The Best Capt. 'Ugly John' Black Quotes

Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: [Hawkeye, Trapper, and Ugly John are playing poker] I'll open for two blues.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre: Wait a minute. The blues are worth $5,000 or $10,000?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: For the last time, the whites are worth $5,000, the blues are worth $10,000, the reds are worth $25,000. A whole stack is worth a million, and at the end of the game, we'll settle for half.
[Hawkeye and Trapper bid]
Capt. 'Ugly John' Black: I'll call.
Army Capt. 'Trapper John' McIntyre: By the way, what happens if the bomb doesn't go off?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Then the whites are worth 25 cents, the blues are worth 50 cents, and the reds are worth a dollar.