Lee: What's she gonna do, give him a pedicure?

Vilain: You wanna kill me like a man? Or you wanna kill me like a sheep? So. What's it going to be? Man or sheep?
Barney: You wanna man up? I'll man you up.

Barney: I've heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?
Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

Barney: That's how we deal with death. We can't change what it is, so we keep it light until it's time to get dark. And then we get pitch black.

[as Yang leaves]
Gunner: Who am I gonna pick on?
Yin: You find some other minority.

Trench: I'll be back.
Church: You've been back enough. I'll be back.
[leaves]
Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.

Vilain: [after kicking Barney down] Over so soon? I want my money's worth! Come on! Get up!
Barney: Coming right up.
[Barney attempts to rise, but Vilain kicks him down again]
Vilain: Going back down.

Trench: [to Booker] Who's next? Rambo?

Church: What's taking so long, Barney Ross? This should have been a walk in the park for you guys. Where's the case?
Barney: Don't have it.
Church: I warned you what would happen to you mutts if you pulled this shit again.
Barney: A good man died trying to get that case.
Church: I'm sorry about that.
Barney: Are you?
Church: Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. But this sort of situation comes with the territory, wouldn't you say?
Barney: And so does payback. You know, Church, you're the kind of guy that pulls the strings, and everyone else does your dirty work 'cause you never had the guts to do it yourself. We're done.

Barney: [to Maggie's first show of skills] You got guts... No common sense...

Barney: I thought you were the Lone Wolf.
Booker: Sometimes, it's fun to run with the pack.

Hector: [shoots a tired mine worker] Anybody else tired?

Hale: Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

Lee: Hey, I'd hate to break up the bromance. We're twenty seconds late!

Pilar: Who you are?
Barney: We're Americans.
Lee: Since when?
Gunner: Swedish.
Hale: Blackfoot.
Maggie: Chinese.
Toll: Retards.
Barney: [to Toll Road] You done?

Vilain: Now we know where it is. Right. Right.
Hector: Okay. I know what to do.
Vilain: Good, I want the plutonium out in three days.
Hector: Three days?
Vilain: I have people ready to pay four million a kilo now. Three days.

Vilain: Respect is everything. Without respect, we are just people. Common, shitty people.
Bill: [to Ross] I'm sorry, sir.
Barney: It's not your fault... Now what?
Vilain: We are both fighting men. And I respect that. But fighting men, they don't deserve to be killed like sheep. But, respect... must be taught.

Vilain: Don't challenge me.

Lee: [while the Sangs are attacking the Expendables] Can you hold them off?
Barney: Yeah, maybe with a tank.
[the Sangs appear with a tank]
Barney: Oh, shit.
Lee: What?
Barney: They've got a tank.

Barney: [seeing their new plane] That thing belongs in a museum.
Trench: We all do.

Church: Did you win?
Barney: I think so.
Trench: Well, where's the proof?
Barney: [Pulls out Vilain's head in a bag] Heads up.
[Chucks head onto the ground]
Trench: Nice touch.

Trench: I need a weapon. Something big.
[looks at Caesar's gun]
Trench: Yours.
Hale: Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin' right where it is.
Barney: Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.
[Caesar reluctantly hands over his gun]
Hale: If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.
Trench: In your dreams.

Gunner: [as Yang and the Chinese millionaire jump out of the plane] Now that's some real Chinese take out.

Barney: Rest in pieces.

Lee: You're not doing what I think you're doing.
Barney: Yeah, I am.
Lee: Let's do it!
[Barney intentionally rams and crash lands his plane into the plutonium mine, Maggie nearly falls out and Gunnar saves her]
Lee: You're gonna need a new plane.

Gunner: Booker. You're the one people call the Lone Wolf?
Booker: I've been called that. But I have mellowed.
Barney: [looks at the Sang soldiers Booker just killed] Not that much.

Vilain: [to Billy] Are you afraid of me?
Bill: No, I'm not.
Vilain: You should be.
[Hector quickly props a knife against Billy's chest and Vilain kicks it into his chest]

Toll: [eating some bad food] Oh. This tastes like shit.
[to Caesar]
Toll: How's yours?
Hale: Can't complain about rigatoni. Plan ahead, fellas. That's all I have to say. Y'all, what if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? What would your last meal be? One choice.
Toll: One choice?
Hale: It'd probably be cereal for you, huh?
Toll: What the hell's wrong with cereal?
Gunner: It's cliché.
Hale: You gotta be original. You know, if you were an original, broad-thinking man, you'd probably come up with some special cereal, like Earios. You know, just like your ear. You know, pour milk on them suckers, they just lay there and you don't hear shit.
Toll: For the record, my hearing is 20/20.
Hale: Barney?
Barney: Donuts and most food that kills ya.
Hale: That's deep, man.
Barney: [chuckles] You think so?
Hale: Maggie?
Maggie: Crispy aromatic duck with plum sauce. Very sexy.
[short pause]
Maggie: But I like Italian, too.
Hale: I'm starting to think Italian's overrated.
[everyone laughs]
Gunner: Hey. What about me? My favorite Swedish dinner would be, baby seal, and whale ass, in the summer.
[to Maggie]
Gunner: But I'd really die for some Chinese.
Barney: Then you're gonna starve to death.
[everyone laughs]

[from trailer]
Trench: I'm back!

Maggie: Can I ask you something?
Barney: Sure, go ahead.
Maggie: Why are you so nervous around me?
Barney: I don't get nervous, Maggie.
Maggie: Then what is it?
Barney: I just like keeping a distance.
Maggie: Is it because you don't want to know anymore people?
Barney: Let's just say bad things have happened to people I've gotten close to.
Maggie: Not a good way to live.
Barney: [nods] I know.

Hale: [driving around abandoned war-torn streets] This is weird.
Gunner: It's like home.

Barney: [to Maggie after killing Vilain] You know how to carve a turkey?

Barney: What are you doing here?
Booker: Moving on. You killed all my business.

Gunner: I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.
Lee: What's he doing?
Barney: Probably making a bomb.
Lee: You serious?
Barney: Ask him.
Lee: What you doing, Gunner?
Gunner: I'm making a bomb. You mind?
Barney: A maniac with brains.
Lee: Scary.

Lee: What's the plan?
Barney: Track him, find him, kill him.

Lee: Beware, beware, walk with care / Care for what you do / Or mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Mumbo jumbo's gonna hoo-doo you / Boom-lay, boom-lay, boom-lay boom!

Maggie: [to Ross] If you need me, call me, or you're dead.

Barney: Trench?
Trench: Oh, this is embarrassing.
Barney: Yeah, it sure is.
Lee: What's he doing here?
Trench: Saving this Chinese billionaire.
Barney: Oh, yeah? That's funny. So are we.
Trench: Well, then we have a scheduling problem, don't we?
[to Gunner]
Trench: Cut me loose, Frankenstein.
Barney: Don't get nuts, Gunner. Do it.

Gunner: [the bomb's fuse goes out] Well, the phosphorus must have been damp.
Lee: Yeah, right.
Toll: Or you suck.
Hale: There's that.
Maggie: Don't cry, Gunner.
Barney: You almost had an idea.

[last lines]
Lee: From one friend to another...
Barney: What?
Lee: You really need to learn how to fight.

Vilain: You must want to hurt me bad.
Barney: I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm gonna take your life.

Vilain: Imagine if 6 pounds of pure plutonium is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. So, imagine what 5 tons would do.

Vilain: Ironic. Here we are, you and I. And your knife. You're going to die. Like him. What his name? What did you call him? What does it matter?
Barney: Come on, Vilain. Somebody's dying. Come on, Vilain. Come on, Vilain. Come on!
[whips Vilian with a large chain then beats him. Barney picks up his knife]
Barney: Get up, Vilain. Get up. Now turn around. Turn around, sheep.
Vilain: Now what?
[Barney throws the chain around Vilain's neck, pulls him toward his knife and stabs it into Vilain's stomach]
Barney: His name was Billy.

Barney: Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through this.
Lee: Of course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?
Barney: She cheated on you.
Lee: It was a half-cheat.
Barney: Which is?
Lee: The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.
Barney: Murky. I hate to break this to you, pal, but your girlfriend over there has a world-class cheating gene.
Lee: I should stab you in the heart.
Barney: Too late.