30 Best Beck Bennett Quotes

Mrs. Beakley: Apple shortbread pie with a scoop of sea-salt ice cream, a common farewell dessert in certain parts.
Dewey: [excited] Finally some real food.
Mrs. Beakley: [Mrs. Beakley takes back the pie] Ooh, I'm so sorry! This was Scrooge's favourite dessert, I don't want to remind you of that horrid man who lost your mother all those years ago. Even if it was an accident that tore him up for ten years propelling him into a desperate search that left him broken and nearly bankrupt.
Louie: [shocked] Wait, bankrupt? Really?
Mrs. Beakley: But I understand. You're upset because you lost one family member. Which was terrible and painful, so you decided you should go ahead and lose another. Brilliant. Makes perfect, rational sense.
Dewey: Yeah, nailed it Mrs. B.
Mrs. Beakley: Yes, distance yourself even further from his life and forsake family altogether. That will *definitely* fix it.
Launchpad: No, it will do the opposite of that!
Mrs. Beakley: Perhaps it's worth considering that the reason Scrooge closed himself off was because the loss of Della was the hardest thing he ever faced. Harder than any adventure. It's not that he didn't care, it's that he cared about family more than anything in the world. And perhaps he still does. But, I'm just the housekeeper, what do I know?
Launchpad: A LOT! THIS LADY KNOWS A LOT!

Launchpad: [about goggles] Wow, these are pretty expensive. You sure I need these?
Salesman: That depends. Do you want your eyes to freeze out of your head?
Launchpad: That would make flying harder.

Lance: [going over the song list given to Ash by Buster Moon] Man, these are like the cheesiest songs of all time!
Ash: I know right? I mean, I was thinking of writing my own song instead.
Lance: Wait, what? Your own song?
Ash: Well... Yeah.
Lance: Look, if you wanna win that money... Just do what the koala says.
Ash: Why, you think I can't write my own song?
Lance: Hey, I'm just saying. Not everyone can write songs, okay? I may make it look easy, babes, but no it's not!

Dewey: You guys, our family is awesome!
Launchpad: Aw, family is truly the greatest adventure of... oh no, the ground!
[plane crashes]

Launchpad: So, what's this big date?
Fenton: Not a date.
Launchpad: Right, of course. But if it was, I say it good to see you find that special someone. And someone can be many things: A friend, a confidant, a deadly ninja, a forbidden mermaid, a were-duck, a clone of yourself...
[Launchpad pulls up to where Fenton should meet Gandra]
Launchpad: A viking shield maiden, a talking cloud of energy that one time...

Scrooge: Make a list: four oxygen tanks, two pressure gauges, a pilot...
Launchpad: I'm a pilot!
Scrooge: ...a week's provisions, an experimental deep-sea sub...
Launchpad: I'm a pilot!
Mrs. Beakley: And one secretary for an old man who seems to have forgotten that I am NOT his secretary!

Launchpad: I didn't get to be Junior Woodchuck Scoutmaster by bending the rules - I got it by crashing the bus on a field trip and all the other scoutmasters quitting!

Lance: [singing and strumming his guitar] I won't sell out for nobody, won't follow no fool.
Ash: Would you stop? I'd only be doing it for us.
Lance: [chuckles] Oh, really?
Ash: Yes, really. If I won that money, we could build our own recording studio, start our own label. I mean, the whole world would get to hear your songs.
Lance: [singing] I'm not listening to my girlfriend.
[Ash groans]
Lance: Cuz she just wants to sell out.

Louie: I am so, so sorry!
Mrs. Beakley: [annoyed] This will be good.
Louie: I thought I had a foolproof get-rich-quick plan, but it turns out I was the fool. Can you guys ever forgive me?
Mrs. Beakley: [sigh] Okay.
Webbigail: Oh, you know we can. We always do.
Dewey: You know it's fine, classic Louie!
Huey: Of course, bring it in.
[Everyone but Della forms a group hug around Louie]
Scrooge: I'm sure you learned... something.
Della: No. Not this time.
Louie: What? But I really am sorry! We hugged and everything!
Della: I watched your brothers blink out of existence because you wanted a shortcut to riches!
Louie: I said I was sorry!
Della: You took off in that contraption without thinking about the consequences, or the people you would hurt!
Louie: [annoyed] ... I wonder who I got that from.
[everyone gasps]
Launchpad: Oh...
Mrs. Beakley: See here, young man!
Della: Your little scheme to bypass the present almost cost us our future, this all stops now! You are grounded! No schemes, no treasures, and Louie Incorporated is *done*, understand?
Louie: [desperate] Look, let me clean up, okay? Uncle Scrooge? Mrs. B? Come on!
Della: To your room!

Dewey: [after learning the truth about Della's disappearance; bitterly] Cool, so you're the reason our mom is gone!
Scrooge: [stammers] What? No! I... I...
[the Sunchaser starts to tip]
Launchpad: Um, guys?
Dewey: You built her a crazy dangerous super rocket!
Scrooge: Which she stole early!
Huey: Then you encouraged her to keep flying in a cosmic storm? You could have called her down! There were too many variables!
Mrs. Beakley: Now boys, you don't know...
Louie: And you're the richest duck in the world! Why didn't you send up more ships to look for her?
Scrooge: I spared no expense!
Dewey: [coldly] Yeah, right. Cheap old Scrooge probably bailed as soon as it put a dent in his money bin.
[the Sunchaser teeters some more]
Launchpad: Um, guys?
Webby: Take it easy, Dewey. He may have a point. Even if gifting an experimental rocket to a mother of three was clearly a terrible idea!
Scrooge: This is a family matter! You are not family!
[Webby stares at him, on the verge of tears]
Mrs. Beakley: [defensively] See here, McDuck. You will not speak to my granddaughter that way.
Scrooge: You will not speak to ME that way! None of you! After everything I do for you, you're all nothing but trouble!
Launchpad: Guys! This is your captain speaking, we are FALLING!
Dewey: WAIT WHAT?
[the Sunchaser falls as everyone screams. The fall isn't too high and the aeroplane survives]
Launchpad: Huh, that was weird.
[crashes into a canyon wall]
Launchpad: Phew, there we go!

Scrooge: We leave for the temple in an hour, Launchpad. I won't wait another fifty years to hear that cricket sing.
Launchpad: Sure thing, Mister McD. I was just going to swing over and visit an old girlfriend from these parts. See, she's had some problems with a local crime family...
Scrooge: Yes, fine, whatever. One hour!
Launchpad: [under his breath, determined] I'm coming for you, Ziyi...

Ambrosius: I tried to stop him, bro.
Sir: Really? Like this? Oh hi Ballister. Come right in. And of course you can bring your whale, ostrich, and big fat unicorn.
Ambrosius: Fat unicorn?
Sir: Yeah, you saw it. The thing with the horn that broke everything.
Ambrosius: You mean rhinoceros?
Sir: If I meant rhinoperos, I would have said rhinoperos.

Mrs. Beakley: That was a surprisingly suspenseful twist. Put the next tape in.
Launchpad: [forlorn] No can do. The show was canceled before the finale.
Mrs. Beakley: [distraught] But, but what happens next? They can't just end the show like that! I have to know what happens!
Launchpad: Uh, I have a few theories which I put into a fan script.
[pulls script out from his jacket and hands it over for Mrs. Beakley to read]
Launchpad: See, with the help of his new best friend and pilot Launchpad, Darkwing...
Mrs. Beakley: [stands up] We. Must. Film. This.
Launchpad: Whoo-hoo!

Launchpad: [about Scrooge] Uh... Is he okay?
Mrs. Beakley: He's... strategizing. Everything's fine. Sure, we had an army before, and now there's only an elite squad of five...
Duckworth: Four. I've decided you're doomed. My time would be better served preparing your places in the afterlife. Cheerio.
[exits through the floor]
Mrs. Beakley: Not reassuring that he went *down* instead of up.

Grayson: All I drink is brandy! My urethra is on fire!

Dewey: Launchpad, you okay?
Launchpad: I went to the future. I've seen how the world ends... It was neat! See you there soon!

Jim: [threatening Darkwing with a Chainsaw] Show's over Deadmeat Duck!
Launchpad: Stop! You're not a villain, you're a hero! *Our* hero! No matter how hopeless things got, Darkwing Duck got back up and did what was right. For Darkwing Duck is bigger than one man, he is the hope that flaps in the night!
Scrooge: The may be the most eloquent Launchpad has ever been.
Dewey: He knows a lot about this one thing.

Tobias: And I recognize you from somewhere, but it's not from the Fantastic Four. It's from somewhere else.
Debrie: I've done some things I'm not proud of.
Tobias: Episodics? Been there.
Narrator: It wasn't episodic.
[flashback to a bedroom film set with a visible boom mike and actors reading off cue cards]
Narrator: She had been in a series of softcore porn movies about women leading straight men into gay sex called "Straightbait".
Debrie: This is my brother. He's gay. If you want to have sex with me, then you've got to have sex with him first.
'Gay': And if you don't want to have sex with her, you must be gay.
'Straight': [interrupts] I'll show you I'm not gay I am.
[all three begin to undress]
Narrator: She did six of these movies,
[they get onto the bed in a triangle arrangement, which eventually causes it to break]
Narrator: and after lunch, did three more.

Scrooge: Launchpad, have you ever piloted a sub before?
Launchpad: I sunk a helicopter in a wave pool once. Same thing?
Scrooge: ...I've done more with less.

Webby: [over walkie talkie] Dewey, this is crazy! The mystery is not worth it!
Louie: [over walkie talkie] I... I get it but you can't give up the rest of us to find the one person we lost!
Launchpad: [over walkie talkie] Dewey, the Darkwing Duck video is still running! Do you want me to pause it until you get back?
Huey: [over walkie talkie] Gimme that! Dewey, our family is amazing! We're enough, let it go!

Donald: Everybody listen up! Uncle Scrooge is in trouble and it's up to us to help him!
Launchpad: [Everyone looks at each other in confusion, not making out what Donald said] What?
Launchpad: Did anyone get any of that?
Huey: It's mostly context clues.
Louie: We get like every third word.
Dewey: Nope, completely unintelligible.
Donald: I'll show you unintelligible!
[chases Dewey]

Steelbeak: [noticing that Launchpad is laughing] What are you laughing at?
Launchpad: This lighthouse has a bit of a rodent problem.
Steelbeak: Huh?
[Ranger Plane flies in and Gadget fires off some electric cables which wrap around his metallic beak and shock him unconscious]
Launchpad: Thanks for the rescue.
[Launchpad signals the Rescue Rangers and Gadget signals back before the Ranger Plane flies off]

Launchpad: That is not Darkwing Duck! DW'd never hurt innocent people or set the city on fire. Not on purpose.

Mrs. Beakley: Now let's toast to a fond farewell meal, topped with a dash of perspective.
Dewey: So this whole thing was to guilt us into going back to the mansion? Well it's not gonna work! Sorry, but it's too late. We're going to Cape Suzette with our real family, and that's that. Right, Uncle Donald?
Donald: No. Mrs. B's right. Uncle Scrooge needs us, and we need him. Our family has been apart too long. It's time for us to come together. Come here, boys.
[Huey and Louie rush to Donald's arms for a family hug]
Dewey: Wha-wha-wait! But the spear! And mom! And... and.
[Dewey crosses his arms and tries to hold back tears. Donald signal's to him it's okay, Dewey smiles and rushes into the family hug]
Launchpad: Family...
Webbigail: Trapped!

[the McDuck family and Glomgold are transported to a mystical realm while golfing]
Huey: [commentating] Welcome back to the Billionaires' Club Classic, where in a bizarre turn of events, the players have become trapped in some sort of mystical fairy realm. But they remain undeterred.
Launchpad: [commntating] For more, we go to two tiny horses.
Huey: What are you... Augh!
[Two kelpies walk up to the group]
Briar: Greetings! We're Briar and Bramble, the keepers of this realm.
Webbigail: Talking animals wearing clothes!
Dewey: Oh no, did we die? Are we in Webby heaven?

Mrs. Beakley: Webby. Launchpad. A word? This is a parent trap, isn't it? You're trying to manufacture sentiment to force Scrooge and the boys to come together against their wills. I want in.
Webbigail: Really?
Mrs. Beakley: if this family won't come together, we'll have to do it for them. I assume you invited Scrooge?
Webbigail: Yeah, but he's running late.
Mrs. Beakley: Okay, I'll get the boys and Donald emotionally primed while we wait. I'm a former agent and a grandmother, I know how to weaponize guilt.

Launchpad: Aw, cool! A big-budget reboot of a thing I loved as a kid! Those are always great! Is Darkwing's motorcycle in it? Is he still a noble hero who gets back up and fights for right, no matter what evil throws at him? You're keeping the theme song, right?

Salesman: Big strapping guy like you must be prepared for ice fever, right?
Launchpad: You bet!... What is that?

Darkwing: Well, there's still no sign of Starling, the movie's ruined, I lost my big break, my hero tried to kill me, and oh, I blew him up. What am I gonna do now?
Launchpad: What Darkwing Duck always does. Get back up. You know, you could do this for real.
Darkwing: What? Be a superhero? I mean, sure. I'm scrappy, I'm brave, I look great in the cape.
Launchpad: Gizmoduck does it.
Darkwing: I am better than Gizmoduck.
Launchpad: It's one thing to play a hero, and it's another to actually be a hero. Do it for Jim.
Darkwing: ...I dunno, this whole thing sounds like it could get...
Launchpad: Dangerous?
[Darkwing looks at Launchpad and puts on his hat]
Launchpad: You already got one fan.
[Launchpad holds out his Darkwing poster for him to sign. Darkwing writes "Drake Mallard"]
Launchpad: Drake Mallard. Never heard of ya.

Launchpad: Hey, if those are mummies, I'd hate to see daddies, am I right?