The Best Fred Quotes

Randy: [talking on the phone with Samantha] I was going to tell you something, but, maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.
Samantha: You may as well. Nothing could shock me anymore.
Randy: Last night at the dance, my little brother paid a buck to see your underwear.
Samantha: [screams] Aaaaaaaahhh!
Howard: [Her grandparents downstairs are startled by the scream] Geez! I hate that rock 'n' roll rubbish!
Grandpa: Well, I'm afraid it's here to stay, Howie.

Long: Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.
Mike: It's a quiche.
Long: How do you spell?
Grandpa: Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.
[laughs]

Grandpa: Hey Howard, there's your Chinaman.
Howard: Thanks, Fred.

Grandma: Oh Sam, let me look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
Grandpa: [chuckles] I better go get my magnifying glass.
Grandma: Oh, and they are so Perky.
Grandma: [reaches to cup them]
Samantha: [cut to Sam's bedroom] I can't believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.