The Best Colonel Quotes

Radar: [under his breath] Hawk!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Huh?
Radar: [under his breath] He's coming over here!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Play hard to get.
Radar: Don't horse around!
Colonel: Boys.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Sir.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Colonel.
Colonel: You all know this is an Officer's Club, don't you?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: I'm a Captain, Plain Clothes Division.
Colonel: Uh huh. Corporal Stripes and Captains Bars?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: That's a new directive from the Pentagon. That's right out of G2 and G3 making a G5 Combined Officers Op-Tech Glitch. We're experimenting with a new rank: Corporal-Captain. We're down here taking a survey, to see, uh, you know, if everybody likes it, uh, asking everybody in Seoul.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Coleman Hawkins, right?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Right.
Colonel: Well, I don't like it. I don't like it at all!
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: [to BJ] Uh, put down one "No;" one "Against."
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut: Right. One "Negative; Corporal-Captain."
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: Thank you, Colonel. We really appreciate your help in this.
Colonel: No, Sir! I don't like it at all!
Radar: He doesn't like it at all.